Never Alone
by WanderingChild-InWinter
Summary: Rey and Kylo Ren meet in less than ideal circumstances, but they find that they understand each other better than anyone else ever has. In a moment of passion, brought on by a powerful force connection, the entire fate of the galaxy is destined to change. They are destined to change. But can he become the man he was always meant to be? Can love and light really bring balance?
1. Chapter One Because I Know

AN: _**Well….Here goes nothing! I love starwars- like, a lot. I love it. And I love Rey and Kylo/Ben so much. Like, I will go down with this ship...and loving them turned into imagining a whole new story for them, which ended up being a rather long work of Fanfiction! It's romantic, it's angsty, it's heartwarming, and heartbreaking. I hope you like it! Keep in mind, I write mainly for my own enjoyment, so there are 199% going to be some mistakes, but I try to keep them to a minimum! Also, to understand some particular points in this story as a whole, it's best to have seen TFA and also TLJ. I mean, my story varies a lot from the actual events of TLJ, but it is the same universe.**_

 _ **DISCLAIMER: I uh, don't own star wars, obviously, because If I did, Rey and Kylo would totally have made out already- I mean, what? Who said that?**_

Her wrists were bound, and there was cold, unforgiving metal under her back. She keeps her eyes closed for a second more, trying to sort it all out, but she's hyper aware of eyes on her. _His_ eyes. The man who'd taken her away in the forest. Her eyelids fly open, revealing hazel eyes shining with more curiosity than fear.

And he's there. He's wearing a mask, but he's there. She clears her throat and struggles to speak.

"Where am I?" She asks, looking at him, not shrinking.

"You're my guest." His voice is distorted by his mask. She imagines most must find it intimidating, but she's known more than her fair share of monsters and there's something about him that tells her to stay calm. If he'd wanted her dead, she'd have been dead before he'd even bothered to bring her here. Then she remembers her friends- Finn, Han, Chewy, even little BB-8.

"Where are the others?" She tries to keep her voice detached, and even, but even so it wavers. He lets out a huff that might be a laugh it weren't for the mask.

"You mean the murderers, traitors and thieves you call friends? You'll be relieved to hear that I have no idea." He takes a step towards her, and her body stiffens of it's own accord. "You still want to kill me." It's not a question, there's no hint of surprise in his voice.

"That's what happens when you're being hunted by a monster in a mask." She hisses, and he freezes for a second before he reaches up to his mask, which makes a hissing sound as he presses a button; for a second, she feels fear. What lies beneath the mask? What horrible sight was he hiding? What could be worse than the mask? And these thoughts are why her jaw falls slack when he pulls the mask away revealing a very handsome, very young man, not at all what she had expected. Pale skin, black, untamed curly hair, and eyes so brown they were nearly black. Suddenly, a small, real smile pulls at the corners of his pouty lips, and Rey is struck by just how... _beautiful_ he is. And then she realizes the smile came when she had felt the intrusion in her head, and she growls.

"Thank you." He says, the slight smile present even in his voice, and she's infuriated. He takes another step forward, and she angles her jaw up defiantly. "You know I can take whatever I want?" His words send cold fear pooling into her heart. He reaches out to touch her, and she turns her face away, suddenly trembling.

"No! Please!" She cries, and his hand flies away like he'd burned himself. She feels him in her head, but she's powerless to stop him this time as he sees her fear, sees him hurting her in the one way she'd managed to avoid being hurt before, and he growls, only adding to her fear.

"Do you think so lowly of me?" He asks, using the force to turn her face towards him again. "I am many things-"

"A murderer! A monster!" She nearly spits, and he doesn't deny it. The opposite, in fact.

"Yes. Many things." He agrees, obviously fighting to keep his voice level. "Many things. But I am _not_ going to _violate you_. I'm not a _rapist."_ His voice drips with such obvious disgust that she can't help but believe him. She automatically relaxes a fraction, closing her eyes and drawing a breath. Though he's already had time to look at her while she was unconscious, this was the first moment he could really take her in, without the slight tinting from his mask. She was extraordinary. Slender and delicate, but not without curves. Dark brown hair that was leaping free from it's ties, leaving tendrils around her face. Surprisingly pale skin for a scavenger, dotted with freckles.

"I can feel you watching me." She says, not opening her eyes, and this time he's the one who is surprised.

"What?"

"I feel it." She says again, slowly opening her eyes and meeting his, the fear of just a few moments ago completely gone. He turns his back on her for a moment, removing his gloves slowly, and he's so surprised when he feels the probing presence of her mind in his that he doesn't think to block it. "You want information from me. You want to know where the droid is. You want the map to Skywalker." He turns back to her quickly.

"I knew it! I knew you were strong with the force!" He says, taking another step towards her. She doesn't tremble in fear this time, and he realizes that despite everything else, she trusts that he doesn't intend to assault her. He reaches out for her again, but stops when he sees a vision in her mind. Water. Green. Warmth. Wind.

"Get out of my head!" She growls, and he knows that he's stumbled upon something precious to her. His eyes close as he sees it clearly.

"... You're so lonely... so afraid to leave...At night, desperate to sleep... you imagine an ocean. I see it - I see the island…" His eyes fly open when he feels her reaching back into his mind, and he focuses all of his strength on keeping her out. But then he sees the tears silently slipping down her cheeks, tears she's crying for years of loneliness, of abandonment, of fear, and hardships. And he sees himself at fifteen, feeling afraid and abandoned by everyone who had ever claimed to love him; and perhaps that's why he lets her in. He almost gasps as he feels her light in his head, so different from the darkness that rages around almost all of the time. It's familiar, and he revels in it despite himself.

"You…" Rey says, her voice soft and uneven. She sees vulnerability. See memories of a life gone by lived alone. Sees a young boy often left to the care of droids while his parents did everything they could to help balance the galaxy. She feels the want and the sorrow that he felt, the abandonment. She sees the moments that brought him to the darkness. And she feels, she _knows-_ "Your name- it's-"

"Don't." He says, his voice a whisper.

" _Ben."_ She says, and he reaches for her again. This time she doesn't tremble, or recoil. She meets his eyes as he bare hand caresses her cheek more softly than she'd thought him capable of, and instantly she feels a sort of tremor run through her, runs through them both that causes him to leap back.

"What was that?" He asks, looking at his hand.

"How should I know?" She asks, staring intently at him. They just stare for a moment, until they both realize that they can sense everything the other does; Kylo feels the cold metal on her back, Rey feels the electricity thrumming through his fingers elicited by the feel of her smooth skin. "Do that again." She says, almost a command, and yet he obliges without question. He closes what little space he'd put between them, and lays his hand on her cheek once again. The tremor runs through them again, stronger, but neither waivers this time. Slowly it ebbs into a sort of warmth that pulses through them like a river; where the others mind had been somewhat jumbled and hard to read before, everything became crystal clear.

And Rey saw so much.

Saw all of the stories she had been told, but through his eyes. And she saw Snoke through it all. Manipulating. Lying. Poisoning. But most of all, she saw the crippling loneliness and abandonment he endured every day of his existence. Her flesh heated as she saw an image of him and a girl, a scared girl, but a willing participant in the encounter, a gift from Snoke, she saw, as he'd tried to find some sort of human comfort, but only felt more empty. She could see that it hadn't been a one time occurence. And each time it had left him lonelier than ever, often disgusted, unlovable, unwanted. All he had was the First Order. All he could rely on was Power. He was alone. As alone as she was.

"Kiss me." She says quickly, and he pulls back again. But the warmth doesn't go. Doesn't even abate an ounce.

"What sort of trick is this?" He asks, his eyes narrowing.

"It's no trick. I know you can see my mind as I see yours. You'd know if it was a trick." She says, her voice much calmer than she felt on the inside. He's still wary.

"I don't want your pity." He says almost bitterly. "You've got nothing more than I do. You're as alone as I am. What right do you have to pity me?"

"None. But you want to kiss me as much as I want you to kiss me. I can see it in your mind." She says, her voice soft, coaxing.

"Say it again." He commands, inching forward.

"I want you to kiss me." She repeats, and his hands frame her face.

"Again." He commands, but his voice is softer this time, his face so close to hers…

"I want _you."_ She breathes, and his lips brush against hers, sending jolts of pleasure down her spine. Where he touches her, she feels sparks of electricity radiating to her entire body. She lets out a soft sigh, which he takes as an invitation to deepen the kiss. Her mouth opens to him, allowing him access, and she surprises herself by gently biting his full lower lip, which only serves to make him growl, but not in anger. It's a low, primal sound she's never heard before, and it sends heat through her entire body. Her hands pull against the restraints, desperate to bury themselves in his dark, curly hair, but they won't budge. She growls in frustration, and he moves down to kiss the perfect skin of her perfect throat.

"I'd release you, but you'd try to run." he breathes, and she shakes her head.

"Run to where?"

"Rey…" he says, and she can't help but think how sweet her name sounds on his lips.

"I want to touch you- please." Her face flushes with embarrassment at her confession, but he lets out a low groan somewhere between pleasure and pain, and with a wave of his hand the restraints fly away. She should run. She should try to escape. But honestly, what are the odds she could get away with Kylo Ren standing so close? She honestly cant think of a reason to try as his mouth meets hers again, and she buries her fingers in his hair, her nails brushing his scalp, making him growl, which feeds her spirit, makes her want more. His hands trail down her sides to the hem of her worn shirt, reaching beneath it, stroking the bare skin of her stomach, leaving gooseflesh in the wake of his gentle caresses. It's wrong, she knows, but his touch, his kiss, him- he is everything. Without hesitating, she lets go of his hair, and reaches between them to find the fabric of her shirt, pulling it off, leaving her bare before him. She watches in amazement as his eyes grow impossibly darker, and he suddenly seems unsure of himself. She pulls him closer, and kisses him again, and he wraps his hands around her waist, settling them in the small of her back, slowly moving them upwards until his thumbs brush the sides of- "Ben!" She gasps, and that smug little smile pulls up the corners of his lips again. He turns his attention to her breasts then, and all she can do is let her head fall back as she revels in this feeling, made stronger by the strange, unnamed bond that seemed to have formed when they touched the first time. She doesn't understand this, doesn't even necessarily like it, not like this, with the man who'd caused so much pain in the galaxy, but blast it all, she craved it- needed it like she'd never needed anything before! And she wanted more. Her legs wrapped around his waist seemingly of their own accord, and she gasped again as she felt him so close to her core, felt that he wanted her as much as she wanted him. Desperately.

"You can tell me no." he finally says, raising his head up to look into her eyes with wildly dark eyes that don't look dangerous any longer. They're too full of something else, something she can't name.

"I...thought you could take what you wanted." She tried to tease as she tried to catch her breath.

"Not this." He says firmly. Had he been able to think clearly, he'd have known that this was the moment to try to delve deeper into her mind for the information he was supposed to find. While her guard was down, while she was distracted, she wouldn't think to keep him away from it. But all he could think of was Her. Of how much he wanted this, wanted her. Wanted to be wanted. Wanted to make those little noises come from her throat. Wanted to kiss her and touch her and move against her until she was calling out his name.

"Take it." She said suddenly, pulling his face back to hers. "But take this off. I want to feel your heartbeat." She says, pinching the black fabric covering his torso. He obliged warily, but was ecstatic to see the look in her eye as she took in his frame, well muscled from hours of training every day. The Hazel turned dark, and somehow more beautiful than ever. She reached out, and felt his heartbeat under her palm, and he shuddered as she realized that their hearts were beating in time, and with each beat of their hearts came a gentle thrum of that warm electricity that seemed to travel between them. She kissed him again, and pulled him so close that it didn't seem possible, his forehead pressed against hers. "I should hate you. I should want to kill you."

"But you don't anymore." he said, again, not a question.

"No." She shook her head. "I can't stand the idea of you not existing." She didn't know why she'd admitted that; she certainly didn't have to. But it was true. Somehow, when she'd seen his mind, she'd seen all of his doubts and fears; she'd seen the call he felt, the pull towards the light. And maybe, just maybe, she could be the one to pull him back. He kissed her along her shoulder, marking her skin with his mouth, making her gasp and moan in pleasure.

"You belong to me." He growled primally as he slowly undressed her. "Anyone else who tries to touch you dies." A chill runs down her spine, but it's not from terror. She wants to say that she doesn't belong to anyone, that she doesn't need anyone, but she cant bring herself to utter the words. So she drags his face back up to hers, and kisses him roughly.

"And you belong to me." She whispered against his lips, and his whole body seems to hum in response. "I'm a scavenger. I don't take kindly to my precious things being stolen." He laughs a little against her mouth, and continues working her body until she can't take it anymore, and she sees stars.

When he was finally inside of her, she felt some pain, but she'd had worse. And never before had pain been laced with such pleasure. It was everything; for that moment at least, it could erase all of the pain of abandonment, all of the worries that she was worth nothing, because she could feel how much he wanted her, physically of course, and through the bond that had forged between their minds. He wanted her so much, that the thought was edged with fears of what would happen if her light got to him. She smiled into his shoulder and brushed her teeth against it a moment later as the fingers of the hand he wasn't using to support her weight laced with hers above her head. She goes over the edge again, finding it all too much with all of the powerful ways they're connected. He follows soon after, and lays heavily against her, but she doesn't mind. No, she adores his closeness.

"Of all the ways I thought my day would go…" She says after a moment, and she feels his laughter against her body.

"It's a good thing these rooms are soundproof." He says, and she giggles too until she remembers why these rooms were soundproofed to begin with. So that no one would have to deal with the unpleasantness of a screaming prisoner in the midst of torture. Reality washes over both of them like an ice bath. He pulls away slightly, staring at her completely mussed hair and swollen lips. She's radiant, perfection, a goddess of goodness and light. And she'd given herself to him, a prince of darkness.

"What now?" She asks hesitantly, her fingers making a slow trail across his broad chest. A thousand thoughts fly through his mind, and she leans back, waiting for him to settle on one. He should kill her now, as a kindness. He should take her to the Supreme leader, as he'd want him to, once he knew that she was force sensitive. He could make love to her again right here, right now, or-

"Get dressed. Quickly." he says, following his own orders. She looks at him for a moment before she pulls her own things on. She's just finishing as he puts he collects his mask again. "Do you trust me?"

"I trust Ben." She says, wary again. "Who are you?"

"Ben." He whispers, and he kisses her lips softly three times.

"Then I trust you." She says, taking in the smell of him for one moment. "I shouldn't. But I do."

"Good. Come on. We don't have much time." He explains, throwing a pair of binders on her wrists. "Struggle, but not too much. You should be weak. Supposedly, I've been interrogating you. My men will expect you to be in bad shape." He admits, and she feels a wave of nausea pass over her at his words. He puts on the mask again, cutting off her view of his beautiful dark eyes.

"What are you doing?" She asks before he opens the door.

"I told you. No one was going to touch you but me. Not in any way. I've seen your mind. I know you won't join me, won't let me train you. There's too much light. The supreme leader will kill you for that...and I can't let him. No more questions. We have to hurry." His voice sounds strange as he speaks through the mask, harsh despite seemingly gentle words. But she can still feel Ben there. However much he might deny it, He's not gone.


	2. Chapter 2 Please

_**AN: So I decided to post a second chapter today, since I always like to have a little bit more to read, especially when the story is new! Thanks for reading!**_

He drags her through the hall, and the men look on smugly. Even the troopers pause to look at her and whisper. Rens little prisoner, a worthless nothing, surely on her way to a painful execution. She has no way to prove that they're wrong.

" _I'm not going to hurt you."_ His voice in her mind startles her, makes her trip over her feet, but he catches her before she can fall, and stands her back up roughly, though he gently squeezes her arm before he lets go. She'd felt him in her head before, but now she could hear his voice as plainly as if he were speaking to her aloud. And she wonders…

" _What is this?"_ She asks, sending the words to him across the streams of energy.

" _It would appear we have a bond of some sort across the force."_ He shrugs mentally, and she almost wants to laugh at how absurd that sounds. " _Can you really still doubt the force, Rey?"_

" _No."_ She responds after a minute, keeping her eyes fixed firmly on his back, trying not to think about how the flesh of it is probably riddled with scrapes left by her jagged nails; it was only fair. He'd marked her shoulders, her throat, her breasts. Why should he walk away without a physical reminder?

" _Rey…"_ He cautions, and she knows he's been in her thoughts, seen it as she's relieved intimate details of what had just occurred. And she could feel the pulses of desire that it sent through him. It thrilled her and terrified her that she could have such an effect on such a powerful man. That she had been the one to make him come undone. That she had been the one to plant that seed of doubt in his mind, the one made of light. Or perhaps she hadn't planted it, but her light had givin it what it needed to take root and grow.

" _I don't understand what you're doing."_ she says next.

" _Neither do I."_ He admits with what feels like a sigh. And suddenly, they're in an empty room, a hall, really, and he undoes her binders. "Follow this hall. It will take you to a hanger. Take one of the ships and go. Get far away from here." She nods, and turns away from him, but there is a sharp tugging at her heart, telling her that she can't leave him. So she turns to look at him.

"Ben?" She asks, reaching up to his mask, which he removes almost instinctively. Her hand meets his cheek, and he leans into it. He's known so little tenderness in his life, and he's known none for many years. This might be the last moment he has to experience it. "Come with me. Please." Her voice is fervent, pleading.

"I can't." He says firmly.

"Ben, please. I...I can't let you go. Please, we can leave together, we can go back to-"

"To the resistance? To the people who would kill me without a trial? They'd have every right to. Ive killed more of their men with my own hands than I can count. This is my place."

"What if your place was with me? No sides, no war, just us?" Rey isn't sure where this pleading is coming from, where the absolute terror and fear of losing him resonates from, but it's deep within her chest. " _Please."_

"Rey. You can get away. I'll stall, I'll say that you escaped. You're valuable to the Supreme leader, but not worth an entire fleet risked in battle. I, on the other hand...I'm his apprentice. I know too much. I'm too strong with the force. He'll never let me go." He takes her face in his hands, trying to get through to her. "Please, you have to leave. I can't let him have you! You...you're worth everything to me." She kisses him then, passionately, deeply, promising more, promising things they could never have.

"I'll come back for you someday." She says, leaning her forehead against his.

"Right." He tries not to sound sarcastic, but he knows that it would be impossible. That once she leaves Starkiller, he'll never see her again. But he knows that he'll feel her; the force bond between them is too powerful for her to ever truly be far enough away to avoid being felt. Being heard. "You have to go." He insists finally, forcing himself to break contact. She nods, and backs away slowly, doing everything she can to distract herself from the pain that leaving is inflicting on her; it shouldn't hurt so much. She doesn't know him. She should hate him.

She should. But she doesn't.

And the pain is unbearable. It's unbearable as soon as she realizes that she's feeling his pain too. Pain like he is being torn in two. And then anger, his saber slashing through metal in his rage. She wants to go back to him, to kiss him sane, to beg him to go with her, to drag him along if she has to. But she keeps running. And she keeps running.

But the feeling never fades.


	3. Chapter 3 Shattered Hearts

AN: _**Annnnnnd because today is the first day of uploads, one final chapter, because good things come in threes!**_

 _ **(Bi-chapter reminder, Starwars is not mine)**_

Everything is wrong. Everything is jumbled, it's horrible, it's a mess. Every part of this day had gone wrong. Rey sees flashes across her vision, horrible sights, all of them real. Finding Finn and Han. Running. Planning to destroy- seeing Ben again, feeling herself screaming at him through the bond, feeling him screaming at her, Get away, get out- Seeing him stab Han Solo through the chest. The rage that followed, and suddenly, she was inside his head, and there was remorse, but not enough of it. There was too much darkness. The light she'd seen growing earlier was all but snuffed out.

And she wanted to hate him, but she couldn't. And so she hated herself instead.

And then he'd gone after Fin. The only friend she'd ever really had. So she fought him, the man who'd just been her lover. Who's feelings she could sense like they were her own, and she'd left a scratch across his handsome face, reminding her of the nail marks raked across his back. And when he's at her mercy, she almost hears him begging her to just end it, end it because he can't live with himself any more. End it because she hates him, and she is everything. End it because he's a monster.

And she wants to. She wants to take the blue saber and end his life as easily as he seemed to have ended the life of his father. But she can't. She can't because she can remember his body on hers, in hers, remembers his mind melding with hers, all of his fears, all of his doubts, and she can't bring herself to kill him. So she leaves him. Gets on the falcon and escapes, knowing he'll probably die as the base explodes.

But as they fly away, she can still feel him. He's in pain, obviously. He was blasted by Chewy, she'd wounded him. But it's his mental pain that astounds her most; he feels lost. His father is dead at his hand. The only woman who had ever held him, ever wanted him was out of his reach forever, and he was probing out wildly with his mind to reach her. But she would not let him. It got easier as they got further. But it was still difficult, not least of all because part of her wanted to let him in.

She took Finn's hand instead, and focused on him. He'd been hurt very badly, she can feel his pain. She's glad he's not conscience, because then the pain would surely be too much for him to bear. She wishes she'd been there to protect him sooner, wishes she had been able to keep him from this blow. She wishes she hadn't trusted Ben Solo, because he clearly wasn't there. Kylo Ren had killed him as he'd killed his father. Releasing his hand, she falls against the ground, and let's her sorrow overtake everything else. She'd given the only thing she really had had that was hers up so freely, and for what? Some mystical magical connection she'd felt to him? Filthy, horrible, guilty, all of these words hit her at once like a slap across the face.

" _Rey...please…"_ In her weeping, she'd let her guard down, and he was there again.

" _Get out! Go!"_ She responds, burying her face in her hands.

" _Let me explain!"_

" _Murderer! Monster! Liar! You used me!"_

" _You know that isn't true."_ He growls in response. He has no defense for the first three. But she'd been in his head when he'd kissed her, when he'd made love to her. She knew that it had never crossed his mind to take from her. He'd given more than he'd taken. He'd constantly thought of her, and her pleasure as he'd taken his own.

" _I never want to speak to you again! Get out of my head! Get out!"_ She was almost screaming at him now, and with one last great effort, she pushes him out, and is left in silence. The worst part of it is that she wants him still. She wants him in her mind. Wants his skin against her own. Wants to give him all of her light, so that maybe, just maybe the turmoil and darkness will leave him. She lifts the lightsaber, the one that had belonged to his grandfather, and ignites it, watchin the blue glow radiate over the room. It lets off a hum, almost as if it's alive, and she feels him at the back of her mind again; she wants him out, she wants to understand, but she doesn't.

So she knows what she'll have to do. She'll have to find Luke Skywalker, and beg him to train her. He'll know how to keep Kylo out, she thinks to herself. He'll know.


	4. Chapter 4 Never Undone

AN: **Hello everyone! Back at it again! Another chapter for you! Thanks to everyone who followed and favorited, and to my one and only reviewer! You're fantastic humans!**

She's only ever seen Luke in Kylo's memories, tainted with pain, regret, hurt, abandonment. So maybe that's why she's shocked to see him look so normal, with longer hair and beard blowing in the wind. His eyes are kind, so unlike the look she'd seen in the memories, full of disappointment and fear.

"Rey." He says as she extends the lightsaber to him.

"How did you know that?" She asks, leaning back.

"I sensed it. In a vision." He shrugs. What's new to her is just a fact of life for him. Visions and the force. "I knew that you were coming. It was only a matter of time."

"I had to come-"

"You're in need of training. To understand this...thing that's awoken inside of you." Luke says, and she finds herself frustrated that he can finish all of her sentences. "Sorry. It's been...a long time since I had to interact with another human being."

"It's alright." She says, relaxing slightly. "You're right. I need help. The galaxy needs help. So much has happened." She doesn't want to repeat it, so she relaxes and lets memories of the last few days flow into his mind. She's careful, giving him full coverage of some things; Han's death, her fight with Kylo in the woods. Some of it she gives him only clipped pieces of; her interrogation, her escape. But that doesn't stop the undercurrent of lust and frenzied desire and fear when she shows him Kylo Ren. It doesn't stop her from radiating guilt, and regret mixed with sick satisfaction that filled her with shame.

"He's in your head." Luke observes, and she nods. He's still trying to speak it her, a constant tickle and tugging the edge of her mind. She had been right, it had faded a bit with distance, but it was still there.

"I don't know how to keep him out. Not all the way." She confirms, and lets him put a fatherly hand on her shoulder.

"Come with me. haven't eaten in too long." He's right of course, but hunger was nothing Rey wasn't used to. Hunger was easier to deal with than the force. She follows him to his stone hut, where he has a large fish cooking over a fire. "You're full of pain. Anger. Regret." He says as he gestures for her to sit by the fire, which she does.

"Yes."

"Those emotions will hurt you, in the long one." He warns.

"They hurt me now." Rey says, avoiding his eyes at all costs. The pain swells up inside of her at the mention of it, and she feels him pushing against her mind even harder now.

"You want me to teach you how to keep him out."

"Yes." She whispers, focusing all of her thoughts on pushing back against the push.

"You've got a force bond with him. I can feel it radiating off of you." Luke says. "It's strong. Stronger than any I've ever seen." Luke looks curiously at her, with slightly narrowed eyes. "It might not be possible to break it. But I think I can teach you how to push him out without too much strain."

"Yes!" Rey cries, almost clapping her hands. She wants that more than anything.

"I shouldn't train you. You're too old. That's what my old master said to me." Luke sideways smiles as he says this. "But I can sense something about you. Something that tells me I should train you." Something in his voice catches, and Rey is quick to pick up on it.

"Your last padawan failed you." The mask of Kylo Ren flashes before both of their eyes. "But I will not." He smiles at her, and hands her a plate of food.

"Your training begins tomorrow morning. Tonight you just eat and rest." He says kindly, and then leaves to go somewhere and meditate he says. She doesn't mind. She could use a bit of silence. She eats her food, which is surprisingly good, and lays against a pallet Luke had had set up on the floor for her. He said that He had set it up once he was certain that she was coming. Her eyelids are heavy, she's nearly given into sleep when suddenly, he's there, as if he were in the room with her, and she bolts upright.

"What are you doing here?" She demands, her fingers itching to wrap around the lightsaber.

"Honestly, I don't know. I'm not doing this." He insists. She takes in his appearance; he looks casual, in dark sleeping clothes, tousled dark hair. It's only been two weeks since she saw him last, but his face seems paler, and there are dark circles under his eyes. He looks horrible. "Thanks."

"Get out of my head." She growls, crossing her arms over her chest.

"I wasn't trying."

"For the first time in weeks." She scoffs.

"Can you see around me? Or do you just see me?"

"Go away!"

"No, you must only be able to see me. You're all I see."

"I hate you." She says, half heartedly.

"You should." The answer takes her aback.

"What game is this?" She asks, narrowed eyes.

"There's no game. You know I don't lie." Again, he's telling the truth. Rey knows that he doesn't. He doesn't fear anyone's reactions enough to lie.

"I don't understand!" She hisses, running her hands over his face.

"The force has connected us." He says simply.

"The force, the force! You blame everything on the force!"

"I don't blame things on the force. Everything is the force- or, actually, the force is in everything. It's not for us to understand, Rey."

"You don't get to use my name. Not anymore." She says, summoning everything within her to try to push him away. His image almost seems to flicker for a moment before it's back.

"At least let me explain!" He growls, raking his fingers angrily through his hair.

"Explain what? There is nothing you can say to make this better- nothing will make it right!" She cries. "I thought...I thought that you would be something...someone! I thought that what we had shared at least would matter to you, even just a little!"

"It was everything!" He gets closer to her, and though she knew that he wasn't there, not really, she could almost physically feel him. "You felt it. I know that you did!"

"...That doesn't matter." She shakes her head.

"It _does."_

"There was a balance there. Darkness and light, existing without conflict. That's what we are-"

"Without conflict?!" Rey scoffs. "You killed your own father! I cared for him! He cared for me!"

"He would have disappointed you!" Somewhere far away she hears a clatter, and she knows that he's used the force to throw something. "Come back to me, Rey. Please."

"No." She says firmly.

"I could show you so much! And you and I...Dark and Light...Rey, we could bring balance!"

"Balance? You throw around the word so casually." They stare at each other, hyper aware of the energy flowing between them.

"Rey…"

"I'm tired." She says firmly, laying back down on the pallet.

"Please." He says, his voice quieter.

"I'm _tired."_ She repeats, and closes her eyes. When she opens them again briefly, She's alone. She lets out a sigh of relief, but it's tinged with sadness. Yes, she's alone. She's always alone.


	5. Chapter Five Let Me In

AN: _**Hello again! I've got another chapter for you! For the most part I have the entire story written, but I don't know how frequently I'll be able to update it, but I was thinking I'd like to do one a day for the first week, and then We'll see! It's rather a long story. I mean, I could combine some of the shorter things, but I like the pacing the way it is! It moves pretty quick at times, but I think these characters tend to feel everything more intensely than most, and therefore move a bit quicker. This is one of those chapters where there are references to info we learned in TLJ, so it could be a bit confusing if you haven't seen it.**_

"Breathe. And focus on the light. Breathe it in. Feel it around you." Luke says, and Rey inhales deeply. She's been here for three weeks, and she already feels that she's learned much. But Master Luke says there is much more to go. But she is an eager student, and Luke is a patient teacher. Rey can't help but view him in a paternal light, and Luke doesn't mind it.

She meditates, and breathes in the light, as he had instructed. It glimmers through her system like a living being, kissing her nerve endings softly, warming her from the inside out. It's like the rain, which she's only so rarely experienced, and all of those had happened here on Ahch-To. She feels the light, sees it. It's power. It's strength. It's comfort.

"Is he there?" Luke asks, and Rey shakes her head. Since he'd appeared to her that first night in a vision, he'd not tried to push into her head again, but most of the time, she got the sense that he wasn't gone. She still felt twinges now and again; exertion, anger, frustration, and worst of all the occasional twinges of immeasurable sorrow. Luke has been right, the force bond was strong. Stronger than she'd ever dreamed. She'd thought that it would only exist if one of them tried to reach out, but it was still there.

But right now, there was nothing. Nothing except the light. She lets it flow through her entire body, and she knows that in part she's trying to wash away whatever remaining darkness remained from the last time Kylo had been in her head. She sits on the rock for hours, but she doesn't tire, and she doesn't cease until she's startled by Luke's hand on her shoulder.

"That's enough for today Rey." He says softly, and she nods. "You're growing stronger with the force, every day." She can't help the giant smile that breaks out on her face when he says that. Finally, she has someone to make proud, and she knows that he is.

"Can I go for a run?" She asks, needing to move after sitting for so long.

"Of course. You can do what you want here, Rey." He says, an offer of freedom like she has never known. She looks skeptical, thinking of all she has heard of the Jedi before, and what she has read since she has come here. Too much freedom was not allowed. "What have I told you, Rey?"

"That the Jedi ended in part because they did not allow freedom. Freedom to love, or freedom to go where you wished." Rey repeats.

"And it's different to the sith because-"

"Because the sith only use the darkness. They only want power. And they achieve it through chaos, lies, deceit, and violence." She recites, and he pats her shoulder. She's seen all of this first hand. The darkness had literally turned son against father, and made men kill off entire planets.

"I'll be back at the hut. I promised Chewy I'd help him find something edible." Luke is smirking, and Rey lets out a lugh. They'd all seen the aftermath of Chewy's encounter with the porgs.

"Right." Rey nods, and quickly adjusts her hair before she breaks out in a run. Before she'd come here, she'd never run for pleasure; run from danger? More times than she could count. But here, she felt as if she could run forever. It was exhilarating, and though the island was relatively small, there were still parts of it she hadn't covered. She would run, and sometimes she would leap distances that a month ago she wouldn't have thought possible; but Luke was teaching her to trust in the force, and she was really beginning to. She's not only becoming stronger in the force, but stronger of body too. Every day she can run farther than the day before, even venturing up the giant stone staircases with relative ease. It probably helps that even though they're on a small island, Luke keeps her better fed than she has ever been before in her life. She's just gone over the top of the biggest hill when she feels a wave of nausea roll through her system. "Damn." She huffs, dropping to a knee as she fights to keep her stomach from emptying and wasting the food that was so precious to her. This isn't the first time it's happened, and she's beginning to think it's because for the first time in her life, she's not eating portioned food. She eats as much as she can, and her stomach certainly can't be used to that. She empties her stomach on the edge of the hill, and spits. She groans, and suppresses the urge to vomit again. She's so miserable for this moment that she doesn't notice him at first, but then he's dropped to his knee in front of her, a look of concern in his wild dark eyes.

"What's wrong?" He asks, his hands twitching with the need to touch her.

"Really? You pop up now?" She groans, pinching her nose.

"Again, I wasn't trying to. I don't know how to control this any more than you do." He says, gesturing between them. Rey sighs, and looks up at him for a moment, and she's struck by how out of place he seems here, dressed all in black and pale in the sunshine. "But I felt...pain."

"Freaking force bond." She sighs. "I'm fine." He can't see her surroundings anyways, he doesn't know she's just been sick.

"So you accept it then, the force?" He asks, crossing his arms.

"Yes." She nods. "I don't know how I ever denied it."

"I knew it. The stronger you get with the force, the more I can feel you." He explains.

"I'll learn to keep you out." She threatens, and she means it.

"I don't think you will." He says, almost smugly.

"I will. I want you gone."

"But not dead?" He asks, and her jaw falls slightly slack. Her words from Starkiller echo through both of their minds.

" _I can't stand the idea of you not existing."_

"You don't deserve that sentiment." She's blushing now, with memories of everything that came after she had spoken those words. "Not anymore."

"You won't hear my side of things?" He asks, half curious, half imploring.

"I've seen in your head, Ren. I know what you think has happened. But you're blinded by darkness. You're a monster." She hisses. "Your Supreme Leader has poisoned your head. He's the reason you are alone."

"And you're letting my Uncle poison your head!" He growls at her. "He tried to kill me!"

"He didn't!" She shakes her head fast. "Not really!" She pushes the memory that Luke had shown her into Kylo's head before he knows to block it, and she knows he sees everything. Luke's own fears and hesitations, and the shame and guilt he's felt every day since then.

"He...He's lying to you! It's a lie!" Kylo insists, but she hears the slight tinge of doubt in his voice. She forces the memory into his head again, focusing on the feelings that Luke had had that horrible night. All of the shame he'd felt. Sharp regret.

"No. He isn't." Rey says firmly, and she inches closer to him, careful to avoid her sick. "Kylo, your memories...almost all of them, they seem to have been tainted. Tampered with by the darkness…" She gets closer, so close she could touch him if he were really here.

"You don't know anything." He spits, and she feels it land on her arm. So she wonders….She reaches her arm up, and puts her hand on his cheek, and they both gasp.

"How?" She asks, because he feels real, like flesh and blood beneath her fingertips. Her fingers trail across his jaw, and into his perfect dark hair, savoring the feel of it. They're both transfixed, and the force that runs between them hums in approval. She has an idea, and suddenly, she's kissing him, and she doesn't question if it's possible or not. He gasps, and wraps his arms around her waist. She lifts her other hand to his face, and very carefully focuses on the light, sending it into his mind, into his very life force-

He springs back as if burnt, and stares at her with wide eyes.

"What did you do?" He's accusing her.

"Kiss you?" She asks innocently.

"I felt that. You were trying...But it's a lie, Rey. The light is weakness." He says, his voice hoarse.

"It's only weakness because you tell yourself that! It's giving me strength- it can give you strength too!" She insists, looking up at him. Suddenly she's shy, she's nervous. "Ben...if there's any part of you left, please, please, come back to me. Please." His gaze is almost soft for a moment, and she can feel that he's torn.

"Ben Solo was weak. And he's gone. He died with his father." The words do to her what the light did to him, and she physically recoils. She does the only thing she can think to do then. She turns her back on him and runs. He doesn't try to chase after her, and she doesn't care why. She only cares that he's fading away, getting farther and farther with every step until the only sense she has of him is the mild is the low under current of emotion that usually thrums at the back of her mind.


	6. Chapter 6 Changes

_**AN: Here's chapter Six! So excited to share it! It's always wonderful to see a review or a favorite or follow! Thanks for reading!**_

She senses him trying harder than ever to reach her. Near constantly he batters against the defenses she's put up in her mind, stopping sometimes for an entire day, but she never hopes that he won't come back. She knows him well enough to know that he won't give up. So she focuses even harder on the lessons that Luke teaches her, and knows that the light will lead her to the answers she needs.

And something else nags at the back of her mind. Something is wrong, and she knows that Luke feels it too. Her force signature has risen beyond what's normal, and she is changing in ways that are foreign to both of them.

She's never had regular cycles. She's been starving all of her life, working extensively. It had never bothered her before now, if anything it had been a blessing. One less thing to have to deal with amidst all of the others. Now she wishes she had,, so that she could know.

She'd never had a mother. No one to tell her the signs of something like this, something she can't even bring herself to acknowledge consciously. But when she mediates, or when she lets her mind wander, she feels it. She knows it. Fears it, and, worse, wants it. When that thought washes over her for the first time, she starts trembling, and the rain that's falling around her is suddenly suspended above her, a flash of the true power she had within her. Luke doesn't seem surprised. He's not afraid of emotions like the Jedi of old. She knows that he had tried to live life that way, had tried to teach his first students to be detached, and that clearly had not gone well for him.

Neither of them acknowledge it aloud for many weeks. They train as normal, all the while, Rey finds it becoming easier to keep Ren out of her head. But sometimes, when she's alone, running or meditating, he'll appear. Sometimes they don't even speak to each other. She knows more than once it's happened while he's been with his men. It's nice, in a way, to be able to observe him while he cannot speak. She doesn't know if Luke knows about these...visions. And she doesn't tell him.

"Is there something we should discuss?" Luke asks one night as he pokes the fire, and Rey feels her heart jump into her throat. She's been here for two months. It's been two and a half months since the Starkiller. On Jakku, she hadn't had much interaction with others, but in the small market, she'd hear talk, pregnant women talking, or women discussing a friend's baby. Most of the women on Jakku didn't know they were pregnant until they were at least half way through the process. It seemed that most of them were afflicted with irregular cycles, just like she had been. But she was so certain now- she had been for longer than she had admitted it to herself.

"I'm sorry." She says, suddenly bursting into tears.

"Shh…" he comes to sit beside her, and wraps his arms around her, like a father cradling a daughter. It's the first time she can recall anyone holding her this way.

"It's his. It's his, and I should hate it- I should hate him, but I don't!" She sobs into his shoulder, and he listens. "I promised that I wouldn't fail you, and I have!"

"No, you haven't." He insists. "Hatred leads to darkness. The fact that you don't hate is encouraging to me."

"And I see him- sometimes, he appears! He appears to me, and neither of us can stop it! I thought he was doing it somehow, but he doesn't lie to me! I'm terrified that he's going to see me and he's going to know! If he doesn't already know!"

"I've suspected as much." Luke nods.

"I know that I cannot be a jedi and be a mother. I know that. But...I need them. I need to be their mother, I can't send them away, I...I...I can't abandon them." She says firmly. "I know that you must be disappointed-"

"I'm not."

"But you'll have to stop training-"

"No I won't. I'm aware that the Jedi had their rules for a reason. But the galaxy was different then. We have to adjust as we go. If you want to keep training, I'll train you." Luke says.

"Why?"

"Rey, before you came here, I'd cut myself off from the force. Turned away so that I could be in peace. Then one day it comes flooding back, and I can't stop it. It's because of your light, Rey. I have to train you. It's the will of the force." Luke explains, and Rey throws her arms around him.

"Thank you! Thank you!" She exclaims, her eyes filling with tears of another kind. She feels as if weights have been tied around her, and now they've been cut away.

"You want to go for a walk, and think things through." Luke observes, and she nods. "Go on then." She smiles at him again, and ducks out of the hut. It's clear out, the sky streaked with stars. For the first time in a long time while she is not meditating, she feels at peace. As she walks, her eyes flicker down to her body, which is so unchanged, and yet...everything has certainly changed. She knows she has gained weight, but honestly, she could stand to gain even more. Luke and Leia and even Poe had told her that she was too thin. She can't help but notice that even her chest has grown, not that it matters. The biggest change isn't something she can see yet. But she is absolutely certain about what is growing within her.

When she gets to the top of the hill, she simply lays down in the grass, and stares up into the sky, her hands folded gently over her stomach. She can feel light radiating from the spot where the tiny being rests already, there's no real hint of darkness in them. Considering their paternity, she should be surprised, but she's not.

She allows her mind to wander back to the Starkiller; Thoughts, feelings, emotions, all running high. She remembers his thoughts, the look in his dark eyes as he had looked at her, kissed her, moved inside of her. That hadn't been Kylo Ren. No, she was sure that in that moment, it had been Ben Solo, unsure of himself and desperately craving love, acceptance, affection. So soon after that, she had seen the man who had been gentle with her, who had worshipped her body, who's name she had cried out in passion and pleasure, murder his own father. Murder himself. But before then, he had let his light show, had poured his light into her.

And oh, what he had left her with.

"Oh Ben…" She sighs into the cool night air, closing her eyes.

"Beautiful." It doesn't startle him any more when he appears, but she doesn't like it.

"Don't talk to me like that." She opens her eyes, and rolls her head to the side to look at him, and instantly wishes that she hadn't. He's shirtless, glistening with sweat. He's been training. And Maker, he looks amazing. "Can you...put on a towel or something?" She feels her face coloring.

"It's nothing you haven't seen before." He says, raising an eyebrow at her. Nothing she hadn't touched before. She briefly wonders if his back is still criss crossed with nail marks. No. Probably not. The marks he'd left on her had long since faded. "You said my name."

"I said Ben's name. You've told me before Ben is dead." She huffs, propping herself up on her elbows.

"Details." He shrugs.

"I just want you to leave." She sighs.

"I-"

"I know. You can't."

"Something is different about you. I don't know what it is." He says after a moment of silence.

"I've been eating more than I ever have before. Gained weight. Gained muscle. Been among people who care if I live or die. It's amazing what that can do for you." She explains quickly, never once allowing her mind to wander to the being inside of her. Because if she did, he would know. And if he knew...well, she didn't want to know what he'd do.

"No. That's not it. Something...inside. A light." His eyes narrow as he thinks.

"Hours of meditation on the light will do that for you too." She shrugs. She looks at him again, forcing herself to keep her eyes on his face. His face is curious, accusing, and she knows she has to distract him immediately. "What happened to your mask? You haven't been wearing it for a long time."

"Nothing." He says defensively.

"That's a lie." She accuses.

"I don't need to hide behind a mask. I'm not a coward." He says, raking his hand through his hair. "Besides. You hated the mask."

"Right. You were trying to please me." She rolls her eyes, and he leans a bit closer.

"If I had you, I'd never stop trying to please you." His voice is fervent, and a chill runs down her spine. "We'd be so good together, Rey."

"We can never be together. You've said it yourself, your Master won't let you go."

"It doesn't have to be that way! Attachments aren't forbidden by the darkside, Rey. You could stay here with me-"

"And you would never really be mine. You'd always belong to your Master." She accuses harshly. "So I can never be yours." He lets out a growl, and before she knows it, he's above her, one leg on either side of her thighs, her hands pinned above her head.

"You belong to me!" He says ferociously.

"I could have. If you'd have come with me. But now I will never be yours. At least never again." She says, and he growls. "We could have had...so, so much." She's glad when he kisses her, because it distracts her train of thought, which was getting dangerously close to one of the only things she really desperately wanted to avoid. The kiss is searing, passionate, possessive. It's different than any kiss they've shared before, and he refuses to pull away until she's trembling and breathless.

"No one else will ever touch you, ever have you like I've had you." He kisses her along the neck, and the shoulder, and she can hardly think. "Say it!" She shakes her head, and he continues his attack on her throat and her collar bone, pulling the skin gently between his teeth until her back is arching up, desperate for closeness. The bond between them was humming, absolutely alive and full of power. "Say it." It's gentler now, and she wants to give in. Who else could make her feel this way? And this kiss...through the force, it's already intense, but in person it's even more, she remembers. If he had actually been there, she knows she would have given in, and it terrified her.

"I...Belong...To no one!" She insists even as his kiss continues down further, caressing her breast through the fabric of her tunic. They're extremely sensitive, and she can't help but moan. "How can this be so…"

"It's right, Rey. You feel it. When we're together, it's right. It's perfect." his body is pressed against hers, and she can feel how much he wants her, and Maker, does it make her want him too! "Tell me where you are. And I'll bring you to me."

"No!" She insists, shaking her head, trying to snap out of his spell.

"Please!" He's almost begging her now. She looks into his eyes, sees the desperation in them. She sits up, and he falls back onto his knees.

"I'll come back to Ben Solo." She closes her eyes, and does everything she can to channel the light. Just as she'd hoped, his image starts to fade. But he's fighting it, she knows, with every ounce of his strength he's fighting it.

"Rey!" His voice is furious, almost crazed.

"Leave me alone!" She snaps, letting out a great surge of light, and he's gone, probably too shocked to attempt to break through the mental barrier she has constructed. She lets out a breath that's almost a laugh, and lays back against the grass again. A quick glance down at her body shows her that there are marks beginning to form where he had suckled at her flesh. "Oh Ben…" She sighs again, allowing herself to run a hand over her still flat stomach. This baby..she'd thought that her purpose was to find Luke Skywalker, and help bring balance. But somehow, everything has shifted with her acknowledgement of the child. A child of the light. A child of the Skywalker blood. A child who would grow up loved and safe, and cared for, she would make sure of that. And with love and nurture, she was certain that this child would do great things for everyone.

She only wished that she didn't have to keep them from their father.


	7. Chapter 7 I Feel It Too

_**AN: Sorry there was no chapter yesterday- Fanfiction was not working for me! So here it is today! Your reviews, follows, and favorites make me smile!**_

She's showing now. While for the first three months she had certainly looked healthier, like she was finally eating enough. But an additional two weeks had done a lot. Her stomach was rounded, and stuck out definitely. The little caretakers who wandered the island had taken to coming up to her and patting her stomach, murmuring something in their native tongue. Luke tells her that they think that the two of them are married, and they both laugh heartily at the assumption.

She tires a bit more easily now, but the training continues. Her child doesn't distract her, or take anything away. Truly, she feels as if her own light has doubled, and grows stronger each minute of each day. She and Luke even spar occasionally now, and though she is a bit quicker, he can still always out maneuver her, but she's starting to catch up to him. She keeps running, keeps her body strong, but she never dares push herself like she once had. No amount of strength is worth risking her child.

And since the night that he had kissed her, she has not seen him again. He's always there though, at the edge of her mind. Luke's tried to teach her everything to keep him out, but he had been right in the beginning. The force bond was too strong to break. But she could keep it at bay. She almost misses him sometimes, but she shakes that off as soon as it enters her mind.

It's treasonous. It's unwanted. But it's there all the same.

It's the longest time they've gone without speaking since the bond had been formed, and he hasn't even tried to reach her. She's almost offended by it. But she has to remind herself that she didn't want him, didn't need him. It would be easier if she didn't feel everything that he felt.

"Rey, you're not focusing." Luke says as the rock she'd been suspending tumbles down the hill again. She growls, wipes her forehead, and tries again. "Maybe you should rest."

"No!" She huffs, gritting her teeth.

"Rey. Don't push yourself. Not today. Not when you're full of anger." He says, resting his hand on her shoulder. She starts, not having realized she was angry until he'd pointed it out. "Anger and hate are food of the darkness."

"I'm sorry." She sighs, letting the rock fall back into place gently. Her hands are trembling, and Luke drapes his cloak over her shoulders.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asks, but she shakes her head. "Alright...I'll leave you to it then. Go on."

"How well you know me." Rey laughs.

"I'm going to fish." He explains.

"Be careful." Rey cautions. She doesn't like how dangerous it looks.

"Right." He rolls his eyes, and kisses her forehead. It's the first time he's ever done it, and Rey embraces him quickly before she starts off. She doesn't run today, she just walks and takes in the air. It's wet, and almost warm despite the rain that falls gently on her skin. She's going back to the highest point of the island. It's her favorite place, where she can think the clearest. Where she can meditate. She reaches her place, and sits, tucking her legs under each other, and she breathes in the light, breathes out the darkness.

The light is dancing around her, focusing on her finger tips, her heart, and her womb.

It swells into her like one of the waves on the small rocky beaches of the island.

It fills her with warmth, peace, even power.

She sees the brightness of the island, but she sees the corresponding darkness too.

She feels-

Pain.

Pain?!

Her hands fly to her stomach, her eyes fly open, but the child is fine. She is fine. She is not hurt...and that means that the pain could only be coming from one place. It doesn't hurt her much, just a slight uncomfortable tingle in her shoulders. But she can feel his anguish, and she has to have him near her, she has to know he's okay- so for the first time she reaches out with the bond, and finds no resistance.

" _Ben?! Ben!"_ She calls, keeping her eyes closed tightly. The pain he feels is terrible, excruciating, and he's not fighting back. He's nearly at the point of blackness, and she panics. " _Kylo Ren!"_ She's screaming into the bond now, and the pain finally fades, but doesn't go away. He aches and trembles, he'll scar, he thinks. But he doesn't respond to her. But he doesn't shut her out either. It's like he's...waiting? So she waits. It feels like an eternity before his voice fills her head.

" _Rey?"_ He asks, like he can't believe it.

" _Do you have many women trying to reach you in your head?"_ The teasing comes from her discomfort and concern.

" _I think I my surprise is well founded."_

" _I...I felt...you were hurting. You were-"_

" _Are you hurt?"_ He asks at once, his voice full of concern.

" _No- no, I'm fine!"_ She insists. " _But you...I thought…"_

" _Thought what?"_

" _I thought you were going to die."_

" _I didn't think you'd care."_

" _I don't!"_ She speaks too quickly, she knows it. " _What...What happened to you?"_

" _I...I displeased my Master."_ He says slowly. " _So he taught me a lesson."_

" _With pain?!"_

" _I deserved it."_

" _No. I felt your anguish, I know that no one deserves that."_

" _Not even me?"_

" _No. Not even you."_ She can almost see the smile tugging on the corners of his lips. " _What did you do?"_

" _I...I was unfocused."_ He says vaguely. " _There are things I have to do. I failed to do them."_

" _Why?"_

" _Why?"_

" _You've never had trouble following his orders before."_ She says almost bitterly.

" _Why do you think?"_ He hisses. " _It's because of you and your light! Your damnedable, poisonous, irresistible light!"_

" _Do not blame me for your pain!"_

" _I don't. I blame myself. I'm not strong enough."_

" _What did he do to you?"_ She asks, reaching out, trying to find where the pain is. It's across his shoulders...Burns? She rolls her own shoulders, trying to shake away the lingering tingling sensation.

" _Lightning."_ He explains, trying to sound indifferent. Rey wants to vomit. She can visualize the scarring that will be forever etched across the muscular planes of his skin, where her own nails had once left red, angry marks- " _You always come back to that. The fingernail marks."_ Blood rushes to her cheeks.

" _Are you...are you alright?"_ She asks once she's forced her embarrassment down.

" _I haven't been alright a day since you've left."_

" _Please, don't."_ She begs, her voice wavering even in her own head.

" _It's the truth. You've gotten into my system, you've become a part of my soul- I already know that if you aren't next to me, I'll-"_

" _Stop!"_ She shakes her head, she doesn't want to think about it. " _I'm leaving."_

" _No- please, don't!"_ His voice is so like it was once, when he had been holding her in his arms...She's frozen.

" _Alright."_ She sighs. " _I won't shut you out. But I'm not going to talk to you either."_

" _Fair enough."_ She keeps her word. She doesn't speak to him, she just stares out over the island, and enjoys the feel of the wind and gentle rain against her skin. In the silence, she finds that she doesn't mind his presence...It's almost comforting. She will have to shut him out eventually, she can't close off her thoughts forever. But for a while, she lets him stay. She lets him stay, and she enjoys it.

And she's ashamed.


	8. Chapter 8 Shadows of the Past

AN: _ **And because I missed my posting yesterday, I have a second chapter for you today! I'm going to be out of town and away from a computer for a week, so I'll probably post another one tomorrow, just so you can have something to remember me by!**_

She stares off the cliffs edge again; the darkness there threatens to pull her in, but she resists it. She backs away, one step, and then a second.

When she wanders around the island, she can't help but let her mind turn to Kylo, to Ben, and the child he'd put into her body. And when she thought of Ben, She'd end up there, looking out over the darkness, thousands of thoughts running through her head. Her baby. His baby. The darkness. The light. She turns and runs back to Luke's house, and finds him already sitting up by the fire and waiting for her.

"Kylo Ren- Ben, he wasn't always dark. You said you felt the darkness growing in him. HOw did it start? Was it in his blood?" She asks, and he gestures for her to sit down. She does, and her hands fold over her stomach. "Will my child one day become Kylo Ren?"

"Ben has always been strong with the force."

"I assumed as much." She nods.

"Strong from the moment he came into existence, before he'd even been born, when he was in my sister's womb, it was clear that the force was strong with him. Leia and I both felt it- and Snoke felt it too." Luke sighs, and Rey feels her spine stiffen. "It didn't help that as soon as Leia found out she was pregnant, everyone was broadcasting it all over the holo; Before he was even born, Ben was in the public eye. Bets were placed about every aspect of his birth; the name, boy or girl, the date, the weight he would be. The war had just ended, everyone was still celebrating. Han and Leia didn't love that he was so in the limelight, but it couldn't be helped. People just wouldn't leave him alone. It couldn't have been easier for Snoke to keep track of everything about the little boy."

"From the time of his conception?" Rey gapes.

"Yes. To some degree, we knew about it in the beginning- or rather, we suspected, Leia and I, even Han knew that there was bound to be someone with an eye on this child, the grandchild of Darth Vader. Leia felt something, a presence, sometimes, but she didn't meditate often, and knowing what I do now, I'm sure that Snoke was subtle enough not to be detected by someone who didn't really know to look for him. If I had been around more, during the pregnancy, maybe I would have been able to sense it. Maybe I could have done something." Luke tosses a twig into the fire. "We didn't know in the beginning, how bad it was. I never expected that Snoke was whispering lies into the boy's mind before he even really knew how to talk. So many lies...So much darkness. Leia tried to chase it out, Han did everything he could to fight the darkness. I tried...but I didn't do enough to chase out the darkness. I didn't know how far gone he was, until I looked into his mind...and you know what happened then."

"Is that going to happen to my child?" She asks, her gentle grip on her stomach tightening possessively. "Will it be pulled into the darkness like it's father?"

"Was I?" Luke asks, and Rey shakes her head.

"No, you, you brought your father back into the light."

"The light can be more powerful than you could ever imagine, Rey." Luke says. "You've seen what your light did to my nephew. He let you go. He treated you with gentleness."

"But why me? My light is no different than yours, than Leia's." Rey shakes her head.

"That's not true, Rey. The force works through all of us differently. Perhaps you were made to balance Kylo Ren, to defeat the darkness in him. Or, maybe, your child will do that. One way or another, this will be the will of the force." Luke sighs.

"I'm afraid. What if Snoke finds out about the child? I...I'm not as strong as Leia is. I don't think I could take it, if I lost everything." Rey shakes her head more violently.

"You're stronger than you think." Luke says, putting a hand gently on her face. "But you won't lose everything. Leia hasn't lost everything. Trust in the force, Rey. You'll understand what I mean."


	9. Chapter 9 He'll Never Know

AN: ** _Hello beloved readers! As promised, here's a chapter! I'm going to be gone for a week, but when I get home, another chapter will be posted! (If I have time I'll post two today- but we'll see!)_**

The first time she feels the baby kick, she is sparring gently with Luke. It's become more difficult as her stomach has become larger, and her center of gravity has shifted. But Luke is patient, slows his own movements down to match hers, and makes sure she is learning correct forms. Their sticks have collided with a powerful crack over her head, and she backs away suddenly, wide eyed and frightened.

"What's wrong?" Luke asks warily.

"I...Don't know. Nothing, maybe." Rey says, her brow furrowing. Her hands drop to her ever growing stomach, concealed under a baggy cloak, and she feels it again. "It's moving! They...They're moving." She feels like she might cry, she's so happy!

"Congratulations." Luke says with a warm smile. But she doesn't really hear them. She sits down on a nearby rock by the edge of the cliff, and stares out the sunset on the water, lost in a world of her own. Her hands rest on her stomach, waiting for the movement to happen again.

"Come on now, please, for me...for mama." She almost coos, and to her delight, the child stirs beneath her hands. Light surrounds her completely, and for the first time she feels the swell of absolute, unconditional love.

It's been four and a half months since Starkiller.

It's been two and a half months since she had acknowledged the life growing inside of her.

She has felt protective of it, concerned for it, curious about it.

But it had never before inspired such feeling from her. Feeling like nothing else in the world would ever matter more than them. That she would die to keep them safe. That though she had never known a parents love, not that she could remember, she was experiencing it now. For her baby.

"What are you staring at?" Her first thought is that she's glad he's behind her. She glances over her shoulder, and takes in his appearance. It's the first time that the force bond had joined them together like this in over a month. She's surprised, because he looks thinner than the last time she'd seen him; oh, he's still bulky and muscular, but his face is slimmer, and the circles under his eyes are darker than ever.

"Sunset." She shrugs, and she prays that he stays where he is.

"A war rages and you're pausing to look at the sunset. Typical." He scoffs, but she can tell that it amuses him.

"There's war, but there is peace too." She says. "Right now I'm enjoying the peace. It won't last forever." He takes a step forward, and she quickly fluffs her cloak out, expertly concealing the expanse of her stomach. Still...if he's too observant, he'll see.

"Your training is going well." He says, looking at her face.

"It is. I've learned much." She nods.

"What do you hope to accomplish, with this...Jedi training?" He asks.

"Balance. I know, the same thing you're seeking. But I'm going about it differently." She says firmly.

"With the light?" He scoffs.

"Yes."

"And you'll kill the sith, will you?" He asks, daring to take another step forwards.

"That's not the jedi way." She shakes her head.

"Then how will you bring balance?" He asks.

"Would you rather I killed you?" She challenges, arching an eyebrow at him.

"Sometimes." he says, his voice so honest it touches something deep inside of her.

"You know I won't do that." She shakes her head.

"Sometimes I'm not sure." He shrugs, and it looks so casual she laughs a little bit. "Maker you're beautiful."

"Don't say things like that to me. Don't lie to me." She growls.

"I thought we discussed this. I don't lie to _you._ What would be the point? I know you can get inside of my head."

"I'm not Beautiful." She shakes her head.

"Believe what you want. But you are." She rolls her eyes. "Does your Master know about this? That we just...appear to each other?"

"Yes. Does yours?" He doesn't answer. "You haven't told him?"

"I don't tell him anything about you unless he asks."

"Oh." Is all she manages. And it's in the silence that follows that one of her worst fears is realized. The child moves. The light surges and shimmers almost blindingly.

"What the hell was that?!" He snaps, looking at her with wild eyes.

"What?" She asks as innocently as possible.

"Don't play stupid. I know you felt that!"

"I felt nothing!" She denies it again. "It must be something near you-"

"No! No, it wasn't! It was light...there's no light here. There is only light with you." His eyes narrow. He takes a step closer. "What are you hiding from me? Is it Skywalker? What is he doing?"

"I'm not- please!" She begs for him to stay away.

"Rey?!" Luke calls out to her from the distance, and just like that he's gone, and she lets out a sob of relief. That had been so close, so very close. She runs into Luke, and he slowly raises his arms to embrace her while she cries.

"I can't ever let him know! He can't ever know!" She repeats like a mantra. He'd said it himself many times. He was darkness. Darkness destroyed everything, but especially the light...and this child was pure light. It's own father could be the one to snuff him out.

The love she'd been feeling doubles, triples.

She'll protect them from everything. Even, and especially, their own father.


	10. Chapter 10 Weaknesses

_**AN: Okay, so, I had a spare minute, so a second chapter it is! Thanks so much for reading, leaving reviews, following, and favoriting! You're my favorites! See you in a week!**_

"You know you have to go back to them." Luke says one morning after Chewy tells them the latest messages from the resistance.

"What?" She asks, looking at him with wide eyes. "I thought...are you sending me away?"

"No, I'm not. Your training isn't complete." Luke says, grabbing her shoulders.

"Then why…"

"Rey...You're pregnant." It's the first time either of them have actually used the word. "You're going to have a child in four months, and you're going to need medical attention. They can give that to you. Once the child is born, you can come back-"

"I'm not leaving my child behind!" Rey insists, her hands folding over her stomach.

"Of course you're not. You're more than welcome to bring them back with you." Luke assures her, and she lets out a breath. "You understand, don't you? That this is best?"

"I do." She nods once, sharply. "I went away an underfed girl, and I'll be coming back a planet, and they have no idea!" She almost laughs. Then a horrible thought strikes her. How would she explain this? How would she tell them? How would she explain why she hadn't told them? Even if she lied, there was always the possibility that the child would be born looking exactly like their father, and Leia at least would recognize that.

It would be easy, such an easy lie to say that he had violated her, held her down and forced himself on her. Who would doubt it, given all that he had done?

But she can't bring herself to consider this for more than a minute, because it makes her sick. He was many things, but he was not a rapist, and she would not make him out to be one.

And her own conscience aside, Leia surely could not take so much more heartbreak.

"She won't be angry with you." Luke says. "Sorry, you were projecting your thoughts again. My sister isn't going to be angry, Rey. She'll understand why you needed to keep it to yourself. Knowing her, she will be happy."

"Maybe. But I don't think any one else will be so understanding." Rey sighs. The child kicks against her ribs, and she's smiling again. Her child never fails to make her smile. It will all be worth it for her child. "Won't you come back with me?"

"Not yet. I have to stay here, for now. But the day will come for me to leave, I know it. But this time, you have to leave without me." He says simply, and Rey nods. He gives her one of his cloaks before she leaves. It's big enough to hide her stomach, which makes her feel safe and secure. If Ren were to appear to her again, this would disguise the child. And when she walked off the ship when she came to the base, this would give her time to tell General Organa first. She hugs Luke one more time, and he kisses her forehead before she leaves, promising to be back. Chewy hugs him too, lifting him off of the ground before boarding and launching the falcon into the sky. It's the first time in months she's been in space, and she finds that she doesn't much like it. She already misses the twin suns shining on her skin, the ocean breezes, and the paternal comfort of the old Jedi. The child shifts largely beneath her skin, as if to say

"Where are we? Here I am, I am with you!"

As soon as the child stirs, she feels Kylo pushing against the barrier she's put up in her mind. It only makes sense. She's felt his pain, so he feels this through the bond. But she hasn't spoken to him in two weeks. Not since his near discovery. And he'd not just appeared to her either, and she was grateful for small blessings.

"Well Chewy, I guess we're going home." He grumbles. "I know. The Falcon is your home." Another growl. "I'm excited to see the Princess too." She can't help but smile at the way he refers to General Organa as the princess. It makes her grin, really. Chewy bellows and Rey smiles. "You can be Uncle, of course you can." Rey can't help but think of another child that had probably called Chewy his uncle. "But I'm not calling him Chewbacca the Second." She teases, trying to push the thought out of her head. He bellows softly. "It is a good name. But not for this one." She smiles softly at him as they make the jump to hyperspace. The tracker Leia had given her blinks more rapidly as they get closer, and her heart beats faster too.

She knows that Finn is awake, she's even spoken to him very occasionally. What will he say when he sees her like this? Will he hate her? Will he even let her meet his Rose? She'd been dying to for months, because she could sense how important the woman had become to him. They'd been responsible for keeping a First Order attack at bay, though the details of how they had done it were hazy.

She thinks of Poe, who she had only really known for two weeks while she was helping get everything settled before she gone to find Luke Skywalker. He had been extremely kind to her, and they had made each other laugh. He had been a true friend, and the one time she had cried over everything that had happened, he had sat silently beside her, and held her hand.

And she thinks of Leia Organa. Who had hugged her so tightly, accepted and trusted her so readily. The Grandmother of her child, whose own son had hated her and turned away from her, had murdered the man that she had, in spite of everything, loved. Luke seemed to think she'd be happy about the news, But Rey wondered if that was possible. How can someone be glad that such a man was passing on his genetics?

But that question was rubbish, because _she_ was glad. Even now, before it was born, she could sense that this child would be important, not only to her, but to everyone. Already she loved it, adored it, would do anything for it. And it wouldn't exist if it wasn't for _him._

"I'm going to go lie down." Rey says suddenly, handing the tracker to Chewy, who nods in assent. She walks back to the small bed, and stretches out on it, running her hands along her stomach which is always most prominent when she is lying down. She lets out a long breath, and focuses on the force swirling around her, around both of them. It's comforting and warm, and it helps heal the pain that the absence of _him_ always seems to cause. And she knows that she's weak, but she gently reaches out into the bond, desperate for just the faintest hint of him. She lowers her defenses only a little, and she senses him there. His surprise is clear; he's been trying for so long to reach her, that the fact that she had come to him of her own accord, in a moment when he'd not even been thinking of her rendered him speechless, and oh, she's glad for it. She doesn't want to fight, which will inevitably come if they speak. She merely craves his presence, like he had after he'd been hurt. And she's weak, she knows, so very weak for coming to him this way.

" _If you're weak, what am I?"_ He asks.

" _Desperate, sometimes."_ She suggests. This bristles him. " _Are you going to deny it?"_

" _No. I don't think I can."_ He sighs. " _Sometimes, I just...I want this."_

" _No, you don't. You want more. Information. My surrender. You're never satisfied by my mere presence."_

" _Are you satisfied?"_ He challenges.

" _Yes."_ She says defiantly.

" _So you're satisfied just with this. No touching, barely speaking?"_

" _...Yes."_

" _Really? When you know how it feels when I'm holding you in my arms? When I'm kissing you? When I'm inside of you?"_

" _Stop…"_ She cautions. " _I'll leave. I will leave."_

" _Because you know I'm right."_ He insists. " _Because you're afraid."_

" _I'm not afraid of you!"_

" _You're not afraid that I'll hurt you. But you're afraid of what you feel for me. You're afraid of what I make you feel."_

" _I'm leaving. This was a mistake."_

" _Don't-"_ She snaps her barrier back into place before he can finish his thought. The baby wiggles under her hand, and she distracts herself by talking to them.

"I'm weak, I know. But I'll be stronger for you, I promise. I'll be the mother that you need me to be, you'll see. I can live without him, but I will never have to live without you, and you will never have to live without me. I love you, and I'll make myself stronger for you." She whispers aloud, and another hum, so much like her bond with _him_ starts to radiate in her. But this one doesn't scare her. It's pure light, and it's beautiful.

And, she tells herself, It's the only thing that she really needs.


	11. Chapter 11 The Truth

_**AN: Helloooo, I'm back! Another chapter for you delightful readers!**_

The Truth

She knows that Leia is waiting for her when they land. She feels her like she only feels the other Skywalker force users. She wraps herself tightly in her cloak, letting it hide her secret at least for now, and walks down the ramp.

"Welcome back." The General greets with a smile.

"Where are the others?" She asks, glancing around the hanger. There are dozens of people milling about, but Finn and Poe are nowhere in sight.

"Out on a mission. Just surveillance. I would have kept them back if I would have known you were coming back." Leia explains. "Well, are you just going to stand there? Come on." She pulls Rey into her arms, and instantly her body stiffens.

"I...Think we need to talk. Privately." Rey whispers, and Leia nods, and gestures for the younger woman to follow her. Her heartbeat is pounding so loudly, she's sure everyone in the base can hear it. She's not even sure where exactly they are. It's a planet, and it's cold, but she'd slept for most of the journey here. She'll have to ask someone...after she talks to the General.

Though Leia is better than most people at hiding her emotions and thoughts, Rey can sense them right now, running high. Concern. Curiosity. Anger. Hope. They make it to a room that Rey gathers must be Leia's private quarters, and as the doors close behind them dread fills her. Leia gets right to the point, pulling the cloak off of her shoulders and revealing her stomach. She'd had to make a new tunic on Ahch-To, with fabric generously given to her by the caretakers of the island, but the loose flowy fabric cannot hide the swell of her stomach from someone who is looking for it.

"Alright. I'm listening." Leia says, lifting her eyes to her young face.

"This...Is your grandchild." Rey breathes, and if Leia is surprised she doesn't show it.

"I see…" Her eyes narrow a bit, and Rey feels her anger rising. "Did he...Did my son-"

"General-"

"I think you can call me Leia, now. And don't spare my feelings. I have to know. Did my son take you against your will?"

"No, Leia. He didn't."

"Oh." Leia looks confused now.

"I...I don't know how to explain what happened. I don't understand how it happened, really. One minute he was interrogating me, and the next I was in his head, and he was in mine, and…" She breaks off suddenly, blushing when she remembers that she's talking to Ben's mother.

"You don't have to be embarrassed." The no nonsense general says, taking her hand gently. "I know how babies are made. I don't need those details. I just want to understand."

"After we...Well, after, he let me go. He told me how to escape. He kissed me so gently...and less than two hours later he killed...He killed his own father. We fought, in the forest, and I could have killed him, but I couldn't. I just couldn't. And ever since then, he's been in my head, or rather, he's trying to get in. And sometimes, he just appears to me, and neither of us understand it. The Force has connected us."

"Does he know?"

"No. He senses something is different. This child...the force is with them. I can already see that they are strong with the force, with the light. But it reads like it's coming from me. That's what Luke tells me. When the child moves, there's a swell of light, and I know that B- that Kylo Ren can feel it. He tries to speak to me when it's moving a lot, I tell him it's because I'm training, but I know he doesn't believe me...I can feel what he feels, and I wonder to what extent he can feel this." Rey sighs, and suddenly feels the needs to sit down.

"Here, take a seat." Leia says, as if reading her thoughts, and Rey takes a seat on the wooden chair. "How are you?"

"How am I?" Rey scoffs. Of all of the questions she's expected to be asked, that had never entered her mind. She hadn't prepared an answer."

"How are you? You're pregnant, you've been mostly alone through it all, and on top of that, the father of your child is deeply tangled in darkness. The human mind can only take so much." Leia says, taking a seat across from her.

"It's been...Hard, sometimes." Rey admits. "I'm terrified that he's going to find out about this...he killed his own father, why shouldn't he kill his child?" By the end her voice has faded to a whisper.

"You'll be safe here with us." Leia promises her. "We'll get you the medical attention you need. I assume that's why you came back to us."

"Partially. Master Skywalker has been very good to me, to both of us. But he said I needed proper medical care, for the child's safety...I couldn't argue with that."

"No, I don't suppose you could." Leia smiles sadly. "A mother's love...well, a mother will do what's best for her child."

"I'm sorry, Leia, I didn't mean to upset you-"

"You haven't."

"Do you...Do you think he's still there? Your son?" Rey asks, not daring to hope for a positive answer.

"I know that he is. I can sense him too. Not to the degree you can, not even half of that. But he's my child. I sense when he's near."

"Has he been near?"

"Once. It was during a space battle. Chewy told you that we had to evacuate two months ago, that's why we're on Hoth now, any way, he was in his ship, he was going to shoot, then I felt him...I felt him stop. He didn't fire. Of course, someone else did, but he knew I was in the ship, and he didn't fire." Leia explains, and Rey thinks back, and gasps.

"That was it- that was what he was punished for!"

"What?" Leia asks, her noble brow furrowing.

"Two months ago, well, I told you I could feel what he feels, or rather, I sense it- two months ago, It was horrible, I thought he was going to die. He told me that his Master was punishing him, because he had things that he had to do, and he'd failed to do them."

"What did he do to him?" The General's voice is strained.

"All he said was...lightening." Rey remembers, a chill running down her spine at the memory of his anguish. Leia curses, and leans her face on her hands. "I'm sorry. I'm afraid that I've made your family...more complex."

"I learned a long time ago that having Skywalker blood goes hand in hand with a complex family. It's not your fault." Leia sighs. Leia takes Rey's hand again, and looks her in the eye. "If I'm going to have a grandchild, I'm glad that you are the mother. You are strong, compassionate, fiercely loyal. If anyone could handle a child of the Skywalker blood, it's you."

"I don't know. I don't even have a last name to give them." Rey shakes her head, and puts her hands on her stomach.

"Use Solo." Leia says, and Rey tilts her head to the side. "Han would like it that way. And so would I."

"Are you sure? I wouldn't want to make you sad, or uncomfortable…"

"I'm sure. Use it for yourself if you'd like. I always wished I could have had a daughter too...but after Ben was born, I wasn't supposed to have anymore children." Leia explains.

"It would be an honor to be a Solo." Rey says genuinely.

"And if you ever need anything...Advice, or someone to talk to, someone who has done this before, you can come to me." Leia insists, and Rey can't help the tears that fill her eyes.

"Thank you, Leia. For everything." She manages to get out, and when the baby starts to stir, Rey takes Leia's hand, and puts it on her stomach. "Your son isn't dead, or gone, ether. I saw him that night. I know him. I don't know if he'll ever come back, but I'll do everything I can to be sure that this child is a child of the light."

"I made mistakes with Ben. I know that now." Leia sighs heavily, still holding her hand in place hoping to feel another kick against her waiting palm.

"I'm sure that every mother feels that way." Rey says, even though she has no real idea.

"Yes. But not every mother's mistake leads to such peril in the galaxy." Leia chuckles. "We don't have to tell anyone about this child's paternity. I'm sure that no one will suspect it. It's actually probably for the best that no one knows. If word gets back to the First Order…"

"Then the child is as good as dead. Either taken to train as a sith, or murdered in front of my eyes. And I _won't_ let either of those things happen. _I won't."_

"I know you won't." Leia nods. "Besides, I think you're right. I can't feel any darkness reading from them."

"I have to tell Finn. And Poe. I have to tell them the truth." Rey says, and Leia nods.

"They can be trusted. I don't know how they'll react...But I have a pretty good idea."

"They'll be betrayed." Rey nods. "I already know this. But they'll be more betrayed if they don't know the truth."

"That's very honorable of you. Now, you'll need new clothes. I'll see what I can find. You're not the first pregnant woman we've had in the Resistance. I'm sure someone has something for you." Rey nods, and pulls her cloak back on. "Oh, dear, you don't have to hide it. You shouldn't be ashamed."

"I shouldn't. But I can't help but feel that I've betrayed everyone, and everything I stand for." Rey sighs. "Still, I'm not concerned with hiding it from the Resistance. I want to hide it from _him._ If he's in my head, he can't see it, but when he just...appears to me, He sees me. He can't see around me, but he can see my whole body. I can't have him seeing this. Once The child is born, it'll be much easier to hide from him."

"Unless he senses that there's another great light in the force." Leia points out.

"Yes...but even then, how will he know that that's his child? You knew Luke and didn't suspect he was your brother, even with the force connection." Rey rationalizes. "By the time he finds out I have a child, If he ever finds out, it'll be far enough in the future that he has no reason to suspect it's his child."

"Right." Leia nods. Rey shrugs the cloak back around her shoulders, and drapes it over her torso.

"It's cold, besides. I'm from a desert planet, you know." She tries to sound light. "Once the child is born, I'm taking them with me, always. I have to go back to Luke to complete my training."

"With a baby?" Leia asks, cocking her head to the side.

"My mother abandoned me. I will _never_ abandon my child." Rey almost snarls. "I love them. I love them so much it hurts. I don't understand...I don't understand how a mother can just...leave their child…" By the end of this, she's crying, and Leia comes to embrace her on pure instinct. "I'm sorry. I don't...I shouldn't be crying about this!"

"You're five months pregnant, young lady. You can cry about whatever the hell you'd like to." Leia says, and Rey laughs through her tears.

"Thank you, for being so calm about all of this." Rey says sincerely.

"The way I see it, you're going to have enough trouble raising this child without me lecturing you. So I'll be there to help, whenever and however I can." And for the first time directed at her, Rey feels a mother's love.


	12. Chapter 12: My Best Friend

_**AN: Hello Readers! Thanks for reading and following and reviewing! You're all fantastic Human beings!**_

She waits for Finn in her newly assigned quarters, private quarters. She had wanted to be treated like everyone else, but Leia had told her that all mothers eventually got their own quarters, a little further back from the action. She was actually a bit shocked to see the number of mothers and children kept here, until someone had explained that they were almost all refugees, not soldiers, in need of protection which the Resistance was glad to offer. As Leia had told her many times, the children were the future of the galaxy; the adults, the aging could do everything in their power to balance the galaxy, but without the children, there was no point. There was no future.

He knocks on the door.

She tries to pull the force through her system to quiet and calm her soul.

She opens the door.

He grins at her.

She doesn't let him hug her.

He frowns.

"Rey?" He asks, and she gestures for him to come inside, and the door slides closed after him. "What's going on? You're acting...weird."

"I know."

"I was surprised that you were back. Thought it would take a while longer to become a Jedi Master!" Finn laughs as he takes a seat on the simple cot. "I almost brought Rose to meet you, but Leia said you wanted to talk to me? Alone?"

"I did. I do." Rey nods. "And you have to promise to listen, to everything I have to say."

"Right. Yeah, I promise." Finn says, looking up at her with his sharp eyes. "What is it?" Rey breathes, and she pulls off her cloak. She puts her hands on her stomach, and Finn's eyes narrow before they grow wider. "What the hell?! Is that- are you? What?"

"I'm...I'm having a baby." Rey confirms. She takes a seat next to him.

"Wha- how- who-what?" He asks, his hands flailing about in exasperation. "Who?"

"Remember you promised to listen to everything I have to say."

"Yeah, Yeah, I did." Finn nods. "Did Skywalker do this to you? That seems like a weird way of training!"

"NO! No, no no no." Rey shakes her head. "Master Luke...He's like a father to me. He's been very good to me."

"Right. Alright." Finn nods. "Then who?"

"His name was Ben." Rey says slowly. "And he was...He was strong with the force, He could see into my mind, and I could see into his...it was like I'd known him for an eternity."

"Does he know? Who is this guy? Where is this guy? I'll make him do right by you!" Finn insists, and Rey is moved by his sweetness.

"No, he doesn't know. He's not here. But his mother is, and she knows." Rey says slowly.

"Who is she?" Finn asks.

"It's General Organa." She says, and he starts.

"What? Nah- no, you said that his name was Ben, General Organa only has one son, and he's- his name is-"

"His name was Ben Solo." She says quietly.

"But now it's…"

"Kylo Ren." Rey finishes for him, and he shakes his head, and jumps off of the bed.

"What the hell!" Finn is pacing now, and all she can do is watch him with wide eyes. "When? So far as I know you only were ever in the same place as him once- how? What would ever make you think- like, damn, how hard can it be to want keep a murderer out of your pants?"

"It was on Starkiller. It was before...before everything." Her face burns in shame.

"But after he took you prisoner, against your will." Finn accuses sharply.

"And before he let me go! He set me free- he told me how to get out!" Rey doesn't know why she's defending him so strongly, except that she has to defend herself, her own dignity.

"And then he killed Han Solo." Finn finishes. "He tried to kill me."

"And then I tried to kill him." Rey says, as if to prove where her loyalties lie. "It was...It was a mistake, okay? I made a mistake. I'm sorry." Fin lets out a breath, and runs his hand over the back of his neck.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said some of those things...I just don't understand." He takes a seat next to her again, leaning so his head rests against the wall. "I really don't understand.

"I wish that I understood. I wish I could explain it, I really do. But I can't. Logically it makes no sense." Rey admits. "But I can't help but think it was meant to happen. This baby...it's going to be important. Somehow. I know it."

"Yeah. Finn Junior, right?" He asks, a teasing glint in his eye.

"I don't know. Chewbacca asked first." Rey replies, and he laughs. "I know this is hard to accept. Hard to understand. All I'm asking is that you...you be my friend."

"I'll always be your friend, Rey." Fin takes her hand. "I mean, I don't think I'll ever understand, but I sure as hell ain't abandoning you."

"Thank you." Rey smiles, and wraps her arms around him.

"I mean, you're never gonna tell him, right?"

"Of course not. No one can know. No one can ever know. Luke and Leia know, and now you, and I'll tell Poe. But no one else is allowed to know where they came from. No one else."

"...Can I tell Rose?" He asks, and Rey looks at him dubiously. "It's just that...She's really important to me, Rey. And you and I...we obviously had been traveling together before we came here. Don't you think that people might think it's you know, mine?"

"Oh. Oh!" Rey blushes.

"I mean, that's actually probably for the best, since we don't want him to know. But I have to tell Rose the truth."

"Of course. You can tell her...If you trust her, I trust her." Rey sighs, and he rewards her with a smile.

"Thank you."

"Of course, when it's born, I think it'll probably be pretty obvious that it isn't yours." She teases.

"Yeah, with two pasty parents it's probably gonna be as pale as the snow outside." He smirks.

"Yeah. Probably." She smiles at him, and Hugs him again. "Thank you, so much for staying and listening."

"I told you, Rey. I will always be your friend. I've got your back. And I know that you've got mine." He smiles. "Right?"

"Absolutely."


	13. Chapter 13: The Unexpected

_**AN: Hello! Here's another chapter for you, because I'm feeling generous today! Now, keep in mind that this is 128% a Reylo work, but there are elements of another ship in the next several chapters. Don't be upset by it. Spoilers, Reylo is the end goal here.**_

She doesn't know what she had been expecting when she told Poe the news. At best she had expected a reaction like Finn's had been. Anger, confusion, and finally acceptance. At worst, he'd never want to see her again, but she knew he'd keep the secret. He would never do anything to intentionally put the rebellion at risk. She had expected yelling, chastisement, disgust, betrayal. But she hadn't expected the tenderness and compassion in his eyes. She hadn't expected him not to say a word until she had finished her story. She hadn't expected him to take her own small hand in both of his large ones.

"Do you know who my father was?" Poe asks, when she's finished, and she shakes her head. "An officer from the Empire, who raped my mother during the invasion of her home world."

"I'm...so sorry." She manages, her eyes growing wide. "That's...terrible. But You know that he didn't...I wasn't…"

"No, I know, this is different than what happened to my mother, that's not the point I'm trying to make." He shakes his head, giving her a sideways smile. "My mother...she was an amazing woman. Strong, protective, loving, intelligent. She taught me everything I know. The fact that my father had done something horrible, that he was a bastard, well, do you think that makes me a bad man?"

"No! No, Poe, you...you're wonderful." Rey says sincerely.

"So it doesn't matter who the father is, or what he's done. That kid...that kid's going to be one hell of a kid, with you for a mother." He says, and she wraps her arms around his neck before she can stop herself, and he wraps his arms gently around her waist. His embrace is warm, comfortable, easy, full of an energy she'd never felt when Finn hugged her, not like anything she has ever known.

"Thank you." She's blushing when she pulls back after much too long. "I can feel the light. But I've been afraid that the darkness...Will it call to them when they're older? Like it did to Ben?"

"You can't think like that now. All you can think of is always doing what is best for them." He says with a shrug.

"I'm trying. Maker knows I'm trying." She laughs. They both lean back against the wall, and sit in a comfortable silence for minutes on end. Rey has never known companionship quite like this. Luke and Leia were her mentors, Finn was constantly talking, which she didn't really mind, and the only other relationship she knew was the one with Ben- Kylo, and though she craved it, and found peace within his presence, she wouldn't go so far as to say it was comfortable. She always had to be on guard. This was easy. This was...nice.

"What will you tell people, when they ask who the father is?" He asks, rolling his head to the side to look at her. She rolls her head to face him too and lets out a huff.

"I'll tell them to mind their own bloody business." He laughs.

"But doesn't that seem...suspicious?" He asks when his laughing fades away.

"I suppose...Finn thinks people will think it's his." Rey smirks.

"I'll be honest, that's what I thought when you made the grand reveal."

"Part of me wants to let people assume...But that wouldn't be right."

"I think he'd probably have quite a few pilots in line to kick his ass for not standing by you." Poe nods. "I mean, if he was, I'd kick his ass."

"Thank you." She smiles.

"You could tell people it's mine." Well, she certainly hadn't been expecting that.

"What?"

"I mean, hear me out. We spent a lot of time together during those two weeks you were here before you went to find Luke. People know that. I could...I could take care of you. Of both of you."

"Why? I mean, Poe, you're not...obliged to do anything for me."

"Rey, you're special. Important. I don't feel obligated to do anything for you. I want to." He says in earnest.

"We barely know each other." She shakes her head.

"Do you really believe that, Rey? We talked a lot during that time. We're so...comfortable together, and I know you feel that. I could be a good father, for your child." He says, taking her hand in his own, and her heart flutters nervously.

"It's not fair to ask you to take responsibility for another man's child."

"You haven't asked me, Rey, I'm offering." He rolls his eyes. "A kid should have parents. You know, no one from my moms family wanted anything to do with her when she decided to keep me. No uncles, no anything. But when I was four, she married this guy, this really great guy, part of the ground force, from the resistance, Kes Dameron. He raised me like I was his own, never made me feel like I was unwanted. Loved me. Taught me how to be a man. I didn't even know he wasn't my birth father until I was seventeen...he always had been my father. And he and my mother...they really ended up loving each he died, She was devastated...when she died, she gave me this…" He pulls a chain out from under his shirt, revealing a simple ring. "Her wedding ring. She said I had to give it to the woman I fell in love with someday. When I found someone who I loved like she'd loved him. Maybe we don't love each other, not like that, but I could be a good father, a good partner. You know about wanting parents. You've told me about Jakku. Just think about it."

"Okay." She nods in spite of the stark feeling of wrong pooling in her stomach. She knows that the wrong is radiating from the bond; the bond that even now is keeping another man's presence dancing along the edge of hers.

"Okay." He nods, and he gives her hand a squeeze. "You know, it's not just because of the baby. I liked you from the moment I saw you."

"Poe…" She cautions.

"I mean it. You're beautiful, and genuine-"

"I'm not beautiful!" She chuckles, and shakes her head.

"You are."

"Not." He rolls his eyes, and puts his hands on either side of her face. Her breathing catches in her throat.

"Then I'll just have to convince you that you're wrong." He leans in slowly, giving her every chance to stop him, but she doesn't. His lips are soft, gentle against hers, no demands or urgency. Just warmth and sweetness. She savours it; she's only been kissed by one man before, and that was so long ago now, it seemed...she can't help but compare them. Poe's kiss is comfort, some sort of sweet lingering on his lips, like a mint of some sort, warmth and promise. His kiss was raw fire, desperation, need, wrong, and right, tasting of him, driving her mad-She feels him in her mind then, and panics- of course she'd let the barrier slip in the middle of this! She thinks of the light, and forces it back up. The battering at the mental barrier increases, and she gasps and pulls away. "Sorry...I'm sorry."

"No, No, don't apologize. Please. Don't. You didn't do anything wrong." She insists, but the pushing in her head is already giving her a headache. "I just...I think I need to lie down. It's been a long day." She says, and he nods in understanding.

"Right, of course. I gotta go check on BB-8 anyways. He needed a little maintenance." Poe says, and goes to the door. "I'll come check on you later?"

"Yeah. That'd be fine." Rey nods, and he smiles once more at her before the door closes between them and she collapses against the bed and opens the bond. "Go away!"

"Who is he?" He growls, his voice sharp and demanding.

"A friend." She says simply.

"Why was he kissing you?"

"Because he kissed me. And I let him." Startling silence. She feels a sting of betrayal shoot through him. "Don't you dare accuse me of betraying you. You can't betray someone you aren't allied with."

"What do you think this bond is, Rey? We belong to each other. It's the will of the Force. I can accept that- I have accepted it, Why can't you?"

"Because it's nonsense! Force bond or not, it's clear that we were never supposed to be together! We don't believe in any of the same causes. We've almost killed each other multiple times. It would be better for both of us if we could just sever this bond and act like proper enemies!"

"You don't mean that."

"Like hell I don't!"

"Rey…" She hates it when his voice becomes so bewitching and soft. Almost tender. "Please, please, don't do that again. I can't bear it."

"I'm a nothing from Jakku with nothing to offer. I'm sure you'll recover from...whatever feelings you think you have for me." She says stiffly. He growls again, and she flinches.

"Never call yourself nothing! You are everything, Rey. Everything. And do not belittle what I feel. I know that you feel it too."

"Don't presume to know me just because of this bond!"

"If you don't feel for me, then why were you thinking of my kiss while you were in his arms?" She freezes. "Even without the bond, you can't deny the connection we have to one another. It was there before I'd even touched you."

"I don't want it. I dont want this."

"I know. And I'm sorry." He sounds genuine.

"Would you get rid of it, if you could? The bond?" Silence. "Answer me."

"No."

"Then you're not really sorry."

"The sith don't apologize."

"And the Jedi don't form bonds with the sith!"

"You're not a jedi."

"I'm training to be!"

"I don't want to fight you." She feels his sigh.

"Then back off, and get the hell out of my head! I just...I need to sleep. I can't think."

"Wait."

"No."

"What was he doing there? You've been alone with...Skywalker, this whole time."

"He...He's local." She explains lamely. "Now please, you've given me a headache. Let me sleep."

"Fine." He growls, and his sudden absence leaves her feeling empty and cold. She slides into the somewhat rough blankets, and drops her head against the too flat pillow. It's still luxurious compared to what she grew up with on Jakku. As she drifts off to sleep, several thoughts drift across her mind.

Poe was a good man. He wanted her.

He had goodness in him, but had done terrible things, yet her whole being craved him.

The child should have a father.

Technically, it did have a father.

But someone else could raise it. Someone else could be father.

And the child would never be alone.

But by being with Poe, did she betray him?

Why did she have to feel that there was something there to betray?!

Why, despite everything that that monster had done, did she feel like she wanted to bury her face in his chest, and listen to the beating of his heart?

Why?

...Why?

….Why.


	14. Chapter 14: An Agreement

_**AN: Thanks again to my readers and reviewers! Don't worry too much guys- when I say this is a Reylo fic, it's hella Reylo, but what sort of story would it be if it was smooth sailing all the way through? My thought process is that Rey is extremely protective of her baby, and considers it the only real family she's ever going to have, and her thoughts are that if Ben could kill his father, he could kill his child. Maybe it's not super logical, since she has sensed the goodness in him, but motherhood is her first priority. She will do anything to keep her child safe, even if that means keeping them a secret.**_

"I'm sorry, Poe. I just...it's too complicated. I can't be with anyone right now. I just can't." She says after a week of intense thought. It would be so easy, so natural to just fall into a relationship with him. And what a dazzling pair they would make; the Resistance's top pilot, handsome, energetic and good, and the Jedi in training who had fought Kylo Ren and lived to tell the tale. But _he_ is still in her head. "It wouldn't be fair to you. I'm sorry, so sorry." He sighs, and takes her hands in his again.

"It's okay." He says. "You're not ready. I get it. I'm a big boy, I can wait. Or I can back off."

"You're not mad?" She asks curiously.

"Mad? Why would I be mad? You can't help it if you don't feel for me what I feel for you." He shrugs. She gets a read of his emotions quickly; no he's not mad, or even particularly sad. A bit disappointed, crestfallen.

"It's not that, necessarily, Poe. I care for you a great deal, I swear I do...But…"

"But you're having another man's child, and you're confused." He concludes for her when she remains silent too long.

"Something like that." She nods. She cant even begin to explain the thing that is the force bond she shares with _him._ And she knows the only way it will go is for one of them to die, and that thought terrifies her. He's a monster, the thought of his death should be comforting, a necessary evil to restore balance. But it cuts her to the bone. "I hope...I hope we can still be frie- no, no, I know, that sounds stupid. I'm sorry."

"It's not stupid. Of course I'm going to be your friend, Rey. And the offer still stands. List me as the child's father. We don't have to be together for that. It'll answer the questions people are starting to ask." He says quickly. She sighs. Ever since her first appointment in the Med bay last week, the rumors had been swirling. SHe'd be shocked if there was someone on the base who didn't know that she was pregnant.

"Aren't you afraid the other pilots will kick your ass for not "doing right by me?"" She teases.

"Nah, I could take 'em." He gives her a mischievous smile. "It's scary, I know. Asking you to trust me this much-"

"I do trust you, Poe!" She insists.

"I just...Imagine a certain person were to see the baby's birth record someday, dated nine months after starkiller, no father. I know it's not likely, but what if?" Poe asks, and Rey freezes. She'd never even considered the paperwork. They'd make copies of it here, she'd have one, the father could have one, and the medics would keep one...but in a rush to evacuate, medical records have been left behind before. What if the First Order went through them? What if _he_ saw?

"Maker. I'd never thought about that." She groans, and pinches the bridge of her nose.

"I hope you understand that I'm not pushing you for anything, any kind of commitment. You'd always be free to be with someone else, go where you want to go. I just want you, and your kid safe and secure." He assures her, and her heart sings with an unknown emotion. "And I promise, I won't even have anything to do with the kid, if that's what you want...But if you'd let me, I'd be happy to help out."

"Poe, you are the kindest, most wonderful man…" She sighs, wiping a tear from her cheek.

"Can you say that into BB-8's recorder, so I can play it back for Finn?" Poe asks deviously, and Rey laughs.

"In another life...I think we would have been good for eachother. If it wasn't for Starkiller…"

"Don't say it. I know." He says firmly. "So what do you say? Let me be your baby daddy?" He asks with a teasing lilt to his tone.

"If you're really okay with it…" She says cautiously.

"If I wasn't, I wouldn't have offered." He shrugs.

"Okay." She nods.

"Okay?" He's surprised.

"Yes. I've been thinking about _everything_ you said last time you were here. A child should have parents. Two when they can. Maybe with the two of us, they won't end up messed up and alone." She says, and he wraps his arms around her. She returns the hug, relishing the comfort that his presence brings.

"Well, I'd better be going. I promised General Organa I'd help out with some flight training." He says when he pulls away.

"The mighty Commander Dameron, training lowly recruits?" She asks with a teasing tone.

"Mmm. In a way it's a punishment. Remember that last space mission?" She nods. "I may or may not have taken out a First Order ship...or two...When commanded not to."

"Poe!" Rey rolls her eyes while she laughs. He shrugs, and holds out his hands palms forward in surrender.

"I know, I know, reckless. But it's fine. I don't mind training other pilots. We need them to be the best they can. And who better to teach them than the best?" He asks with a faux superior air that makes her laugh even harder. "Alright, I'm going." The door opens.

"Poe, wait." Rey says, and he turns back to look at her.

"Yeah?"

"I know you said I'd be free to be with anyone else. But I want you to know that I won't be. If I were going to be with someone, I'd choose you. But You know that I can't. But, if you find someone-"

"Then I should be happy with them, yadda yadda, I got it." He's grinning goofily at her. "Thanks for letting me know."

"Of course." She says, and he gives her a nod before he goes. She lets out a trembling breath, and sinks down onto the floor, deciding to meditate for a while if she can. The light surrounds her like a blanket, warming her from the inside out. The edge of darkness that _he_ creates in her mind is washed clean, and the child stirs, making the force hum happily. She loves moments like this, where it is just the two of them, living and breathing as one body, surrounded by the force. For now, her child is absolutely safe. Growing, healthy, completely normal, according to the medics. She can protect her so easily.

She knows it will not always be that way.

But having Poe at her side just might make it easier.

Still, she can't shake off the guilt that lingers after agreeing to Poe's offer. And the worst part is that she's not sure if she's guilty for involving Poe, or for allowing another man to take credit for, and raise _his_ child.


	15. Chapter 15: Love Hurts

_**AN: Another chapter! This story is going to be pretty long...sorry if that's not your thing!**_

Rose has become another true friend. She never lets Rey go to her appointments alone, which Rey is extremely grateful for. She's let Poe, Leia, even Finn go with her before, but Rose is by far the most comfortable with them. Perhaps because she doesn't mind seeing Rey's entire stomach, while that makes Finn uncomfortable, gives Poe a strange sort of energy, and makes Leia radiate a sharp aura of regret for things past. Rose pushes past the initial disgust she had felt at the news of the origin of the baby when Finn tells her that he trusts Rey with his life. So she does too.

And now when she looks at Rey, she sees a friend. Her only female friend, since the tragic death of her sister in the weeks after Starkiller. And Rey sees what it can be like to have a female companion near her own age. There hadn't been the opportunity for such a frivolous thing on Jakku, and the girls nearest to her age were all at least five years older than she was, and all of them had only had one real goal in mind: survival.

She and Rose had plenty of food; tasteless rations, mostly, but more than enough to keep the pang of hunger from their bellies. So they could talk about other things. Rose talks about Finn. Rey talks about Jedi training. Rose tells her about her sister. Rey tells her about growing up alone on Jakku. They talk about the baby. They talk about most everything. But Rey never talks about _him_ , and she never asks.

"So, have the two of you thought of any names yet?" Rose asks one night when they're eating with Finn and Poe while BB-8 is rolling around the table.

"I told you. Chewbacca The Second." Rey says with a smile.

"I thought we agreed on BB-9?" Poe asks, and she gives him a good natured shove as BB-8 chirps in approval. It was amazing how much less attention she got once rumours that Poe was the father of the child had spread through the base. Before, people constantly were whispering about her, and staring at her. She could feel their curiosity and disdain radiating through the force. After all, she was new here. She could be having anyone's baby. But Poe was well liked, well trusted. Any child of his was a welcome addition. People accepted it as a fact, and moved on. She was glad.

"Seriously though- you're like, what? Twenty eight weeks pregnant, the doctors said last time, right? I mean, that kids gonna pop out like, any time." Rose says, and Finn grimances. "Oh chill out, i'm just talking about a birth."

"Excuse me for not wanting to think about my best friend popping a human being out of her...lady parts." Finn stammers, and everyone else at the table begins to laugh. Even BB-8 sounds amused.

"Oh, I don't know Rose. I want it to be something...special. As special as they are." Rey explains, putting her hands on her stomach.

"It'd be easier if we could find out the sex." Poe says. Of course, that technology did exist, it was ancient, and not that complicated. But it was an unnecessary expense for the Rebels.

"I don't want to know anyways. I'd rather be surprised." Rey shrugs.

"What about the last name? Is it gonna be a Dameron, or a Solo?" Finn asks, and Rose gently elbows him. "What?"

"Oh, uh...Solo, I think." Poe says uneasily.

"Dameron-Solo." Rey corrects, and Poe looks genuinely surprised. "You've done a lot for us. It's the least I can do. If you don't mind."

"No, I don't." He sounds honored, and she sighs in relief.

"Well, at least that's settled." Rose smiles at her.

"Yes. Settled." Rey repeats with a half smile. She was beginning to feel settled. She knows that they wouldn't stay at this base forever. Eventually the First Order would find them, they would fight, they would find a new base, they'd move on. But for now, she feels at home here. Life has taken on a simple sort of normalcy. Bi-weekly appointments, because the doctors want to carefully monitor the growth of the child, because she had been so malnourished for so long, and because it was somehow different to any other child they'd dealt with. Three meals a day, to be eaten in a mess hall with whoever she wanted as companions. Meetings with the leaders to discuss the goings on. The gentle hum of the bond between her and her child. The pull to open her bond with _him._ But she's been so strong for two months. And the stronger she gets with the light, the less he's appeared in person. She hasn't even seen him since she was on Ahch-To. She presses alongside the barrier in her mind suddenly, to feel if she can feel his presence. He's there, but he's distant, not paying attention to the line between them. She mentally leaps away, and launches herself into conversation with the others at the table. When the meal is finished, She feels his presence along the bond, and she knows that he _knows_ that she had touched it, nearly brought the wall down. She shivers.

"Are you cold?" Poe asks, and before she can shake her head, he puts his thick winter coat over her shoulders.

"Don't you need it?" She asks.

"Nah. Going flying, remember? Gonna have to suit up." He says with a wink. "You keep that safe- you know, away from Finn. He's got an affinity for stealing my jackets."

"One time." Finn rolls his eyes, and BB-8 chirps at him before following Poe out. "Well, I gotta be off too. General Organa wanted to see me. I'll see you both later." He kisses Rose's cheek, and she smiles at him.

"Well, I've gotta free afternoon. What do you say we go to your quarters and do nothing together?" Rose asks when the boys have walked away.

"You know, I'd really like that." Rey says with a smile. She pushes herself up using the table, and arches her back. "Better."

"I can't believe his jacket is so big on you." Rose giggles, pinching the extra fabric draped around her and flaring out from her body.

"Well, it's too big for him." Rey shrugs. "Other than my stomach, I'm not exactly huge."

"Your stomach isn't huge, it's cute!" Rose insists.

"Right. Let's see how cute I feel when I hit thirty nine week." Rey says, and Rose laughs. The walk down the corridors in relative silence.

"So, what's going on with you and Poe anyways?" Rose asks suddenly. "I mean, like, you're not together, right? But you're going to use his last name for baby Rose?"

"Now you're campaigning too?" Rey asks, hoping to change the subject.

"Eh, I'm tired of calling it _It._ But don't avoid my question! Come on, this is what girl talk is all about!" Rose says animatedly as she grabs Rey's arm. "What's going on? You know I don't tell anyone anything you tell me."

"Even Finn?" Rey asks dubiously.

"Not even Finn. Girl talk is sacred." Rose crosses her heart. "Now spill!" She insists when they get into Rey's compartment.

"Nothing is going on out of the ordinary, Rose. Sorry to disappoint you." Rey sighs.

"I know that's not true."

"Look, Poe kissed me once, and I told him I couldn't do it. Since then, he's been nothing but a friend. A good friend. Using his name for the baby really is the least I could do for him." Rey explains, taking a seat.

"So he has kissed you!"

"It was once, and it was two months ago." Rey insists.

"Well how was it?!"

"Fine." She shrugs.

"Just fine? But he's so cute!" Rose insists.

"I know. He is. He's a good man. But I can't...I just can't." Rey shakes her head. "He deserves someone a lot better than me. He deserves someone who can really, truly love him." Rose nods, and takes a seat beside her before taking her hand.

"He's still in your heart, isn't he?" Rose asks quietly.

"What?"

"Him...the... _father_. He's in your heart." Rose says. It's more than that, much more complicated than that, but Rey can't bring herself to try to explain it. So she just nods. She expects judgement. She expects rejection. "Do you love him?"

"No." Rey says, shaking her head. "I'm...he's...complicated."

"Understatement of the millenium." Rose chuckles. "I know you don't like to talk about it. I...Shouldn't have brought it up."

"No, It's okay. I don't really mind." Rey says, and to her surprise, she doesn't. She hasn't talked about him for a long time. She barely lets herself think about him. Today she'd done it more than once. What was wrong with her? "I mean, I don't really know what love is. Not romantic love. The first time I ever really felt love at all was when I realized I was having a baby...and without him, there's no baby, and I can't even imagine a life where there's no baby."

"There has to be good left in him." Rose suggests suddenly. "Right? You had to have seen it that night."

"I did." Rey nods. "But he...I don't know how much there is. It might be gone." She picks up her pillow, and wraps her arms around it, letting her chin rest on it, closing her eyes. "But I don't think it is." she lets out a long sigh, and opens them. She starts, and clutches the pillow closer. He's sitting there, just out of arms reach.

"What? What is it?" Rose asks, and Rey thanks the stars that she doesn't ask if it's the baby.

"I need you to leave. Right now, please." Rey says, and Rose looks a little bit hurt. "I promise I'll explain everything later, please?"

"O...Okay." Rose nods, and gives her hand a squeeze. "I'll see you."

"Right." Rey nods, and Rose leaves. "Well, we're back to this."

"I guess." He says, his dark eyes taking her in. "It's been a long time."

"I know." She looks at him. He's wearing his robes, and he actually looks a little better than the last time she saw him. His hair is neater, his skin less pale, but the bags under his eyes are still dark. "You look tired."

"You're wearing a man's jacket." Rey flinches at his tone. "I didn't mean to upset you."

"No. It's alright." Rey shakes her head.

"This man, with the jacket, and the...kissing, last time. Do you love him?" He asks, his voice almost pained. She should lie. She should say she does. But he looks so broken… so sad…

"No. I don't" She looks down. "And he only kissed me the one time." She doesn't know why she adds that last detail. It's none of his business. But it makes his lips tug up in the corners. ANd her heart starts to hammer in her chest. "You look miserable."

"I am miserable."

"Why?"

"Because you're not here." He says simply, and she just blinks several times.

"Don't. Don't start that again. Please."

"You know it, you have to know it too." He insists, tugging through his hair with his fingers. "The force...it's flowing between us, can't you feel it?"

"Yes." She whispers. "But it doesn't change anything."

"It changes everything! If you can feel it too, please, there's nothing I wouldn't do to have you with me!"

"Will you come home? To your family?"

"No."

"Then you won't do _anything,_ will you?" She accuses.

"Why should I have to sacrifice everything?" He asks.

"Because I'm not the one running around with murderers!" She scoffs.

"We're trying to bring balance!"

"You're killing innocents! Mothers and children!" She growls. "Creating orphans, and widows!"

"You don't think the rebels are doing the same thing? When they strike- do our officers not have wives and children?" He asks, and she starts. She's not thought of that- it's just never crossed her mind. "War is hell, Rey."

"Then why don't you end it?" She accuses.

"It's more complicated than that. It's gone on for too long now. There can be no cease fire."

"There could be. But you leaders are all so stubborn!" She huffs. "It's about compromise! And none of you are willing to compromise anything!"

"The Supreme Leader will accept nothing less than absolute surrender." He says, and she rolls her eyes.

"This is why we'd be no good together. Everything comes back to a fight. Everything comes back to your loyalty to your _Supreme Leader."_

"Everything is you." He insists.

"Would you leave the apprenticeship of the "supreme leader" for me?"

"It's more complicated than that."

"That means you wouldn't."

"You don't understand!"

"Then by all means, do explain it to me!" She scoffs.

"Open the bond." he says.

"No."

"I just...I want to to show you what I mean." He sighs, and he's raking his fingers through his hair again. She hates it when he does that. She wants to do that. What? "Please."

"...Fine." She says, and he stands to come closer. "No- stay where you are. Don't...it's already too much." He sighs, and sits back down. She takes a deep breath in, and lowers her defenses just enough to feel him in her head. It's intense and after so long without him, it almost feels like coming home…"Alright, alright, what do you want me to see?" She asks, hoping he won't notice the rapid beating of her heart.

She gasps when her mind becomes alive with his memories. A boy who feels abandoned, his father has been gone for six months, his mother is at the senate again...a voice comes to him through the force...an adolescent at the jedi temple, never accepted by his peers, they all think he's spoiled, privileged, only there because of his bloodline, and the same voice comes to him...His Uncle Luke stands above him with his lightsaber blazing, the ultimate betrayal...He follows the voice. He leaves himself behind. No one will hurt him like that again. His Master welcomes him with open arms. Teaches him, keeps him, seems to care for him...They've tried to kill him. His master never did. His master has inspired loyalty. Rey can't take it anymore. She shakes her head, tries to push him out, but he won't let her. He holds tighter to the bond.

"Enough!" She cries, and he relents a little, but it's still too much. She fights back. She forces her own memories into his head. His lips the first time they brushed against her own. His hands trailing up and down her clothed body, eliciting pure pleasure. His mouth on her neck, on her breasts, on her...He let's out a primitive growl, and she smiles in satisfaction as the barrage of memories ceases. She's less pleased when he gets closer to her. She holds the pillow tighter in her fingers, and he leans over to kiss her. And damn it all, she lets him.

He's gentle as if sensing that she doesn't want him to touch her, he keeps his hands on her cheeks, and she notices he is wearing his gloves. But his mouth is...full, soft, inviting, familiar. The bond is humming again, absolutely alive. He pulls back, and she makes a sound of displeasure.

"You were only thinking of me." He says, resting his forehead against hers, a few black tendrils of hair falling in her face.

"Yes." She breathes.

"I need you." He says, his voice almost desperate.

"I...can't." She shakes her head, and feels the tears building in her eyes. "I- I'm sorry."

"Please. _Please."_ His voice is shaking. His hands are trembling. His eyes are closed, waiting for another rejection.

"I…" She sighs, and tries to blink away her tears, but it's in vain. She's been crying a lot more recently. "I…"

" _Please."_ He begs again. "I need you. I need your _light_."

"M-my light?" She asks.

"I don't know what it is, but when you're here...In the bond, or in person...You make me...Maker, Rey, you make me…" She can't help but think it's almost adorable to see him at a loss for words.

"D-do you...do you love me?" She asks tentatively, and now it's her voice shaking.

"Oh Rey…" He sighs, pressing his lips to her forehead, her cheek, and finally her mouth. "If only you knew just how much…" She grabs onto his hands, cold and hard in their black leather, and she kisses him again. The pillow starts to slip down. She starts to panic, and pulls away.

"Sorry! I'm sorry!" She says, closing her eyes.

"Did...Did I do something wrong?" He asks, his voice bewildered.

"N-no. Not this t-time." She shakes her head.

"Then why-" There's a knock on the door, and with that, it's broken. He vanishes into thin air. She's left alone and crying.


	16. Chapter 16: Who Was He?

AN: ** _Another chapter for my lovely readers! All of your questions will be addressed within the story in due time, I promise!_**

"Rey? Rey, you in there?" Finn's voice is muffled by the door.

"Y-yes." She calls, her voice still trembling.

"Is everything okay? Can I come in?" His concern is plain to hear.

"Yes." She calls after a moment's consideration. The door slides open, and when he sees the state she's in, he sits beside her, and pulls her into his arms at once.

"Hey- hey, it's okay." He says, holding her tightly. "Rose said you sent her away really suddenly- you were acting strange. She was afraid something happened, with the baby or something. What's wrong?"

"Everything." Rey says simply. He contemplates this for a minute, and then nods.

"That's fair." She wipes her eyes, and lets out a shuddering breath.

"D-do you know where Le-er, General Organa is?" Rey asks.

"She went to her quarters after the meeting. Said she needed a breather. Man, some of those commanders can be a real pain in the ass." Finn laughs. "Come on, I'll walk you there." He stands up, and helps her as well. He keeps her hand tucked in his, and she's grateful. She needs something to anchor her here.

"I thought I told you to stop taking my hand." She teases as they walk out into the hall.

"I was never great at listening to commands. Just ask the First Order." He teases, and she tries to smile at him. "Hey, thanks for being so nice to Rose. She thinks you're great."

"Oh, You don't have to thank me for that. I like her."

"She doesn't have a lot of friends. She says it's because she's awkward. But I don't think she's that awkward. But my experiences with women are pretty minimal." He admits.

"Well, I think we're all pretty...awkward. It's probably why we all get along." She explains.

"Probably. Sounds about right." He nods. "You're like… the weirdest one though. All that crazy force stuff...It's insane, but like, in a really cool way."

"Thanks...I think?" Rey cocks her head at him.

"It was supposed to be a compliment. I'm not great at those either though." He shrugs.

"Yeah, who knows why I even keep you around." She half smiles this time, and he feigns hurt.

"Oh, now you've hurt me!" He laughs when he can keep up the charade no longer. When they make it to Leia's rooms, he gives her one last hug. "You sure you're alright?"

"Yes. I'll be fine. Thank you, for walking me." She says, and he nods.

"Yeah. Anytime." He winks awkwardly at her, and she laughs and knocks on the door. It slides open, and reveals Leia standing on the other side.

"Rey, come in." She says, standing back and closing the door behind both of them. "Is everything alright?"

"Yes...No." Rey admits, shaking her head.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Leia asks, gently brushing the younger woman's hair out of her face.

"He...He appeared to me, again." She says, and Leia takes a deep breath. "He told me...he said he... _loves_ me."

"Oh?" Leia asks, taking a seat, and gesturing for her to do the same. "And do you...believe him?" Rey bites her lip, and her brow furrows.

"I...he wasn't lying to me. He really thinks he loves me...but I don't know that he...knows what love is. I don't even know what love is." She sighs. "He showed me things...his childhood. Showed me memories… For so long, he felt so alone."

"I know." Leia nods as a look of regret passes over her face. "I made mistakes. I thought...I really thought that I was doing everything _for_ him. I was rebuilding the galaxy, I was trying to make it safe, so that he would have a bright future. I spent time with him, of course. I tried to set aside times to have him with me every day, to read to him, play with him. But the boy needed his father, and Han was...Han, about it."

"What does that mean?"

"He was always...wary, of the force. He grew more comfortable with it, as time went on, but he was never easy with it. And from the time Ben was two or three, he really started to show signs of being quite strong with the force. Stacking blocks without using his hands, running unusually fast, jumping unusually high, knowing what someone would say before they said it. It scared the hell out of Han, having a son he couldn't….relate to."

"So he just...left?" Rey gapes at her.

"No, not at first. He tried. He really tried- and when Ben was really little, a baby, and a toddler, Han was his favorite. They were inseparable...Han used to hold him on his lap in the Falcon, and when they went into Hyperspace...Oh, Ben used to laugh so hard-Actually…" Leia stands, and goes over to her simple wooden nightstand, and pulls out a small, folded photograph. "Take a look at that." She offers it to Rey, who's jaw goes slack while she looks at it.

First there was the man she'd met, Han, looking much younger, and he was undeniably handsome. She could see why the young princess of Alderaan had been so attracted to him. He's in the driver's seat of the Falcon, lounging easily and he's smiling so easily. In his lap...is a little boy with wild dark curls, and a chubby face. He can't be more than three, he's so small. He's smiling so big that he has crinkles around his little dark eyes. He's absolutely darling and innocent. And yet, when he'd grown up, he'd become...he'd become…

"Han just couldn't cope when Ben got older. He couldn't even discipline him like a normal child without Ben having a rather...extreme force reaction. It wasn't his fault, it was just...it was the way that his emotions manifested themselves. That was one of the reasons we had to send him to train with Luke. He had enormous power, obviously far beyond my own, and He needed to learn control. I had taught him what I knew, but I'd never trained. I'd worked with Luke a little, before I'd married Han, just so I could understand the power I had, but I'd stopped when I married him and became a senator." Leia lets out a long breath. "Sorry, I was talking about Han and Ben."

"It's okay. I don't mind."

"Well, The older Ben got, the less he and Han had in common. Han couldn't use the force, and Ben didn't understand why not. Sometimes I think Han felt a bit, left out. Being the only one who wasn't force sensitive. As Ben got older, Han would discourage the force, try to teach him to use his hands...He taught him how to fly. Taught him how to repair a ship. The Falcon...it was their special place. They'd fight, then Han would knock on his door, and ask him to help him out with something in it. They'd go, they'd come back, they'd be laughing...When Han lost the Falcon, that was the last straw for Ben. He felt like his father had abandoned him completely. Han and Chewy moved mountains trying to get it back, but they never could find it. And Ben never forgave his father." Rey wishes she weren't crying. She always wishes that these days. She'd cried a lot when she was very young, when her parents had first abandoned her, and then one day she'd decided not to cry over it ever again. But now, in the last seven months, she's cried enough for a lifetime. "You said...You said he appeared to you. Did he see…" Leia gestures to her stomach, and Rey shakes her head.

"He appeared just after I'd picked up a pillow." She sighs in relief again. "But I...I don't. Leia, how can I hide this from him forever? He...how can he not know already?"

"Because he's a man, and men are idiots." She shrugs. "And you've been trying so hard to hide it."

"I just...He knows so much. He feels me, but he doesn't feel...It's stupid, I don't want him to know. He can't know. You agree with that. But there's such...such a pull. If he hadn't gone...If Finn hadn't come, I don't know how I would have kept from telling him." She shakes her head. "And what if the kid comes out a little boy, who looks just like this?" She holds up the photograph, and puts it into Leia's hands. "How can I not think of him every time I look at my child? How can I ever be rid of him?"

"You can't, sweetheart." Leia shakes her head, and glances down at the baby. "You're never rid of the people who have affected your life. They stay with you. Some in memories, and others in your heart."

"In my heart." Rey remembers that Rose had asked her if the father was still in her heart.

"Han, Luke, Ben, Chewy, my adopted parents, you, that baby, I keep all of you right in here." Leia taps her chest, and takes Rey's hand. "And it's okay if you keep Ben in your heart too. See, the heart never cares what the sort of person is...that's all in the mind. The heart holds onto all of the good, and locks it away."

"How are you so good at explaining things- at comforting?"

"I've been doing it for myself for many years." Leia says with a sad smile. "What about Commander Dameron? Is he in your heart?"

"He is. But it's not...it's not romantic. It's not like that. Not for me." Rey sighs. "It would be easier, so much easier if it was."

"You can't help who you love. Trust me, I tried not to love Han. That man...he drove me crazy." Leia shakes her head with a slight smile.

"I know...I just wish I could love him. He deserves it, he's been so kind, and because he's been so kind, everyone else has been so kind to me. I want...I just want everyone to be happy." Rey sighs, and rubs her hands over her face. "My life on Jakku was...horrible. It was living day to day, never actually having enough to eat, or drink, just enough to get by. And it was so horribly lonely. It was miserable, but it was simple, and I knew what to expect from it. I knew how to live it. The only unexpected things that happened were good things; discovering something that would give more portions than expected...Since this thing, this force has awakened inside of me, I haven't ever known what to expect."

"Would you change it?" Leia asks, and Rey thinks on it.

"No. I wish I could say that I would. But I wouldn't."

"If you like, I could tell you stories about him- about Ben. About what he was, before." Leia offers, and Rey's lips twitch upwards.

"Yes. I'd like that very much."


	17. Chapter 17: There Has To Be

_**AN: I wasn't going to make a habit of posting so often, but I'm just so close to being done with the story, I guess I'm eager to just get it all out there! Thanks for Reading!**_

"It's itchy." Rey grumbles, lightly trailing her fingernails over the taut skin of her stomach, desperate to relieve some of the sensation.

"That's normal." The doctor says with a knowing smile. Rey knows from the last several months of appointments with this doctor, that she has three children of her own, all grown and fighting in the resistance. "The skin is pretty stretched-"

"Obviously." Rey gently taps her fingertips on the pale pink marks that have formed on her sides. "How can I get any bigger?"

"You're really not that big." Poe offers with a half smile, and she rolls her eyes.

"I'm huge!"

"Actually, you're still a little on the small side." The doctor says as she flips Rey's shirt back down over the skin of her stomach.

"How is that possible?" Rey groans, and Poe gives her a hand to pull her up into a sitting position.

"We've been a bit concerned about it since the beginning, with your history of malnourishment. We were actually quite surprised that you had managed to conceive at all, with the information we had about your history of irregular periods." The Doctor admits, and Rey blushes, wishing that Poe hadn't heard that particular detail. "Baby Dameron-Solo is a bit of a medical marvel."

"Yeah." Poe nods with a soft smile when it's clear that Rey can't think of anything to say.

"Alright. Everything looks good here, despite the size. We have no reason to suspect anything but a healthy baby." The Doctor says with a satisfied smile on her lips. "I'll just give you two a minute." She leaves, and Rey looks at Poe apologetically.

"Sorry." She says, and he shrugs.

"Eh. I have a mother, I know what a period is." Rey blushes again, and he chuckles. "You don't have to be embarrassed around me, Rey."

"I'd have been embarrassed if she said that in front of Rose." Rey admits. "But thanks."

"You know, you're really not huge. You're still beautiful." He says, and she smiles softly at him.

"Flatterer."

"I can't believe you don't see it." He chuckles, and takes her hand to help her off of the exam table. She doesn't let go of his hand as they make their way out of the exam room and through the med bay.

"I can't believe you put off your flying time to come to this appointment." She says. "You didn't have to. I know you're busy."

"I told you, I was going to be there for you as much as you wanted me to be." He insists. "And it's sort of fascinating, really."

"It is." She nods.

"Come on. I'll walk you back to your room before I go on my rounds." He says, and she nods again. "So, you thought up a name for the little Miracle yet?"

"No, not really. Nothing seems right to me." She sighs.

"That's alright. You don't need to have one yet." He says.

"What do you think? Do you have any names you like?" She asks.

"I don't know if that's my place." He says warily.

"I would like to know, if you've thought on it any." She says.

"My mother's name was Shara Bey. I've always liked it." He tries to sound casual.

"Shara bey...It's pretty." Rey says, and he smiles. "If it's a boy, I was thinking of calling him Han, or Luke. Maybe even Ben, but, I don't know...I'm almost afraid that they'll be haunted by what their namesake was."

"You'll think of something right for them. I know it." Poe says, and when they're outside of her door, he puts his hand on her stomach, feeling the gentle movements of the baby that rests there. "Active today, huh?"

"Very. Maybe they'll tire themself out and I'll actually be able to sleep well tonight." She laughs until he leans forward and kisses her forehead, making her gasp. He leans down, and brushes his lips against hers just once, and then he looks her in the eyes.

"I'll uh, I'll see you at dinner." He says, backing away from her slowly. "Alright?"

"Y-yes." She nods, and dashes into her quarters quickly, her pulse racing. She sinks down to the floor, not caring that it'll be a pain to get off of it later. The kiss had felt wrong; it had been nice, no doubt, but it had been wrong. Her whole body is trembling, her heart is beating almost out of her chest. It was the first time in months that she had been physically close to someone like that. The last time that _he_ had appeared, he had kissed her, but knowing he wasn't really there made it different. She did crave closeness, so why did it feel so wrong when she had finally recieved it?

" _Because you don't love Poe. You don't want him to hurt because of you!"_ Her mind screams at her, and she wants to cry. To scream her throat raw, and weep. Why couldn't she just love him? Being with him would be as easy as drawing breath, being with him would be comfortable, and warm, it would be sweet kisses, and loving whispers in her hair, in her ear. She can see a whole life with Poe, stretching out invitingly before her.

Nights spent wrapped comfortably around each other, her hand resting on his heart.

Meeting him in a hangar when he'd finished a flight, him scooping up a curly haired child, spinning them around, and then greeting her with a kiss.

Laughter.

Happiness.

Warmth.

Family.

Everything she'd ever desired during her life on Jakku, so easily within reach, and she couldn't bring herself to grab it.

Because of _him._

In that moment on Starkiller, it had been right. It had been everything. She had felt loved, wanted, needed, desired, even beautiful. It was from that moment, from that incredible moment she'd shared with him, that her bond with the force had awaken. And she had become more than she had ever dreamed she could be. Stronger than she had ever dreamed she could be. It was because of him, because of Ben.

And she was sure that the awakening of the force had been the only reason she had been able to conceive a child at all. The doctors were stunned by it, unable to explain it at all. And though she hated to use the excuse that he used so often, she knew that this child only lived by the will of the force.

And if the force had brought together the two of them, darkness and light, perceived good and evil, there had to be a reason.

There _had_ to be.


	18. Chapter 18: Unforeseen

_**AN: Okay, okay I really wasn't going to post this today, but I HAD to, because IT'S SOMETHING WE'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR and it'll answer a BIG question!**_

She moves through the lightsaber forms carefully, the blue light glowing in the night. Her movements are slower than ever before, as she has to account for her still growing stomach, but she makes sure her forms are meticulous, hitting each mark with precision.

"You should be resting." Finn calls from the door of the mostly deserted hangar. She glances over her shoulder at him, and blows a bit of hair out of her face with a sharp breath.

"I took a nap this afternoon." She huffs.

"But shouldn't you be taking it easy? I mean, you're like...pop any day huge." Finn says, parting his hands to mimic her girth. She rolls her eyes, and continues to go over her careful movements. "Something on your mind?"

"Constantly." Her laugh is short. "But tonight, I don't know. I just couldn't sleep. Something...doesn't feel right."

"Is it the baby?" He asks, coming closer to her.

"No, it's not. It's something...outside. I've tried to meditate on it, Like Master Luke told me to, perhaps get a clearer vision, but I couldn't get anything at all." She almost growls. "It's made me restless. I can't sleep. Something isn't right, and I have no idea what the hell it is!"

"Okay, okay. Calm down Rey." He says, coming forward and holding his hands up in surrender. She nods, extinguishes her saber, and lets him fold her in his arms.

"Sorry, I lashed out at you."

"Nah, it's fine. I mean, I probably deserved it. I said you were huge. I mean, you sort of are, but you're not like, tauntaun huge." He rambles, and she gently shoves his chest, and a moment later the baby kicked between them, landing a rather fierce kick against his own stomach, making him laugh. "Look at that kid, defending mom already! Good for you buddy." He pats her stomach, and she pulls back and looks at her best friend.

"Yeah, you'd best watch out, I've got a little defender." She teases.

"Come on, let's go to the mess hall and get you some tea or something. You've been in the hangar too long; your freezing." Finn takes off his coat, and drapes it around her shoulders before draping his arm around her and leading her out of the hangar. "Do you not have a coat, or something? Like, you always end up with one of our coats on."

"I don't usually feel cold. I'm usually too warm." She shrugs.

"Too warm? We're literally on an ice planet!" He laughs.

"I'm pregnant, It's normal." Rey says defensively.

"Hey, hey, I'm not trying to upset you. I'm sure it's normal!" Finn insists, and he pulls her over into the mess hall to get her a cup of something warm. "Take a seat, I'll be right back." She takes a seat at one of the long tables, and lets out a long breath and wraps the jacket tighter around her shoulders. She hadn't realized just how cold she was until she'd come into the heated room, and stopped working on her lightsaber form. Finn is just coming back to her with two steaming mugs when they hear it.

A loud impact outside, followed by shouting all around.

"First Order bombers-"

"Everyone to their stations!"

"Rey, come on, let's get you to safety-" She cuts Finn off with a wave of her hand.

"No! I can help!"

"Rey…" He cautions.

"Finn, I knew something was coming, I have the force, I can help with this!" She insists.

"Fine, but if General Organa tells you to get to safety-"

"Then I'll probably ignore her too!" She says, and throws his jacket back to him, no longer feeling cold. In the halls, everyone is running, and there's organized chaos. She goes with Finn towards command, where they find Leia and the admirals.

"How the hell did we miss this?!" Leia asks, hitting her hands against the table.

"We don't know- maybe a new sort of cloaking device?" One of them offers. "Our spies in the First Order technology-"

"Excuse me, but does it really matter how we missed it? We missed it, they're outside, what do we do about it?" Poe asks, his arms crossed over his chest. He hasn't noticed Rey by the door, but she's staring at him with wide eyes. He seems so powerful.

"Commander Dameron is right." Leia nods. "Can we fight this, or do we try to find a way to evacuate?" Rey closes her eyes, and breathes in deeply. She channels all of her light, and reaches out. She feels the buzz of activity inside of the base easily, but she pushes it further to sense the outside, and she's dismayed by it.

"There's no evacuating. Not yet." She announces, and everyone turns to look at her with surprise written on their faces.

"Rey!" Poe comes around the table to stand next to her, and takes her hand.

"Excuse me, since when does being Dameron's baby mama give a girl clearance to get into command?" One of the other commanders asks, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Rey is a valuable asset, Commander. You forget that she is the one respionsible for most of our success on Starkiller." Leia says sharply. "What were you going to say, Rey?"

"There are too many out there, troops, cannons, you name it, they've brought it." Rey says.

"How do you know?" The same burly commander asks.

"She used the force, idiot!" Poe rolls his eyes, and looks to Rey. "What do we do?"

"I...I'm not certain. I don't know that we can defeat them. We're strong here, but they've estimated that, they've planned for it." She reaches out again, taking deeper breaths. "They know this entrance point. They know the back entrance point. They don't know about the tunnels, I don't think. I don't feel any activity there."

"That's no good, we can't get any ships through the tunnels." Poe observes.

"No- But we can get a lot of weapons and people." Finn says, and snaps his fingers. "We can get out right under their noses...Attack from the side, draw them away from the main entrance so that we can open the hangar, get the ships out."

"General?" Poe asks.

"It's as good a plan as any." She shrugs. "Alright. Details. Let's go." Everyone starts speaking all at once, and Rey focuses on it all, throwing in what insight she can, though her time with Luke and her focus on her child has left her at a bit of a disadvantage here. Soon, everyone is on the move, but Rey finds herself frozen.

"Hey, Rey, come on!" Finn says, putting a hand on her shoulder.

" _He's_ here." She breathes, and Finn looks at her like she's crazy.

"What?" He asks.

"I haven't...I...Leia?!" Rey calls, and the General pulls away from the small cluster she's engaged in and rushes over to her.

"What?"

"He's _here!"_ Rey pulls her hand free from Poe's, and she grabs Leia's hands. "I can always feel his presence, but now it's so much stronger; I haven't felt it like this since we were on the same planet. He's here, I know it. Do you feel him too?" Leia closes her eyes, and when they open again they're wide.

"Damn!" She huffs.

"What's going on?" Poe asks.

"My son B-" Leia breaks off, and shakes her head. "Kylo Ren, he's with them."

"Damn!" Finn hisses.

"If I can feel him, I'm sure he feels me. He's going to know I'm here- he'll find me." Rey says, shaking her head. "I should never have left Luke. We were safe there."

"He sure as hell isn't going to take you. I won't let that happen." Poe says fervently. Rey wants so badly to believe him, but she can't. "Come on, let's get you somewhere safe."

"There's nowhere safe, Poe! You don't understand, we can sense each other." As if to prove her point the sense gets even stronger, and suddenly she feels the tapping at the back of her mind, he's trying to talk to her. "He feels me. He wants to talk. He knows I'm here."

"Rey…"

"Go, you all have to get on with the plan… maybe, Maybe I can distract him. Give you an edge." She says, heading for a chair.

"It's too dangerous!" Poe insists.

"Please, go! You know your mission, I can't really help with it, I'm almost eight months pregnant. Go." She insists. "All of you. Go."

"You heard the lady." Leia insists. She helps Rey into a seat, and then sits down beside her.

"General, aren't you coming?" One of the admirals asks.

"I'll be there when it's time to evacuate. For now, I need to stay with Rey. The rest of you, Go." Leia orders.

"I'll be okay." Rey says, looking Finn in the eye. He nods, and hugs her tightly before he backs towards the door. "Poe, you too."He comes towards her, and takes her face in his hands.

"If anything goes wrong-"

"You doubting my force abilities, Commander Dameron?" She asks. She tries to be playful, but the feel of _him_ in her head again, trying to get in is already giving her a pounding headache.

"No, of course not. But it's risky, Rey. The First Order is powerful, and sometimes, our missions go wrong." Poe says, and Rey feels his hands slight tremble where they rest on her skin. "If something goes wrong, you need to get the hell out of here. Grab one of the small ships, use the force, do whatever the hell you need to do to get out of here!" Poe begs, clutching her face tightly but gently. "You can't let that bastard get a hold of your kid, okay? You make sure that the kid is safe, no hero stuff this time, got it?"

"Yes."

"Promise me." He whispers.

"I promise. I'll think of the baby first." She says, and when he kisses her, she lets him. "Be careful, please!"

"Always am." He says, winking as he backs away. She leans into Leia's shoulder, and Leia wraps an arm around her.

"I need to let him in." She sighs, closing her eyes tightly.

"I know." Leia strokes the hair from her forehead with a gentle motherly touch.

"I know it'll be easier...for him to find me." She groans. "The connection is that strong."

"Let him come." Leia shrugs.

"You shouldn't be with me if he does...he'll already be mad if he sees this." Rey runs her hands over her stomach.

"I'm staying." Leia insists, and Rey nods. She takes a deep breath, and lets down the wall in her mind just enough to hear his voice.

" _You're on Hoth. Why the hell are you here? You're supposed to be training!"_ He growls, surprising her.

" _I had to come back."_ She scoffs. She is just relieved that the pressure in her head has gone away.

" _Damn it, Rey, there are orders not to take prisoners!"_ He groans, and she gasps.

"What?" Leia asks.

"No prisoners."

"Damn!"

" _You have to get out."_

" _Why, so you can kill everyone who loves me?"_

" _So that you don't die!"_ he insists. " _Please. I need you to leave."_

" _What? If you knew I was here, you wouldn't have come?"_

" _...It was an order."_

" _Then it makes no difference!"_ She growls.

" _I would have put out an order to make sure you were left alone."_

" _I wouldn't want that."_

" _I know."_

" _I have to help them. You know that."_

" _No!"_

" _I can't let you kill them!"_

" _Please…"_

" _Focus on what you're doing. Don't let yourself get killed, if you can help it."_ She closes the bond again, despite his protests, and looks to Leia. "We have to go help them."

"Rey, you have to get out of here." Leia insists.

"What? No! I can...I've got to help!"

"Rey, listen to me. If they're not giving quarter, you have to get out. That's my grand kid in there, and I don't want you risking them...and I know that you don't want that either, do you?" Leia asks, putting her hand on her cheek.

"No. I don't." Rey admits shamefully.

"Good. That's good, Rey. You're a mother now. You've got to put your child before everything else. Now, we have a few ships outside, cloaked. They're a little dinged up, no droid hookups, but they'll get you out of here. You get back to Luke. When we get out of here, I'll send R2 and Chewy for you." Leia stands up, and grabs her own coat. "You're always running around without one of these." She says, holding it up so that she can put her arms through it.

"Sorry." Rey says, shrugging it over her shoulders.

"You're going to be just fine. Take care of Chewy the second, huh?" Leia adjusts the collar of the coat.

"Right." Rey smiles, and throws her arms around the closest thing she's ever had to a mother, and the older woman holds onto her tightly for a moment before pulling back to kiss her forehead. "Thank you so much, for everything."

"Hey now, none of that "goodbye" sort of stuff. I'll see you soon; This is my only chance for a grandchild, and I'm not going to miss that!" Leia says firmly.

"Of course not!" Rey agrees.

"Now, Chewy tells me you're a good pilot, so prove it. Get the hell off of this ice-cube." Leia insists. "You know where the ships are?"

"I do." Rey assures her.

"Then go on." Leia squeezes her shoulders, and Rey takes off quickly. She's glad that she already has her lightsaber with her so she didn't have to go back for it, because time is of the essence. She promised Poe she'd think of the baby first. She's got to get the baby to safety, even if that means leaving a fight. But she remembers Leia once telling her that sometimes, It's all about Knowing when to stand and fight, and when to live to fight another day. And today she would have to live to fight another day.

She goes to one of the lesser known tunnels, which she only really knows because she's done a bit of wandering on restless nights. Directly outside, she knows that there are a few ships cloaked under a tarp covered in snow. Ships the resistance had meant to repair when they had time and resources. They would have to do. She uses the force to lift one of the heavy tarps from the nearest ship, an old x-wing, and she hops in it.

"Please please please." She mutters to herself as she starts it up. It sputters a bit, but stays on. "Alright. If I can fly the Falcon, I can fly this." She sighs, and takes off. She's glad that Poe had insisted on showing her how to fly one of these during one of her spells of boredom. Once she's actually in the air, it's relatively smooth. She takes account of the damage to the ship's system; no droid, obviously, one of the guns was down, as were the communications, but lightspeed and navigation were still up, and with that, she could make it. She just had to get to Ahch-To, and she would be alright. Looking out the window, she can see it's very clear outside, clear enough that she can see the beginning of a battle.

She smiles; no, the First Order hadn't been expecting this. She's almost clear of it all when she sees, just a second too late, a laser barreling right at her. She moves quickly, but it still clips the wing. It's too much, she knows, she's not going to be able to make it now, not into space or much further over the planet.

"Damn it!" She growls, and pulls hard on the controls. She glides, and the snow helps to soften the blow when she lands, but she feels the impact throughout her entire body. The pain of the impact is nothing compared to the pain that ripples through her the moment after, coming from her lower back, echoing through her whole core. When it dawns on her what it must be, her eyes widen, and she lets out a quiet cry. "No, no, no no no!"

Her fingers are trembling as she unbuckles herself, and opens the hatch. She hadn't gotten too far from the base, she would have to make it on foot. The fact that there was a battle was neither here, nor there, because she knew that staying here simply wasn't an option. She'd freeze. And the pain...oh, the pain...Her feet make contact with the snow, and she almost immediately falls to her knees as another pain rocks through her.

"Oh Maker!" She cries through gritted teeth. In the back of her mind she feels the cold from the snow seeping in through her pants, but she doesn't care. The pain rips through her, sharp and searing. "Come on. Come on!" She pants, throwing her head back. Slowly, she pushes herself up, and tries to move forward again, but her legs don't seem to want to work. She falls to her knees again and stares forward into the white void. She hadn't gone far, she knows, but even using the force, she'd never make it back well over a mile like this. She could try to crawl, but it was freezing. Even with Leia's coat, she'd never make it without succumbing to the cold...and the pain in her abdomen, it was quickly becoming too much to handle. She wouldn't make it. She would die. She would die, and her child with her. She lets out an anguished cry, ripping through her throat painfully. Her own death, she could bear, but not the death of her child, of _his_ child.

 _His…_

Since she had shut him out, she'd felt as if he'd been throwing himself against the wall in her mind, and focusing on it now, she feels as if he's trying even harder, as she had when she had felt his pain…

She goes over her options in her head, because giving up can't be one of them. The ships communication lines were completely down, and she wouldn't be able to repair it without proper materials, so reaching the base wasn't possible. She could try to call out to Leia through the force, but she'd never done that successfully. Luke was too far away to be of any help, even if she could reach him at this distance, which she really doubted she could do...But she knew she could reach _him_ at a much greater distance than this.

If she talked to him, if he came to find her, well, she would have to tell him _everything,_ and he'd be furious at her for keeping it from him. But if she didn't...she'd die. Brick by brick, she begins to tear down the wall in her mind, and his presence becomes more and more potent. He's stopped pushing, trying to make this easier for her, but she can feel how frantic he is. She could start speaking to him, but she needs him all the way in her mind for this, she needs him to understand. So she continues to let him further and further into her mind until she can feel all of him. His mere presence almost seems to lessen the pain raging from her core.

" _Kylo...Ben.."_ she's surprised that her voice almost sounds like a sob.

" _Rey?! Rey, where are you? Who hurt you?!"_ He's growling possessively, and she can only hope that his possessiveness over her will play in her favour. Another roll of pain hits her, and she cannot even bring herself to form words through the bond. " _Rey, please! Where are you? Are you alright? Rey!"_

" _Somethings wrong."_ She whimpers, clutching at her stomach.

" _What?"_ She takes a stabilizing breath, and braces herself for what's to come.

" _With the baby. Something is wrong with the baby."_


	19. Chapter 19: The Truth Comes Out

_**AN: That was quite a cliffhanger in that last chapter, huh? Not to worry, I won't leave you waiting any longer! How will Ben react to the news? Find out below!**_

For a second the bond is silent and still, and she's terrified that he's left completely, but then his thoughts start whirling around her head at an incredible speed.

" _Baby? What...baby? What the hell are you talking about?"_ He asks.

" _Ours."_ It's quiet, impossibly quiet again. " _Ben...I'm pregnant."_

" _No. That- that's not possible! I would have seen...I should have felt…"_

" _You did! You felt the light...the baby...it's strong with the force."_ She says weakly.

" _But you...No, I've seen you! You haven't been...no…"_ She can almost feel him shaking his head. " _I don't...How?"_

" _I had to hide them. I was afraid...I didn't want you to know."_

" _I...I don't believe you."_ He's lying. She knows it.

" _Then look into my mind, Ben! Please, you'll see everything, You'll see I haven't lied to you now!"_ She insists, and after a moment's hesitation, she feels him probing into her mind, and she draws him in deeper. She starts at the beginning of it all, on Starkiller, holding nothing back. She sends him the passion, the adoration, the ecstacy, followed by the fear and the horror when he'd killed his father...she skims over a few things, until she reaches the moment she realized that she was pregnant, the fear, and yet, all of that joy, and love she had felt...she sends him every thought she had ever had about him.

 _His baby...growing inside of her...frightening darkness...gentle caresses...his lips, warm against her skin...Baby...keep the baby safe from him...he killed his father….he could kill the baby...you shouldn't want him…beautiful dark eyes...nail marks criss crossed on his back-_

" _Where the hell are you?!"_ He growls suddenly, and she lets out a trembling breath. " _Nevermind. I can feel you. I'm coming."_ She lets out a sob of relief, her hand flying to her mouth. He might be coming to kill her, but then at least she would have tried. The death of her child would not rest on her hands. " _Damn it, Rey, I'm not going to hurt you!"_ And despite everything, she believes him.

A pain comes, and then it abates, and she feels the cold seeping in through her clothes, but she knows he's coming to her. She physically feels him coming closer, and she's filled with nervous, excited anticipation. Within minutes she sees a tie coming towards her, but it's not an ordinary one. It's clearly been customized, and it could only belong to one person. She opens her mind even further, hoping it will help him see her. The baby kicks sharply against her ribcage, and she gasps as that pain carries into another wave of agony. The tie lands, and he jumps out of it.

"Rey!" he calls, and he's running to her, his black cloak trailing behind him in the wind.

"Ben!" She cries, only half aware of tears falling down her cheeks and going cold. She lifts up her arms, and he's there, ripping off his cape, and wrapping her in it before he puts his hands on her face, before one of them trails down slowly to her swollen stomach. She gasps as she feels the pressure of his hand there, and the baby kicks against his hand as if in greeting. The pain abates, and she lets out shuddering breath.

"It's mine…" He says, his eyes growing wide. "Ours."

"Yes." She nods, lifting a frozen hand to his cheek. "But something is wrong."

"What, what is it?" He asks, his voice almost frantic.

"It hurts." Is all she can think to explain it.

"I felt that you were in pain- force, Rey, it was killing me!" He gently presses her cheek with his hand.

"I think...It feels like the baby is coming. It's too soon. I still have six and a half weeks to go- but it hurts!" She's crying, and he looks as if someone has run him through with a knife.

"Please don't cry. I'll get you out of here. You're going to be okay." he says, scooping her up into his arms. Even through all of the layers she can hear the beat of his heart under her ear, and it's strangely comforting. She grabs a handful of his shirt, and leans her face into his chest, taking in his scent, something she'd been without for so long.

"I'm not worried about myself." She says quietly after a moment. "I'm only worried about the baby. If this baby dies...I'm going to die too."

"Nothing is happening to _either_ of you!" He says fiercely. He opens his ship without moving his hands, and climbs in, keeping her on his lap when they're seated. It's small, but much larger than the average tie.

"The battle...you'll get in trouble…" She moans.

"Don't worry about it." He brushes her concern away and takes off. They'd never closed the bond and she could feel the emotions swelling through him. Fear, wonder, despair, anger, betrayal, hope, and love all wash over her in equal turns. She reaches in again, and feels his thoughts.

 _Baby...a baby...how? I should have known, Snoke should have known, he always says he knows everything, he should have known!...it's mine, I feel it, it's mine. Mine….and hers. How? Nothing good can come from me...I am darkness….I'm evil, death, destruction, but it's all her light...It must be Perfect like her. It has to be! No trace of me. No one could love me...But she will love our child...ours…It has to live. She has to live. I need her. I don't deserve her..._

"Stop! Stop, it hurts me!" She cries suddenly, and he looks down at her and blinks, but he continues to fly without wavering. "I have seen...so much of your soul that you can't see. I know you! Don't...don't underestimate yourself."

"Rey, I know what I am. Look what I did to you."

"What?"

"A child of the darkness...and now you're in so much pain. It's my fault." He doesn't look at her, he just flies towards the Finalizer.

"You never did anything I didn't ask for." She insists. "And I love this child. I love them so much it hurts- and I can't lose them, I can't."

"You won't." He growls, but it doesn't frighten her. Somehow, his determination in this makes her feel safe. She's in the lap of what people call the ultimate foe, the most feared figure of the first order, But she feels safe. They land in a hangar, and he wraps his arms around her, and jumps out easily.

"What the hell is this?" A voice calls, and she peels her face away from Kylo's chest to peer out at the redheaded man who is yelling at him.

"Out of my way, Hux." he says, but the tall, thin man stands in front of him.

"Is this the girl? The one with the map?"

"I said move. I won't say it nicely a third time." he says through gritted teeth.

"What are you d-" Suddenly, he's not standing in front of them anymore, he's been thrown off to the side rather violently, and Kylo had done it with a wave of his fingers. Rey almost wants to chastise him for his violence, but she can't bring herself to say anything as pain strikes her system again.

"Force, Rey!" He says through gritted teeth as he reads the anguish in her head. "Don't worry, I'll get you to the med bay. They'll take care of you." She just nods and buries her face in his chest again.

" _What a sight we must be."_ She says into the bond as she struggles to return her breathing to normal. " _The great Kylo Ren carrying a pregnant prisoner through the halls."_

" _You're not a prisoner. I didn't capture you."_

" _Right. But that's not what it looks like to them, I'm sure. And I'm sure you have no intention of letting me go."_ Silence. " _Do you?"_

" _Let's get you to the med bay."_

" _Do you?"_

" _No."_

" _You may not have captured me, but you're keeping me. Sounds like a prisoner."_

" _How the hell are you thinking about this anyways? Your pain is driving me to distraction."_

" _It helps to focus on something else."_

" _Then by all means, be angry at me."_

" _Thanks."_ His boots click as they make their way through the hall, and the troopers and officers duck out of the way when they see the determination with which the Master of the Knights of Ren is almost running through the halls. They burst through the doors of the Med Bay, and Kylo calls out for assistance at once.

"Can I help, sir?" A young woman asks, running up.

"She's pregnant. Somethings wrong." He explains, sounding bewildered. The woman calls over her shoulder for a doctor.

"How far along are you?" She asks, looking Rey in the eye.

"Thirty two weeks."

"Ah, nearly there, then." She says gently as a doctor comes with a team and a gurney. Kylo hesitates to let go of her, as if afraid to let her out of his arms. "Sir, please. Let us help her."

"If anything happens to her or the child, the entire medical staff will have me to deal with! Am I understood?" He asks, speaking loudly enough to be heard by everyone. His words are met by a flurry of agreement, and half hearted reassurances. But he still doesnt' quite let of her, and her fingers don't seem to want to uncurl from his tunic.

"Sir, Miss, my name is Eloriah. I'm a nurse. I've delivered babies before. Please, let me help you." Rey turns her face out, and really looks at the woman for the first time. She's petite, and young, no more than thirty, but she guesses she's probably a bit younger than that. She has pretty red hair, gently braided back from her face, and kind blue eyes set in a heart shaped face. And Rey trusts something in her eyes.

"Kylo?" Rey says, gently pressing her palm against his heart. "Let me go." He lets out a slightly shuddering breath, and sets her on the gurney. As they wheel her away, she glances over her shoulder at him, and sees that he looks frightened, genuinely afraid. He seems frozen, and then she sees him moving after her, just a few steps behind.

" _I'll be okay."_ She sends him with the most soothing voice she can manage.

" _I should be comforting you, not the other way around."_ He scoffs.

" _Because everything about us is so traditional."_ He cracks a small smile at this, and she's glad. He's so handsome when he smiles...even the scar she'd given him with the saber couldn't distract from how beautiful he was. Even her pain didn't seem to distract from it. But it distracted him enough not to comment on what she was sure were extremely loud thoughts. Around her, everyone started working frantically, probably, she thought, due in part to Kylo's threats. She glances at the doorway, and sees him there, watching protectively.

"We'll need to do an examination, internally." Eloriah says gently, and Rey nods, mostly beyond embarrassment. But her eyes flicker to Kylo in the doorway. "Sir, if you could step away, just for a moment-"

"No!" he growls.

"Sir, just for a moment. Actually, everyone step out. I'll help the patient into a gown, and then you may all return." Eloriah insists, waving everyone out. There are protests, but the redheaded nurse holds her ground, and the doctors and assistants all shuffle out past her until the room is vacated, except for Rey, Eloriah, and Kylo Ren. "Sir."

"Kylo, just for a moment. I'm okay." Rey says softly. He looks unbelieving, but he nods slowly. "I promise, you can come right back in." He backs out of the room, and Eloriah closes the door. "You're not afraid of him?"

"I wouldn't say that. But I know I'm good at what I do, and I hate it when anyone stands in my way, force user or not." The nurse says, and she begins to help her out of her still slightly damp clothes, and into a clean grey medical gown.

"I'll make sure he doesn't hurt anyone. Or I'll try to." Rey says softly, and the nurse chuckles.

"Don't worry, Miss-"

"It's Rey. Just call me Rey, please."

"Well then, don't worry Rey. He said if anything happened to either of you we'd be in trouble. But nothing is going to happen to either of you. Even if you did have the baby tonight, we have the equipment to incubate it. But I don't think that will happen. If we need to, we can slow things down with some medications." Rey nods. "I promise you're in good hands. I'm the one they send when the officer's wives are having their babies."

"How old are you?"

"Twenty six. What about you?"

"I'm not...oof!" She hisses as another pain hits her, and Eloriah takes her hand.

"That's alright, keep talking to me, go on."

"I don't know exactly how old I am...Somewhere between nineteen and twenty two!" She snaps off as the pain becomes quite intense. "Oh Maker, It hurts!"

"I know. Don't worry. When this one is over, we'll get you settled in, and we'll proceed."

"But everything is going to be okay?" Rey asks with a small voice, her free hand flying down to her stomach, stroking it gently.

"I promise." The nurse says fervently. "And I'm not allowed to make promised to patients. So you must know I'm serious."

"I trust you." Rey nods. "Will you be there, when the baby is born? Can it be you?"

"Well, you're clearly important to the Master of the Knights of Ren." She says casually as she helps the slightly younger woman settle into the bed comfortably. "I deliver all of the leader's babies. I'm sure I'll do yours as well."

"Does everyone know?" Rey asks, her face coloring.

"In a Med Bay filled with men? Please, they're not observant enough to notice anything. But I saw the way he was looking at you, how protective he was of you. That's not a bond that a powerful man has with his prisoner. But it is the sort of thing I see in a man when I deliver his child. Protectiveness, Primal instincts, a touch of desperation. He had it all in his eyes." The Nurse settles a blanket over her lap. "Comfortable?" Rey nods. "Do you mind if I take a quick peek here, before we let everyone back in?"

"I don't care about anything anymore." Rey sighs, and pushes aside any discomfort she should be feeling, and focuses on the promise that everything will be alright.

"We do have a bit of dilation, but not enough that we're past the point of no return. How long would you say you've been having these contractions?"

"An hour? Almost two." Rey says.

"Alright." She strides to the door and opens it, barking for a whole list of things to be brought to her at once. Kylo strides past her, and comes to Rey's bedside, reaching out as if to touch her, and then stopping.

"Take off your gloves." Rey commands, and he looks at her curiously. "If you're going to touch me, I want to feel you, not leather." He pulls them off slowly, and she can't help but be transported back to the first time he'd peeled off his gloves, and touched her face with his bare hands...that moment that had sparked the energy between them that had become a bond so quickly. He reaches out again, and puts his hand on her face. She leans into his touch, and kisses his palm before she can stop herself...his worry is just so palpable. "I'm okay. I promise."

"Is she?" He asks, quickly casting his eyes to the nurse.

"She is. She's less than two centimeters. I'm having a drip brought in for her, containing…" Rey stops listening, opting instead to delve a little bit further into the head of the father of her child. He'd been projecting so much of his emotion that she's surprised by how much of it is hidden inside. Memories are welling up, bad memories.

 _He's only five years old, and he's crying. His father picks him up, and ruffles his hair._

" _Hey, don't worry Kid. Mom's gonna be fine." he says reassuringly. His memory flashes to his mother, still young, and stunningly beautiful, and...round with child._

" _B-but the blood, dad!" He cries, and the image of his mother shifts...she's so pale, her face streaked with tears, green dress stained with blood._

" _I promise kid, Mom's gonna pull through this."_

" _What about sister?" He asks innocently. His father's face grows grim. "Papa?"_

" _Well, Ben, sometimes, things just don't work out like we hope."_

Leia had a second child? Or, nearly had. And she had almost died because of it...the child had died. That was the only experience that he had ever had with a pregnant woman...maker, no wonder he was so scared! She reaches up to take his hand in her own, and links their fingers together, much to his surprise.

"Be- er, Kylo, I-" She's cut off when the medics return, and her attention is taken by Eloriah who quickly prepares her for the IV drip laced with medicine as the other doctors hook her up to all sorts of machines.

"Now, we'll have you in here for twenty four hours on the drip, with your feet up. That should stop the labour for now." Eloriah says.

"And if it doesn't?" Kylo asks gruffly.

"Then we'll cross that bridge when we come to it." She says calmly. "Rey, I want you to relax. Stress isn't something you can handle right now. I'm having everyone leave, but you can call for one of us at any time. I would actually recommend that you be left alone, but I'm under the impression that that isn't going to happen."

"It's not." Rey says before Kylo can respond gruffly. "But I'll rest easy. Don't worry."

"I'll be back in an hour to check on you, and we'll monitor all the vital signs." She says gently.

"Thank you, Eloriah." Rey calls after her as she leaves with a quick smile tossed over her shoulder. She casts her eyes down to their joined hands, and slowly lifts her eyes up to his face. He's staring at her so intently… "I know you have questions-"

"You have a lot to explain to me-" They speak at the same time, and Rey can't help but laugh a little bit. "I need an explanation, Rey. Please."

"I know."


	20. Chapter 20: I Want To Believe

_**AN: Surprise! Another Chapter for you- though, is it really a surprise when I do this all the time? Either way, your reviews, follows, and favorites make me so happy! Please enjoy, dear readers!**_

"I know." They're staring at each other, his dark eyes boring into her hazel, but every other moment they flicker down to the swell of her stomach. It's like they've both been transfixed. The bond between them is alive, almost singing where their hands are still joined together. It wants more, it's begging for it.

"You didn't tell me." He says, an edge of bitterness in his voice.

"No, I didn't." She says simply. She tries to turn her face away from his, but it's like she's connected to him by a magnet. His eye flicker with emotion, and she trembles.

"Please don't be afraid." He sounds so small, so scared...she tugs her hand away from his, and puts both of her small hands on his face. Her fingers trace over his features, pouty lips, strong nose, the scar she'd given him. He's almost transfixed by the feel of her fingers on his flesh, so tender, so soft...

"I'm not afraid of you. Maybe I should be. But I'm not." She gently runs her fingers through his hair, and she lets out a quiet humming sound. It had been almost eight months since she'd really had him before her as flesh and blood...his appearances to her in the force had been real, but this was...this was…

"It's mine?" His eyes flash down to her stomach, his voice sounds almost afraid, as if he cannot bear to have any answer but yes.

"How can you doubt it?" She asks, her fingers trailing gently under his chin.

"I don't." He says quickly. He lifts his hand towards her stomach, and she stops him. She makes sure her lap is well covered with a blanket, and pulls the gown up over her stomach, revealing the bare skin of her stomach. She takes his hand again, and puts it on her skin, and he lets out a quiet sound of pleasure and surprise. She can't help but smile; she'd never let anyone except the doctors touch her bare stomach, not Rose, Poe, Finn, or even Leia, but the baby's father _was_. The baby kicks against his hand again, and his beautiful dark eyes fill with wonder. Briefly, she hopes that their child will have those eyes...dark, inquisitive, beautiful. "I don't understand."

"I've let you into my head. I don't know how else to explain it to you." She sighs. "I know that I've said I don't fear you. I don't. I promise that I don't. But I've seen what you are capable of. Can you blame me for wanting to keep my child away from you?"

"No." He says, his eyes narrowing.

"I love this child more than anything in the world. More than anyone. Every choice I've made is simply to give them their best chance." Rey says, almost pleading with him to understand. "And...I didn't know how you would react, if you knew. Would you have lashed out in anger? I could hardly believe you'd be pleased…"

"You thought I'd be a danger, to them." his voice is strained.

"Can you blame me?" She asks quietly.

"...No." He shakes his head.

"Are you a danger to them?"

"No." His voice is fervent again, and it stirs something powerful in her heart. "You should know...you _have_ to know. I protect what is mine."

"Until you hate them. Until they're in your way." She says, her mind flashing to his father.

"I didn't hate him!" He says suddenly, his energy lifting dramatically. "But he was of the past! The past, the pain, it had to end!" As his energy increases, Rey feels the swirls of darkness rippling out of him, and she tries to channel all of her energy into sending him light, to no avail. "Snoke said...it was the only way…" He rambles on, his anger rising,and Rey feels her fear rising. He's too close to her child, too close, he's going to fly into a rage, he can't be so close-

And then the child somersaults in her womb, and she feels light radiating, concentrating on the point where his hand is resting, flooding through her own body, and into his. Like every other time such light has touched him, he pulls away as if burnt, his eyes growing wide.

"You said that it was a child of the darkness. But I think you'll have to agree that it's a child of the light." Rey says softly, putting her own hand on her stomach.

"I've felt this feeling before. When you appeared to me, I felt it, as sure as I felt it now. How could I not have known?" He asks, fluttering his fingers. "When you first left...I'll admit, I entertained the idea of you, pregnant with my...I thought that maybe, just maybe...but then, I saw you, and I thought...it didn't seem possible. It didn't." He shakes his head. "And you had such feelings about me, such violent feelings, I honestly can't believe that you kept it." Rey starts, and looks deep into his eyes.

"It never once crossed my mind." She says firmly. "Maybe it should have. But I was ready to give up everything from the very beginning. Give up my training, my place with the resistance, everything."

"And now?"

"Now? I'm not going anywhere. It's too dangerous- I can't risk it." She says, almost sadly. "You've asked me so many times to come to you...and I'm here now."

"You don't want to be."

"No. Maybe. I don't know. I...when you're near me...I can't think, but you, the bond...you feel like…ugh!" She groans, trying to find a way to communicate her emotions. "Can you promise me that you won't take the baby away from me? Ever. Can you promise that you'll never hurt them?"

"I...I never want to hurt either of you." He says softly. He's drawn to her again, one hand on her stomach, the other on her face. "I know you don't believe me, but I do...Rey, I love you." He kisses her then, and her whole system jolts at the connection. She whimpers against his mouth, and invites him in. Oh, Maker, he feels so good! The bond is still open, and she can feel his sincerity pouring out of him like water. Underneath the river, she feels so much; darkness, pain, regret, all constants in his mind, but newer, stronger emotions dance along side of them. Hope, love...and light. It's flickering, but she feels no risk of it snuffing out. She reaches deeper, and pulls it forward, and he doesn't fight her or withdraw, he only moans against her skin. She's never felt "home" more than in that moment. "I swear it." He finally says, dragging his lips down her throat. "Anything you want, anything within my power, It's yours if you only ask it."

And, oh, she wants something more than anything. She wants him to abandon the darkness., return with her to the resistance. But she knows she cannot ask. Not yet. He'll withdraw from her, he'll be angry. She cannot risk that. No, she has to help him first. Help him find himself. His loyalty is still too strongly tied to his master, but in time...She can see it, as clearly as she can see the space before her. He will change his alliance. He will choose her over him. It's a waiting game...yes, she only has to wait-

"Rey, is everything- oops!" Eloriah has opened the door, and turned her back to them just as quickly. "My apologies, Master Ren, the heart monitor only showed a spike, I didn't think-" She's shoved out of the room by an invisible hand as Kylo growls.

"Kylo, don't!" Rey gasps. "She didn't deserve that!"

"She interrupted- she saw!"

"You can't use violence to solve everything!" She shakes her head.

"You only call me Kylo if you're displeased or you need something." He observes, his voice angry. "But you call me Ben any other time. Because you think Ben is still there. He's not."

"Maybe." Rey says, her brow furrowing.

"He's dead!"

"I don't believe that." She shakes her head.

"Believe what you want. Believe what you need to to keep the child safe. But the father of your child...he's me, Rey. Not Ben." He insists.

"You were Ben that night. You told me so yourself." She says, almost pleading.

"I was wrong." He says simply, and he exits. She feels him beginning to shut her out of the bond, and she panics, throwing her mind against his desperately. He hesitates, and leaves just a sliver of the bond open, just enough so she can still feel the waves of his thoughts, though she cannot fully read them. She lets out an angry cry, and tugs her gown back down over her stomach.

She had known it wouldn't be easy to bring him back.

But for a moment she'd dared to hope that he was already close, already there.

But no, it was surely going to be a long, and arduous task.


	21. Chapter 21: Needed

_**AN: Ladies and Gents, the moment you've been waiting for, The return of Reylo affection!**_

"Now, I wouldn't worry too much about it if I were you. Of course, we don't have access to any of your former records, but from what we have heard from you, we can surmise that you were quite underweight before your pregnancy, and I gather you've been under some stress recently. Both of those things on their own have been known to cause early labour." Eloriah explains. "I'd like to be able to do an ultrasound, but that sort of equipment isn't kept here. I've sent for it, though, since Master Ren assured us you'd be staying here for the duration of the pregnancy."

"An ultrasound?" Rey asks.

"Oh, yes. It's a machine that allows you to see into the womb, get proper measurements on the baby, even determine the gender and hear the heartbeat."

"Hear the heartbeat?" Rey asks, the corners of her lips twitching up.

"Yes- have you not heard it yet?"

"I was...rather on my own, for the first half of this. And the people where I was for the rest of it didn't exactly have the means for fancy equipment for expectant mothers." Rey explains.

"Then you're in for a treat when the machine gets here."

"I was wondering- has Kylo- er, Master Ren, has he been here this morning?" Rey asks curiously. He'd closed the bond entirely at some point while she had been sleeping, and she assumes that's where her dreams had turned into nightmares. She'd considered gently prodding against the barriers, seeing if he'd let her in, but she'd thought better of it.

"No, He's not been in the med bay since last night, but he did see that everything was arranged for you before he went to-" Eloriah cuts herself off, and busies herself again.

"Went where?" Rey asks, leaning forward to take her hand. "Tell me, please."

"Well, I don't know exactly, but we think he went to go see...the Supreme leader, in person." Eloriah explains, and Rey's heart almost literally skips a beat.

"W-what? Where?"

"I'm afraid I really don't know, Rey. Last night General Hux came to the Med Bay and they got into...a disagreement. The general said they would prepare a cell, and Master Ren said he'd have you in his quarters, and the General told him that he'd already informed the SUpreme Leader of the situation, and Master Ren didn't seem pleased. He said he was going to go there himself...then he threw the General into a wall and was off. He's posted some of his loyal guards outside your room, so no one will be allowed in without permission."

"How long ago did he leave?" She asks.

"It was after you'd fallen asleep. I'd guess he's been gone for no less than six hours, no more than eight." Eloriah explains. "If Master Ren were here, I'd probably release you this morning, but given the circumstances, I think you'll be much more comfortable here than a cell."

"No doubt." Rey nods. "Thank you, for being so kind...and I apologize, for er...Master Ren's behaviour. He's quite impulsive."

"Oh, you don't have to apologize, Rey. And it's no trouble to be kind. I may be on the first order's employ, but my first devotion is to expecting mothers and babies, like my mother before me." Eloriah shrugs as she finishes up some notes. "As far as I'm concerned, a woman who loves her child enough to risk being brought on board a ship full of people who may well kill her...well, she deserves a bit of friendship, doesn't she?"

"Thank you." Rey smiles.

"Alright. I'll be back again in about an hour, and if things are still safe, I'll have some food brought in for you. Just relax, sleep if you want to...and I'll keep you informed, if there's any word on Master Ren's location." She says as she leaves the room. The baby kicks against her pelvis, and she squirms a bit.

"You're awake, aren't you, my sweet one? I was beginning to worry, after all, we had an...exciting day yesterday, to say the least." Rey coos softly to the child protected by layers of skin and muscle. "But where is your father? Hm? I know, how would you know?"

" _You referred to me as their father."_ Rey gasps, completely taken aback to by the sound of his voice in her head. She'd never closed the bond again, she'd been waiting for him.

" _Where are you? Are you alright?"_ She asks at once, and she's sure her heart rate has increased again.

" _I'm fine. I'm on the way back to you."_

" _Where did you go?"_

" _I'll tell you when I'm back."_

" _Why can't you tell me now?"_

" _I'd rather be with you."_

" _Why? Is it...do you have something I won't like to hear?"_ She asks, biting her lip nervously.

" _No, don't worry. I just...I'm tired. I'll be with you in less than an hour. Can you just wait?"_

" _It doesn't sound like I have a choice."_ She sighs. " _I...I was worried about you."_

" _You were?"_ He seems genuinely surprised.

" _You were so upset last night, and you left so suddenly...and I heard that you'd argued, with General Hux?"_

" _Who told you that?"_ he asks angrily. " _Was it that nurse?"_

" _Her name is Eloriah, and I like her. I want her to deliver the baby, so you'd better not frighten her off."_ Rey cautions. " _Yes, she told me. I asked. You closed the bond last night, I could barely feel you. I was worried about you."_

" _You close the bond on me all of the time."_

" _That was before."_ She insists.

" _What? Are you going to keep it open?"_

" _If you don't do anything that makes me need to get away."_ She can feels sparks of excitement run through him at the idea of constant connection. Suddenly, she'd like to have him in her arms, or at least in front of her. " _Did you go to see Snoke? Please, tell me the truth."_

" _I did."_ She's silent. All she can remember is the last time that she had known he was with Snoke, when he had been hurt so badly… " _What is it?"_

" _The last time...The last time I found out that you'd been to see Snoke, you were hurt. Very badly."_ The memory sparks through them both, painful and sharp.

" _I'm fine."_

" _You sound upset."_

" _I don't like that you had to feel that pain. You didn't deserve it."_

" _You didn't deserve it either!"_

" _Maybe not."_

" _...You'll be here soon?"_

" _I promise."_

" _Okay."_

" _Please, don't worry about me. I can feel it coming off of you in waves."_

" _I can't help that."_

" _It's been a long time, since someone was worried about me."_ He observes softly.

" _That's not true. Your mother thinks of you constantly."_

" _Do not mention that woman to me!"_

" _I'm only telling you the truth. You're never far from her thoughts. She's told me all sorts of stories about you, about your childhood. She made me feel...closer to you."_

" _She doesn't know me."_

" _Maybe not anymore. But she knew the child that you were. And as the woman carrying your child, that was of interest to me."_

" _I like it, when you call it my child. Most of the time you call it yours."_

" _Well, it is ours. No point in hiding it anymore."_

" _Ours."_ His voice is warm and she feels it wash over her like a warm rain. " _I almost don't believe it. There was so much light...so much light…"_

" _I know. Master Luke was surprised too. We both thought there would be darkness, but there wasn't- there isn't. And it came from you too."_

" _There is no light in me!"_ He huffs, immediately on the defensive.

" _No, of course not."_ She shakes her head and fights to keep from rolling her eyes. " _I don't want to fight with you. I'm too tired for that. I'll talk to you when you come back."_

" _Fine."_

" _I'll...keep the bond open, if you'd like."_ She says, almost timidly.

" _I would."_ He says cautiously.

" _Alright."_ She's almost lulled to sleep by the rhythm of his beating heart, which she feels throughout her entire body. She shouldn't be so comfortable with him, with his volatile temper and tendency to act violently and swiftly. But somehow, she feels that he fills the cracks and holes inside of her, making her whole in a way she doesn't know that she has ever been before...and she wonders if he feels it too.

" _Yes."_ It's such a quiet whisper, she's not sure he's really said it, but she doesn't press. She just closes her eyes, and lets herself get lost in the seas of _him._ She's safe as long as she is with _him._ He might hurt everyone else, but he'd let her go...he'd been so gentle...he could take whatever he wanted, but he did not take her against her will. He claimed to love her...and in quiet moments like this, with no words, just feelings, she could almost believe that was true.

She knows when he lands in the Hangar, she feels it in her whole body. She can't help herself when she tries to arrange her hair in some semblance of order, and adjust her bland gray hospital gown nicely. She shouldn't want to look nice for him, but she finds that she does. The closer he gets, the stronger the pulsing of the bond becomes, and when he's just outside of her door, she almost can't remember how to breathe.

The first thing she thinks when she sees him is that she's so glad that he doesn't wear his mask anymore. His face is so handsome, she can't think of any reason he should cover it up. The second is that he still radiates pain.

"Oh Ben…" She breathes, swinging her feet over the side of the bed to attempt to rise and go to him.

"No- don't. I don't want you to hurt yourself." He says, coming to her bedside instead. He sinks to his knees before her, and she gently puts her hands on his face, feeling through his body to find the source of his pain...in his hands. Her face puckers as her hands gently trail down his neck and his arms until they reach his glove covered hands. Carefully, ever so carefully, she peels them off, keeping her eyes fixed on his until she's freed his fingers from them.

"Ben...Kylo…" She says gently as she takes in the damage to his palms. Red, angry skin, radiating pain. "You lied to me- you said you weren't hurt. You said you were fine."

"I am." He says, but she has evidence to the contrary in her hands. "Don't worry."

"Don't worry? I don't understand...How did I not feel this?" She asks, her brow furrowing as she runs her fingers along the very edge of his hands.

"I closed the bond. I did everything I could to keep it shut tight. I didn't want you to feel anything." He says. She closes her eyes, and lets out a long breath. "I'm glad...I wasn't sure it would work. But you didn't feel anything?"

"No. I didn't." She gently runs her fingers over the backs of his hands, where there was no damage, and she feels him tremble. She breathes in deeply. "What happened?"

"He tried to hit me with the lightning. I caught it." He shrugs. "I'll just stick them in some bacta. They'll be fine." He tries to pull back, but she holds fast to his hands.

"I'm going to try something. Prove that you trust me." She says softly, and he nods slowly. She'd done this a few times before. Luke had taught her how, but Leia had really been the one to help her get the hang of Force healing. She'd been able to repair minor cuts and even a few broken bones, why couldn't she do this? She breathes in, focusing all of her energy, all of the force flowing through her into his hands, which are surrounded by a soft, blue light. His breath is trembling, his eyes are squeezed shut, but he doesn't pull away from her, and her lips curl into a smile. " _There we are, please, trust me...trust me…"_ She soothes through the bond, and gently peels away her healing light, leaving unmarred skin in it's wake. To finish it, she gently kisses his palms, and then looks into his dark eyes.

"I can't remember the last time someone healed me." He says quietly. "Someone who didn't have to. And most of the time I use the med droids."

"I...I don't like to see you hurting, and I could stop it." She shrugs.

"Your force abilities have grown." He says, still holding her eyes.

"They have...this is my favorite thing." She says, running her thumbs over his palms without fear of causing him pain. "I'm tired of fighting. Of death and destruction. I don't want to use the force for those things, if I don't have to. But I can use it to heal."

"It was...incredible. You were incredible." He says, gently touching her cheek. A thought strikes her, and she catches his hand gently, holding it to her skin.

"After we left yesterday...what happened on Hoth?" She asks, and he stiffens. "Please. I have to know."

"You'll be glad to hear it was a failure. A majority of the rebels have escaped." She tries not to smile or sigh in relief. "We didn't manage to dispose of anyone of note. It's my fault. I was supposed to lead...I failed."

"Don't…" She protests with a shake of her head. "Is that why he wanted to hurt you?"

"He wanted to know if the report from Hux was accurate. If I'd brought in a pregnant prisoner." Kylo says, his fingers pressing gently to the skin of her cheek. "I had to tell him it was mine. He would have known, eventually...He...asked how the child had come to exist. He thinks that I...I… on you. Did I?" He asks, sounding troubled.

"No, no Ben, No!" She says quickly, reaching for him clasping his face in her hands. "You made love to me- don't you remember?" She asks desperately. He looks at her with narrowed eyes, and she reaches into his mind. The memory on starkiller is clouded with darkness, tampered with, an edge of violence and darkness on every movement. The memories seem black, like they're rotting, stolen from him. She's recognizes the look of tampered memories from the memories of his childhood. And Snoke's done it again. He's taken something precious, something that Ben should have been able to hold dear, and he's used it to make the darkness grow. She trembles with rage, and he begins to back away.

"I'm so sorry. I never thought...I'm a monster." His eyes fill with horror and disgust.

"No- Ben! It wasn't that way! He's gotten into your head, he's made you think..." She shakes her head in disgust, and pulls him closer again. "You know that's not right, don't you? You remember…" She rakes her fingers through his hair, and he stares at her in confusion. She takes a deep breath, and pushes down the feelings of embarrassment to let him into her most private memories, reminding herself that they belong to him too. She floods his mind with her memories of their moment.

 _Soft lips against skin, his hot breath tickling her breasts while she begged him for more, begged him to touch her, to fill her, to complete her. Her lips on the juncture between his shoulder and his throat, nipping at the skin, making him growl in pleasure. His large hands completely engulfing her breasts, teasing, massaging, worshipping...His lips on hers, next to her ear, whispering reassurances in her ear as she'd writhed beneath him until the slight pain had abated. When he'd moved the first time, making her moan and rake her nails across his back, moving inside of her until she was screaming, screaming his name, begging him, swallowing his moans in her throat…_

She stops her flow of memories, and opens her eyes, meeting his, dark with lust. His hands are clutching desperately at her wrists, like he so wants to believe what she's shown him.

"That. That was how it was that night. This baby doesn't exist because of violence; it may not have been conceived in love, but it wasn't in hatred, or violence. I wanted you."

"No one could want me." He shakes his head. She growls in frustration, and pulls his face to hers, her lips meeting his and capturing them. He's frozen for a moment, and she pulls away, meeting his eyes again.

"You said that you trusted me. Do you?" She asks. "Because you have no idea how much I want you- even when I was furiously angry with you, I wanted you more than I could bear it!" He kisses her then, fiercely, and she hums into his mouth. This kiss is passion, possessiveness, absolute desire. It pulses through every fiber of her body, and the bond is singing as his hands make contact with her breasts, so swollen and sensitive, making her gasp against his mouth. He smiles, and trails his mouth down after his hands, almost ripping the hospital gown from her body as his mouth locks onto her flesh, and she almost screams it's so good. "Oh Maker! Kylo- Ben!" She hisses throwing her head back. Yes, for weeks of her pregnancy on end she'd felt an insatiable need for this sort of closeness, and no one else's kisses, no one else's hands could ever have felt as good as his did.

"Say it again." He whispers into her flesh, and she arches her back as he dares to trail one of his hands lower.

"Yes- I want you! Oh maker! I want you, only you, only ever you!" She groans, and he kisses her on the lips again. She feels waves of elation and pride coming off of him, followed by possessiveness and desire. "If you stop for any reason, I will never forgive you!" He growls, and pulls her body closer to his, his large hands tracing over the expanse of her stomach and down over her hips to the supple skin of her back and down...down...Her hands can't move fast enough to pull his clothes away from his body, desperate for more. More of him, to taste, to touch, to feel moving against her own flesh. Gone are any thoughts of hesitation, or the fact that she should not be doing this, or embarrassment about her changed body. All there is is him. Him and what his hands are doing to her body. Her breasts brush against his newly bared chest, and he moans into her throat, increasing her pleasure more than she had dreamed possible. She hears the door start to open, and she panics until his hand flies up and it absolutely slams shut, and she can think of no better use of the force.

She pushes him back, and climbs over his lap, his desire for her evident through his dark clothing. He lets her take control, so much differently than the last time, but he uses his hands to bring her pleasure until she's sobbing against his shoulder, and then finally, finally, he enters her body, and she feels nothing except the wholeness, and the delicious, absolute harmony that is being one with him. The bond hums, and seems to surround them in light.

"I love you." He says quietly as he gently bites into her breast, just where he knew it would drive her absolutely mad with pleasure and desire. "Do you believe me?" She can only nod, and let out a quiet whimper as her second release builds and flows through her, leading him to his own extreme pleasure. She collapses against his chest, and he kisses her hair, her ear, her temple, everything he can reach. Her breathing slowly returns to normal, and she twists her body so she can rest her hands on his face again.

"You know it wasn't real- what _it_ showed you, it wasn't really what happened. This…" She rolls her hips against his, and he sucks in a sharp breath through his teeth. "Is what happened. You and I...when we're near each other, something happens. I need you, and you need me. No one hurts each other. No one takes. We only give. Do you believe me?"

"Yes." He whispers, kissing her lips softly. "I won't ever hurt you."

"I know." She smiles at him, and disentangles herself from him to find the clothes she'd come in. They'd be laundered in the night, and she dressed herself in them instead of the hospital gown.

"I asked the nurse to send for some clothes for you." He says, and she's surprised by his thoughtfulness.

"Thank you." She half smiles at him...he can be so kind...but only to her. It's troubling, but if such kindness can come from him, he can surely extend it to others.

"I've prepared a space for you, in my quarters. I...wanted you near to me." He explains, and she feels his eyes boring into her back. "Do you mind?"

"No. That's fine." She nods. "I really, I don't mind, being close to you." Heat floods her face, and she's afraid he'll see it, and comment, but he doesn't. When she turns back around to face him, he's fully dressed, and in perfect order, as if nothing had happened between them. She catches a glimpse of her reflection in the cold metal wall, her hair is completely wild, and her lips are swollen from his kiss. How can he possibly look so good?

"Do you know that you're the most stunning creature I've ever seen?" He asks, coming up to her and putting his still ungloved hands on her face. Her breath hitches in her throat, and she can't understand how his very presence can make her feel this way.

"I'm nothing." She shakes her head. "Nothing special."

"Not to me." He insists, resting his forehead against hers. She pulls back, and grabs tightly onto his shirt.

"What else did Snoke say? He hurt you...He made you think that you were a monster…But what else did he say?"

"I'm allowed to keep you-" He snaps off and grimances. "I'm sorry. That sounded...harsh. He...he wants you to be kept here." her eyes narrow.

"He wants another Skywalker." Her hands tighten their grip. "And you...you're going to deliver it to him?"

"The child is yours." He insists.

"Until it's old enough to be trained to be a monster?" She asks, letting go suddenly and backing away.

"Like me." He finishes her unspoken statement.

"I don't want that." She shakes her head. "I don't want a child who grows up to fight and kill and hate...someone who could be so lost to the darkness that they would willingly kill their own father!"

"Why not? It would be easier for you if I were gone. It would be easier for everyone."

"How can the darkness be back already?!" She growls, throwing her hands in the air. "We've shared something so...beautiful- and you think I don't need you? Shouldn't our bond be proof enough that we need each other? You've told me so many times that we are made for each other- Maker, we created a life together- how much more proof do you need?"

"I don't know...when I touch you…" He lifts his hands, and caresses her cheek. "Everything is so clear...it's so bright...My head is clear. All I can think of is you...and this…" His hand trails to her stomach again.

"Do you want the baby to be owned by your master?" She asks, keeping his hand trapped on her stomach. He looks down into her eyes.

"No. No one owns this child except for you."

"Not you?" She asks, leaning her head to the side in question.

"I want the child completely unsullied by me." He shakes his head.

"Have you sullied me?" She asks.

"What? Of course not...nothing could ruin you. Nothing. You're perfect."

"Then you won't ruin the child. I know that." She insists.

"I...don't know any more."

"Well, I do."


	22. Chapter 22: Memories

"It's...dark." She observes, glancing around his quarters. Dark metal, black bedding, black furniture.

"Did you expect different?" He asks, raising an eyebrow at her. He'd carried her into the room, since Eloriah had said she shouldn't walk great distances, and his quarters were across the ship. Rey had told him just to get a chair, or something, but he'd put on his gloves, and scooped her up in his arms. When he was holding her, the bond was pulsing between them in time with both of their hearts, and she didn't protest it anymore. "I know you like brighter colors. I'll see what I can do."

"It's fine...I've learned not to be picky about material things." She shrugs, and runs her fingers over the black bedding, and feels him come up behind her. "On Jakku, I slept in a gutted At-At. Everything I had was traded for, used, found in the trash heaps, broken and repaired. Things are a luxury, I'm not going to complain about the appearance of them."

"It troubles me that you had to live that way." He says, and she can feel his voice radiate down her body. "And you were only a child."

"Other children had it worse. I managed to stay out of the skin trade." She shrugs. She feels him in her head, feeling through memories, and she lets him.

 _She's just been left in the desert, her skin is red and raw from the sun and the wind. She's alone, afraid and broken hearted. She finds the At-At, and thinks to make a home where no one else has thought to. The first thing she does is scratch fifteen ticks on the wall. Tomorrow, she'll scratch another one._

 _She's ten, and it's Her first territory dispute with another junk trader, an older man who doesn't hesitate to push her from a rather great height. The sickening crack of her arm as the bone snaps on contact with the hard metal of the half gutted ship. A kind old woman in the small market helps set it, binding it tightly in old cloth. It hurts, but she's learned her lesson. And she knows she has to be stronger._

 _A storm has made it impossible to go out and scavenge. She's tried, but she chokes on the sand that flies through the air. Inside the At-At it's at least out of the wind. But the day before the storm had hit had been a bad day. She'd only gotten two portions. At least the cantine is still full. But the storm lasts almost a week...and the bite of hunger in her stomach is painful, but the thirst is worse. She's desperate for water, but she's got a time schedule to make it last, and it's hours before she can take another drink._

 _He's trying to pin her down. His hands are all over her body, and she's fighting with everything that she has, but she knows he's going to win. But she wont give up; no, no, no. She fights, and bites into his hand, knees him between the legs, and he punches her. Her hands scramble for something, anything...It's a long metal bar, and she hits him across the head with force she didn't know she had. He crumples to the floor, and she starts to run, the metal still clutched in her hands. She's amazed by how well it's worked- she'll have to practice with it, but this staff is certainly a promising weapon._

 _She's bathing herself with a wet rag, each of her ribs prominent beneath her fingers. She's covered with sweat and grime, but she's had an excellent day; ten portions! She allows herself to eat a whole one, a luxury, and her stomach is almost painfully full. The rest of the portions are hidden away, to be used in an emergency. She finishes cleaning herself, and looks at her body in some cracked glass that she's collected. She's so thin, but her body isn't weak; she's well muscled, healthier than most of the young women she comes across. But she isn't beautiful; no, maybe she could have been once, but the wind burns and the scars from injuries and constant near starvation have robbed her of beauty. But it doesn't matter. She's alone, and she hopes she will always be alone. It's too difficult otherwise._

"You will never know hunger, never know pain like that again, I swear it." He wraps his arms around her, his hands settling on her stomach. "And this child will never be alone. I know you fear that. I wont let it happen." His hands are trembling, and she puts hers over his gloved ones. She doesn't like the leather, she decides once and for all, and she quickly tugs off one and then the other.

"I want to feel you, if you're going to touch me. Not leather." She says. "I don't want you to hide from me. And you...you promised me once that if you had me, you'd never stop trying to please me. Did you mean that?"

"Yes." She smiles as they gloves fall from her hands and land on the bed. Not an hour ago they'd held ever promise of sickening scars, and now they were perfect, clean and smooth. She'd done that to his hands, maybe, just maybe she could do it to his soul. "You should rest. I'll send for something for you to eat."

"Alright." She nods, and slowly lowers herself onto the bed. It's by far the most comfortable bed she's ever been in. She kicks off her simple gray boots, and curls her legs up beneath herself. He's left the room, and she takes the opportunity to really look around. It's sparsely decorated; a sleek black metal table and metal chair. A closet door, a second door that she assumes leads to his training room. A simple black shelf on the wall opposite of the bed, laden with simple treasures. A few books, a few rocks from different planets, and a small piece of metal, so small you might have missed it. She inclines her head to one side as she looks at it, feeling it's somewhat familiar. She summons it using the force, and when it lands in her hand, the force opens her mind almost painfully.

" _Yeah, that's perfect kid!" Han Solo is laughing, and he ruffles his son's dark curly hair. He's just landed the Falcon for the first time all on his own. He's only eight years old, but he's already got every promise of being as good a pilot as his father. "Whoo, Chewy owes me twenty credits- he said we were going to end up with a crash!"_

" _Did I do a good job dad?" Ben asks anxiously. He just wants to please his father, that's all he's ever wanted._

" _A good job? Kid, you were great!" He says. "You know, I'm proud of you, Ben!" The little boy's emotions swirl around him, he's elated, he's overjoyed! His father is proud, his father is proud, his father is proud! "You know what, I think you need something to remember this by." His father undoes a simple pin that's fastened to his jacket lapel._

" _Your pin?" Ben asks, excitedly._

" _I think you've earned it." Han Solo smiles, and fastens it to his son's collar. "Come on, let's go tell your mom about your success!"_

The memory ends abruptly, leaving her feeling cold. The pin in her hands is simple, threads of gold metal twisted into a somewhat intricate knot. It holds a reminder of a father's pride. A father's love. Affection. And he'd kept it. A sad smile plays across her lips as she lets the pin float back across the room to it's spot on the shelf. Kylo Ren wouldn't have kept that. But Ben Solo would. She leans back against the black headboard, and runs her hands over her stomach, eventually tugging up the shirt.

"He's there. He's still there." She whispers to the baby and to herself. "He'll be good to you, I promise. Nothing will ever hurt you. Not as long as I'm alive. Nothing will ever make me leave you. Nothing." The door opens, and she meets his eyes as he walks in, and then looks back down to her stomach. "I love you, and I will never leave you. I will never abandon you. I don't know how to be a mother, but Maker help me, I will be the best damn mother in the world for you." The bed dips with his weight, and he reaches his hand out tentatively. "You can touch my stomach. Your child is growing there. Yours. Ours." His eyes are alight, and he puts his hand on her stomach. Just like first time, he's in absolute awe. The light washes over him, and he watches in wonder as the very skin of her stomach moves with the baby's movement.

"That's...a foot." He cracks a smile and gently taps the side of her stomach where there is a clear outline of a little foot. She grins at him, and winces when the foot vanishes and rams against her ribcage. "Are you alright?"

"They're just moving a lot today. They're probably fast running out of room." She shrugs. "They like to go for my ribs. Almost every time." It kicks her again, and she laughs. "There it was again!" She feels him watching her curiously. Reveling in the utter joy that she's feeling as her child moves within her. "They're strong."

"Well, look at their parentage." He smirks, and her smile fades a little.

"Right. That Skywalker blood."

"Well, yes. But I was actually thinking of you...Your memories...Rey, you're so much stronger than I could ever hope to be. You're a survivor. You're a fighter. The child...wont be anything less than that." He says, and she briefly remembers Poe saying something similar.

"I don't want them to have to be a fighter. I'd rather they got to be a child. Like I never did." She shakes her head. "It's stupid, with a galaxy at war, your side wants me dead, my side wants you dead...but I've got this image of this child...our child just running through the grass somewhere, laughing, carefree. Never knowing hunger, or pain, or loneliness. Not like we've known." His hand is still lingering on her stomach, and she feels a quiet wave of joy as the image appears in his own mind.

"I want that for them. I want that for you." He whispers.

"Just some bright...beautiful planet of peace." She sighs.

"Somewhere green." He says, and she opens her mind so that he can see the image of green and water. "It's your island. The one I saw on starkiller."

"It's the place...I used to dream that my parents would come to find me, and they'd take me to a place like that. I'd learn how to swim...I'd dance in the rain. I'd be safe and warm. I'd finally have a family. But eventually… I knew they wouldn't be coming for me. But I kept hoping." She doesn't know exactly what it is about him, but she wants to tell him everything.

"I was...alone, a lot. As a child. My mother was always in the Senate, and my...father...he was gone for months at a time. I was with droids a lot." He says.

"Your mother showed me a picture of you, when you were younger." Rey says with a slight smile. He looks sheepish, and she's quick to reassure him. "I thought it was very sweet."

"I can't believe she still has a picture of me." he shakes his head.

"It's actually of you and your father." She says, and his face is paler than it usually is. "Are you upset?"

"Not with you." He shakes his head. A droid comes to the door with a tray that he takes and brings to her, and lifts the lid, revealing an array of fruits, meats, and breads. She smiles, and lifts a small golden fruit to her lips, humming with content when it bursts between her teeth. "Are you pleased?"

"I love fruit- I haven't had much of it, never on Jakku, but when I was training with Luke there were berries...they were so sweet; there was dried fruit, on the base, but this is...amazing." She grins, and feels his heart almost skip a beat as he reacts to her joy.

"Then I'll have to make sure you've got as much fruit as you want every day." He says, making her grin broader still. "I'd like to ask you a question."

"Alright?" She asks warily, taking another bite of a pale green fruit.

"The man from the resistance- who was he?"

"I don't know if I want to answer that...You can just be so...possessive." She says, looking down at her hands. She feels a wave of guilt wash over her as she remembers the sweetness of Poe's kiss, only twenty four hours ago.

"Did you- do you love him?" His voice is strained.

"I wish that I did." She says honestly, looking into his eyes. "He's a good man, and he cared for me. Was willing to help raise my child. And he was handsome, and kind."

"Then why not love him?"

"Because of you- because of the bond. How can I love another man when you're in my head? When your child is literally growing inside of me- when I'd seen so much of your mind, and your heart, and you'd seen so much of me? I wanted to love him, I tried to love him. But it was impossible." She shakes her head. "But it's like Leia told me. You can't help who is in your heart."

"He kissed you."

"More than once." She nods. "And It was nice."

"You were thinking of me." He smirks.

"Don't be full of yourself. Of course I was thinking of you. I'm pregnant with your child." She rolls her eyes.

"Mine…" he says again, shaking his head slightly. "I still don't believe it...you wanted to hide them from me. Have another man raise them."

"I don't know that I wanted to hide them from you as much as from your master." She protests. "Your master, he excited at the idea of this child. Just like he was about you before you were born."

"What are you talking about?" He asks, his brow furrowing.

"Another child of the Skywalker blood. Strong with the force. Within his grasp." Rey explains slowly. "The voice in your memories, Kylo. Who do you think that voice belonged to?"

"It was my grandfather. He said that he was my grandfather." Kylo says simply. "It was my grandfather."

"Ben, that wasn't your grandfather. That was Snoke." Rey says softly, taking his hands.

"You're wrong." He says, shaking his head. "Liar!"

"Ben, look into my eyes. Remember, I don't lie to you. You're in my head. You'd know if I was lying to you." She says. He looks deeply into her eyes, and reaches gently into her mind.

"You're not lying. But that doesn't mean you're right." He says.

"Please, believe me!" She begs, squeezing his hands tighter.

"It was my grandfather." He says, pulling his hands back, and standing. "I know that it was. It has to be!" He grabs onto the back of the metal chair and lets out a fierce roar, throwing the chair into the wall. Rey jumps, her hands flying to her stomach. She wants to get up to comfort him, but her body won't let her. She's curled protectively around her stomach, staring at him intensely, begging him through the bond to relax, flooding him with her light. But there's so much darkness swirling out of his mind that it almost physically hurts her, and she lets out a quiet whimper. His back stiffens, and his hand flies to the hilt of his saber. "I'm going to be training." He disappears through the door, the bond snaps closed, and she's left near tears, curled around herself, and terribly alone.


	23. Chapter 23: Rising Darkness

_**AN: My my my, it seems that our Kylo Ben has a lot to learn about women, doesn't it? Thanks for reading and following and reviewing!**_

He doesn't come out of the training room for the rest of the day, and the door is sound proofed. She's alone, with nothing to do except eat, so she does that. The fruit is delicious, and the bread is the softest she's ever had. She can't help but think of all of the children starving to death on Jakku. The food on this plate is probably more than they'd see in two months, and she was eating because she was bored. Disgusted with herself, she pushes the tray away, and collapses against the bed, deciding she'd rather sleep.

When she wakes, She knows that hours have passed, as she's found a small clock on the bedside table. She can't think of the last time she'd spent hours doing literally nothing. She pushes aside a black curtain, and finds a small viewport. They're still near Hoth, she sees. She had expected to be far from here by now. She turns her back on it, and goes to sit on the floor, no easy task given her changed center of gravity. If she can't do anything else, then she'll meditate.

Breathe in the light.

Exhale the darkness.

The darkness is almost smothering, coming at her from all points, so much different than Ahch-To, where there was an equal balance.

Breathe in the light. She lets it move through her veins, letting it well in all of the familiar places. Her fingers are thrumming with the light, it dances behind her eyes, floods her heart, and swirls around her unborn child.

She exhales the darkness, but not all of it wants to go- it's trying to wrap around the child, to get a feel for it. Her heart beats faster, and she bites her lip as she focuses on the darkness, trying to expel it. But it's strong, oh so strong. It's not the natural darkness that abides alongside the light. It's darkness that's been trained, and manipulated. It's not Kylo, the bond is still shut tight, and she knows that she would recognize his energy.

" _Get out!"_ She screams towards the energy of the darkness.

" _This child belongs to Kylo Ren, and Kylo Ren belongs to me…"_ The voice is quiet, almost soothing. The darkness creeps up her spine, and she feels her whole body begin to tremble as it struggles to keep it at bay. " _Give in to me, my dear...give in to me, and never be alone again…"_ The hold of the darkness tightens around her throat, and she growls.

" _This child...is a Solo!"_ internally she's screaming, biting down on her tongue so hard she almost tastes blood. " _Grandchild of Leia Organa, and Han Solo. Child of the light. My child. And you...will not...have it!"_ With one great push of light, the darkness vanishes, and the lights in the room surge off and on, and she collapses all the way against the floor, breathing heavy, sweat pouring off of her skin.

" _Rey!"_ She hears Ben's voice through the bond, full of concern for her. Her exhaustion is too great, and she can't muster a reply. The bond is fully open again, and she feels him coming closer, he's running. Good. She couldn't have gotten up off of the floor without help anyways. She lifts a trembling hand to her stomach, and feels her child moving, completely unaffected by the darkness. A tear slips down her cheek, because she's done it. She's protected her child, this time at least. Her breathing has just started to return to normal when he bursts in through the front door. "Rey!" He's by her side on his knees within seconds, his hands on her face. The first thing she notices are his gloves back in place, the cold leather making her frown. She lifts her hand, to his, and gently pinches the fabric. "Gloves? Really?" He asks with wide eyes. She arches an eyebrow at him, and he pulls them off.

"Help me up?" She asks, and he does one better. He picks her up in his arms like she weighs nothing at all, and carries her to the bed, keeping her on his lap, in his arms. She rests her head on his shoulder, breathing in his now familiar scent. "Where were you?"

"On the bridge. What happened?"

"When did you leave?" She asks.

"You were sleeping when I came out of my training room. I had to go to see what Hux wanted." He sighs.

"I was worried about you. You closed the bond." She says, running a finger over the scar that trailed down his neck. "You were so angry…"

"I felt your pain when you felt my darkness. I hurt you. I promised not to. I did. I didn't deserve to be connected to you." He says it as if it was simple, but his regret is tangible.

"That was for me to decide." She frowns.

"What happened?" He asks again. "It was like something...exploded. Broke. I couldn't feel anything from you for a minute. You didn't respond to me."

"You'll be angry if I tell you." She shakes her head.

"Tell me." He insists, a bit forcefully.

"I was meditating, and I felt darkness...it was going after my baby. And it spoke to me. It wanted me to give in. Give them my child." She's shaking again.

"Show me." He asks quietly. She lays her hand on his cheek, and pulls him into her mind, letting him hear the voice, knowing it's the same voice he has heard all his life. His back goes rigid and his breathing becomes uneven.

"I told you that I didn't fear you. Only your master. I knew he'd want this child, I knew he'd want it the same way that he wanted you." She breathes, closing her eyes. He sets her on the bed, and gets up to pace the room. She can feel the rage boiling in him.

"You're not hurt?" He asks, still pacing.

"No...Just tired." She assures him, and he nods. His hands are twitching again, and she knows he wants to grab his saber and take out his rage.

"He promised me. He promised me that you were mine." He growls. "I've earned this. After everything I've done, I've earned this!"

"Ben...please, calm down." She says, keeping her voice even.

"He promised me that once Han Solo was dead, it would be easier! But this...this is a stronger pull than anything I've ever felt before." He's back in front of her again, his hands on her face. She stares at him with wide eyes, unable to think of any way to break his trance. "He told me that I should have killed you on Starkiller. He told me that I should kill you now...But another Skywalker is too promising, Especially when I've been such a disappointment. I know what that means. He'd rather have this new child than me, someone he can mould from birth. Someone who he can train to kill me, like he trained me to kill my father!" He stumbles backwards as if he's been hit by a blaster.

"Ben." She says softly. She goes to him, and his hand comes to her throat.

"What have you done to me?!" He asks, his voice pained. She swallows nervously, the lines of her throat pressing on his palm, but his hold is still gentle. He stares at her with wild eyes, and then his breathing slowly evens out, and he draws his hand away as if burnt. "What have I done?"

"Shh." She soothes, and wraps her arms around his neck. "Please, come back to me." His arms slowly rise up to wrap around her, and he buries his face in her hair. It takes a moment for her to realize that he is sobbing into her neck, silent sobs that wrack his entire body.

"I'm tired. Im tired of it all." He says, and she clutches at him even tighter. "I should have died on Starkiller. Me. Or Luke should have killed me when he had the chance."

"No...please...don't." She shakes her head, and presses her lips next to his ear. "Do you remember what I told you once? I can't bear the thought of you not existing. Please." She doesn't quite know what she's asking him for, but she holds him fast.

"I don't deserve that. I've done...horrible things. I killed women and children. I killed my own father." He hisses, still shuddering. She just holds him, and rakes her fingers through his hair until his breathing slowly starts to even out.

"When was the last time you slept?" She asks, not releasing him for a moment.

"I don't know. Not that long ago." It's easy to catch his lie this time.

"Ben…" She scolds softly.

"The night before Hoth." He admits. She tries to stand up and pull him with her, but her stomach is in the way again. He reads her feelings and stands, bringing her up with him. She keeps her eyes fixed to his as she carefully removes his shirt, and he lifts up his arms to pull it off. She takes his hand, and pulls him to his bed, making him lie back. "Rey…"

"Shh." She shakes her head, and climbs into the bed beside him. Without a thought, he pulls her into his arms and her head rests gently on his chest. Her heartbeat is out of control now. She scolds herself; she's made love to him twice. All this is is lying in a bed, mostly clothed. But somehow it feels more intimate than sex. It's...comfortable, consoling, warm, almost easy. It's everything she'd enjoyed in Poe's presence, but it was even more than that. Under the comfort, under the security of it all was passion, desire, primal need that neither could understand or explain. He falls asleep, and she falls asleep soon after, lulled by his even breathing and his steady heartbeat. She has beautiful, colorful dreams in his arms.

But she wakes up a few hours later utterly alone.


	24. Chapter 24: No More Running

She hasn't seen him for three days. Droids bring her trays laden with fruits and other delicacies, including desserts so sweet, she's never heard of them before. The only time she leaves the room is when Eloriah comes to bring her to the medbay. The clothes arrive on the fourth day, mostly dresses, to her dismay, but she has to admit they're more comfortable than the clothes she's used to wearing. The fabric is soft as air between her fingers, against her skin, breathable, feminine in a way she never thought that she could be.

But more exciting than that is the machinery that arrives with the clothes. It's so simple, a technology that has existed for ages, but it's the most wonderful in the world as far as Rey is concerned. The wand probes her skin, and there's a baby on the screen. Her baby. Not an abstract image, but hands and legs, and feet, an image so clear that she wants to trace her fingers over it. The baby wiggles, and a soft swishing sound feels the room.

"And that, Rey, is the heartbeat." Eloriah says, twisting a dial to amplify the sound. Her hand flies to her mouth as she tries in vain to keep torrents of tears from falling.

"It's all worth it." She says quietly, biting her lip.

"Everything is looking great, Rey! Baby is lowering into perfect position for birth, you haven't had any more contractions?"

"No, none." She shakes her head.

"Excellent." The nurse observes. "And how are you?"

"Oh, I'm fine." Rey shrugs.

"Really?" She lifts an eyebrow, and taps her pencil against her notepad.

"I am...a bit lonely." Rey sighs. "I was on my own for such a long time, but I always had so much to do, and then, at the Base, I had a lot people all the time...here, there's nothing, and no one. I'm not used to it."

"But surely Master Ren is attending to you?"

"I'm fed, and clothed. I'm safe."Rey says, and Eloriah's face scrunches as she thinks. "What?"

"I'm surprised that he isn't...Well, no, it's nothing. Never mind." She shakes her head.

"No, please, what were you going to say?" Rey asks.

"Well, only that we've been in space for days on end, no Resistance activity, not much to attend to...with the way he looked at you, I'm surprised he hasn't spent every minute with you." She says lightly, and Rey frowns. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything."

"No, that's alright. If you weren't around to talk to me, I think I'd go crazy." Eloriah smiles sadly at her, and gives her hand a gentle squeeze.

"I'll give you a minute to get dressed, then we can walk back."

"Right." When she's left, Rey grabs the simple forest green dress she'd been wearing, and removes the hospital gown. She reaches out through the bond for the hundredth time in four days, feeling just the lightest thrum of activity. " _Ben? Ben?"_ She calls softly, and she senses him there with her, though he doesn't respond. Her brow furrows, and her fingers twist in the green fabric she's still holding. " _Did I do something wrong?"_

" _No!"_ She lets out a sigh of relief at the sound of his voice.

" _Then why aren't you with me?"_ She asks, her voice imploring. " _I heard the heartbeat...I thought that you would have wanted to hear that...You weren't here."_

" _I'm sorry."_

" _You said that you loved me, but you've abandoned me."_ She accuses carefully. He's frustratingly silent again, and she angrily pulls the dress on over her head. " _Fine. Close me out. I don't care."_ She opens the door with a press of a button, and storms out.

"Rey- hold on a second, I'll walk with you, if you just give me a second!" Eloriah calls from behind the desk.

"I can find my own way!" She growls, and reaches out through the bond again. He's certainly in the direction of his quarters. She walks as swiftly as she can, and opens the door to the room. It's empty, but his presence is almost tangible beneath her fingertips. The training room. THus far she's stayed clear of it, giving him the space, but her anger is too great. She forces the door open with a wave of her hand, storms in, and stops suddenly. He's shirtless again, and going against a swarm of training droids with his sparking saber. The training droids are set at their most difficult, wielding two long blades, spinning them violently. But Kylo dances around them easily, a smirk on his face, as if he's enjoying it. He's powerful, his muscles rippling across his back that's riddled with scars. He takes them out one by one, until, Finally, he slams his lightsaber through the chest of the last droid, and it falls onto the ground with a loud clang. He turns around to face her, and runs a hand over his hair.

"You're back."

"I'm back? Where the hell have you been?" She asks, crossing her arms over her chest. "I was afraid...I thought you were done with me."

"Done with you?" He asks, his eyes narrowing.

"I don't know. You've had me. Maybe I bored you. I know you've had...others." She blushes as she speaks, looking down at her feet- or rather, she would be if she could see past her stomach. "And I don't claim to have any experience with that sort of thing, I'm sure they knew better how to keep your interest-" Suddenly he's so close, she feels the hard muscle of his stomach pressed to her body, his hands grip her arms just above the elbows, a gentle grip, but he holds her fast.

"They were _nothing_ like you. They were _nothing."_ His voice is thick with emotion. "It was only physical, and most of the time, I didn't know their names. It was empty. It made me feel empty...you, you make me feel _everything."_

"Then why are you staying away from me?" She asks, her hands sliding up his chest. "I've been...so lonely."

"I'm sorry." he breathes, and leans his forehead against hers.

"And you were afraid that I was going to close the bond." She laughs lightly. "I just don't understand- you've been begging me to come back to you, _begging,_ and now that Im here, you won't talk to me, you've avoided me for four days, avoided your own quarters. If you're not...displeased with me, then why?"

"Because I don't deserve you!" His fingers tighten slightly around her arms. "I've never deserved you. But it's clear to me now...I'm a monster. I can't keep the darkness out, but you can. You're all light, Rey. My darkness, it brings you down. It hurts you. It could destroy you. The best thing I can do is keep my distance."

"I've not been a child for as long as I can remember. No one makes decisions for me except for me. You don't get to decide what's best for me. Only I can." Her hands travel up and her fingers thread together behind his neck. "And there's something in the universe that wants us together- the Force, clearly, but maybe...maybe I want us together, too."

"Rey, no…" he shakes his head.

"No. No! You don't get to be the only one to make this choice." She growls.

"I'm a murderer. A monster. I've killed so many people." His eyes are hollow, and it frightens her.

"And I tried to kill you." Rey shrugs. "I don't understand your darkness, I don't pretend to. But I know it isn't all that you have in you. The light is there, if you would just grab on to it-"

"It's too late for that!" He tries to pull away, but she holds him fast.

"Do you want to be with me? You...you said you wanted me." Her insecurities well up inside of her.

 _My parents left me. They didn't want me. I am unwanted, Unlovable. I should have been better. Then they would have wanted me. Of course he doesnt want you- you're fat, and ugly, probably boring in Bed- No one could ever want me, stupid, I'm so stupid-_

"Rey- no, damn it, that's not true!"

"Then why?" She asks, looking up at him with tear rimmed eyes.

"I don't want to hurt you. I'm protecting you." He insists. "I'm poison. Look what I did to my father- and what that did to my mother!"

"Look what you're doing to me by staying away!" She insists. He growls in frustration, and kisses her, making her heart beat wildly. Her hands move to his hair, keeping his lips locked against hers as his hands grip into the fabric of her skirt, gathering a handful of it at each hip.

"Is this what you want?" He asks between gentle nibbles on her throat. She whimpers- oh, she knows she shouldn't want this, she can't solve all of their problems by jumping into bed with him, but she can't think of anything else she would rather do. Her body reacting to him more than it ever has before, and the bond floods open. She sees his thoughts, driven by lust and wild need, imagining hiking up her skirt and taking her against the wall, and it drives her mad for him.

"Please!" She gasps, and he picks her up. It's no easy feat, but she wraps her legs around his waist as they move out of the training room and back to his bed where he lays her down almost reverently. His hands slowly move the green fabric up her legs, enjoying the feel of each and every inch of her skin and the silky fabric. "Wait!" She says suddenly, and he freezes, his eyes full of fear of rejection. She props herself up on her elbows, and looks into his eyes. "If we do this, there's no more pulling away from me. We communicate. We let eachother in. Okay?"

"Yes." He says softly.

"Promise me. Please. No more running." She asks, her chest heaving.

"I promise."

"Kiss me." She insists, and he hovers over her gently, kissing her lips with every ounce of emotion he had in him. Her lips form into a smile around his as her hand trails down to the waistband of his pants. He catches her arm and pulls away from her, leaving her wide eyed and confused. "What are you-"

"This time, I'm going to take my time with you." He says with a half smile that's so devastatingly handsome that her heart flutters. "Let me show you how much I love you." He almost begs, and warmth pools in her stomach.

"Yes." She nods breathlessly. The last coherent thought she has is that the feel of his lips and tongue on her thighs is overwhelmingly beautiful; but when his mouth moves higher, she can't even remember her own name.


	25. Chapter 25: Light Rises

_**AN: Hello beautiful readers! I love your reviews and your favorites and follows! I can't wait to share more with you!**_

 _You let it take you in…_

She's dreaming, she knows that she's dreaming. But something about the dream is off, tinged with darkness. That voice is too familiar, though she's never seen the source of it. She's standing in a meadow, but the sky is turning black.

 _You let the prince of darkness have you, like the filthy Jakku scavenger slut that you are…_

She whips around, trying desperately to find the source of the voice.

 _What's his is mine...his child is mine...now you are mine…_

Her hands fall to her stomach, and it's flat- not only flat, but startling, achingly empty, as if she's not eaten for days. She tries to scream, but her voice is gone.

 _It's only a matter of time, Scavenger Slut...just give in...give into the darkness...it would be so easy now… join us, and never be alone...you'll never be alone…_

It's a dream, she reminds herself over and over again. It's a dream. It's a dream, it's a dream, it's a dream. Only it's not. She knows he's there, in her head again.

 _No matter what you decide, the child belongs to me. To the darkness._

Finally, she lets out a mighty roar, and summons her lightsaber from out of nowhere. But there's still nowhere to turn, no figure to fight.

 _Your friends in the Resistance will die...Luke Skywalker will die...Leia Organa will die. Just like Han Solo. Just like his son-_

She screams, and pierces through her own chest with the saber, but it doesn't hurt.

"You underestimate Luke Skywalker, Ben Solo, and me." She finally finds her voice, and her eyes fly open as she gasps.

"Rey? Rey, are you alright?" Ben asks, wrapping his arms around her. She's relieved, so relieved that he's still here with her. She'd been half afraid that he'd be gone when she woke up. SHe tucks her face into the crook of his neck, and lets out a shuddering breath. "I saw…I heard…" Yes, the bond had been open. He could have seen it all. He'd been awake then. Rey found that he rarely slept.

"Who did you hear?" She asks.

"Snoke. That was him." Ben says, his voice growing harder as his concern for her wanes. "He threatened you. Threatened the child."

"Yes." Rey nods. He's seeing. He's seeing!

"He didn't know I was there. He's strong, but he's grown careless. He's missing things. He didn't see our bond. He didn't sense this new life. He is too confident in his powers." Ben says, his hand falling to the smooth skin of her stomach. "He wont take you from me. He won't take you, he won't take the child."

"But will he take you from me?" She asks, lifting her hand to cradle his chin. "Will you let me go and keep going on?"

"No. Never again." He dips his face down to kiss her temple. "I belong to you, as long as you want me for." She's a bit taken aback by the fact that he's essentially given himself to her instead of saying that she belonged to him.

"Then you'll never leave me." She insists, letting him kiss her. "I've already marked you as mine- see?" She teases gently, tracing her finger over the scar on his face.

"I've been marked as yours for my entire life. I just didn't know it yet." He says, and she smiles.

"You want me, really want me?" She asks shyly.

"You're the only thing I'm sure about anymore." He insists. "I promise you, I'll keep you safe. I just have to figure out how."

" _We_ have to figure out how. This is for our child. It's our responsibility." She says, resting her hand on his heart.

"I won't let either of you be put in harms way." He shakes his head.

"We're strong together, Ben. Apart, he may destroy us, but together…" She lifts his hand, and presses it to her heart, letting him feel the way it's beating in time to his. "The force is with us."

"He'll be watching you- watching us closely now. He knows he's missed things now." He sighs, laying his head back. "He's underestimated you, though. He didn't think you'd be able to keep him out, and now you've done it twice."

"A few months ago I wouldn't have been able to; I suppose my training has paid off." She shrugs. "It's exhausting, though, keeping him out. I don't know if I'll always be able to."

"You will. You'll get stronger." He insists.

"I don't know. I can keep meditating, but without Master Luke to guide me...I just don't know."

"Then we have to get you back to him."

"What? No! You...you promised, you were mine, that you wouldn't send me away!" She insists, her panic setting in.

"Sh, no, Rey, my love, that's not what I meant." He soothes, tracing patterns along her arms with his long fingers. "We need to get away from here. Both of us."

"B-both of us?" She asks hopefully, not daring to look at him. "Don't agree if you don't mean it. I couldn't cope if you went back on this."

"I promise you, I mean it." he swears. "I don't know what happened...but the darkness...it's lost it's appeal. I felt the light for the first time in years when I touched you for the first time on Starkiller- it was...intoxicating. It's been growing since then. I tried to deny it...but Snoke has crossed every line. Lied to me. Threatened you. Threatened the child. He said that he was showing me the way to freedom, to ultimate power, but before you came, I was emptier than I had ever been."

"My poor Ben…" She slowly sits up, keeping the blanket tucked up around her chest, and leans against the headboard.

"Don't. Everything I did… I chose to do. Snoke may have been influencing me, but I believed him. I wielded the lightsaber that ended countless lives. I ordered executions. I killed my own father." She feels the regret and shame pouring from his soul. "There is nothing I can do to make up for that. There is nothing I can do to right these wrongs, nothing I can do to be worthy of you."

"But you're willing to try?" She asks, and he sits up next to her.

"I'll never stop trying." She drapes her arm across his chest, and presses a soft kiss to his neck. His arms circle her waist, and come to rest on her stomach, feeling the child move.

"I wish I could talk to your mother- I know she must be worried about me." Rey says after a content moment. "And she would be willing to help us. She still loves you, I can see it in her eyes. She loves you, and she's never stopped hoping that you'd come back. Even after Starkiller, she never stopped hoping."

"There is a way you might be able to...but I don't know. " He runs his hand over his face. "When I was child, I had a strong connection to her; I could reach her from great distances, she could reach me. I shut her out after I went to the academy. I haven't tried to reach her in almost nineteen years. I'm not sure I'll be able to...I haven't used the light in so long."

"Let's try it- together!" Rey gasps, taking his hands in her own.

"I don't want to disappoint you."

"Use my light- you said my light was strong! Use it, please!" She insists.

"I will try. But again, please, don't be too hopeful. I really don't know if I'll be able to reach her, if she'll even let me speak to her." He grabs onto her hands tightly, and closes his eyes. She does the same, and lets her breathing match the pace of his. She recognizes the rhythm. Breathing in the light, breathing out the darkness. His breathing is a bit ragged, but she squeezes his hands, willing him to take use her light. It wells into him, and she feels the power pulsing through him. She's seen and felt his power when he wields the darkness, but wielding the light, it's entirely different, and more powerful than she could ever have imagined. It's almost overwhelming, because not even Luke's powers had been so great. How could he be strong with something he had not practiced in nearly twenty years?

" _Mother? Are you here? Can you hear me? Mother?"_

Even in his mind, his voice breaks when he says "mother". She squeezes his hands tighter.

" _Mother? Mama...please...I, I have Rey with me. She wants to talk to you. Please, let her. Please, don't ignore her because of me."_ He's begging now, desperate to give Rey what she wants. " _I'm sorry. Mama, please."_

" _Ben?"_ Rey can't help but gasp when she hears Leia's voice as clear as a bell.

" _Mama…"_ He says softly, unable to say anything else.

" _What's going on? Where's Rey?"_

" _I'm here, Leia. I'm with Ben."_ Rey says, and she senses the woman's surprise.

" _Rey! Thank Goodness you're alive! We sent Chewy to Luke for you, and he hadn't seen you. We thought...we assumed the worst."_ Leia's voice wavers a bit.

" _I'm alright. The baby is alright. THe ship was shot down...I opened the bond, and Ben came to save me."_ Rey explains.

" _Then he knows…"_ Leia's happiness is laced with trepidation.

" _He knows everything."_ Rey says, squeezing his fingers as a show of support. " _And hes found the light."_

" _I knew he must have- I hoped- I could feel him again, stronger than ever- and when he reached out for me...Ben? Son…"_

" _Yes, mother, I'm here."_

" _My boy…"_ She sighs, reaching out through the bond. " _My poor boy."_

" _I'm so sorry."_

" _I know. This isn't the time to talk about that. Some day, face to face, but not now."_ She quiets him down. " _Right now, we need to figure out how to get Rey home."_

" _Us. How to get us home."_ Rey corrects her softly.

" _Both of you? Ben...You're...you want to come home?"_

" _More than anything."_ Leia goes quiet for a moment, and Rey's afraid she'd left.

" _How do I know this isn't a trick?"_

" _Because I trust him, Leia."_ Rey says firmly. " _With my life."_

" _Well, I can't ask for a better recommendation than that."_ Leia says, a slight smile in her voice. " _Is it safe for you to leave? Is there any way?"_

" _I don't know yet. But I will figure something out. I promise. Rey and the baby will be back with you soon."_ Rey feels another chill run down her spine.

" _Don't go giving up on yourself. Not when you're finally coming back to me."_ Leia says firmly. " _Give me a day. Let me see what I can work out with the others."_

" _I don't come back unless Ben is guaranteed safety."_ Rey says, and this time Ben squeezes her hands. __

" _I'll do everything I can. People won't like it."_ Leia sighs.

" _I have more information about the First Order than a thousand spies could gather in a hundred years."_ Ben offers.

" _And you would...give it up?"_ Leia asks.

" _Yes."_

" _You meant it, then. You're trying to make amends?"_ Leia's voice is so full of hope.

" _I've promised Rey that I'll spend the rest of my life trying to be worthy of her light. I keep my promises."_

" _Yes, I remember."_ She can hear the smile in Leia's voice.

" _And I have a lot to make up to you, mother. Things I can never make up to you. But I'll try."_

" _I know you will."_ Those four words of good faith almost bring Ben to tears. " _Give me until tomorrow night. I'll try to find a way."_

" _Leia- are Finn and Rose...and Poe, are they alright?"_ Rey asks before she slips away.

" _They're all doing well; Poe got a few burns on Hoth, but he's healing quickly. They've all been terribly worry about you."_ Leia says gently. " _They'll be so glad to hear that you're alive. We'd all feared the worst. But not Finn, he never thought for a minute that you'd give up so easily."_

" _He's smart. But don't tell him I said that."_ Rey smirks. " _And Luke?"_

" _He's come back."_ Rey starts, almost shattering the connection. " _When Chewy came back without you, he brought Luke. He said it was time. That he would help find you. He was sure you were alive. He felt it. So did I...but Sometimes, it's hard to remember how to hope."_

" _I know."_ Rey nods. " _We'll all be together soon."_

" _I hope so."_ Leia says. " _Until tomorrow."_

" _Tomorrow."_ Rey confirms.

" _Son?"_ Leia asks after a moment, and Ben stiffens.

" _Yes?"_

" _You're wrong. I have never hated you. I have always loved you. You're my son. Nothing you did could change that."_ She breaks the connection before he can respond. Rey opens her eyes, and meets his, glimmering with tears.

"I told you." She whispers, taking his face in her hands. She kisses him softly. "I told you."

"I'll make everything right for you. For you, for my mother, for your child. I'll make everything right, so that you can have your dream. I'll take you somewhere green, where you can dance in the rain. I swear it." He says, pressing his forehead to hers. "I love you." She smiles, and kisses his cheek, tasting the salt from the few tears that had escaped.

"I know."


	26. Chapter 26: There Was Always Hope

AN: _ **And a second chapter! Here you go!**_

She loves the way that his skin feels against hers as they curl up beside each other, leaning on his jet black headboard. She loves his hands, how gentle they are as they caress her skin, often landing on her stomach, and then quickly withdrawing. She frowns at this, but tries not to let it bother her. She runs her fingers gently over the skin of his arms, finding them riddled with scars that she traces absently before she really looks at them. Deep cuts. Some long healed and the same pale color as his skin, some seem fresh.

"What are these?" She asks, turning a bit to face him.

"Nothing." He shakes his head, and tries to pull his arm away, to distract her somehow.

"Ben? What are these?" She asks again, keeping her hands firmly wrapped around his wrists. She'd seen so many of his scars by now; how had she never noticed these ones before? "Were these a punishment?"

"Of a sort." He says quietly, looking away from her. She looks at them again; they're all so similar. Short, jagged marks, no more than an inch long, some of them crisscrossing, as if they've been layered over time and time again, like he'd been making tick marks to count something, and he'd run out of space. Like the marks she'd made on the wall of the old At-at, exactly like the tick marks from the at-at. "What were you counting?" She asks, and he looks at her with wide eyes. "You did this- to keep track."

"Yes."

"Of what?" She asks desperately.

"Deaths." He says quietly,

"What?" She feels the conflict radiating in him. Wanting to tell her, but afraid to do so. "Ben, please, tell me. I promise not to hate you. But I need to know. Please?" She feels his resolve growing, knowing that he will give her anything that it was within his power to give. "I just- I hate the idea of you in pain, and you did this to yourself...I've got to know why. Please."

"When I first came to Snoke I was...There was still too much light in me. SOmetimes, I couldn't...I couldn't do the things he wanted me to. I could justify killing people who were fighting against the First Order, he had me so convinced, But killing women, children, bystanders...That, that I couldn't justify. So he'd punish me for it. Every time I didn't kill one of them, A lash, with one of his guard's whips." She gasps, and reaches to put her hands on his back, gently pushing him so that she can see the muscular planes of it. She'd felt the scars under her fingertips, but she hadn't thought to look at them before, not really. There were fresh ones, she knew from lightning. But lower on his back were scars, stretched from years of growth, dozens of them, crisscrossing.

"Oh my dear Ben…" She sighs, and leans forwards to kiss the scars gently.

"No- don't. I don't deserve that."

"But Ben-"

"No, you haven't heard the rest of the story." He says, and pulls out of her grasp. "The whipping was...damaging. But the words were worse. He'd tell me he was disappointed. That I would never be like my grandfather. That I wasn't worth his time. That he'd chosen wrong...by then he was all I had left. I'd disappointed so many people. I couldn't...He told me that if I ever tried to go back, if my Uncle and my parents ever found me, They'd kill me. He was all I had. So I finally did what he commanded. He rewarded me for it. But it felt wrong- it was wrong. I felt like I should have been punished, but instead I was given rewards. Better quarters. More time training. Even women. So I punished myself. One mark for every innocent life I took. I kept that up for six, maybe seven years. Then I was numb. I didn't care anymore. I was too lost. Ben Solo felt like a dream. I threw myself into my training. I killed who I had to."

"You say you haven't done it in years, but some of these scars are fresh." Rey says cautiously. "Why?"

"It was after...After Starkiller. After I found you. Everything started to feel wrong then. Even killing the Rebels that Snoke had spent years convincing me were murderers and traitors was wrong. So I...I started to keep track again." She stares at the scars on his arms. There are hundreds, each of them symbolizing the end of a life by his hands. His hands that touched her, loved her, worshipped her so gently. How could they have wrought such horrors? She'd seen him do it. She'd seen him kill his own father. She knew what those hands were capable of, but she couldn't reconcile her Ben with the man who'd done those things.

But could she really blame him? How many beatings could a man take before he'd give in? Not even a man; he'd only been a boy then. A boy who spent every day being told he wasn't good enough. That his family hated him. That he was nothing. That he would never be able to go home. That light was a weakness. How could anyone keep their spirit from breaking under such conditions? And it hadn't even been confined to the years that he had spent in Snoke's grasp- she remembers Luke telling her that Snoke had been there since Ben had been conceived. And the voice in Ben's head, since his childhood.

She looks at the scars again in a different light. Each mark represented a moment where Ben Solo had been there, capable of remorse, capable of guilt, of knowing right or wrong. He'd all but vanished for a long time, but the fresh scars were tangible evidence that he'd come back. She leans in and kisses the scars on the inside of his wrists, and down to his elbow.

"I don't...I don't deserve this, please…" Ben says, shaking his head, his whole body trembling.

"You came back." She says simply. "I wish that I could get rid of each and every scar, the ones on your skin, and the ones on your soul...yes, I can feel them there too. I can't change the past, but I'll spend the rest of my life healing each and everyone one."

"Rey…" He's at a loss for words, so she kisses him, desperately trying to communicate how she felt for him. His hands are still shaking as they move up to hold her face gently. "I don't deserve you."

"Maybe not. But you have me. Forever." She says simply, kissing his cheek.

"Forever?" He asks, almost afraid to be hopeful.

"And not a second less." She insists. His lips are on hers again before she can say another word.


	27. Chapter 27: I Love You

The bliss had lasted a week. An entire week of making love, of learning everything about each other, holding each other, and reveling in what it was to be wanted. But the bliss had ended sharply when he'd been called away to see his master, and had come back to her with a plan that had infuriated her beyond belief.

She hates that they're fighting. It tears her apart, feeling his anger, directed at her, her anger, directed at him. She hates that the anger stems from his desire to protect her, but she absolutely won't listen to him this time. Not after the week of bliss that they had shared before he'd been summoned to see the Supreme leader.

"That is out of the question!" She crosses her arms over her chest.

"Rey, please!" He begs, kneeling before her where she's seated on the edge of his bed. "It's the only way!"

"No. Absolutely not. I won't leave you. I won't." She shakes her head. "You can't make me."

"Don't you see? It's the only way!" He takes her hands, still wearing his gloves, and it only makes her angrier. "The best chance we have to kill him, to end his reign is me. If I leave, we lose the never get another one. Once it's done I'll find you, I swear. And we'll be together, like I promised you."

"We agreed to do these things together, Ben. We're stronger together. You can't banish me from your side. I won't go." She shakes her head.

"You say that you trust me. Why don't you believe I can do this?" He asks, almost growling.

"That's not it! Ben, I can't...I can't do this without you. NOt anymore." She admits, her voice trembling. "I need you. And you're suggesting that you walk into a death trap, willingingly."

"He won't see it coming, Rey. I had a vision. I am going to kill him. THis is the way!" He insists. "Just listen to me."

"No."

"Just listen." She remains silent, and he sighs in relief. "I'll get you out of here, You escape, you get to the Resistance. He'll summon me when he finds out, he'll expect me to be unstable. He'll want punish me, for being careless. But he doesn't know how powerful I've become since our force bond was made. I've hidden it from him, I've let him hurt me. But now...Now that I've found the light again, I know that I can do this. I will do this, for you."

"And you would be free." Rey adds, lifting her eyes to meet his. "The dark would lose it's grip on you forever."

"Yes!" He insists.

"When?" She asks, closing her eyes.

"Next week, we're going to be close to the coordinates that my mother gave us. With a small ship with a scrambled code, you'll be able to get to them before anyone realizes you're gone."

"But what will happen to you if you succeed? He has an honor guard. The rest of the knights of Ren...Hux, and all of the forces...what will they do to you?" She asks.

"Rey, I'm the Master of the Knights of Ren. I'm Snokes apprentice. If he dies, I become Supreme leader." He explains slowly. "Well...that's not necessarily the order of things, it's never been discussed, but people fear me; rather, they're wary of the force. They won't want to run the risk of angering me. I will be the Supreme leader."

"And if you're the supreme leader…"

"I can command the entire First Order. I could end this whole damn things- I will end it, for you. For your baby." He finishes for her, and she kisses him.

"Promise me that you can do this. Promise me that you can come back to me. To us." She begs, dragging her lips to his ear.

"I promise you. I promise." He vows.

"Take your damn gloves off." She insists, and he complies quickly. She hums in delight at the feeling of his hands skimming across the bared skin of her arms. "When we're out of here, you're never wearing these again!"

"I'll burn them, if that's what you want." She catches his face in her hands, and runs her thumb over his perfect lips.

" _You_ are what I want. You and this baby...I finally have a family. Somewhere I belong. I...You know that I love you, don't you?" She asks, and his eyes glimmer. His lips curl into a smile, and he catches her hand to kiss her palm. "I love you." She says plainly this time. "I love you, and I have since the beginning, but I was...I was so scared of what that meant."

"And now?" He asks hopefully.

"I know what you've done...and it's difficult, to come to terms with some of those things. I don't know that I ever will. But you are trying so hard to make amends, you're trying to become the sort of man you were always supposed to be, and I'm so proud of you." She smiles as he starts to gently kiss his way up her arm. "If I were to lose you now-"

"Now that you love me? There is nothing that could take me away from you." He insists against the skin of her elbow.

"Don't make promises that you can't keep." Death. Snoke. A wayward rebellion soldier. All of those things could take him away from her. But damn it, she was so close to real happiness for the first time in her life.

"Believe in me, Rey." He begs. "I can do anything for you. I will do anything for you."

"Then you'd better hurry up and kiss me." She instructs, and he rises up higher to reach her mouth.

"As my love wishes." He smirks, and kisses her thoroughly. They go slowly, knowing that they only have a week left before their impending separation. A short separation, Rey reminds herself, tells herself, begs her mind to believe it.

But she'd been left with a promise before, and that had left her hollow and miserable for so many years. And now that she knows what it is truly like to feel complete, to feel cherished, wanted, needed, loved...She doesn't think she can live without it again.


	28. Chapter 28: The Best Laid Plans

_**AN: Your reviews always make me want to share more with you! Thanks so much everyone who takes the time to do so! Please enjoy another chapter!**_

She has to go tonight. She knows that. But she clings onto him every time he tries to leave her side. She treats each kiss as if it might be the last that they share, each gentle touch as a disappearing wonder. He's hurting too, she can feel it through the bond. He doesn't want her to go, but if he's going to be able to complete his task, he needs her somewhere he knows that she can be safe. He needs her to be with someone who can protect her. As much as he hated to admit it, he'd even told her that he'd feel much safer if she were with Skywalker. She hates that he feels that she can't protect herself, but being less than a month away from giving birth, she knows she wouldn't be at her best in a fight. Against an ordinary man, she could hold her own, the force giving her an edge, but if anyone with any force training came after her, she didn't know that she'd be able to manage.

"I really do have to make an appearance on the bridge, or they'll be suspicious." Ben says, having finally managed to get dressed after being kept in bed by her all morning. Not that he'd ever complained.

"I know." She sighs. She's thrown on a light grey dress, and she's leaning her shoulders against the wall, her fingers gently kneading into her lower back.

"Is your back still bothering you?" He asks, coming up to her and moving her hands aside and replacing them with his large ones.

"A bit. I'm fine. It's actually probably good that you have to go. I probably could do with a lie down...where I'm actually resting." She blushes, and he kisses her forehead. "Hurry back to me."

"Always." He kisses her on the lips, only briefly, and then he goes. She sighs, and goes back to the bed.

"Ooh!" She lets out a sharp breath, and feels the strange cramping tightening feeling again. She runs her hands over her stomach, and settles on the edge of the bed. "What are you up to little one?" She asks quietly. Slowly, she swings her feet up onto the bed, and leans back against the pillows. He's added more of them since she started sleeping there, learning that she liked them. She can't help but smile at how thoughtful he can be. More and more, he's becoming like himself, like the man that Leia had told her she had hoped her son would be, and she loves him for it.

But something weighs heavy on her mind. Something she'd hidden from the bond.

It's the way he speaks about the baby. In the first few days he'd been obsessed with the idea that it was his, theirs, "ours", but as time had progressed, he'd spoken of it as little as possible, and then mostly because she brought it up, and because he knew how important it was to her. He'd long since ceased to call it his, always calling it "hers". Suddenly, what she'd seen in his mind as they had come to the ship echos through her own mind, as clear as if he were thinking them again.

 _Nothing good can come from me...I am darkness….I'm evil, death, destruction, but it's all her light...It must be Perfect like her. It has to be! No trace of me. No one could love me..._

Did he still think that? Was he...was he afraid to ruin the child? Was he afraid that even claiming the child as his own would somehow harm them? She frowns. Had the years of Snoke's poisoning his mind left him without the ability to see himself as worthy of something as natural as fatherhood?

Or was it due to the fact that he had killed his own father?

Or because he doesn't know how to be a father? He'd told her that Han Solo had been gone for months at a time.

Or did he just not want the child, but tolerated the idea of it because she wanted it so badly? That thought hurts most of all. If he didn't want the baby, what would she do? This baby was so important to her- more important than her own life, and it had only grown in importance as she had fallen hopelessly in love with Ben. It was not just hers, no, it was part of her, and a part of her beloved, combined together into a new life, a bright light. How could he not want it?

She rolls a bit to the side, trying to find a way to get comfortable, but the ache in her lower back only seems to get worse. She desperately wants to take advantage of this time to sleep; she has to fly tonight, and she wants to spend every second she can with Ben. He'll be on the bridge for at least an hour, he always is. But sleep won't come. Her inner turmoil mixes with the irritation that is her back pain, and she just tosses and turns. She feels him soothing at the edge of the bond, trying to lull her into a state of calm. She relaxes into it, and takes a steady breath as she feels her heartbeat slow to match the tempo of his.

" _Go to sleep my love. Relax…"_ His voice is compelling, but sleep doesn't come. " _Is something wrong?"_

" _Why?"_ She asks warily, pulling herself into a sitting position.

" _I wasn't focusing on your thoughts earlier, I was trying to listen to Hux- but you're radiating concern. Is everything okay?"_

" _Ben, I have to leave you tonight. Nothing is alright."_ She shakes her head, and swings her legs off of the bed, deciding to use the fresher and shower if she isn't going to sleep. But she's planted in place waiting for his answer.

" _Rey...you know that this is the way that it has to be."_

" _That doesn't make it easy, does it?"_

" _Absolutely not."_ He agrees. " _Is that really all that's wrong? There's nothing with...with the child?"_

" _There- that- why do you do that?"_ She asks.

" _Do what?"_

" _Don't you hear the way you're talking about our baby? Your own child? You sound so...detached. Why?"_ She clarifies. " _Ben, is it- are you not happy that I- I'm having your baby? Does it upset you?"_

" _What? No, of course not!"_ He's so taken aback by her question that she knows he's genuine. " _Rey...I...I can't have this conversation this way. We'll talk when I come back to you."_

" _Alright."_ She agrees with a long lingering sigh. " _Then I suppose I'll take a shower."_ She feels his breath hitch as he imagines her in the shower, dripping wet, glistening skin. Oh, her skin turns pink when she sees that. She will never be used to seeing herself through his eyes. " _Focus, Ben. You're with your men."_ She teases gently.

" _If you want me to focus you're going to have to close the bond, because all I can think about is your skin under that water, covered in soap…"_

" _Oh please, I'm so fat it's not even funny. That can't be attractive."_ She rolls her eyes.

" _Are you serious? Rey, my love, you're more irresistible than ever."_ His voice sends a shiver of pleasure down her spine. It's ridiculous how much she wants him- she's had him twice today already. But Maker, does she want him right now. He growls gently into the bond, and she smiles.

" _If you hurry this meeting, maybe you can join me."_ She suggests, and his longing fills her.

" _I'll try. You have no idea how hard I'll try."_ He promises, and she giggles as she pushes herself out of the bed. She manages two steps before she feels a trickle of warm liquid running down her leg.

"What the hell…" She gasps, feeling her skirt. There's a slight damp patch, and she wonders if she's wet herself? The tight pain returns, sharper now, and she lets out a small cry.

" _What was that? What's going on?"_ He asks, back at the forefront of her mind again. She takes several steadying breaths, and loosens the grip she has on the headboard. She tries to remember the pain she'd felt on Hoth, the labour she'd experienced however briefly. That had been more painful, incredibly intense. But that last pain had been sharp...that last pain. Implying there had been more than one...All morning. The pain in her back, the cramping, the tightening, the aches, all morning. Oh maker, all morning! " _Rey, talk to me!"_

" _B-ben?"_ She says cautiously, taking another deep breath.

" _What is it my love?"_

" _I think- I think my water just broke."_ She says, her voice full of fear.

" _What?"_ He asks, panic rising in his voice.

" _The baby, Ben. Oh Maker, the baby, it's coming!"_ She bites her tongue, and runs her hand over her stomach. " _I have three and a half weeks- It can't be coming now, it can't!"_ Another pain hits her, and her knees buckle a bit.

" _I'm coming to you."_

" _No, no, I'm fine! I'm fine! Finish your business, I'm fine."_ She insists, but she already feels him coming towards her, and she's relieved. " _But Ben, it can't be today- we have a plan, we have-"_

" _Had. Right now, you're all that matters. You and that- and our baby."_ He corrects himself quickly. " _We'll figure something out. I'll protect you. I love you. I'm coming to you."_

" _I love you too."_


	29. Chapter 29: Just Be Here

_**AN: The baby is coming! What do you think, boy or girl?**_

When he bursts through the door, she's gripping the headboard again, breathing heavily, and he runs to her side, taking her face in his hands.

"Are you alright?" He asks, and she tries to smile at him, but it hurts.

"I'm so sorry- I know this wasn't supposed to be today." She says, and he scoffs.

"Don't apologize. Don't you dare."

"Maybe I can wait- there are only a few hours until we'll be where we need to be-"

"Rey, no. I can feel your pain, I know that you're in no condition to fly as it is, let alone in a few hours. We'll find another way." He insists. "Right now, I'm taking you to the med bay." He scoops her up in his arms, and this time she doesn't even try to protest. She wraps her arms around his neck, and leans her face against his shoulder. It's a long walk to the medbay, and they go in silence. The bond hums between them, alive with an incredible amount of energy. There are no words, she doesn't go poking into his mind to hear his thoughts, though she easily could, now that he doesn't keep her out, but instead focuses on the emotions that radiated to her.

Fear. Anxiety. Concern. Desperation.

And a sliver of hope. Intoxicating, beautiful hope. She feels that too. She hones in on the hope, and it amplifies, his hope growing, beginning to shimmer in the light that grows every time they touch.

They've hardly set foot in the med bay when Eloriah is running to meet them.

"One of the officers saw you in the hall and Commed me." She explains. "Come on, this way!" She directs him, realizing that he wouldn't put her down, even to have her wheeled into the room. "How are you, Rey? How long has this been going on?"

"I- I'm honestly not sure." Rey shakes her head. "I thought it was just back pain...but I suppose I was wrong about that."

"These back pains, describe them to me?" She asks.

"It feels, tight? Like a pressure, of sorts. It didn't' feel like pain until very recently." They've made it to the room by now, and Ben reluctantly sets her on the bed.

"Well, let's just take a look and see what's happening here, do you mind?" The nurse asks, and Rey shakes her head and parts her legs. "Master Ren, if you wanted to step outside-"

"No." He says firmly.

"Right then." Eloriah sighs, shrugs, and goes about her business. "Well, the good news is that you're just less than half of the way dilated."

"And that's good news because?" Rey asks.

"Well, you've gotten through almost half of your labour with minimal pain, I'd say that's good news on all fronts. Everything seems normal."

"When I was here yesterday, you told me that everything seemed normal, that there was every sign I'd make it to term, and I needn't worry about an early labour!"

"Well, yesterday everything was normal. But babies are finicky things, Rey. They come when they want to, When they're ready, not a moment sooner or later. And there are things that will bring a labour on early, which you'll recall I did tell you. I suppose we could try to pinpoint what brought the labour on early, a lot of things could have, really, like the fact that you were underweight at the time of conception, perhaps warm baths, or frequent sex so close to term, now should I keep going, or have I hit the nail on the head?" Eloriah asks, and Rey feels her skin heating up. "I thought so. Nothing to worry about, The baby is ready. It's safe. Okay?"

"Okay." She nods. "Right."

"Alright. I'll be back to check on you, unless you want me to stay? But I think you two will be okay on your own." Eloriah observes, glancing between them with a little smirk before she vanishes through the door.

"I'm so sorry." Rey says again, taking his hands.

"What are you apologizing for?" He asks quietly.

"I don't know exactly. I feel like I ruined your whole plan." She sighs quietly.

"Don't. You didn't ruin anything. This is you, having a baby...having our baby." He says, gently pushing her hair out of her eyes. When the pain strikes her again, she grabs onto his hands tightly, and he lets the bond flow freely between them...and she finds the pain lessens a bit.

"How did you do that?" She asks, giving him a questioning look.

"I...I'm not sure." He looks pensive.

"Do you feel it- like, are you hurting? Because I don't want that." She shakes her head.

"I don't feel it." He shrugs.

"That's almost not fair." SHe grumbles, and tilts her head back. "Well...good, I guess. I don't want you to hurt. I never want that."

"I'd take pain all day, every day, if it meant you never had to hurt again." He says, and she lifts a hand up to his cheek. It's such a cliche thing to say, really. Something that girls fell for so completely in the few holofilms she'd seen. But she could feel that he meant it, and it made her love him even more, something she hadn't thought was possible. She had never known that love like this would be possible. Romantic love had never even entered her mind in Jakku, where all she thought about was family. All she'd ever wanted was a family. Funny that making a family of her own hadn't crossed her mind.

"You're scared." She observes, stroking his hair gently. With the bond so open, she can see the thoughts flying through his mind. They're all of his mother, with blood staining her pale green dress, and fleeting thoughts to a woman he'd never known; his grandmother. She was incredibly beautiful, the holos she saw in his mind showed that clearly. And she'd died in childbirth. "Oh Ben…"

"I can't lose you. Please, Rey, I can't lose you!" He begs, grabbing onto her hands so tightly that she almost can't feel them. "I'll do anything, just please, please be okay!"

"Ben, women have babies every day, and they're fine. I'll be fine." She tries to sound reassuring, but his imaginings have left a tinge of worry in the back of her mind. She gently pries her hands out of his, and cradles his face, running her thumb over his lips as she finds herself doing often. "I love these lips…" She sighs, and her body convulses a bit with the pain of the next pain, but she keeps her hands gently on his face, and traces around the edge of his eye. "And these eyes...I hope the baby has these eyes. I've thought that since I saw you again."

"I hope they look like you, only like you." He says, catching her hand in his, and kissing each fingertip.

"If it's a boy, I don't think they'd like that very much." She says lightly. "The way you feel about the baby...is it because you think you're going to lose me?"

"No- well, yes, perhaps a bit. Most of the birth stories I know don't have happy endings." He doesn't meet her eyes.

"Then why don't you want it?" She asks desperately.

"Because I don't deserve it!" He withdraws from her touch, and with his absence the pain becomes sharper. He lets out a long breath, and runs his hand through his hair.

"Ben...I thought we'd moved past this." She says, her heart aching.

"Rey, I can accept that you would want me- you're an adult, you're capable of making your own choices, you know what I am, and you've chosen me regardless. I almost don't believe it, but I can feel it in your whole body. This child…" His voice becomes so thick that he has to clear his throat to continue. "Is pure light. Your light. It's so pure and sacred-I...I can't leave blood on them. How can I father this child when I've ended the lives of so many children? So many fathers? I don't deserve this. I almost wish that this baby really did belong to that pilot from the resistance. I could forgive you anything, I'd still have loved you, but then this child wouldn't have to face one day learning that their father had done unspeakable things. Had murdered…"

"My Ben… My dear Ben." She opens her arms to him, and he lays his head on her chest, his breathing erratic. "I know you've done horrible things. I know you don't think you'll ever be able to atone for them, and maybe you can't...but going forward, I know that you'll do everything possible to be a better man. You've already promised me that. Make a list of good deeds so long that all of the wrongs are distant memories." She strokes his hair gently. "You've already started, by being so good to me. And you'll add to it by ending all of this." she waves one of her hands to gesture broadly. "And all they'll remember about their father is that he brought true balance to the galaxy...and that he's always there. You will always be there, wont you?"

"I won't ever leave you." he says firmly. "Either of you."

"That's all we need from you, my love." she tilts his face up and kisses his forehead.


	30. Chapter 30: My Heart's Home

_**AN: Okay, I promise you, no more teasing baby Solo, this time they're here for real and you get to meet them!**_

It takes twenty hours. Twenty long, painful hours, and Ben never leaves her side. He lets her cling to him and cry, does everything he can to ease the pain that radiates through the bond. He fights to keep the negative thoughts out of his head, to keep her from hearing any of them, any of his fears. It's horrible, it's painful, it's agony that lasts twenty relentless hours. But then she hears the wailing cry of her child, and that's all she can think of.

"It's a girl!" Eloriah announces cheerfully as she carefully hands the baby to an assistant for cleaning while she finishes tending to Rey.

"Is she healthy? Is she okay?" Rey asks through tears of pain turned to joy.

"She's just fine." Eloriah assures her. "She's proper beautiful, too." she waves her hand, and the younger woman brings back the still crying infant swaddled in clean white cloth, and lays it on it's mother's chest.

"Hello my precious girl. I've been waiting for you for so long." Rey croons, lifting her finger to trace the girl's nose- _her_ nose, she observes with glee. But her lips look just like his. There's so much of him in her little face that her heart aches with love. She tears her eyes away from her face to look at him; he's disappointingly blank on the outside, but there are so many emotions and thoughts pouring through the bond that she has no idea what he's feeling. She knows better than to ask in front of others. She turns her face back to her baby- her _daughter_ , and presses her lips to her head, covered in soft black curls, another feature she'd gotten from him. "I love you."

"Do you have a name?" Eloriah asks, and Rey shakes her head. Any conversations she'd had with Poe, Finn, or Rose about names seem a thousand years away. None of them feel right. "That's alright, sometimes it takes a few days to find something right. I'll just go ahead and fill out the rest of the paperwork. You know the drill by now Rey, hit the button if you need anything, if not I'm sure you're alright alone. I'll be back in a bit to check on baby girl Ren." Rey's lips curl down slightly at that, and Eloriah nods slowly, mostly to herself as she leaves with her assistant.

"Ben?" She asks, turning her attention back to him again. "Look, I'm alright. I'm here. I'm whole." She insists. She makes sure that her daughter is balanced carefully on her body before she reaches over to take his hand, and press it to her beating heart. "My love? Please, say something. At least...At least take a look at her, Ben. Please, for me? Come on." She scoots over, making room for him beside her on the small bed. He moves to take the seat slowly, as if he's afraid of startling her, and she grins at him as the mattress dips with his weight. "Look at her, please? Look at your daughter." She's begging him so fervently that he simply can't refuse. He can't speak, he can only look, transfixed. And all she feels from him is adoration.

"May I…" He asks, extending a shaking hand towards her.

"She's yours too, Ben. You don't need to ask." Rey says gently, and he lays one of his large hands on the child's chest, feeling it rise and fall. Gently, so gently, he lifts his hand and touches her perfect round face. "What will we call her?"

"You did the work. You deserve to decide." He says as his index finger gently caresses the perfect imitation of Rey's nose. "Whatever you choose. Anything."

"I...I don't know." Rey admits, looking at the face she'd seen for so little time, but already adored so utterly. "Something special. Something precious. Because she is. Precious."

"You're not going to call her Precious, are you?" he asks, a slight hint of amusement in his voice.

"No, Precious Solo doesn't sound very good, does it?" She chuckles, and a thought strikes her. "You don't mind, do you? Using Solo?"

"...No." He says with a heavy sigh. "I probably owe it, to my father. It's the least I could do for him."

"Your mother suggested I use Solo, months ago, because I didn't have a last name to give her."

"If my mother likes it, then I have no problems with it." he nods, reluctantly pulling his hand away from the girl.

"You...you could hold her, if you wanted to." Rey says, half afraid he'll refuse. He's hesitant, but eventually he nods, and she carefully places their girl in his strong arms. She's filled with joy to bursting at the sight of them together; she loved both individually more than she knew she could bear, but together...seeing them together...the two people she held most dear, the love swelled and doubled a thousand times over. She lays her head on his shoulder, and wraps her arms around him. She doesn't know that he's crying until he kisses her cheek, and one of his tears falls into her hair.

"Thank you." he says quietly, his voice thick. "This is...she is beyond anything I ever imagined."

"You don't have to thank me, Ben." she shakes her head.

"Oh, but I do. I never thought- never dreamed, never dared dream of a family of my own, not when my family had crumbled to ash. And you gave it to me...the thing I didnt even know that I craved." he says, his eyes glistening with more tears. "And then you gave me her. And shes perfect, Rey, she's just like you...just as I'd hoped." she doesn't point out how like him their daughter is. He'll see it when he's ready.

"She's amazing." she agrees, tracing a hand over her soft curls again.

"Do you think...would you mind if we reached for my mother?" he asks, his gaze traveling between the women who'd swept in and stolen his heart.

"I think we should." Rey says softly. She feels him slipping deep into their own bond, using all of their light to reach out.

" _Son?!"_ Leia asks immediately, her voice almost frantic. " _What's going on? We expected contact from Rey hours ago!"_

" _I'm here, Leia."_ Rey says.

" _What's going on? What happened to the plan?"_ She asks, her voice wary.

" _Everything was set...and then I…"_ Rey trails off and looks at Ben. " _You tell her. You have to be the one to tell her."_

" _Tell me what?"_

" _You have a granddaughter."_ He says softly, his eyes still fixed on the little girl resting in his arms. Leia is silent for a moment, but the strong waves of emotion that flow into the bond speaks volumes.

" _A girl? You've got a little girl?"_ She finally asks.

" _Yes, mama. And she's so, so beautiful."_ He says fervently, and a wave of pleasure rolls down Rey's spine. Rey focuses on the image of her daughter intensely, doing her best to create the image strong enough for Leia to really see it herself. When Ben notices, he joins her, and Leia finally gasps.

" _Oh! She...she's a little Solo, isn't she?"_ Rey's pride swells when she hears Leia confirm what she'd been thinking. " _Thank goodness she got Rey's nose though."_ She adds with a teasingly. " _Well, don't leave me hanging, kids, what are you going to call her?"_

" _Actually, we...don't know."_ Rey admits. " _What would you call her?"_

" _Oh, that's not my place."_ Leia says gently.

" _Gemma. She would have used Gemma."_ Ben says.

" _He- you remember."_ Leia says.

" _The sister, in your memory!"_ Rey gasps, and her eyes flicker down to her tiny girl. "Gemma Solo." She says, tasting the name on her tongue, and as it passes, the little girl opens her eyes for the first time, and meets her mother's eyes calmly. "Ben...Her eyes!" She reaches for the baby, and takes her gently in her arms.

" _What-what color are they?"_ Leia asks, though her voice is faint in Rey's head now that she's lost focus.

" _They're your eyes, Leia. His eyes."_ She says, still transfixed. " _Just like I hoped. She...she's so beautiful, Leia. I wish that you were here, that you could hold her."_

" _She will. Soon."_ Ben promises, his own dark eyes fixed on the now drooping eyes of his child.

" _Use Gemma."_ Leia says, sensing the longing Rey was feeling.

" _Oh, we couldn't!"_ Rey shakes her head.

" _I know that you want to. I'd...I'd like it if you did. Han actually picked that name...I picked Ben. He picked the next one. He got the short end of that deal."_ Leia's voice is wistful, and filled with a bit of sadness. " _He'd be...He'd be glad to know that you liked it."_

" _I love it...If...Ben?"_ Rey asks, physically turning her head towards him.

" _Whatever you want, Rey. Any name that you want."_ He says with a shrug, though she can feel his pleasure with her choice.

" _Then it's Gemma."_ She says, and leans forwards to kiss her forehead again. "What do you think Gemma? Do you like it?" The baby yawns, opening her beautiful mouth into a perfect "O", and Rey laughs jubilantly.

"She's thrilled, clearly." Ben says with a smile.

"Our Gemma."

"Ours." He nods, wrapping his arms protectively around both of them.

" _I don't want to interrupt your moment, but what are we going to do?"_ Leia asks, poking into their thoughts again.

" _I'm not sure."_ Ben admits, his brow furrowing. " _But nothing will happen to either of them. I swear it. Nothing. I'll die first."_

" _I don't like that- you're not allowed to die! You promised me, you promised me forever."_ Rey insists, paying no mind to the fact that his mother was still there. Hardly even realized that she wasn't speaking out loud. She tilts her face up to him, and kisses him on the lips. " _I love you."_

" _Rey…"_

 __" _I'm going to go. You two need some time alone, to work things out…"_ Leia's voice is thick. " _Congratulations, Rey...Son. I love you. All three of you."_ She's gone again, before either can respond, and Rey wastes no time continuing their conversation.

"Promise me that you won't do something stupid, Ben. No sacrificing yourself. Because I can't live without you anymore; I don't want to." She says firmly.

"Rey, I will do what I have to do to keep you safe, to keep her safe!" He insists, looking down at the now slumbering infant.

"Then we will do it together!" She insists. "She's ours. _Ours_. And _we_ will do whatever _we_ can to protect her."

"Rey, I saw what you just went through! You're in no condition to fight, especially not against someone like Snoke." He shakes his head.

"I'm completely fine!" She lies, the ache between her legs and exhaustion running through her limbs saying otherwise. "If I can scavenge with one hand, I can do this."

"Rey, this is so different than anything you've ever faced before!"

"Don't you think I know that? You've shown me the memories, I've seen the scars- I know what he can do to someone, even to someone who he claims to care for. I'm not offering to go in blind, Ben…" She looks down at her daughter again, her voice dropping to a whisper as she takes in her slumbering face. "You told me that I couldn't go with you because I couldn't risk the baby. I agreed because you were right then. But now the baby is seperate from me. You know that I am strong with the force, you know that I could help you here. Please, _please,_ say you will let me. Don't push me away."

"You've had a long day. You should sleep." He says persuasively. He's right of course, exhaustion does radiate from her every pore, but she hates that he's right right now.

"Take Gemma." She sighs, and he takes her with much less hesitation this time. "Just because I'm going to sleep doesn't mean this argument is over. You know that right?"

"I do." He nods sharply.

"...And just because I don't agree with you it doesn't mean that I don't love you. You know _that_ right?" She asks as she settles back against the too hard pillows.

"I do." He smiles a little bit, and tries to get up, but she grabs onto his arm with a gentle hand.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"You need rest-"

"And I'll sleep much better if you're here with me. Both of you." She insists, and he sighs and settles back with her. She uses his shoulder as a pillow, and stares down at her sleeping daughter. "She's so perfect."

"Yes." he agrees, and Rey yawns. "Because she came from you."

"You always seem to forget, Ben." She shakes her head sleepily.

"What?"

"That she came from _you_ too."


	31. Chapter 31: Beautiful

She's blushing while she feeds Gemma. It had come remarkably naturally to her; even Eloriah had been surprised that the baby had latched so easily. But the connection between mother and child had been strong since she'd let herself acknowledge her. But she's blushing because he's watching her with his dark, intense eyes.

"Beautiful." he observes when he senses her unease. "Both of you. Together. Perfection."

"She is." Rey glances down at her, seeing her big brown eyes fly open, and gaze up at her. "Mama's sweet girl." she leans back against the black pillows, glad that Ben had insisted that she be released from the Med Bay to his quarters. Of course, by now everyone had realized that the pregnant prisoner had given birth to Kylo Ren's child, and with spies, she was sure that the Resistance would soon know as well. She wondered if Leia would try to hide the truth, how successful she'd be. She was glad that her close friends already knew the truth of it all.

"I dont know how you can't see how beautiful you are." he slips off his gloves, and sits on the edge of the bed. "Do I have to show you again? How I see you?" he doesnt wait for an answer, just floods her mind with his memories of her.

 _She's wearing one of his black tunics, hanging loose, even over her swelling stomach. She's sitting at the edge of his bed- their bed- and brushing out her mussed hair, wild from the way he'd buried his fingers in it. She glances over at him through her thick dark lashes, smiling shyly, and theres only one word he could use to describe her. Radiant._

 _He's hovering over her, one of his large hands on either side of her head as he buries himself deep, so deep inside of her. "Oh Ben!" falls from her lips, her perfect, soft, irresistible lips, and he kisses them with as much passion and love as he can muster. Her beautiful hazel eyes flutter, and her movements become erratic as she comes beneath him, around him, and he murmurs one word gently into the shell of her ear. "Beautiful."_

 _Her hair is still wet, skin still rose pink from the warm shower she must have taken while he was on the bridge. Shes only half dressed, a pair of soft linen pants with the wide waistband rolled beneath the large swell of her belly. A white tunic rests beside her, but she's too enthralled by the movement of her child to care. When she notices him, she looks up and grins at him. "Ben! Come here, you've got to feel this!" she insists, and he approaches warily. "Come on!" oh, he knows he shouldn't...he shouldn't touch the scared being growing there, but shes smiling so broadly, he cannot refuse. He puts his hand on her stomach and sucks in a sharp breath. The child is moving, like its somersaulting within it's mother. He can even see her stomach moving with the motion, and Rey begins to laugh, the most beautiful sound. "Isn't it incredible?!" she asks, and he nods before pulling away his hand slowly. That's exactly the word he would use. Incredible._

 _She's standing in the forest. He's found her- but where is the blasted droid?! He's distracted for a moment...shes so thin, too thin, but she's strong, he can see the muscles in her back. She turns to face him, and he's stunned; even dimmed by the mask, she's easily the most beautiful woman he has ever seen. No tinting could ever take away from the light in her hazel eyes. His hands twitch, eager to touch her, when she lifts the blaster and fires on him. He freezes it easily and steals her consciences with the same motion, moving quickly to catch her up in his arms before she can hit the ground. The weight of her in his arms is extraordinary...and Maker, she's beautiful!_

 _An overwhelming sense of something fills his chest when he sees her energy draining as she struggles to bring her child- his child- into the world. She's covered in sweat, and silent tears slip down her cheeks, but she's a creature of sheer determination, a force that will not be defeated. The cry of an infant is the only thing that could tear his focus from her, and yet, he cant look at the child. Her child- his. Theirs. So he looks at Rey. She's smiling again, the pain dull in comparison to the all consuming love that flows from her like water. She's glowing. She's radiant. She's beautiful. Perfect. Shes Rey. His Rey. The mother of his child...his daughter. And he loves her so much it hurts._

"Oh Ben!" she half laughs, half sobs. Her emotions haven't recovered yet, she cant control them. She wants him closer, she tells him through the bond, and he leans in and presses a reverent kiss to her lips.

"How is she? Our Gemma?" he asks when he pulls away.

"Probably tired now she's had her dinner." she smiles at him, and adjusts the baby so that she can drape her gently on her shoulder to burp her like Eloriah had shown her. He smiles and presses his lips to his daughter's downy curls, breathing in the sweet smell of her. "How are things on the Bridge?"

"The same. No news of the Rebellion." He says, with a slight smile as the little girl hiccups.

"He knows, doesn't he?" Rey asks, and Ben's smile falls from his lips.

"He does. He...wants to see me." Ben admits cautiously. She nods, and continues tending to her child. "He's...disappointed, that it was a girl." Rey frowns. "But he'll still want to see her."

"Over my dead body." Rey hisses.

"You know that he would cross that line in an instant." Ben says cautiously. "Don't worry. He'll want to see me alone first. Try to pluck information out of my head, about the child, about you. He'll want all of my attention. To test my loyalty."

"You tell me not to worry, but how can I help it if you have to go back before that monster?" She asks. She transfers the baby into his arms, and he takes her readily. She pushes herself up off of the bed, and begins to pace.

"You shouldn't be up yet. They said you should have a bit of bed rest." He lectures half heartedly. He knows she won't listen.

"Will you try to get to him now?" She asks, crossing her arms over her chest.

"No. Not with you and Gemma on one of his ships. If I were to fail...you'd be the ones to pay for it. He'd take Gemma to train. He would kill you, to kill off the light in me...and it just might." he admits, and she shakes her head and sits back down beside him on the edge of the bed.

"No, Ben. No. You won't ever lose the light again. It's here." She lays her palm over his heart, and then lifts her other hand to gently touch their daughter's chest. "And it's here. Nothing can take it from you. Even if I were to die, the light is yours. Not mine."

"Loss can do a lot to a person." he sighs.

"Then it's good that we've vowed never to lose each other, isn't it?" She says softly, moving her small hand to his cheek. "I love you, Ben Solo. More than anyone." The baby lets out a loud coo, as if to object, and she bursts out laughing. Even Ben cracks a broad smile. "Almost, more than anyone. Almost."

"As long as I play obedient, you and Gemma are safe. It would be inconvenient for him to have to find a wet nurse for Gemma, and He'll want her, especially when he realizes she's so strong with the force. So if I'm obedient, if you're obedient, he won't act. Not yet." Ben says, almost to himself.

"I don't know Ben. He...he's a monster. He can't be trusted." She shakes her head.

"I know."

"What do we do?"

"I'm working on it." he says simply.

"You're working on it? Because that's supposed to be a good enough answer." Rey rolls her eyes. He looks at her with pleading eyes, and she sighs. "Alright. I know. You're working on it. I trust you. We'll find a way to end this."


	32. Chapter 32: I Will Protect Her

_**AN: Oh my gosh, I'm super honored by your kind reviews! I feel so loved! You're wonderful human beings! Please enjoy another chapter!**_

Ben is on his way to see Snoke the next time Snoke tries to find her child. This time it's different though; the child is not in her body any longer, and protecting her is difficult. She notices it in degrees, the rising darkness, the imbalance of the force; but when Gemma begins to cry, that's when she's certain of it. Her heartbeat races, adrenaline courses through her veins, and before she knows what she's doing, she's using the connection she's forged with her child to counter strike.

 _I should have known you'd be close by, Scavenger Slut._

"Get away from my daughter!" She growls through gritted teeth. She hears his laughter, a dark coughing sound.

 _You already know that she belongs to me...shame, that she wasn't a boy...boys are always more useful, when it comes to these things._

"Then why do you bother to look?"

 _Oh, my dear foolish girl, you know as well as I do that this child...she's stronger with the force than any infant I've seen before...Stronger even than her father, a feat I'd not thought possible...I don't know why I hadn't thought to have Ren get a child off of some girl sooner._

She growls furiously as he attacks her mind with an image of _her_ Ben with another woman, a beautiful blonde woman, touching him, moving over him, and he's wearing those damned gloves-

 _Of course, not just any whore could have reared such incredible strength. So I suppose you should be thanked, Scavenger Slut. Or perhaps you should be consoled...to have endured such brutality while captured…_

She feels what he's doing. She remembers seeing the false memories in Ben's head as clearly as if she was seeing them now. He's trying to replace them, to make her doubt _him._ She won't let him. She inhales, focusing on the light, and she hears Snoke hiss as he withdraws from her memories.

 _Yes, yes, Skywalker taught you many tricks, I remember._

"Leave us alone." She says firmly. "GO!" She pushes him with all of the strength she can muster, and he vanishes from her mind. For a moment Gemma is silent, staring up at her mother with almost adult like awareness, and then she's crying again. "Shh, shh, Gemma, it's alright. I promise. Mama will always keep you safe. I'm sorry I didn't see him before it began, shh, please, my love, don't cry!" She bounces and rocks the wailing infant in her arms, and presses soothing kisses to her silk smooth skin.

" _Rey? My love- are you alright? The bond- it went silent, I didn't know...What's going on?"_

" _Ben, he was here. He was trying to get inside of her mind. Inside of her soul!"_ Rey roars into the bond, trying to keep outwardly calm for the sake of her child.

" _I'll kill him."_ Ben's voice is deadly calm, and Rey panics.

" _No- no, Ben, Please, be careful! Remember, you told me that you couldn't, not yet, please, please, don't risk yourself!"_ She begs, Her breath coming in short bursts. " _Ben I can't lose you, please, I can't lose you! Please, think of our Gemma, think of her, she can't grow up without a father, she can't my love, please, I'll never forgive you!"_

" _Shh, sh, quiet my love, quiet. I won't. Not today. I promise. You'll be back in my arms again soon. I promise."_ Ben repeats, and Rey lets out a long sigh of relief. " _Is she alright? Is she...harmed?"_

" _She's fussy, but she's calming. I don't feel any darkness lingering…"_

" _What? What aren't you telling me?"_ He asks.

" _Nothing."_ She snaps too quickly.

" _Rey."_

" _Remember that you promised me…"_

" _Rey."_

" _He...he hurt her. I could feel it. She was crying like something was burning her, and there was nothing that I could do!"_ Rey says, the tremor returning to her voice.

" _I won't kill him today. But I can't wait much longer."_ Even though he's far away, she can feel the waves of his anger rolling across her skin. " _She's alright now, though?"_

" _She's fine. She's calm."_ Rey assures him.

" _This is my fault."_

" _No! Ben- no. It's not. Don't blame yourself for this, please, don't ever blame yourself for what that...vile creature does!"_ Rey insists. She pulls the top of her tunic down, and lets the baby rest against her bare skin, which calms the child further. But Ben isn't soothed; she feels him blaming himself, hating himself. " _Ben. Listen to me. Listen. Do you remember that I love you? Do you remember the way that Gemma looks up at you while you hold her, with wide, beautiful brown eyes so full of trust? Do you remember that your mother loves you? Ben, do you remember?"_

" _Yes…"_

" _Then just feel those things, Ben. The important things- and no, I'm not saying that it's not important that that...creature tried to, to, plant darkness in our daughter, it is. I'm furious, Ben! But we can't blame ourselves for this. We can only do our best."_

" _Our best."_

" _Please, be careful. He...he tried to poison my memories of us today. If he tries to do that to you again-"_

" _Don't worry, I'm ready for him this time. I know where to keep the memories, how to hold them so he can't reach them."_ Ben assures her.

" _I'll be worried until you're back here, safe in my arms, Ben."_

" _I know the feeling."_

" _Be careful."_

" _I will."_

" _I love you."_

" _I love you. And Gemma- I love her too."_

" _We know. Both of us."_

" _I'm almost to Snoke now; I have to close you out. He knows we're bonded, but he doesn't know the extent of it, and I sure as hell don't want him to find out."_

" _Right. I hate this."_

" _So do I."_

" _Remind me once more. After all of this is done-"_

" _I'm going to take both of you somewhere green and beautiful, and I'll teach you to swim. You'll dance in the rain, and feel the grass under your feet. One night, I'll make love to you under the stars, and you'll feel the grass under your back."_ He recites it almost like a mantra, something that he's whispered to her dozens of times over since Gemma had come.

" _Soon."_ She whispers.

" _Soon."_


	33. Chapter 33: A Family

_**AN: This chapter is pretty short and fluffy...but some big action is coming next time, so be prepared, and enjoy the happy Reylo fluff!**_

"Ben!" She's ready to fling herself into his arms as soon as the door is opening. His arms wrap around her waist almost painfully tight, but her legs shoot up to wrap around him, pulling him even tighter against her. The bond was silent for two days. She knew that he was alive, she could feel it, but it was numb. She felt numb. Her lips find his, and she tangles her fingers in his dark hair. His kiss is slow at first, but absolutely full of passion, devotion, longing. She pulls back first, and kisses every piece of his face and neck that she can, speaking between kisses. "I...was so...worried...about you! I didn't know...if you were...hurt...or dying...or…"

"Sh, my love, I'm here." He's still pressing her close, inhaling her scent. "I'm sorry, I wanted to reach for you, I wanted to, more than anything, but I couldn't. Snoke wanted to do more...training."

"T-training?" She asks, her fingers stroking the hair at the nape of his neck.

"He warned me that you were stronger with the force than we thought. Apparently, you kept him out." Ben says, a touch of humour in his voice. "He wanted to work with me until I could keep him out, or I'd never be able to keep you out."

"Did you?"

"Almost. He wasn't...entirely satisfied, by my progress. But he had other things to worry about." Ben shrugs. "Where's our girl?" Rey smiles.

"I like it, when you call her that. I really do. She's in the cradle, sleeping." She wiggles to be set down, but instead, he transfers her weight easily so that she's resting in his arms similar to the way that he would hold their daughter. "Ben! I can walk!"

"I'm just not ready to let you go yet." He walks over to the cradle, a simple silver structure. They'd hung long black curtains to separate the cradle from the rest of the room, and to help block the lights for her during her sleeping hours. Rey pushes the curtains back with the force, and he stands and stares, letting out a long breath. "She really is okay."

"I wouldn't lie to you." She scoffs.

"I know that- but I had to see it with my own eyes." He says, still staring at her, watching her chest rise and fall beneath the sterile white blanket. "I missed you, both of you."

"I hated having you gone; I could hardly sleep at all- I probably wouldn't have, except I was so exhausted between feeding her." Rey chuckles quietly, and begins kissing his neck again, absorbing the glory of the bond flowing open between them again. He steps back, letting the curtain fall back in place, and sets her on her feet again. His hands rest on her hips, and he kisses her on the mouth. "Oh Maker, I wish that I could have you right now." She sighs against his skin, suddenly intensely aware of the feel of his warm hands resting on her body, even through her simple blue dress. She wonders if she couldn't just throw caution to the wind, and-

"No, Rey." He says firmly, but gently. "I can hear what you're thinking, love, and there is nothing I'd like more than to kiss every inch of your body, but you just gave birth two weeks ago. You have to heal."

"You're right, of course." She mutters, and kisses his neck once more for good measure. He lets out a low moan, and she smiles, and runs her hand down his chest, reaching between them for-

"You don't have to do that." He insists as her fingers reach the buckle of his belt.

"Shh. Bed. Now." She insists, and he shudders at her tone.

"It doesnt seem right." He shakes his head as she pushes him down.

"Mm, I'm sure you'll find a way to make it up to me in when the time is right, won't you Ben?" She grins mischievously at him, and goes back to kissing his was down his body.

"Oh, I will- Force, I'm going to make you scream!" He groans.

"Oh, I'm counting on it."


	34. Chapter 34: The Impossible

"Listen to her, Ben, I swear, she's saying something!" Rey laughs, kissing her daughter's nose as the little girl coos and mumbles while she lays on her back on her white blanket. She can't help but imitate the sounds, and gently tickle the baby's tummy. She finally looks up at Ben, who's leaning in the doorframe of his training room, his arms crossed over his bare chest, a beautiful smile on his perfect lips. "Don't you hear it?"

"I do." He kneels beside the bed, resting his elbows on it and staring at both of them with amusement dancing in his eyes. She glances down at him, and leans over to kiss him. Her lips are still on his when his comm chirps and she sighs. "I'm wanted on the bridge."

"Of course." Rey nods, and focuses back on her daughter.

"Don't be mad." He's tugging on his shirt, and he comes back to her, the mattress dipping with his weight as he wraps his arms around her.

"I'm not mad at you, Ben. I just...Sometimes, when it's just the three of us, it feels normal. It feel safe, like we're a real family-"

"We _are_ a real family." He says, kissing her shoulder.

"I know that- of course we are. I know how much you love us. But we aren't free, Ben. You're still working with murderers, and fanatics. People who hurt you, who want to hurt our daughter. It's hard. It's very hard." She sighs, and he wraps his arms securely around her waist, and rests his chin on her shoulder.

"I know." He sighs, and reaches for the daughter. She grasps his finger with a tiny fist, and she doesn't need to see his face to know that he's smiling. "One day, this will all be done. Finished. I promise."

"I believe you."

"I really do have to go." He sighs.

"I know." She frowns, and he kisses her throat, and she tilts her face down to kiss him. "It's alright. Eloriah is coming by soon anyways, for my checks. She thinks I might be ready for the all clear."

"All clear?" He asks, and she feels her face heat up. "Oh- that."

"No promises, but we can hope, Can't we?" She asks, and he kisses her cheek. "I'll tell you when I know...So you can hurry back to me." He hums slightly, deep in his chest. "Now get out of here, before some troopers come to drag you to the bridge."

"I love you." He kisses her once on the mouth, and leans down to kiss Gemma's chubby baby cheek. "My girl." He grabs his gloves and tugs them on in a fluid motion. "See you soon."

"Soon." She agrees, smiling as he goes. "Well Gemma, it's just the two of us, hm?" She asks, bending down to blow a raspberry against the pudgy skin of her daughter's stomach, and the little girl lets out a sound that Rey knows is the precursor to a giggle. "Yes my love, learning and growing, aren't you?"

One month. It's been one month since she had given birth to this sweet little girl. One month since she should have been back at the base with Leia and Finn, and Poe and Rose. Two months since she'd realized that she was so in love with Ben Solo that she no longer knew how to exist without him. Ten months since she'd shared her first night with him on starkiller. She didn't know how she possibly could have denied her feelings for him for more than half of that time, not when they were so strong.

She scoops up her daughter, and watches in amazement as her baby girl snuggles into her chest, something new she's started doing in the last few days. She loves the way that her daughter curls against her breast, seeking the warmth of her skin, her tiny fist coming to rest beside her face. She hums softly, some old tune that she doesn't remember learning, and watches in wonder as the tiny thing falls asleep in her arms. She knows that it amazes Ben that something so tiny can inspire such great feeling, but she's had much more time to get used to the idea of Gemma. Months more. The knock on the door startles her out of her thoughts, and she waves the door open.

"Hello there." Eloriah says gently as she enters with her medics bag. "I'd ask how you were doing, but it would appear that you two are getting on just fine."

"We are." Rey nods with a smile.

"How do you feel?" The nurse asks as she sets her things down and sets up shop.

"I'm feeling wonderful. A lot more energy in the last few days; I've even started training again, gently of course, like you instructed." Rey says.

"And how's Gemma?" She asks.

"She is sleeping a bit better now. You were absolutely right about that lotion on her feet. It's worked wonders." Rey tells her. "She's eating better too. And she's growing so much too!"

"That is the nature of a baby." Eloriah laughs. "Alright, let's get her weighed and measured." She almost reluctantly hands the little girl over to the nurse.

" _Rey? Rey!"_ Ben's voice bursts into her head, painfully loud, and she gasps. Eloriah looks at her with narrow eyes, but ignores her and goes about her business.

" _What? What is it? What's wrong?"_ She asks, putting her finger tips on her temples.

" _You have to leave. You have to go. Right now."_ He says seriously.

" _What?!"_

" _Rey, They just informed me, Snoke is coming."_

 _What?! Here?! Now?"_ She feels her heart sink. __

" _I don't know. I don't know how we didnt see it- didnt feel him coming. Of course hes coming. He couldn't get her from far away, so he'll need to get her in person. He didn't give any warning, because if you heard he knew you'd try to escape. Its why they didn't tell me until now. But they don't know we can talk to each other like this. Get the baby, get your saber, and go! You have to go!"_

" _How?"_ She asks, rising from the bed, and pulling Leia's jacket out of the closet before she grabs the baby wrap Eloriah had ordered for her. She shrugs it on, and summons the lightsaber into her hands, securing it in a pocket inside of the jacket before she starts tying the sling.

" _The nurse- is she with you?"_

" _Yes?"_

" _Good, good. Have her take you toward the Med Bay. There are escape pods there, they're not guarded. All guards from low security areas have been summoned for inspection. You get in,wait for my word, and there's an option to launch all of them. Do it. It's the only chance. I've already reached for my mother with our coordinates. Chewbacca and some Pilot are on their way to the nearest planet to claim you. Once you land, get the hell away from the pod, and run. They'll find you."_

" _What about Eloriah?"_

" _Take her with you."_

" _What about you?"_

" _I have to stay. Stop, no fighting. If I were to leave the bridge right now they would know. Go right now. You have to be out before Snoke's ship comes out of light speed. Go!"_ She growls, and opens the bond between them so much that she knows he'll be able to see everything she does. She feels his relief, he needs to see that she is safe.

"We have to move." Rey says, Grabbing her daughter and quickly strapping her to her chest with the brown sling.

"What?" The nurse asks.

"You told me once that your first loyalty is to mother and baby, is that still true?" Rey asks, grabbing her hand.

"Well, yes, it is, but-"

"I cant let my daughter fall into the hands of the Supreme Leader." Rey says firmly. "I have to go. And you're coming with me."

"...Okay." The nurse nods, and gathers up her things. "What do I need to do?"

"The pods in the Med Bay. We get in one, we launch them all." Rey says. "You have to take us there."

"Right, Of course." Eloriah nods. She grabs Rey's elbow gently, and walks to the door. "So, if we fail, I probably die, Right?"

"We both do." Rey nods.

"Well then, we'd better not." Eloriah sighs, and they go out into the hall. No one questions them as they walk. The troopers in the hall all know that Rey is essentially property of Kylo Ren, and they won't dare touch her, especially not when she's with the serious faced little nurse. They walk together to the Med Bay, and in the back of her mind, she is hyper aware of everything going on on the Bridge, where Ben is working with Hux to prepare for their supreme leader. Eloriah pulls her quickly into one of the rooms, the one where she'd given birth to her daughter, and Rey gives her a questioning look. "You've got a baby strapped to your chest, but you haven't got the things you need to take care of her." She grabs a small med bag, and fills it with the few baby supplies she'd had brought to the ship.

"Right. Thank you." Rey nods, and gently sways from side to side, hoping to rock the little girl on her chest to sleep.

" _Rey, you've got to go!"_

" _I know, I know- I'm sorry, I needed some things for Gemma!"_

" _Of course. Right. Hurry my love, we've got less than five minutes."_ She hears the stress in his voice, and she gestures for the nurse to hurry. They leave the room and move quietly to the back hall. As Ben had told her, it was empty. She hits the button of one of the capsules, and the grey door pops open. Eloriah climbs in first, and Rey gets one foot in when she's struck with panic.

" _I can't. I can't leave you!"_ She calls into the bond, her heart hammering so loud she's afraid it'll disturb the baby.

" _Rey, you have to. You can do anything. You're the strongest person I've ever met. Go!"_ He insists, his voice desperate. " _Think of our girl, please."_

" _I...I…"_ Rey looks at the wide eyed nurse, and then down at her child. " _I'll give the baby to Eloriah, and I'll come to you- SHe'll take Gemma to your mother, she'll be safe, and together, you and I can-"_

" _NO!"_ His voice makes her jump, and tears start to pool in her eyes. " _My love...please, remember what you've always told me? We do everything for her, what's best for her. She needs her mother. She needs you. Not some nurse. You're the only one who stands a chance of protecting her head if Snoke manages to locate her. You have to go."_ It's almost as if his words physically shove her into the pod, and she lands on her rear on the hard metal floor. Before she can move, Eloriah is moving closing the door, and pressing the button, and a sob escapes from deep in Rey's chest as the pod launches. " _I...I have to close the bond again. You know that I have to."_

"Ben, no, please!" She begs, not noticing that she was no longer speaking solely within her head.

" _He's too close. He'll be able to sense it-"_ From the distance, she hears chaos. " _They've just noticed the launched pods; they're programmed to find the nearest planet and land. I used the force to scramble the lifeform censor- they think it's a technical malfunction. Of course, they'll know that's not true once Snoke arrives and goes directly to find you. Land, and Run."_

"Ben, Please, come with me! Don't let me escape alone again!" She's desperate now, though logically she knows that he can't come, that it's much too late. "Remember what happened last time? All of the time we missed? Please, Ben, we've got a daughter, we've got a baby, you can't lose so much time with her, please!"

" _I promise I'll come back to you. I didn't promise that last time, did I? Things are different now, you know they are."_ His voice is tender and soft, the love clearly evident in his tone. She's hyperventilating, and hardly notices when Eloriah carefully undoes the sling and lifts the baby from her chest, giving her chest room to rise and fall. " _Breathe my love, come on, breathe...damn it, be strong! I know you can be strong!"_

" _If- if you don't come back to me, I will never forgive you. Never."_ Rey speaks to him silently as her panic abates, and determination rises.

" _I love you. No matter what I have to do from this point on, please remember how much I love you."_

" _What does that mean?"_

" _You know I have to kill again."_

" _To bring order. Any court would condemn that thing to death, Ben. You're not a monster for doing this. You're not."_ She insists, pouring all of her love into his body. " _And I will always love you, Ben. Always. You know that, you believe me?"_

" _Yes."_

" _I should have kissed you longer before I let you leave this morning. I should have given up waiting and just jumped into the shower with you. I should have just pretended to sleep a little longer this morning, so you wouldn't have gotten up to train."_ She laments, feeling acute pain with every inch that grows between them.

" _When this is all done, I'm going to take you both somewhere green."_ He says softly, and her heart flutters.

" _And you'll teach me how to swim. You'll watch me dance in the rain."_

" _I'll make love to you on the grass under the stars."_ As he finishes the mantra for them, his voice breaks, and she wants to be holding him so badly. " _I'm going to close it now, Rey. I'll...I'll open it as soon as I can. I swear it won't be long. I can't live without you for that long."_

" _Ben!"_

" _Yes?"_

" _No matter what, please, please, don't let yourself get hurt. Please. Just remember that we're waiting for you...your mother, me...our girl."_ She begs him once more.

" _I'll do anything I can to come back to you. I swear it. I love you. Always."_ She feels him slip away, and the bond slowly closes, and then all at once it's all but completely vanished, almost no hit of him anywhere, and she feels cold all over. But she's not alone. Eloriah gives her a reassuring smile, and offers her daughter to her, and Rey takes her at once, and presses kisses to her beautiful curly hair. She was not alone. She would never be alone.


	35. Chapter 35: A Past

_**AN: So, this chapter we finally get to learn who the heck Eloriah is, and where she comes from. To be fair, she is an OC from my imagination, but I actually really like her, so it seemed a good time to have her story told.**_

The landing is relatively smooth, and as soon as it's made contact, Rey is ready. She's completely stopped her tears, and rebound her daughter to her chest, and she's grabbed on to Eloriah's hand. She pries the door open, and looks around, grateful it's at the very least a forest planet. That will give some cover, somewhere to hide. She chooses the quite dense patch of trees to the right of them, and starts running, keeping Eloriah right with her. She won't feel safe until they've put at least a mile between them and the pod. She's glad that the nurse is in good enough shape to keep up with her, because it's so important to get the distance...Ben had told her to get the distance...This thought keeps her running even after she's started to tire. Before she'd given birth, before the last few months of her pregnancy, she'd been able to run much longer, but motherhood had put a strain on her system. She'd have to rectify that with training. She reaches out with the force, and senses so much.

Small birds in the trees that tower above them. Tiny creatures burrowed beneath the earth. But there's nothing that seems a threat, and she's grateful for small blessings. She slows her run into a walk, and then stops completely, checking on her daughter. She's awake, and blinking curiously. It crosses her mind that this is the first time her daughter has ever been on a planet at all, ever breathed fresh air. And Ben was missing it. It starts to rain suddenly, almost a reflection of her inner turmoil, and Rey looks for somewhere to hide.

"Come on, this way." Rey says, pointing over to a small rock alcove that will at least provide some cover. They take a seat, and Rey closes her eyes and tries to feel for Ben, even though she knows she shouldn't, but it's like she's met with a solid wall of ice. With great effort, she knows she could break it, burst into his head, feel his comfort again, but she knows that that would be selfish.

"Now what?" Eloriah asks, and Rey opens her eyes.

"We wait. Don't worry. People are coming for us." Rey assures her. "Resistance."

"Will they...Will I be a prisoner?" Eloriah asks, nervously playing with the end of her long red braid.

"Maybe at first. But I won't let them keep you in a cell. I trust you. And I think you trust me."

"I do." She nods.

"I guess you've proved that, coming with me. You could have called for troopers." Rey shrugs and Gemma begins to fuss. Rey realizes it's past time she was fed. She begins undoing the sling.

"Huh. I never even thought of that." Eloriah almost laughs.

"I know. And that proves that you're...good." Rey smiles and drapes Leia's jacket over her daughter to offer some protection from the weather as she nurses. "How did you come to work for the First Order, Eloriah?"

"It's...complicated."

"Well, We have time." Rey says.

"I told you that my mother delivered babies, she was always so good at it, and she loved it. Even when it became popular to have the med droids handle the births, women kept coming to her, because she was just, the best. I guess she passed that love to me. I always went to help her. It was always just the two of us...she saved up every credit to pay for me to be properly certified as a nurse. She taught me everything she knew. I loved her so much…" Eloriah's voice gets a far away quality for a moment, but she clears her throat and continues. "One day there was a call, that an important woman had gone into labour, and they needed the best. I went with her. It was before we knew anything about the first order, really. We didn't know she was the wife of someone who'd become a General. The woman was having a very difficult birth. Mother tried very hard, but the baby died- the General shot her, on sight. Right through the heart. But the woman was still in labour- it was twins, no one had known. I was grieving for my mother, I was in shock, but I knew what my mother would tell me to do. She had always put mother and baby first. I managed to deliver the baby safely, the smallest little boy I'd ever seen. But he was healthy. Alive. I even managed to heal the mother. I'd succeeded where my mother had failed. The woman asked me to stay, help her with the baby. She wouldn't trust anyone else. I had nowhere else to go, and I got the feeling that it wasn't really...a choice. But I stayed. I was just her nurse for a while, I made sure the baby gained weight and grew. Then the next time an official was going to have a baby, I was sent. And then again. I became somewhat valuable to them somewhere along the way. Officially I was a nurse, I stitched more Stormtroopers wounds than I did deliver babies, but I always liked to heal...it didn't matter too much to me who's side I was healing, I suppose. I just wanted to help. And when I got to deliver the babies...well, that was the best part."

"I'm so sorry. About your mother." Rey says at the end of the story.

"So am I." Eloriah sighs, wrapping her arms around herself. "I...I'm glad that you came to the Finalizer when you did. I was due to be transferred two days later. I knew there was something special about you."

"You knew that B- that Kylo Ren was the father."

"Like I told you, Rey. When you deliver babies, you see a lt of different relationships between human beings. Fathers who love the mothers, fathers who'd rather be anywhere else. Friends who come to support them. Grandparents waiting. And when you work for the First Order, you know how a man like Kylo Ren is said to treat prisoners. If you were just another prisoner, even if you'd had important information, he wouldn't have stayed while you'd been healed. He'd have had you sedated, and come to interrogate you, and had you put in a cell as soon as you were released. But he stayed. He couldn't stop staring at you. He was scared- and a man like Kylo Ren is never scared."

"I think that you and I are going to be very good friends, Eloriah." Rey says suddenly.

"Aren't we already?" Eloriah asks, raising an eyebrow at her with a half smile.

"Right." Rey smirks.

"Is it really true- that Kylo Ren is Ben Solo?" Eloriah asks, and Rey freezes. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked."

"No, it's alright. He is. He's Ben Solo, son of Han Solo and Leia Organa. He was...on the wrong path. For a very long time. But he's found himself again. He's found the light." Rey explains, smiling at the thought of how gentle Ben could be now. The way that he cradled their daughter against his chest, and woke up in the night when she was crying. When he learned how to change Gemma, and helped bath her. How softly he kissed her, how gently his hands worshiped her body, how patient and kind he was when her emotions were out of control.

"I think...You're right." Eloriah says. "I mean, I can't imagine that someone like you would love someone like him, unless he was changed- not to say that you love him, I don't want to assume-"

"I do. I love him. Very much." Rey says, her voice becoming thick. "Not at first. But then...Now…"

"It's okay." Eloriah puts her hand on Rey's shoulder, and Rey shakes her head, hoping that the action will clear the tears from her eyes.

"I'm so worried about him."

"Master Ren will be alright. He's strong- everyone is afraid of him."

"Everyone except for the Supreme Leader." Rey almost spits. "He wants me. He wants Gemma. But that will _never_ happen...and please, don't call him Master Ren. I know that's what he's always been, but I really, really hate it. When you're just talking to me, you can call him Ben."

"Well then, I have something that I think will cheer you up just a little bit." Eloriah says, and she reaches into the bag she'd packed for the baby, and pulls out a thick sheet of paper. "It's a copy of the baby's paperwork. Of course, it's all digital, but I got a hard copy for you." She holds it out so that Rey can see it, and she smiles.

"Gemma Solo." Rey smiles, wanting to reach out and touch it. Her name is Rey Solo. The father...the father is Kylo Ren. But she can handle that. Her daughter is a Solo. Not a Ren. Legally, officially a Solo. Somewhere, she feels Han smiling.

"I hope you don't mind it. It's just, when I called her "baby girl Ren" you got this look on your face, and I knew you didn't want that. And there have always been rumours that Kylo Ren was, well, Ben Solo, so I thought...Well, it always could have been changed." Eloriah shrugs and tucks the paper safely back into the bag.

"Thank you. I love it." Rey smiles at her.

"I left a space for a middle name, if you wanted to include one." Eloriah says, and Rey nods.

"Bey. Gemma Bey Solo."

"That's pretty." Eloriah observes.

"It's...for a very dear friend." Rey says, thinking of Poe, and his mother. She sighs, and finishes feeding her daughter in silence. When she's been burped and cleaned up, Rey wraps her in Leia's coat, and presses her to her skin, gritting her teeth as the wind picks up. She knows that Snoke has arrived on the Finalizer. They must have already known that they were gone. They probably had landing parties on the way to the surface. "Come on Chewy!" She murmurs, gently rocking her daughter back and forth. She wishes that she was wearing something more substantial than the light blue dress- she even wishes she was still wearing Ben's large tunic that she'd fallen asleep in last night. At least then she'd still have the smell of him.

Eloriah doesn't say anything either. She sits and fidgets nervously with the end of her braid again. Rey can feel the fear coming off of her, but she feels something else, something she gathers Eloriah hasn't felt in a very long time. Hope. Rey reaches out to take her hand again, and Eloriah smiles slightly at her.

"It's been a long time since I've had a friend." She says.

"Well, brace yourself then. You're going to meet the friendliest group of people in the galaxy." Rey smiles slightly. "My best friend, Finn, his girl, her name is Rose. They're both so great, and Rose was there with me for a lot of my pregnancy. Then there's Chewy, he's a wookie, and he's the best pilot I've ever seen. Then there's Leia- er, GEneral Organa. She took me under her wing, was like a mother to me. She's going to be so excited to see Gemma. Then there's Poe, the top X-Wing Pilot, but I'm sure there's nothing he couldn't fly if he put his mind to it. He's the kindest, most generous man…"

"Was he...something special to you?" Eloriah asks with a slight blush, and Rey coughs.

"In a way… He was very supportive. And he cared about me and the baby very much. I cared about him too." Rey explains. "In another life, I think Poe might have been something more to me. I really do. But the Force doesn't make mistakes...what I have with Ben, it's right. I know that it's right." Something begins tingling in the back on her skull- someone is near. Trying to reach her. She hands the baby to Eloriah, and gets to her feet, pulling her lightsaber into her hands.

It's not Ben, she knows that much. But it is someone who knows the ways of the force. She closes her eyes, and breathes in. No, it's not Snoke, there's no darkness. There's something warm, and familiar about this feeling…

"Rey!" She gasps, the saber almost falling from her hand as she races into his embrace.

"Master Luke!"


	36. Chapter 36: On The Falcon

_**AN: Hello hello hello, I have another chapter for my faithful readers!**_

"Rey!"

"Master Luke!" She wraps her arms around his neck, and he holds her in a fatherly embrace. "What are you doing here?! I thought Chewy was coming-"

"We have to move, I'll explain on the way." Luke says, and Rey nods. She takes her daughter back from Eloriah, who's staring in awe at the middle aged jedi master. "You must be the nurse, my sister said that my Nephew told her there would be one." Eloriah nods, and scoops up the bag. "And this must be Gemma." He says gently, his attention turning to the little girl. Rey nods, and holds her so that Luke can see her clearly, watching closely for his reaction. He reaches out, and Rey doesn't hesitate to put her into his arms. "Wow...Rey, she's beautiful. She looks just like her father."

"That's what I said." Rey smiles, the smile on his face making her heart leap for joy. "She's a little Solo."

"She is." Luke nods, and hands her back. "Let's move." They move quickly, following closely behind Luke. "I came to help locate you. Without the force, it could have taken hours, hours we didn't have, so I volunteered. Chewy and Poe are waiting; they wanted to come, but I said it would be faster this way."

"Poe is here?" Rey asks, her mouth hanging open.

"Yes- Rose and Finn would have come, but they were out on their break, and there was no time to lose." Luke explains. "BB-8 came too; he's more excited to see the baby than anyone." Rey has to smile at this. "Get down!" They duck quickly beneath the cover of trees as a swarm of ties flies overhead. "Go!" He waves his mechanical hand after a moment, and they begin to run again. When the Falcon comes into view she sighs in relief, and she runs up the ramp almost directly into Poe. But there's no time for any conversation, Eloriah falls, and Poe runs out to pick her up and carries her into the ship.

"Chewy, Now!" He calls, and Rey feels the familiar jump of the ship taking off. He sets the nurse down, and runs down to man the guns.

"Who was that?" Eloriah whispers, grabbing onto Rey's hand.

"That...was Poe Dameron." Rey says with a half smile as she observes the nurse's cheeks turn pink while she gazes slightly over her shoulder after him. There's a twinkle in her blue eyes, and Rey can recognize what has caused it without delving into the force. Eloriah takes a seat at the bench, her gaze still flickering down where Poe had vanished. Rey sits down on the bunk, and looks at her daughter again.

"How is she?" Luke asks, coming up to sit beside her.

"She's perfectly fine...she's...she's sleeping!" Rey laughs as she observes the gentle rise and fall of her baby's chest. She lays her down on the cot, and leans herself back so that she's leaning on the wall. "I can't blame her. It's been an exhausting day."

"How are you?" Luke asks, reaching to place his hand on her shoulder.

"I hated leaving him." She shrugs, glancing down at her daughter, who looks so much like her father. "If it weren't for Gemma, I would have stayed with him in a heartbeat. I'd have faced Snoke with him. But he told me that I had to protect her first...and I couldn't disagree."

"I'm glad you listened. He was right." Luke says gently.

"I know that. But I'm so...I'm so scared, Luke." The tears are back again, and she hates it, but Luke doesn't judge her. He gazes at her with such great understanding in his clear blue eyes, that it makes her cry a little harder. "I'm scared for him- Snoke...Snoke has hurt him so much over the years! He's tortured him, beaten him, degraded him into submission!" Her mind races with images of what she'd seen in his memories, of his scars, and by the look on Luke's face, she knows that he's seeing them too. She hadn't made an effort to hide it, really.

"We...We didn't know." Luke says, pinching the bridge of his nose. "We knew he went with Snoke, but after that, we never thought that Snoke would have to go through such lengths to control him."

"It was because he couldn't kill the light! There was too much of it, and he wanted it gone...what if he does it again? What if Ben can't kill him, and he hurts him again?" Rey whispers fiercely.

"When we lost Ben, all those years ago, he didn't think that there was anyone who cared for him. He thought we were holding him back, that we didn't trust him, and I wish that I could say that he was wrong, but in a way, we did. I could have taught him more, but I was so worried about the darkness growing, I held back. I focused on other students. He thought that we didn't care, but we cared so much." Luke sighs. "But you're not going to lose Ben. Not now that he has something to fight for. Someone who has never betrayed him. Someone he is sure loves him- because you do, don't you?"

"Yes." Rey nods.

"That's what Leia told me. Ben is-has always been extremely protective of those that he loves. There's nothing he won't do to come back to you, to protect you. He won't fall for Snoke's tricks again." Luke assures her.

"I know that you were alright with continuing my training when I had the baby, but I know that I've made an attachment now. I know that is against everything the jedi taught-"

"It was. But I've told you before, things have been changing. Denying love and attachment was what caused the downfall of the Jedi order to begin with. If my father had been allowed to love, had been able to speak to the Jedi masters about his fears, then he wouldn't have fallen under the sway of the darkness. I'll continue your training, Rey, if that is what you want." Luke says, and Rey nods.

"It is."

"I was hoping that you would say that." Luke smiles at her. "She really is beautiful, Rey. Congratulations." Rey beamed; she didn't know how it hadn't really occurred to her that Gemma shared DNA with Luke Skywalker. In her mind all she could think was that she was Ben's child, Leia and Han's grandchild. But Luke was her great Uncle, wasn't he? The thought of the baby growing up with so much family made her heart swell.

"Thank you! I love her so much...I can't wait until Leia gets to see her. I can't believe how much she's grown in a month, either...she's just growing into a beautiful little person...have you seen her eyes? They're just like Leia's, just like Ben's. They have been since the day that she was born. Eloriah told me that it was unusual, that most babies had light or blue eyes when they were first born, and then they faded to a darker color over time, but hers...hers were always beautiful and deep and brown."

"You sound like a proud mother. That's good." Luke smiles.

"There is nothing I wouldn't do for her." Rey says, gently brushing her black curls away from her little forehead. Her heart ached with the truth of those words; she'd do anything for the tiny human, even leaving the man she loved alone to face the most dangerous force in the galaxy. Luke catches her hand, and looks at her daughter again.

"You did the right thing, Rey." He says, and she nods slightly. "I know that it's difficult to know that, I feel your conflict. But you've done the right thing. Look at your daughter; she's safe right now, because of you, because of the choice you made. She's safe, and she's with one of her parents. That's what you wanted for her, wasn't it?"

"Yes. Yes, it is. And I know that you're right, I do. I know that he was right, and that I was right to listen to him. But knowing that something is right never makes things easier." Rey sighs.

"You're right." Luke nods. "But sometimes, it will at least give a bit of comfort."

"Yes. I suppose it does." Her daughter's eyes flutter and open, and Luke smiles.

"Look at that. Just like Leia's." He observes. "Just like her sons."

"We lost them!" Poe announces, coming back up. Rey smiles at him, and his eyes fall down to Gemma, now awake and wiggling.

"Wonderful! I'm going to go and uh, see if Chewy needs any help. Maybe see if I can get Eloriah more comfortable." Luke says, awkwardly leaving the space.

"So, this is Gemma." Poe observes, stepping forward awkwardly.

"Yes." Rey nods. He comes a bit closer, and kneels on the floor beside the cot.

"She's uh, she's beautiful." Poe says, smiling at her. "Looks like you. And uh, like him, I think. I haven't really seen his face in person, just in some spy holos, but uh, she's got his hair, doesn't she?"

"She does, she really does." Rey tickles the baby's belly with her index finger. She glances up at Poe through her lashes, and remembers the last time they'd seen each other, the gentle kiss they'd shared. "Poe…"

"Everyone back on the base knows, that it's Leia's grandkid." Poe says casually, and Rey nods. She'd suspected as much, and she wouldn't really have it any other way. Not now. "I mean, we never officially said it was mine, just let people assume. Some of them feel pretty stupid." He smirks.

"Poe, I can't even begin to thank you, for what you were willing to do for us. When I thought that was the only way, Well, you really were my hero." Rey says softly. He shrugs. "You really were, Poe! You were so much better than anyone really deserved."

"I was happy to do it, Rey." It doesn't need to be said that he'd done it not just to be a nice guy, but also because he'd had feelings for her. She opens her mouth to speak, and he holds up his hand. "Hey, I understand, Rey. In another life, right?"

"Yeah…" She says softly.

"Do you think I could hold her?" He asks, and Rey nods. She's surprised how easily Poe scoops her up, and holds her. "She really is gorgeous. Just like mom."

"Flatterer." She rolls her eyes.

"Rey, do you think- Oh, sorry- I didn't...I'll just…" Eloriah begins to back out of the alcove just as quickly as she'd come in.

"No, that's alright Eloriah, come in." Rey says, glancing down at Poe and then at her redheaded friend again. "Poe, this is Eloriah, she delivered Gemma. Eloriah, this is Poe Dameron, best pilot in the resistance."

"Well, we did meet briefly earlier, didn't we?" Poe laughs. He hands Rey her daughter, and shakes Eloriah's hand. "You know, it didn't occur to me until just now that you probably could've walked in on your own. Sorry about that...sometimes I just pop into hero mode. That's what General Organa calls it."

"Oh, no, it was fine, I mean, I'm really not great on my feet- or, I mean, I'm pretty good with my hands, delivering babies and stuff, but coordination has never been my best...thing." Eloriah stammers, her face turning red. "Sorry, talking has never been a strong point either, I guess."

"That's alright." Poe smiles at her, and rises. "Oh- hey, you're bleeding." He gestures to her knee, where she'd scraped it during her tumble.

"Oh- oh! I...guess I didn't even notice." Eloriah shakes her head.

"Can't say I blame you. Probably in a little bit of shock." Poe shrugs, and puts a gentle hand on her shoulder. "Come on then, let's go get you cleaned up."

"Oh, I can handle it myself, I mean, I am a nurse." She says, looking down nervously.

"Come on, what kind of gentleman would I be if I left a lady in need?" He insists. "Besides, I know where we keep our Med Kit. It's a little hard to find. Neatness has never been priority on this ship."

"Go on then." Rey says, tilting her chin towards the opening of the alcove. "Take good care of her Poe, she's a great nurse. She'll be a lot of help in our Med bays."

"What? You can trust me kid." Poe teases, and Rey smiles as Poe makes a quiet joke that makes Eloriah giggle, and then snort. Her daughter looks up at her with her big brown eyes, and she presses a kiss to her forehead.

"What? Mama can play matchmaker sometimes, can't she?" She whispers, and Gemma coos. "Yes, I think so. I knew you'd agree at least." Gemma yawns, her perfect pouty lips parting, and then smacking together gently. "You know, that's exactly how daddy yawns. Did you know that? He wouldn't admit it, but he's absolutely adorable when he yawns. No, not as precious as you, but no one is." A small bubble of saliva forms between those perfect lips, and Rey laughs quietly. "See? You prove my point every second of every day, just by breathing. Oh I love you so much. So does papa. He'd be here with us if he could, you know. But he's doing everything he can to keep you safe, to keep us safe. You're going to be so proud of him, when you're older. I know that you are. I know that I am. And I miss him. It's stupid, he's barely been gone, but our bond hasn't been this silent...ever. Not even the two days he was gone. It's so quiet, empty. But at least I have you- you're so like him. Once, when he thought I was asleep, he was talking to you...and he told you that you were the best thing he'd ever done. The only good thing. I don't quite know if I agree, but it shows how much he loves you, doesnt it?" She asks, holding her a little closer, letting her curl gently against her chest. "But you are the best thing I've ever done. I know that beyond a shadow of a doubt."


	37. Chapter 37: Grandma Leia

**_AN: Your responses make me smile! I'm glad you like Eloriah, because I love her! Anyway, the chapter we've all been waiting for- you can probably guess what it is, based on the title! Lots of Love!_**

She can feel Leia waiting on the landing strip, waiting. She recognizes her force signature very well from feeling it in Ben's head. She gently tries to smooth out her daughter's dark hair, hoping she'll make a good impression on her grandmother.

"Calm down, Rey. My sister is going to be so happy to see her, no matter what her hair looks like." Luke chuckles, and Rey nods. The ship lands smoothly, and She hears Chewy lumber up behind her and let out a low growl.

"No, I'm fine, I'm going to hand her to Leia." Rey laughs, and Chewy lets out a chuckle. "Really?"

"What did he say?" Eloriah asks.

"When Ben was born, Han was too nervous to hold him, so Leia handed him to Chewy." Rey laughs, and wookie runs his giant hand over the baby's head while letting out a low murmur. "I know. I wish Han could be here too. And Ben would want that too. You know that, don't you?" The wookie doesn't say anything, but Rey knows from the look in his black eyes that he knows.

"Ready?" Luke asks, and Rey nods while letting out a trembling breath.

"Now, Eloriah, don't be offended if no one pays you much attention. Gemma there is sort of a base wide curiosity." Poe teases, and she laughs.

"That's no problem, trust me. I'm sure showing up in a First Order med uniform would draw...not the sort of attention I'd like." Poe looks at her thoughtfully, and then shrugs out of his jacket and drapes it over her shoulders, effectively concealing the first order insignia.

"There we go. Not a trace of it." Poe says, and Rey smiles at him.

"Still handing out jackets left and right?" She asks, and he rolls his eyes. "Half of the resistance budget goes to new jackets for Commander Dameron."

"Still so funny. So funny." Poe huffs, glancing slyly at Eloriah as he rubs a hand over the back of his neck. Rey grins, and fusses a bit more with her daughters hair.

"Alright. I guess we can't delay it anymore." She says, and Chewy opens the ramp. The last time she'd made a walk like this, things had been different. She'd been pregnant, she'd been afraid, she'd had no way to know how people would react. Now she had a beautiful daughter in her arms, and she knew how excited the people she loved were to meet her. She was still afraid, very afraid, but not for herself or her child. No, this time she was terrified for Ben. Leia is standing very close to the ramp, like she ran up to wait there as soon as they'd landed. Rey almost runs to her, and holds out the little girl. Leia takes her into her arms at once, a massive grin blooming on her lips.

"Oh look at you, little Gemma!" The general says, bending down to smell her head. "My dear, sweet little girl...I've been waiting such a long time to meet you." Rey's hand flies to her mouth as she watches the first meeting between Grandmother and Granddaughter. She focuses on the image of it through her tears, determined to memorize every second of it to show Ben later on. She knows he'll want to see it.

"This is grandma Leia, Gemma. You know her- I told you all about her." Rey says softly, and Leia raises a hand to touch Rey's face.

"Thank you." Leia says, and Rey sees tears in her eyes, the eyes that are exactly like her daughter's. "Why don't we go to my quarters. We have a lot to catch up on."

"Yes." Rey nods, and resists the urge to grab her daughter up in her arms again. She wants her close, but she senses that Leia needs her more for the moment.

"We'll debrief soon. I'll com all of you when it's time. Rose and Finn too." Leia says, answering Rey's unasked question.

"Very good General." Poe nods. "Oh, um, this is Eloriah, she's the nurse you told us about. Should I get her settled?"

"Of course; Rose already volunteered to share her quarters." Leia says, and Poe nods. "Come on Rey." Leia inclines her head towards the door. As they walk, Rey is hyper aware of the eyes of pilots and engineers on the trio of women, their thoughts so loud Rey can hear them without even trying.

" _I've never seen the General so happy."_

" _So that's Kylo Ren's daughter. Huh, doesn't look like theirs any monster in her."_

" _Can't believe that the Jedi reproduced with that bastard. Probably forced her-"_

Rey's hands are shaking, and she wants to grab the unsuspecting pilot by the shoulders and shake him fiercely to defend Ben. Leia seems to sense this, and puts her hand on Rey's arm, almost dragging her along. She does her best to actively block the thoughts as they continue. She knows she can't take any more thoughts like that. Once in Leia's room, the General gestures for her to take a seat, and then does the same, her eyes still trained on the baby in her arms.

"She's beautiful, Rey. So beautiful." Leia says.

"Is it vain if I say that I know?" Rey asks, and Leia laughs.

"No, not vain, realistic, in this case." Leia nods, grinning again as the baby grabs onto her finger. "Ben looked almost just like this when he was a baby. But she has your beauty. Ben was just, all his father, except his eyes. Those were always mine."

"I'd always been hoping that they'd have your eyes. I was so happy when she opened her eyes; I knew then that she was supposed to be Gemma." Rey grins. "Thank you, for letting me use it."

"It's perfect for her. She's so obviously Gemma Solo." Leia leans back in her chair, and finally tears her gaze away from the baby, turning it to the mother. "I know that you love Ben."

"Yes, I do."

"You brought him back."

"No. I mean, Maybe. But I think that he was...he was never really lost to the darkness. There was always too much light. Snoke knew it too. He...he would hurt him so much, for such a long time." Rey shakes her head. "And I think that Gemma did more to bring him back than I did."

"I don't know about that. When he came into my head across the bond for the first time in a decade, and you were with him...I'd never heard him so at peace. That was because of you, Rey. You brought my son the peace that I never could." Leia shakes her head slightly. "And I heard the two of you, after Gemma was born, when you said you loved him, when you were desperate to keep him with you. All I ever wanted was for him to have that in his life. Someone who really loved him."

"I know that you love him too." Rey says. "Regardless of the pain he's caused...I don't think I really understood that until Gemma was born. Looking at her face...I know there is nothing she could ever do that would make me stop loving her."

"That's what it means to be a mother." Leia smiles fondly at her.

"He is really, truly sorry for what he's done, Leia. I know that he is."

"So do I." She nods, still rocking her granddaughter slowly back and forth in her arms. "I never thought I'd have this...A quiet moment with a grandchild in my arms, with a good woman who my son loves. Han would be...he'd be so happy. And I'm so glad, that his sacrifice wasn't in vain. I told him to bring our son home...and damned if he didn't."

"I love that Gemma has you, and Luke, and everyone else. A family. A real family. The thing I wanted more than anything, that I never thought I'd have. But here I am, with a family of my own. I almost don't believe it." Rey shakes her head.

"Well, you'd better believe it." Leia smiles at her. "Because you're as much a part of this family as any of the rest of us."

"You have no idea how much that means to me." Rey sighs, smiling so broadly it almost hurts. "I just wish...I wish that Ben was here with us."

"So do I. I've been waiting almost fifteen years to be able to hug that boy, and welcome him home. But I can wait a little while longer." Leia says.

"I have to start training again, right away." Rey says suddenly. "I'm giving him two months to get this done on his own, and then I'm going after him, wherever he is."

"I'd argue with you, but I know that there's no reasoning with what the heart tells us. I only hope you'll remember to put Gemma first. If Han and I had remembered that more when Ben was a baby...well…"

"You can't blame yourself, Leia. Snoke was poisoning him from the very beginning. He tried to get to Gemma, but I knew what I was looking for to protect her. But I almost couldn't...That's why I have to go help Ben, if he needs me. We have to do what's best for our daughter. And they only way she'll ever be truly safe is if Snoke is gone."

"You're right, of course. The only way any children, anyone in the galaxy will be truly safe is if Snoke is gone. And that's that."


	38. Chapter 38: Meet Gemma Bey Solo

"Where is she?! Come on, I've been waiting months to see this kid!" Rey hears Finn's voice outside of command before the door is even open. Rose's voice is a quiet murmur as she replies, and Rey is already grinning when the door finally opens. "Rey!"

"Finn!" She holds up the baby as he runs to where she's seated, and he kneels to look at the baby and wrap his arms gently around his best friend. "Oh, I've missed you!"

"I've missed you! Oh my- let me look at her, let me see her!" He insists, pulling away from her to look at the little girl. "Hey Gemma- look at you! You're so pretty, like, your mom, but like ten thousand times prettier!" He teases, and Rey gently swats him on the back of the head.

"Don't be a dummy, Finn." Rose chuckles, and wraps an arm around Rey's shoulders. "I'm glad you're back with us. I was worried about you. But she's really gorgeous. Can I?"

"Of course." Rey hands her over, and Rose smiles at the baby girl.

"Hiya Gemma…" She coos, and Finn looks at her with mock hurt.

"What? She gets to hold her before me? Your best friend!"

"What? She asked!" Rey laughs, and embraces him again now that her hands are free. He holds her equally as tightly.

"How are you? He treat you alright?" Finn asks, still not letting her go.

"Finn, He's changed; I know that you've had to see him do some horrible things, but...He's never been that with me. And now, he's going to make it right." Rey says. She feels like she's had to explain this a thousand times in the last few days, but who would believe that Kylo Ren could be brought back into the light? Finn pulls back, and takes her hands in his, and she can't help but think of the first time they'd met, how she'd yelled at him to stop taking her hands.

"Rose told me, back before you actually left, she told me that she thought you loved him. I told her that she was crazy. Turns out she was actually brilliant, and I owe her an apology." Finn smirks.

"We heard that, didn't we Gemma?" Rose says, gently bouncing the baby. "Man, I haven't held a baby in years- She's so cute! Finn, hold her!" She almost demands, and Finn drops Rey's hand after giving a final squeeze, and makes his arms into an awkward but sturdy cradle. Rose lays the baby in his arms, and his smile grows. He rocks her awkwardly, and makes a quiet cooing noise.

"Hey there kid, I'm Uncle Finn. I'm the cool one, don't let Poe tell you otherwise." He says, and Gemma just blinks at him. "See, we understand each other, don't we Gemma?" She starts fussing, and the look on his face makes Rey laugh hysterically.

"It's okay, Finn, here, I'll take her." She says, and scoops her daughter up safely into her own arms. "She's just so excited, she's had a big day, met more people than she has in the whole first month of her life, you know." She rises from the chair, and starts pacing as the meeting begins. She tries to pay attention, but Gemma starts to cry harder still, and it's all she can focus on. "Shhh, shh, my love…Please…" She coos, an Eloriah comes and puts a hand on her shoulder.

"Here. It's been a while since you fed her last, I think. I mean, have you fed her since we've been off of the ship?" Eloriah asks as she hands her the jacket Poe had given her earlier as a form of cover. Rey's eyes grow wide, and she gasps.

"Oh, My poor Gemma, I'm so sorry! I remembered to change her, but I didn't even think... I'm a terrible mother!" She sits back in the chair furthest from the meeting, and gratefully takes the offered Jacket before she tugs down the top of her dress and the hungry baby latches on almost at once.

"You're not a terrible mother. It's been a busy day, Rey. You've both had everything turned upside down." Eloriah says, and Rey nods, but she still has guilty tears in the corners of her eyes. "Don't worry. She's going to be completely fine. You take good care of her." She squeezes her shoulder, and returns to the seat she'd had beside Poe, ready to tell everything she knew about the First Order, which was admittedly not much beyond medical protocol. Rey was glad she'd already told Leia everything she knew, because the exhaustion of the day was finally catching up to her. She could hardly pay attention to what was going on beyond nursing her daughter. She was beyond grateful when Leia took a moment to give her the key to her own room so she could go lay down.

But it's worse when she's alone.

She lays the baby on the cot, and lays down beside her, stuck by how empty she feels with the bond so cold. She had lived alone for so long, lived without Ben and the bond for so long, she had been so comfortable that way, content...or she'd thought she had been. But without him now, she wanted to cry for the loneliness. Once on Ahch-To, she and Luke had discussed Force Bonds, and he'd told her that they were quite rare, and he didn't know much about them, other than the fact that if one side of the bond died, the other generally died too. She could understand why now. She ached for him, physically, and mentally. Even to hear his voice would be enough, his beautiful, soothing deep voice. She pushes through memories, until she reaches one; one that she knows will bring her some comfort at the very least.

 _She doesn't wake up when the baby cries this time. She's too exhausted. What wakes her up is the change of weight in the mattress when he gets up to tend to her. She nestles down into the pillow and tries to sleep again, but she hears him start talking, and she's transfixed._

" _Shh, Gemma, shh...don't wake your mother. She's had quite a week, bringing you here, and taking care of you." His voice is low, gravely with sleep. She opens an eye, and sees him start to pace back and forth with her in his strong arms, cradled against his bare chest, but the baby still fusses. She should get up to help him. She should tell him she's awake. But she doesn't move. "You were just fed, changed...what do you need? How does she calm you down? She talks to you, doesn't she? I guess I can try that. I'm sorry my voice doesn't sound as nice as hers does." She hears the smile in his voice. "You really are beautiful, aren't you. Before I saw your mother, I'd given up on there being beautiful things in the galaxy. But then, there she was. And here you are, proving me wrong, aren't you? Don't worry, I'm not upset about it. I don't think I could ever be upset with you...how could I? You're the best thing I've ever done...the only good thing that's ever existed because of me." The baby's cries have become less frequent and shrill, and she lets out a hiccup of sorts. "I don't know how to do this whole...family things. Being a father. But your mother doesn't know how to be a mother and she's just...she's amazing at it. I am trying. I will keep trying. There's nothing I wont do for you." The tears have returned to Rey's eyes full force as he settles Gemma back into her cradle, and gets back into the bed. She rolls over, and throws her arm over his chest, pulling his body close to hers. "Woah, hey, are you alright?" He gingerly puts his arms around her, knowing she's still quite tender from the birth just a week ago._

" _I love you. I love you so much." She says, the tears still falling. "I'm not crying because I'm sad, I'm really not...Goodness, Eloriah said that some emotional instability was expected, but I can't stop crying! But I love you, I really love you." she whispers into his neck. "And you love her, don't you?"_

" _Yes. I do." He admits quietly, pressing a kiss against her hair. She feels his long, elegant fingers tracing shapes on her back, and she gives a shuddering sigh and settles against him._

" _You gave me a family." She says softly, kissing the place where she neck meets his shoulder. "Thank you. Thank you."_

" _Most women don't thank men who get them pregnant after they've slept together once." He teases, and she considers slapping him gently, but she settles for rolling her eyes, and shaking her head._

" _I love Gemma very much, but a baby doesn't always make a family. You...you love us. You want us. We are a family, the three of us." She explains._

" _Someday, it'll be easy for you to see how much I love you. How precious you are to me. How much you are wanted. Needed. Force, I need you Rey." He whispers into her hair, and she clings even tighter to him. "And I know that you didnt want me in Gemma's life, at first-"_

" _That isn't true. I always wanted you, I just thought-"_

" _No, I know, and you were right. You were right to think that. But I should be the one who is thanking you, Rey. You've given me everything that you are, you've given me the most precious gifts. Your heart. Your child-"_

" _Our child." She corrects. "I heard...I know…"_

" _I thought you were sleeping." he says, embarrassment in his voice._

" _I know. And it means even more because I know you only said it for her."_

Eventually she does fall asleep, playing the memory over and over in her mind like a holovid, clinging as desperately to the memory of his voice as she had clung to him as they'd fallen asleep that night.


	39. Chapter 39: Normal?

AN: _**Oh my gosh, your kind comments give me life! Heres another chapter- no, there's no Ben, but I promise that's coming! Be patient my loves!**_

The first time Gemma smiles, she's watching Rey spar with Luke, Green and Blue sabers clashing, creating beautiful teal colored light. Her lips twitch up into a gummy grin, and her dark eyes dance with mirth as she watches the bright, colorful blades collide. Leia is holding her, and tells them at once.

"Oh, my beautiful girl!" Rey laughs, and coos, gently prodding her baby belly, making her smile again. "Yes, you've already got the prettiest smile mama has ever seen!"

"She's going to be a happy baby, I think." Leia is grinning at the display of love.

"Oh, I know. She's always going to be happy. That's all I want." Rey says, belting her saber and taking the baby in her arms. "Look at that smile, just like your father's isn't it?" She asks quietly as she presses multiple kisses to her chubby baby cheek.

"You're a natural with her." Leia says, gently patting her shoulder.

"Well, I spent so much of my life being lousy at most things, It's about time that I had some talents." She shrugs.

"My dear, you're good at so many things." Leia assures her. She gives a small smile, kisses her daughter again, and passes her back to her grandmother.

"Again." Rey insists, turning back to Luke.

"We've been training for three hours, Rey. You need a break." Luke says.

"No! There's no time to take a break!" She shakes her head. "I have to train. I have to."

"I understand. And that's fine. Maybe you should sit down, and do some reading, Rey. I have the texts from Ahch-To, and even a few holos." Luke suggests, and She crosses her arms over her chest. "Eloriah said that you needed to be a bit careful, Rey."

"I gave birth six weeks ago, I'm healed, I'm fine!" She insists more firmly.

"Exhausting yourself wont do him any good." Luke says, his voice giving that edge of finality. Rey can't help but let out a frustrated growl as she rakes her fingers through her hair.

"Rey, You know, Gemma will need fed soon. And you didn't eat breakfast. You need to get to the mess hall, and that's an order." Leia says, and Rey nods slowly.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I don't mean to get so frustrated!" Rey sighs, and takes her daughter back again. She's instantly calmer, her daughter always having that effect on her.

"It's alright. I understand. You're facing a lot right now." Luke says with a small shrug. "And I promise, I will train you, and we can train most of the day. But you cannot push yourself too far. That will hurt you, and that would hurt him."

"You're right. You usually are." Rey sighs. She breathes in the light; it's so easy to find here, with her daughter in her arms. A being of pure light. Rey will do everything in her power to keep her that way.

"Go on then Rey. Lunch." Leia insists, and Rey nods. She picks up her wrap, and secures her daughter to her chest before she goes. She shouldn't be surprised when Finn meets her halfway down the long hall, and easily falls into step beside her.

"Leia com you?"

"Yep. Said you probably needed some company." He shrugs. "Plus, I get to hold the kid while you eat, and she's probably the only person on base who actually thinks I'm funny."

"I don't know about that. She's just started smiling, really smiling. So we'll be able to see what she actually thinks of you." Rey smirks.

"Good. I'm ready." Finn says seriously. "Challenge accepted."

"Sometimes you're ridiculous." Rey rolls her eyes.

"JUst sometimes? Rose says it's all the time." He laughs, and takes her hand in his. It's companionable, really, his hand in hers. And she has missed this sort of human touch in the last two weeks. Two weeks. She had not heard his voice, felt his hands, sensed his presence in two weeks. "Hey? You okay? You've got that look on your face again."

"I'm fine. I'm just thinking." She sighs, and runs her free hand over the curve of her daughter's back. "What's the longest you've been away from Rose since the two of you got together?"

"Oh, uh...I don't know. A full day I guess."

"It's been two weeks. And he hasn't reached out at all. The bond is cold. But I can still feel the barrier. It's almost worse than if it was gone altogether. And our daughter...she's smiling, and her lips curl just like his, and he can't see her. If he's missing things like this in two weeks, what will he miss if this lasts for months?"

"It's still weird to hear someone talk about Kylo Ren like you do." She gives him a withering look. "Right, Ben Solo- Sorry, sorry, it's weird- I've spent my whole life hearing about this terrifying, sinister creature in a mask, and then all of the sudden, you come along and change him."

"I didn't change him. He's always wanted to change. His father really started it. I gave him a push. But I like to think Gemma is the one who pushed him over the edge." Rey glances down at the baby girl again. "I want him to come home."

"Rose told me that home is wherever the heart is. So I guess that makes his home with you, doesn't it?" Finn asks gently, and she smiles as they enter the mess hall. SHe's quite used to the stares by now. And she's gotten better at blocking out the thoughts that fly at her. But sometimes a wayward few still get through.

" _Damn, now she's with the stormtrooper? Girl does get around!"_

" _Ren's whore being here puts us all in danger. What was she thinking stealing his child and bringing it here!"_

" _I wonder what Ren actually looks like under that mask. The kid's cute. Maybe he's not so bad."_

Finn takes a tray and fills it for her as they walk through the line. Stew with some purple and bright orange vegetables in it. A grainy roll with seeds in it. A bowl of mush that he tells her is a mashed fruit mixed with sugar and cinnamon. Luxury compared to anything she'd ever had on Jakku, somewhat sparse compared to the delicacies Ben had secured for her while she had been with him. But she'd learned long ago not to complain when she had food before her.

"Rey! Finn!" Rose waves them over to the table where she's sitting with Poe and Eloriah. They sit at the table, and Rey undoes the sling and hands Gemma over to Finn who is waiting with open arms. "I get her next!"

"What makes you think I'm going to share?" Finn asks, already making faces at the baby in his arms.

"Mm, if you want to kiss me ever again, you'll share." Rose shrugs, and Finn nods slowly as if weighing his options.

"That's fair, that's fair. But I've gotta get the little Princess to smile first, Rey told me she's smiling." Finn insists.

"Little Princess?" Rey asks between mouthfuls of stew.

"What? Her grandmother is a princess." Finn shrugs. "If you like it, I came up with it, if not, It was totally Poe."

"Yeah, thanks Buddy." Poe chuckles.

"It's fine. It's sort of cute." Rey shrugs.

"It was all me!" Finn announces proudly.

"I'll be sure to tell her that when she hates it when she gets older." Rose says, and Poe laughs.

"Please, Little Princess could never hate something her favorite Uncle came up with!" Finn says, giving Poe a teasingly sharp look. Rey smiled, her mouth full of bread. Rose finally took her daughter in her own arms, and kissed her downy hair.

"It's okay Gemma, when you get older, I'll teach you how to deal with Uncle Finn's nonsense." Rose assures her, poking her nose, and cooing, and she's rewarded with the baby's third ever smile. "Yes! Suck it dummy!"

"Whatever." Finn crosses his arms. "You may have gotten a smile, but I'm gonna get her first laugh, just you wait!"

"We'll see about that." Rose challenges.

"DO you two have to use my baby as part of some sort of weird power trip foreplay thing?" Rey asks, making Finn cough dramatically, and Rose's cheeks turn pink, and Poe laughs even harder.

"Alright, Alright, pass her over." Poe says, and Rose reluctantly passes the baby to him. He starts making faces at her, much to her delight, and Eloriah watches them both with a bemused sparkle in her eyes. Funny, Rey thinks, that if things had been just a little bit different, Poe would have been holding a child everyone thought was his own. And he'd have been a damn good father too. But the very thought that she had once agreed to deny the true parentage of her daughter was shameful now.

She pushes along the bond, not trying to break the barrier, just feeling it, seeing if there was anything, any way to to feel him. But there is nothing. Not a trace. She remembers nights of lying in his arms, their child moving between them, the bond flowing freely until their hearts were beating in sync. Funny how the resounding beat of her heart only sounds half alive now.

"We were going to watch a holofilm tonight; the General said we could use the rec hall and the projector. What do you think? You'll join us, right?" Rose asks, breaking her line of thought.

"Hm? Oh- no, I...I have to train. And then that'll be past Gemma's bedtime." Rey shakes her head.

"Oh Come on Rey!" Rose protests. "You spend all day training, and every other minute is spent with your daughter; not that I blame you for that, it's good, but we never get to see you! We all know that the General won't mind watching Gemma for an hour or two. ANd you have to relax a little!"

"Well...Maybe I could stay for just a little while." Rey says slowly, and Finn tosses an arm around her shoulder.

"Yes! It'll be good Rey, We'll even let you choose the holo!" Finn says, and Rey smiles. "Dude, we should play that one game- I'll bet Rey will kick butt, with all that force sensitivity!"

"Charades?" Rose asks, and Finn nods.

"Fine, We'll do boys versus girls." Eloriah says with a wry smile.

"Yes!" Rose agrees, high fiving her.

"Okay, that doesn't seem fair." Poe protests.

"Afraid of getting beaten by a bunch of girls?" Rey asks, arching an eyebrow at him.

"Me? Afraid? Never!" He protests.

"Mmmm, but maybe you should be though." Eloriah teases, gently nudging him with her elbow. Rey can't keep the smile off of her face. She's so glad that Eloriah was fitting in so well. She knew that Rose was very fond of her new roommate, and if Rose liked someone, Finn was guaranteed to, and then she got along well with Poe too...Very well. She'd even caught Poe coming into the med bay a few times with some lame excuse about needing something for a headache. She knew that Eloriah had lost a lot in her life; her family, her mother, literal years of her life spent as a servant of the First Order, but now she was living her life to the fullest, and there really was a glow about her.

She wondered if Ben would be able to blend in half so seamlessly.


	40. Chapter 40: Love Is Power

_**AN: Here it is- the moment we've all been waiting for! Get ready to feel some feels- I know I feel some feels when I read this! (PS, you guys, your reviews make me so happy, and I love them, and you!)**_

She's lying flat on her stomach, opposite of the pale green blanket where Gemma is lying on her stomach, gently twisting her her head from side to side and making a mild effort to push herself up on her hands.

"You can do it Gem!" She encourages gently, though Eloriah had made it clear that she probably wouldn't be able to hold herself up for a while yet. "You're determined, aren't you my love? I can see it in your eyes. You're so focused. I understand that." She chuckles, and makes a few faces at her daughter. She's rewarded with a smile, and some gentle enthused cooing. "You know, you're my favorite person to talk to. You're such an enthusiastic listener, hanging on my every word...But I guess that's in your best interest isn't it? After all, I'm the one that feeds you." She laughs softly. "You're growing so much...and too fast, my love. Too fast. It seems like just yesterday I figured out that you were inside of me, and now...now you look at me with those beautiful brown eyes, and I can't help but think you understand me." Her chubby fingers smack down on the blanket, and Rey chuckles. "Come on then, that's enough tummy time." She scoops her up in her arms. "Should we go give you to grandma so mama can train? Yes, I think so. You're all fed and changed, and dressed, and- and…" She chokes, her eyes growing wide. "Ben?" She asks quietly, holding the baby closer to her chest. His eyes rise slowly from the point where he is seated, staring at her, first warily, and then in disbelief.

"Rey?" He asks, his voice strained.

"Ben!" She cries, rushing to him, and then stopping suddenly right in front of him. He looks ragged, and tired, as he had those months while he had appeared to her on Ahch-To. He's wearing one of his usual black tunics, but his sleeves are rolled up to the elbow, and she sees half a dozen short, uniform bleeding lines. "Oh Ben…"

"Please, don't...I don't know if she can see me, but she can't see me this way." It takes her a moment to realize that he means Gemma. She backs away slowly, not tearing her eyes from him, and sets their daughter back down on the blanket before running to him, kneeling at his feet, taking his solid wrist in her hands.

"What happened? What's happened? Oh my love…" She wants so badly to heal him, but she doesn't know that she can when they're like this. "How is this possible? You were blocking the bond so much- How are you here?"

"I still don't understand it." He sighs, and she pulls herself up a bit, putting her hands on either side of his face. "Rey…"

"I don't want you to hurt yourself. I know what the lines mean...I know what they count. I can't...You can't do that to yourself." She says, pressing her forehead to his.

"There was word of a woman who looked like you, hiding on Utapau. They sent me...I had to…" He says, his voice growing thick. "He's testing my loyalty. He knows something is wrong. I can't let him see...He wants her. He wants her and he doesn't care who he has to kill to get her."

"I know." Rey nods, putting her arms around his neck. He's stiff in her hold, but when she starts kissing his neck very gently, he shudders, and wraps his arms around her waist tightly. "I still love you. I love you so much, Ben. I've missed you so much."

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." He says quietly, burying his face in her shoulder, and sobbing.

"Oh my dear dear Ben…" She kisses his hair, his ear, his cheek, everything she can reach. While she's been feeling alone, she's not truly been for a minute. She'd had his mother, their daughter, his uncle, and all of her friends, all eager to help, to support, to love. He truly had had no one. "I love you."

"I haven't seen him in person since the day you vanished. He said that I would come to him when I brought you and the girl- I can't do that. I _won't."_ He says, shaking his head.

"Ben...Maybe-"

"No. I'll find another way." He says.

"I've been training. Master Luke says I'm progressing quickly; I can help you!" She insists.

"He wants you dead. It would have been one thing if he wanted to turn you, but he wants to kill you- he wants me to kill you." Ben hisses pulling back just enough to look her in the eye.

"I know that you wouldn't ever do that." She says firmly.

"No. I wouldn't. But he would just kill you in front of me." He says.

"We would win!" She insists. "Master Luke has told me, my skills have improved. I can help you end him, I know that I can! And if that's the only way we get close enough...Don't you want to end this, once and for all?" She's almost begging. "Don't you want to come home to me?"

"I want that more than anything." He says, his fingers digging into her skin almost painfully. "My Rey...I can't risk you getting hurt. Could you risk Gemma not having her mother?"

"Don't...don't use my fears and my love for our daughter against me. That isn't fair."

"I'm not trying to use it against you. I'm asking honestly, Rey." He insists.

"I believe in us, Ben. I know what we can do together, the force knows what we can do together, that's why it bonded us, brought us together like this. I can't risk losing you any more than you can't risk losing me." She pulls him even closer, her fingers running through his dark hair. "Could you send me into a life without you?"

"Now you're using our bond against me." He growls.

"I'm asking honestly." She says almost teasingly. "Please...I can't take having the bond so cold and silent...I can't. I can't go on like this...it's been a month, Ben. A month. Our daughter...she's smiling now, learning to hold her head up. Soon she'll be able to recognize faces. I need her to know yours. Please. _Please._ Let me help you."

"I...I'll consider it." He whispers, and she smiles. "We would have to plan something...extraordinary."

"Anything we do is extraordinary." She insists.

"This is serious, Rey."

"I am too." She says, finally giving into her instinct, and leaning in to kiss him on the mouth. He moans against her lips and she feels her body begin to tremble. "I love you. I want to help you. I want to end him, for hurting you. For hurting our daughter. For everything he's ever done."

"Be careful, that sounds awfully close to the darkness." He cautions.

"It's not darkness when it is true justice." Rey shakes her head. "If there was another way, if there was _any way_ to bring him back into the light, I would say "Yes, absolutely, let's redeem him", but there's not, Ben. THere's no light left in him. You know that. Everyone knows that. Even Master Luke knows it's the only way. One more death to save the Galaxy. To give Gemma a future."

"How is she? Is she...she's growing?" He glances over her shoulder.

"Can you see her?"

"Barely. She's hazy...like I'm seeing her through fog." He frowns. "But I can't see anything else. It's like before."

"Well, perhaps you've got a bond with her too...not as strong as the one we have, obviously. More like the one you have with your mother." Rey suggests. "I mean, she is part of you. And she looks more like you every day. Her smile reminds me of yours...it's so beautiful it hurts." She kisses the corner of his mouth.

"She's smiling?" He asks to confirm it. She nods, and tucks her face into his neck. "You say she looks like me...I always thought she looked like you."

"Well, she does have my nose." Rey smirks. "I do think she looks a little more like me the older she gets, but she's undeniably yours...her eyes are my favorite- or maybe her hair- it seems like it's growing faster than the rest of her, it sticks up and curls wildly...kind of like yours when you first wake up." He smiles a bit at this.

"I...I have to go report to Snoke. He'll want to know what happened on Utapau." He says slowly, and she pulls him closer. "Rey…"

"No, please, you can't...I can't have the silence again. I can't." She begs, clinging desperately to him.

"I need you to be safe." He says, kissing her cheek. "He's diving into my head more and more often, every day. He can't find you there. If he catches your force signature, he'll be able to find you, and if he finds you, he finds our girl."

"Our girl…" Rey repeats. "I've missed hearing you say that."

"I love you. Both of you." He says, and his voice starts to take on that fuzzy quality that tells her the strange connection is fading.

"You promised you'd consider it- please, please, consider it!" She begs, kissing him one more time.

"I promise." He stands, and sets her on her feet, leaving a long lingering kiss on her forehead as he fades away. For a few moments she feels him in her head, fully and beautifully with her there, and it gently diminishes until it's completely vanished. She falls to her knees, a sob heaving through her chest, sorrow at the loss of his presence threatening to crush her. She's only pulled out of it when she hears her daughter begin to fuss. She crawls over to her, and scoops her up into her arms, rocking her back and forth slowly, pressing her lips to the dark curls on her head.

"I'm so sorry Gemma, Im sorry, did Mama scare you with her crying? I'm sorry." She sniffles, and tries to control the flow of tears running down her cheeks. "Everything is alright, Or it will be alright. You see, Mama is just...she's so worried about you father. He's...he's only just found himself again, and I'm afraid he's going to get lost before he comes back home." She whispers. "There we go my dear little girl, no more tears. For either of us." There's a knock on the door, and it opens slowly.

"Rey? Luke and I were just wondering where...Oh my dear…." Leia comes in and closes the door behind her before coming and kneeling onto the floor next to her. "Come here, it's okay." She soothes, letting the young woman curl into her shoulder, and gently swaying from side to side, letting out a quiet humming as she did. Rey's tears came in torrents again, and it takes all of her focus to remember the baby in her arms. "What's wrong? You can tell me anything, you know that."

"I saw him again, that thing, where neither of us is trying to- and he was right here, and he was...He's hurting so much! I need to help him, but he doesn't want me to!"

"I'm sure that's not true Rey. He just wants to keep you safe. You know that."

"But I can help! And being away from him is killing me- it's killing him too; I could see it in his eyes. And he's...he's hurting himself." Rey stammers, and Leia tenses up a bit.

"Then is this his...Is this his blood? Is that possible?" Leia pinches the fabric of her tunic, and Rey looks at it. Sure enough, smears of his blood on the side of her tunic where he'd wrapped his arms around her, on her shoulder, when he'd lifted his hand to cradle her cheek.

"It is." She nods. "I still can't explain it...it's like, he's solid, he's in the room, but then he can vanish in a second. And he vanished, and closed the bond, and I can't...If it it weren't for Gemma, I'd take one of the X-wings right now and go find him. Even with Gemma, I'm so tempted to go, because I know she'd be safe with you, but I'm so conflicted."

"You said you'd give him two months. It's only been one, Rey." Leia says softly. "I say give him that second month, and then...If you think you've got to, go."

"He just...He can't see...I think he still thinks that Love is a weakness. But when we trained together, just a few times after Gemma was born, he could do so much more than he ever knew he was capable of. His powers were stronger, with the light, with the love."

"Then another month, and I'll let you go. And you'll bring Luke with you."

"What?"

"Well,he's a powerful force user, Rey. He's had decades longer than you or Ben to master the force. And if there could be three of you...three against Snoke, you'd stand a better chance."

"Right. You're right. But...you'll stay away, right? I know you've got the force too, but...that's part of the reason I trust you to be able to take care of Gemma...if something were to happen to us, you're the only one who could protect her."

"I don't know about that. You've seen what happened with my own son."

"You were young. You didn't know what to expect. And no one was sure what Snoke was doing then. I don't think for a second that he'd be able to get past you again. Not now." Rey says, shaking her head. "I just...I always want her to have at least one family member with her. I never want her to be alone. Not the way that I was."

"I won't let that happen." Leia promises her. Rey nods, and looks down at her daughter, who has occupied herself by making strange little faces, and learning the way that her muscles worked.

"I should go train." Rey says, still looking at her daughter.

"You don't have to. You've been training for hours every day. Three hours with Luke, two hours of meditation, and I know that you sneak out in the middle of the night to go to the training ground." Leia chastises.

"I guess I should have known you would know. Gemma doesn't really sleep through the night yet- I'm sorry for leaving her to you when she wakes up." Rey sighs.

"It's part of the reason I asked you to bunk in my quarters after your first week. I caught you lugging the baby with you one night. I figured this way, you'd be able to leave her behind, focus on what you were doing, and finish faster, so you could get some sleep." Leia shrugs.

"I can't tell you how much I appreciate everything you've done for me. For us."

"I made the mistake of putting things before family before. Never again." She shakes her head. "And you are family, Rey. The mother of my granddaughter, the woman my son loves. You're the one who brought Han back...brought Ben back, brought Luke back. If it weren't for you, My family- our family, might never have been brought back together. But here we are. An old washed up princess turned General, and a Scavenger turned Jedi, a mother and the daughter she never had, and her own daughter. Life has a funny way of working out, in ways we never dreamed they would. But that's the nature of the Force."


	41. Chapter 41: Call Me Out

_**AN: Oh my gosh, your responses to the last chapter made my heart sing! I'm so honored that you all enjoy this story!**_

Caring for Gemma, playing with Gemma, training, eating, sleeping. Those were the things that made up Rey's days. She did her best to spend time with her friends, but it became more and more difficult to see Rose and Finn so happy together, and Eloriah and Poe grew closer. She was happy for them, but it made her ache even more for Ben. So she kept to herself, spending any free time with her daughter, or with Luke and Leia. But there was hardly any free time anymore. She threw herself wholly into her training, spending hours at a time fighting off training droids with her saber, running, and getting back into the shape she'd been in before she'd been pregnant. Better even, since she now had access to regular food and water.

"Hey." She glanced over her shoulder, the distraction allowing one of the droids to zap her shoulder with a bolt of energy, making her hiss.

"Thanks a lot!" She called gruffly, turning her attention back to subduing the droids one by one.

"Sorry, sorry." Poe holds his hands up in front of his chest in surrender as he comes further into the training room. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Shoot." She says, still twirling impressively around her droids.

"I mean, can I talk to you without you waving your lightsaber in my face?" He asks, and she sighs, and powers down down the droids with a wave of her hand before she powers down the saber and clips it to her belt.

"What?" She grabs her cantine, and swallows down water as he gestures towards a bench. She follows him, and Sits on the floor in front of it, gently stretching as he watches, his arms crossed over his chest.

"What are you doing Rey?" He finally asks.

"Stretching?" She scoffs.

"You know that's not what I meant, Rey." He rolls his eyes. "Look, we're good friends aren't we? I mean, before you left we talked about everything. I know you."

"What are you getting at?" She asks, looking at him through narrowed eyes.

"Rey, you're training like your possessed! You barely eat or sleep, you've been spending less and less time with Gemma, or that's what Leia tells me. You're always training, always meditating. Rey, it's not healthy."

"You don't understand." She says, shaking her head.

"Then explain it to me, please!" He scoffs, throwing his hands in the air. "Rey, we're all worried about you. Just, will you talk to me? Please?"

"I have to train." She says, still stretching.

"I'm not saying you shouldn't. But it's too much, Rey." He insists.

"It's what I have to do, Poe. I have to train. I have to- it's all I can do, for him!" She growls. "I have to be ready to help him. I have to."

"What good are you going to be to anyone if you train yourself until you're exhausted?" He asks. "Because even someone as strong with the force as you are needs to sleep, needs to eat, needs companions. And your daughter needs you too-"

"Do not lecture me about being a mother! I give her everything she needs! I feed her as often as Eloriah told me to, I bathe her, change her, tuck her into bed, I play with her and talk to her!" Rey cries angrily.

"Hey, hey, no one was saying you're not a good mother. You do, okay, you take great care of Gemma. But how long can you keep that up when you're pushing yourself like this?" He gestures to her as she stretches out one leg. "Rey, I know you want to be help him, to be ready for whatever battle is to come. That's great. But when was the last time you ate?" She stops, startled. "You don't even know, do you? Cause we didn't see you at breakfast this morning, and I didn't see you at dinner last night either. Even if you had some sort of rations or bars, that's not a meal, Rey. You're not taking care of yourself."

"You're right." She says, blinking several times as she processes the information.

"Woah, what was that? Did you just agree with me?" He asks, a bit gobsmacked.

"Don't be an ass." She mutters, gently pressing her temples.

"Yeah, Sorry. My automatic response to stress or uncomfortable situations is sass." He smirks.

"I remember." She lets out a short, humourless laugh.

"The General told us, while you were away, she told us about this bond thing you had with him, that you could hear each other in your head, sometimes you could see each other. And right now you're not...you're not leaving it open?" He asks hesitantly.

"He's keeping it shut. To protect me. And Gemma. The harder it is for Snoke to locate us the better. Master Luke has been helping me cloak Gemma's force signature, but if he could find me, he'd find her, and if all he had to do to find me was delve into Ben's head...well…"

"So, Snoke really was poisoning him, since he was like, in the womb?" Poe scoffs.

"Yes. His whole life. And by the time they really realized it, There was nothing they could do. The darkness got in too deep."

"Kriff." Poe exhales, and runs his hand over his neck. "Look, I know you love him. I know you're worried about him. I know you want to help him. And we all support you in that. But not if you're going to lose yourself."

"I just don't know what to do. I know he doesnt want my help-"

"Of course he doesn't. He's a man, you're his woman, he's probably got Hero Syndrome pretty bad right about now." Poe says seriously.

"Oh please." She rolls her eyes.

"Hey, every man wants to be a hero for his lady!" Poe shrugs. "Plus, you're not just his lady, you're the lady with his baby, so his heroics are going to be way more extreme."

"That's just stupid."

"Stupid comes hand in hand with being a man. Or that's what Rose tells me." Poe sighs. "Look, we all know he's not going to want to be a part from you for long. From what the General has told us, and even from what we knew about Ren, he feels everything very deeply. He loves you, he'll want you with him. That's that. He'll figure it out sooner or later."

"I hope it's sooner." She mutters.

"I'm sure it will be. And in the mean time, by all means, Train. Train your ass off. But just, please, don't lose yourself in it. Come have your meals with us in the mess hall, take a night and go gossip with Rose and Eloriah in their room, hell, come totally destroy Finn and I at Charades again, just...anything."

"Oh, I don't know. I'd hate to be a fifth wheel." Her voice takes on a teasing edge.

"A fifth wheel?"

"You know...Finn and Rose...you and Eloriah." The way his lips quirk up into a smile at the mention of her name tells Rey everything she needs to know. "I'm guessing you'd want to perform some heroics for her, wouldn't you?"

"I just might." He admits.

"Well, she's a lucky girl." Rey smiles, and resumes her stretching.

"Huh. You know. You'd think things would be weirder between us." He chuckles, leaning back and crossing his arms.

"Why?"

"Why?" He reiterates. "I mean, we're still just us, I can call you on your crap, you can yell at me, and it's still so comfortable. But I mean, we've kissed each other. It shouldn't be this easy."

"Yes it should. Because we both know that we weren't really supposed to be together." She shrugs. "I mean, would we have been good together? Yes, I think we would have been. I know we could have been. We are so comfortable together, it's nice. But the Universe had other plans for us. I was always supposed to find Ben. And I think that maybe, you were supposed to find Eloriah."

"Huh. If you got over it so easy, maybe I'd better work on my kissing." He says, trying to make light of it.

"Don't get me wrong, It was very nice-"

"Thank you!"

"You're such an ass!" She laughs, and he pulls her up from the ground, wrapping her in a hug.

"I'm so glad you're back." He sighs, squeezing her tightly. "Come on. Let's go have lunch."

"Lunch sounds...amazing." She nods, and he offers her his arm as they head towards the door. She rolls her eyes, but tucks her hand into the crook of his arm again.

"What? Im a gentleman at heart!" He shrugs.

"Right." She laughs. "So, have you told Eloriah how you feel?"

"Nah. Not yet. It wasn't the time."

"Why not?"

"I've only known her for a month-"

"And a half!"

"A month and a half. I'm not going to go scaring her off."

"Oh please, I don't think you could scare her off if you tried! She's obviously smitten with you."

"Really?" He asks, raising an eyebrow. "Huh. So BB-8 was right."

"You should listen to him more often." Rey laughs. "I hope you go for it. She really is wonderful. And Fearless."

"I know." Poe smiles.

"And I mean, time isn't important. If something should happen, it will happen." She assures him.

"I guess Gemma is proof of that." Poe teases, and she punches him in the shoulder.

"Um, Ow!" He rubs his shoulder. "Hey, all that training is paying off, you can really pack a punch!"

"You should see what I can do with the force." She laughs.

"I'd hate to be on the receiving end." He laughs. "Remind me not to piss you off!"

"It should be pretty easy to remember. Dont piss off the Jedi in training." They laugh together and fall into companionable silence again.

"You've got that sparkle back in your eye again." Poe smiles. "It's good to have you back Kid."

"Good to be back, flyboy."


	42. Chapter 42: Flashes

"She's so amazed...kid, they're just fingers…" Finn says, staring at Gemma as she wiggles her chubby fingers in front of her face before stuffing them in her mouth. The baby had just gotten over a mild cold, which had scared Rey to death, and completely thrown off her plan to go after Ben by the end of the month. Two extra weeks had passed now, and she was getting anxious to see him again.

"Don't be a spoilsport Finn, as far as Gemma is concerned, she's just figuring out that each finger is it's own thing, and she can move one at a time. It's pretty darn amazing." Eloriah insists.

"Yeah...it must be so cool to be a baby! Like, people do everything for you, carry you everywhere, fawn all over you, every day is like an adventure of discovery...That's the life, I'm telling you." Finn sighs dramatically and drapes his arm over Rose's shoulder.

"It wouldn't be nearly as cute if you did it." Rey says, her smile growing broader as her daughter reaches a hand in her direction. She gives her one of her own fingers, and the baby locks her chubby fist around it. "Maybe I'm biased, but I'm sure there's never been a cuter being in the galaxy."

"Damn straight!" Finn says, and then he looks at Rose suddenly. "Oh, well, I mean, other than Rose- cause she's obviously the cutest-"

"Stop digging yourself into a hole; I have eyes, I know that the baby is cuter than me." Rose rolls her eyes, and leans into his side. "She gets cuter every time I see her."

"You see her everyday." Rey laughs.

"I said what I said!"

"As someone whose dealt with more babies than the rest of you combined, I will have to say Gemma is exceptionally cute." Eloriah announces, making Rey beam with pride.

"Did you hear that Gem? The baby expert agrees with mama...yes, that's my sweet girl!" Rey tickles her stomach, and the most delicious sound Rey has ever heard rings out of the baby's perfect pouty lips. "Did you hear that? That sounded like a laugh, didn't it? A real one!"

"It did- it was!" Eloriah grins, and comes to kneel on the floor on the other side of the green blanket that Gemma was lying on. "I told you it was coming soon!"

"That's my girl! Oh you're so beautiful!" She leans down and kisses all over her chubby cheeks, eliciting another beautiful laugh. "Yes, yes, you're so happy my love, that's exactly how it should be!"

"Her eyes wrinkle like yours when she's laughing." Rose observes, smiling broadly. "Like mother like daughter."

"Well she had to get something like me, so much of her is just Ben." She says, feeling the familiar ache when she thought of him. She feels along the barrier he's locked tight, trying to take comfort in the fact that it's mere existence was proof that he was still alive. He was still strong enough to keep it standing. But she hadn't seen him or heard anything across the bond in nearly a month now. The only way she got any information at all on his activities were the spy reports Leia shared with her...and those brought her no comfort. She clears her throat, and purses her lips. "Where's, uh, where's Poe? I thought he was going to have dinner with us."

"Still out flying. Some kind of recon mission." Eloriah shrugs. "We don't have to wait for him, he said if he was late we could just get dinner and start our holo film."

"Well are we in a huge hurry?" Finn asks, and no one speaks up. "Why don't we just wait a little then? If little Princess is laughing, I don't wanna miss an opportunity to prove how hilarious I am."

"Dummy." Rose laughs, and he kisses her cheek. "My dummy."

"Darn Right."

"Hey, Rey, did Eloriah tell you Poe kissed her yesterday?" Rose asks, and the nurse gasps. "What?"

"She didn't, but I knew it was only a matter of time." Rey smiles at her. "I told him he should just go for it two weeks ago. Glad he finally listened."

"Does everyone have to know?" She glances at Finn, and He holds up his hands.

"She didn't tell me, Poe did, like, last night. Basically right after he dropped you off by your door." Finn admits, and Rey smiles.

"That sounds just like him."

"He was pretty stoked." Finn nods, and Eloriah's face is nearly as red as her hair.

"I was going to tell you, Rey, I just thought when we got a moment alone-"

"You don't have to explain, Eloriah. I'm very happy for you." Rey smiles, and gently puts her hand on her shoulder. "He's a very good man. The best."

"Hey!" Finn protests, and Rey rolls her eyes.

"Don't worry, she said he was the best man, you're not a man, you're a child." Rose teases.

"Ouch! You guys see what I put up with?"

"It's good, Finn, someone has to keep you in line." Rey shrugs. She picks Gemma up, and grins when the baby curls into her chest and yawns. "Is someone sleepy? You've had a big day haven't you? Did Grandma wear you out? And laughing is such a taxing business, isn't it Gem?" She presses a kiss to her beautiful dark hair. "I should probably go ahead and get her settled in for the night."

"Here, I can help." Eloriah offers, reaching for the baby.

"Oh, you dont have to do that-"

"I don't mind it. It's been a long time since I got to just...take care of a baby." She sighs. "I'll just change her, you can grab her some pajamas."

"Well, I won't say no to that." Rey laughs, and passes the baby over. She goes to the little metal dresser in the corner of the room, and pulls out a little clean white nightgown. "Here we go, I think its-" The nightgown slips through her fingers, and she falls to her knees, clutching her head.

"Rey? Rey!" Finn is by her side in an instant, hands on her shoulder. She can't move, can't breathe. The pain coming through the bond is excruciating, and she's only catching what's leaking through the bond he was trying so desperately to conceal. She presses her palms into her eyes, and curls down over herself, letting out a quiet cry of pain. "Rose, go get Luke and Leia. Go!"

" _Ben! Ben!"_ She calls, throwing herself against the bond furiously. She needs him to take her strength, her light, anything she has that might help him, but he stubbornly keeps it closed. "Ben!" Things are starting to slip through- Electric blue, and dangerous, lethal, Harsh, barking laughter. "Damn it Ben! I know you're strong enough to combat this! Fight damn it! Fight!" Her body is trembling, her mind feels like it's buckling as she continues to try to open the bond. She's only vaguely aware of Luke and Leia entering the room running.

"Take Gemma out of here; now!" Leia demands, and Eloriah gathers her up in a blanket and leaves the room, giving one last desperate glance at the child's mother. Luke is already at Rey's side, and Leia is quick to join him there. "Rey? What is it? What's going on?"

"Something is wrong! He's in so much pain- I can feel it!, but he's keeping the damned bond up!" She cries, her nails digging into her shoulders. "Ben! Please...let me in, let me in!"

"I don't understand, if the bond is closed how is she getting any of this?" Leia asks, looking at her brother.

"A force bond is complicated. From what I've read, if it's fully opened, they would be able to feel everything that the other feels, even air on the other's skin. In a desperate situation, things are bound to get through." Luke says thoughtfully, and suddenly, Rey is thrown back against the wall, letting out a shriek as the bond is blown open.

" _Ahh, and there she is. I knew if I dug deep enough I'd find you, Scavenger."_ The mere sound of his voice sends shocks of distaste down her spine.

" _Rey- Get out- get him out!"_ Ben's voice is strained, angry and exhausted. " _You've done it before, you can do it now!"_

" _If she leaves, I'll kill you."_ Snoke says, and Rey feels her heartbeat speed up drastically. " _OH, She loves you. How sweet."_

"Leave him alone! He isn't the one you want! I know that it's our daughter- killing him won't help you get her!" Rey screams as Luke and Leia look on in concern.

" _Oh, I don't anticipate that I'll have to kill him...it will be all too easy, girl. Your love for eachother...this bond you cherish so much...a weakness. A great weakness. It will be almost too easy...and here I'd hoped for a challenge!"_

"I'll kill you." She hisses, and he laughs, another bolt of energy hits Ben's chest and she screams in rage.

" _You can try, my dear...It'd probably be more fun if you did."_

"Fun? I'll make you regret those words monster!"

" _You might...if you'd only embrace the darkness...I can feel it welling up inside of you...release it...send me out. Oh, but you won't, will you? Tsk tsk...so much potential, wasted…"_

"No. It's not a waste. And Darkness can always...be chased away…" She inhales, bringing in all of the light, feeling Luke and Leia's light joining her own, and somewhere far away Ben's light starts to meld too. "By the light!" She pushes against Snoke and he buckles.

" _You're a fool!"_

"Perhaps!" She growls, and pushes him again, with so much force that the furniture in the room around her begins to shake. He pushes back, hissing, and then he's gone, and she falls against the floor, her body smacking against the metal harshly.

"Rey!" Leia and Luke call in unison, picking her up and bringing her to the bed.

" _Ben...My Ben...Please…"_ She doesn't quite know what she's asking for. Every muscle in her body shakes, and burns, but she feels that he feels much, much worse. " _Why didn't you fight back? You've caught the lightening before, why not do that again?"_

" _He wasn't here...with me...not physically. There's only so much you can do in self defense when there's no body in front of you."_ His breathing is ragged. " _He didn't find Gemma? She's unharmed?"_

" _She's fine. Her cloak held."_ Rey confirms this by feeling out through the force, sensing her daughter still with Eloriah, happy and listening to some old lullabye that falls prettily from the nurse's lips. " _Ben, you have to move. You have to get to us."_

" _I...know."_ His voice is small as he admits his defeat.

" _You have to come to me, my love, please, before he sends others against you...he's bound to be reeling from being pushed out, that will give you a moment, but not long. Where are you? Can you get to a ship?"_

" _Yes."_

" _You have my location?"_ She sends it to him visually. " _You'll come?"_

" _Yes."_

" _You haven't failed, Ben."_ She soothes the anger and disappointment he felt in himself. " _Get home to me. And we'll figure out everything else from here. Just...come home."_

" _I'm going to have to cloak my force signature...maybe try to cut it off-"_

" _What?!"_

" _Not permanently, Like Luke did before you came to Ahch-To. Just so he can't find me...But that does mean the bond will be quite...diminished."_

" _Do what you have to do. Just come back to us. I love you. I love you so much."_

" _I love you. More than anything."_

" _Are you...are you hurt badly?"_

" _It's nothing."_

" _I don't believe you."_

" _It will heal."_

" _I'll heal you when you get to me. So hurry up. We're waiting. All of us."_

" _All of you?"_

 __" _Your mother. Me. Your uncle. Your daughter. We're waiting."_

" _My daughter…"_ She can almost see the visual he forms of Gemma, still the tiny one month old she had been the last time he'd seen her. Two and a half months had changed things. " _I'm going. I'm coming to you."_

" _We'll be waiting my love. We will be waiting."_


	43. Chapter 43: Visions

_**AN: Alright everyone...here it is...the chapter you've all been waiting for!**_

"Close your eyes, Rey...It's been a week. You need to sleep." Leia kneels beside her bed, and strokes her hair gently. "He'll come soon, you know that, I know it. I feel it. We'll wake you at the first sign of anything."

"I should give Gemma her bath." Rey protests feebly. She's barely slept in the week since she'd spoken to him, since she'd pushed out Snoke. Less than two hours most nights.

"I can give her a bath. You sleep." Leia says softly, still stroking Rey's hair the way that Rey herself would stroke Gemma's. Her eyes fall shut slowly, and she swears she can hear Leia singing softly as she drifts off.

 _She's back on Ahch-To, but this time, she's not pregnant. Her body is thin and strong, well trained, powerful. She's running barefoot through the grass, past the little Village of Caretakers, past the little stone beach where they'd landed the falcon, to the ancient, beautiful jedi temple. She can feel the wood under her fingertips, and she enters, gazing everywhere._

" _Ah, I've been waiting a long time to meet you." She turns all around, looking everywhere, but she can see no one. "Don't be afraid. I'm a friend." Suddenly, a hazy, blue figure appears before her. A young man, maybe the same age as Ben, with sandy blonde hair and a mischievous smile._

" _Who are you?" She asks warily, sensing that this is more than just a dream._

" _I think you know the answer to that." He laughs, and she gasps._

" _Darth Vader."_

" _Anakin, actually. I stopped being Darth Vader years ago." He sighs. "Come on, take a seat." She follows him, and does take a seat on one of the low wooden beams._

" _What are you doing here?" She asks. "This isn't a dream, is it?"_

" _It is...and It isn't." He says shrugging. "You are asleep, but am I actually talking to you through the force? Yes."_

" _Okay...Why?"_

" _Well, you are in love with my only grandchild. You're the mother of my only Great Grandchild. I've been wanting to meet you. But it was never the right time."_

" _And now is?" She scoffs._

" _Yes. It is." He nods. "Because my grandson is on his way back to you. He's in a bad way. He'll need healed straight away."_

" _How bad?"_

" _He took enough force lightning and energy rods to the back to kill any man. He's clinging to life to get back to you and his daughter. You'll have to use force healing; and his mother, she'll be able to help you. She's always excelled at force healing." He says, a hint of pride in his voice. "And once he's healed, there will be a very limited window of time to get to Snoke, to end this. To bring balance."_

" _That would be easier if we knew where the hell Snoke was."_

" _I can help with that." Anakin smiles. "Trust me, I'll be coming to you again with more information when I have it. The main thing now is healing Ben. If he dies, you stand almost no chance of defeating Snoke. He's spent long enough with Snoke to know his weaknesses...the two of you working together, you can and will defeat him. Separated, he'll be able to use you against each other. That was Ben's mistake, sending you away. I know he wanted protect your child, but he should have known the distance from you would make him weak."_

" _What was he supposed to do, leave Gemma somewhere that Snoke could have gotten her?" Rey asks angrily._

" _No, He did what he thought was best. It's admirable, how much he was willing to endure for both of you. But this time, you'll have to leave your daughter behind, where she'll be safe."_

" _With Luke and Leia." Rey nods. "Leia said we should take Luke with us."_

" _No. I don't think you'll need him. Not if you and Ben can focus on your connection to each other, and learn to use it. The two of you together...there's nothing you can't overcome. Believe me. I've had a vision...if you and Ben trust your bond, you will win."_

" _...Okay." She exhales slowly. "I believe you."_

" _Good. I knew you were going to be a good thing for my Grandson. For my family- for the whole galaxy, actually." He smiles at her. "You're going to be pretty busy, for the next month or two here, but if you remember, would you tell my daughter that I'm sorry."_

" _For what?"_

" _Everything." He sighs._

" _Why don't you tell her? Can't you reach her?"_

" _She doesn't want to talk to me. I've tried in the past, but I'd rather respect her wishes to be left alone. But I still try to apologize when I can. Luke is usually the one who passes it on to her, but there's no reason you can't too."_

" _Right. Well, I'll tell her."_

" _Thanks." He starts to rise, and she gestures for him to stop._

" _Wait- why- if you can appear like this, why didn't you ever just appear to Ben, for all those years? Couldn't you have just told him that you didn't want him to Finish what you started?"_

" _I tried, but when he was younger, Snoke would use his own darkness to block me. ANd when he got older he was too lost to the darkness, I couldn't reach him. I started to be able to get to him about a year ago, but I was able to speak to him fact to face for the first time last week."_

" _A year ago- so, after well…"_

" _Yes, after you...met, on Starkiller base. You opened him up to the idea of the light again, but he was still clinging to the darkness...last week he finally let go of all of it. Or well, all of the excess. There's some darkness in every living being. A balance."_

" _That's...that's good to know." Rey smiles to herself._

" _It's time to wake up. Ben will be landing in minutes." He says, grabbing her and pulling her up._

" _Leia is going to kill me. She told me to sleep and it's been all of what? Five minutes?"_

" _Rey, you've been asleep for ten hours." He laughs._

" _That's ridiculous!" She scoffs._

" _Maybe, but you needed the sleep. You've been exhausting yourself."_

" _I never sleep for ten hours."_

" _Until today." He shrugs. "When you wake up, my daughter will say something along the lines of "Good morning, or should I say afternoon" eccetera, and you'll tell her about the vision, and then you'll go find my grandson."_

" _Right...Thanks." She says._

" _I made a lot of mistakes with family when I was actually alive. Might as well try to what I can now." He walks towards the opening of the temple, and then stops and looks back at her. "By the way, cute kid. I'd say she got her looks from my side of the family, but you're much prettier than Ben." He walks out and she follows after him, but there's no trace of him anywhere, just the gentle breeze and the smell of the ocean…_

"Good morning sweetheart, or should I say good afternoon?" Leia asks, from where she's seated rocking Gemma. "I got a little worried when you didn't wake up after five hours, but Eloriah said that you were probably just over exhausted, and we should let you sleep until you woke up. Tried to give Gemma a bottle, she didn't like that much, but she got something. You'll have to feed her soon though."

"He's coming. Today. Any time now." She says, getting out of bed, and pulling out clothes for the day as quickly as she can.

"What are you talking about?" Leia asks. "Did Ben tell you- did he open the connection?"

"No, actually, um, Anakin Skywalker came to me, in my dream-"

"He what?"

"He told me that Ben is minutes away, that he's badly hurt- he needs force healing, help from both of us, or he's not going to make it." Rey explains. Now that she was awake she could sense him, just barely on the edge of her mind. She steps into the Fresher, leaving the door partially open as she changes and splashes her face with water.

"And you're sure it was...my father- and not Snoke? It's not a trap?" She says, her voice dripping with disdain.

"I'm positive, Leia; He told me...he told me to tell you that he was sorry. For everything."

"That...that is him. He always tells Luke that...It was him."

"It was. I know it- I've heard what it sounded like in Ben's head when Snoke would manipulate him by pretending to be your father, and this was nothing like that; and it wasn't dark, either." She opens the door and steps out. "He's going to need us. I...he can't die, Leia. He can't. I need him, the whole Galaxy needs him."

"Then we have to get moving!" Leia stands and grabs her wrap.

"Here, hand her to me, I'll feed her on the go." Rey says, grabbing the sling.

"No, this time, you're going to have to put Ben ahead of Gemma. If what my...father, said is true, he's going to need all of our attention. Eloriah can watch her, and get another bottle in her if needs be. It's just one time. It doesn't make you a bad mother." Leia insists, and Rey nods reluctantly, tugging on her gray ankle boots as the com beeps. "What is it?"

"General, there's an unauthorized ship approaching- it's not quite heading for the landing strips, should we-"

"Don't touch it. I'll handle it personally." Leia instructs firmly.

"Yes Ma'am, should we send back up?"

"Have a med crew on standby, other than that, we're fine."

"Yes Ma'am."

"I'm going to take Gemma to Eloriah, you go now, take your tracker, I'll find you as soon as I can. Get started with Ben." Leia says, tossing her the tracker. Rey shoves it in her pocket, and begins running as soon as her door is open. She draws several looks from the people in the halls, but she doesn't give them a single thought. All she can think of is Ben. Even if she couldn't sense him, she'd be able to see the slight trail of smoke where it his ship had gone to land. She runs even faster, pushing herself using the force, her feet hardly touching the ground between steps.

"Ben?!" She cries when she sees the shape of a ship; an old beater he must have traded his first order ship for at some point in the week. The hatch opens, and he's there, leaning heavily on the door. "Ben!" He stumbles forwards to reach her, but she closes the distance quickly, catching him just as he almost trips. She gently sits him on the ground, and takes in his appearance. Bruises cover his pale skin, scrapes and cuts like a web on his exposed neck and shoulder where the dark black fabric of his tunic has torn away. But she senses the worst of it radiating from his back.

"Rey…"

"Shh, Ben. You're here. Everything is going to be alright now, I promise." She says, letting her fingers gently trail along his jaw.

"Kiss me." He says quietly, the look in his eyes haunted. "Please." She leans in, careful not to touch his wounds, and presses her lips to his. Warmth flows through her veins, and she smiles against his lips, until she realizes that his lips are unnaturally warm. She leans back, and brushes her hand against his forehead, feeling it burning up.

"I have to start healing you. You don't get out so easily." she grabs the bottom of his shirt, and carefully peels it from his skin, though parts of it seem to crumble in her fingertips as others seem welded to his skin with what she can only assume is drying blood.

"You know, usually, it's way more fun when you undress me." he says, his voice raspy.

"Well, when you're better, I promise." she tosses the ruined black fabric aside, and circles around to his back. "Oh Maker! How- how are you still alive?!" half clotted wounds cover every inch of it, deep, some of them to the bone. Some burns, extreme and painful, but not oozing blood, at the very least. "Oh Ben...Ben…"

"Pretty bad, huh?" he asks, gritting his teeth, the slight exertion of lifting his arms to remove the shirt having restarted the bleeding.

"Honestly, I'm shocked and relieved that you made it here in one piece." she lifts her hands. "This shouldn't hurt much- it's going to be uncomfortable." She cautions.

"Just do it." He growls weakly, and she takes a deep breath. She prioritizes the bleeding wounds, knowing that it's only by some miracle that he hasn't succumbed to blood loss already. She focuses on the light, and gently lays her fingers on his back, visualizing the layers of muscle and skin knitting back together. She finishes the first one, and her fingers are already trembling. "Are you okay?"

"Don't ask me that, you're the one who's bleeding out!" She chuckles weakly, and admires her handiwork. She breathes in and moves to the next gash, the longest one, spanning several ribs, and does the same thing. It takes longer, and she guesses by his wincing that it's painful. "Sorry- sorry!" She says, halfway through healing it.

"It's fine…" He hisses. She nods and continues, gritting her teeth, eventually closing up the wound so that all that remains is a pale pink puckered scar. She lets out a long breath, and shakes herself out. "Rey…

"No, no worrying about me! I'm fine, I just...I've never healed wounds like this before. Scrapes, cuts, minor burns- the worst I ever had to do was your hands that one time before Gemma was born. It's tiring, but it's fine." She says, and dabs a bit of sweat from her forehead. She chooses another gash, and repeats her process a third time. She's vaguely aware of the beeping tracker, relieved that Leia is coming. She's at least had more practice with force healing. She's just finished closing up the slash when Leia comes into the clearing, a med crew not far behind.

"Oh my son…" She takes a sharp breath, staring at him with dewy eyes.

"Mama?" He asks quietly, his voice beginning to slur. "Mama, I'm so sorry." She runs to him, and takes his face in her hands, staring at his eyes, brown meeting brown.

"My sweet boy…" She leans in and kisses his forehead, her tears dripping down into his matted hair. She shakes it off slightly, slipping back into her reserved general persona."We can talk later. I'm going to help Rey right now. We'll get the worst of these sealed up, and we'll get you to the medics." She takes a seat next to Rey behind him, and takes her hand. When their energy combines, Rey lets out a sigh of relief. The healing becomes easier, more effective, but by the time the worst of the cuts have been dealt with, her entire body is trembling, her head is spinning, and she feels as though she might be sick. "Get him on the stretcher, to the med unit immediately, he's got some sort of infection that Force healing won't get at." Rey comes around to the front of him, and puts her hands on his face, seeing his eyes have faded.

"Come on my love, please, you're alright, I know you are!" She begs as the medics bring the stretcher forward. "You held on for this long, you have to make it! Please, we have our daughter- she laughed, you have to hear her laugh, it's so beautiful, it's like music!"

"Rey you have to stand back so they can help him." Leia says softly, putting her hands on her shoulders. She takes a step back, but keeps talking to him.

"Please, please, Ben, If you can just survive this, I promise you anything you want, anything; I'll have a dozen more babies, we could raise them in the middle of a desert, I'll never even mention green again if you didn't want me to, just please, please be alright." She begs as she sees him go limp on the stretcher. In the back of her head she knows that her begging him for this is unfair; he has no more control over this than she had when he begged her while she was in labor. "Please, please, Ben, you promised me…" She takes a step to go after him and the world spins.

"Rey!" She's not even sure whose voice it is she hears before everything goes black.


	44. Chapter 44: Together Again

AN: **_Alright, you're in for a long one, because I actually combined what was originally two seperate chapters! I hope you enjoy it!_**

She wakes up gasping for air in her own bed in the room she shared with Leia. She sits upright, looking around the room frantically trying to make sense of her surroundings. There's still a mild pounding in her head, and her muscles feel a little sore, but it's not so bad. She stumbles into the fresher, and runs the sink, splashing water over her overheated skin, and then grabbing a glass and drinking thirstily first one glass, and then a second. She leaves the room quickly, her feet carrying her to the Med unit almost of their own accord.

"There she is." Finn says, coming up and wrapping his arms around her.

"How is he? What's going on? Is he alright?" She asks when she pulls back.

"He's still out cold. They're giving him antibiotics, and have him basically bathing in bacta." Leia says, coming over and handing over her daughter. "You're just in time to give her dinner."

"Dinner? What happened to lunch?"

"It's actually probably too late for dinner. You were out for a few hours." Finn informs her.

"I'm sorry." Rey frowns.

"You just need to take care of yourself, Rey." Finn insists. Rey nods, and looks down at her daughter who is babbling at her in her sweet baby language, telling her mother all about her day. "You drained yourself pretty hard healing some of those wounds."

"I did what I had to do." Rey shrugs, pressing a kiss to Gemma's forehead, which is met with a delighted smile. "I'll settle in with her, get her fed, but I need… I need to see him, please."

"Come on." Leia sighs, gesturing for the younger woman to follow her, which she does quickly. "Now, he might not wake up for a few days, but I knew you wouldn't want to leave him, so I had a cot put in, and i'll Gemma's cradle brought too. I'm going to send some dinner to you too, you haven't eaten since yesterday." Leia opens the door, and she sees him. Pale, wrapped in a bacta suit, needles in his arms, administering medicines from various bags.

"Oh my love…" She comes up and sits next to the chair next to the bed.

"I'll be back in a bit to check on him. I have to meet with the rest of the commanders, talk about what his presence means."

"He's helped you. In the past. He gave you information while I was with him." Rey defends him. "He came here inches from death, if that's not a sign of his loyalty, then I don't know what is."

"I know, Rey. Trust me, I just got him back. I'm not going to let him go for anything." Leia says, and she reaches up to brush some of his hair off of his forehead. Rey notices it's damp, as if it's been washed. "The deal we'd struck still stands. He promised to help us take down Snoke, we promised him freedom from trial." Rey nods. "Alright. I'll tell Finn to get you some dinner."

"Thank you." Leia nods and exits the room. She begins to feed her daughter, all the while keeping her eyes on Ben, concentrating on the rise and fall of his chest. When she breathes in deep enough, and focuses in on him, she can feel the beat of his heart, and hers changes to match his, with every beat seeming to sing " _Alive, I'm still alive, Still alive, still alive."_ "Ben? My Ben, I don't know if you can hear me, but I'm here. Do you know that? I think you must. My heart is beating in time with yours...I have our daughter with me, can you feel her light? Cling to it, let it heal you...I wish I could heal what's inside as easily as the wounds on the outside, but I know you won't give up on coming home to me, not when you're so close. Not when you promised me you'd be with me as long as I wanted you. I have never stopped wanting you, not for a second. And I never will. Never." She starts humming tunelessly, glancing down at her daughter who is staring up at her with her big brown eyes. "Don't worry Gemma, your father will be okay. I know he will. He has to be."

...

She never leaves his side. It takes five days for him to open his eyes, and shes there every minute. Sometimes Leia would sit in the room in silence, keeping her eyes locked on her son. Finn or Rose would come to bring her her meals, keeping her company for a little while. But she's completely alone with him and their daughter when his beautiful brown eyes fly open.

"Rey!" he gasps, looking around wildly.

"Ben?!" she rolls out of the little cot, and climbs onto his narrow bed, gently putting her hands on his face. "Hi." she laughs, tracing his features with her fingers.

"Hi?" he chuckles, his voice hoarse. She leans in, and kisses him softly, just a gentle peck against his lips.

"How are you feeling?" she asks, continuing to trace his beautiful features. "Maker your eyes are so beautiful!"

"I feel fine." he assures her, gingerly lifting his hands to cradle her face. "I never thought I'd see this face again...so perfect." he tries to sit up, and she quickly helps him. Across the room Gemma lets out a loud gurgle, and his face turns towards the sound at once. "Gemma?" he whispers.

"Yes." she rises swiftly, and goes across the room to scoop her up. "I told you, we were waiting for you here."

"Can I...see her?"

"Ben, you don't have to ask to see your own child." she scoffs, and comes to sit on his bed again, holding Gemma out so he can see her clearly. She watches as they regard each other with the same brown eyes.

"She's...bigger." he says, lifting a hand to touch her face, but freezing and withdrawing. But the baby reaches up, her chubby fingers gripping one of his, regarding it thoughtfully before pulling it between her lips. Rey lets out a laugh, and his low rumbling laughter joins hers; but the joyful sound is incomplete until Gemma joins in and he stops and stares in wonder. "Amazing. She's amazing"

"Isn't she?" Rey asks, kissing her hair. "I love her so much...I love _you_ so much."

"You're both...so Beautiful."

"You're not so bad yourself, you know." she smiles, and kisses his jaw, which is covered in stubble. "Hm. I don't know that i like the beard."

"consider it gone." he shrugs.

"I suppose i should tell someone you're awake. See about getting you out of the Med Unit." she sighs, reluctant to leave his side even for a second.

"Just...stay. for just a second." he says, lifting his arm and wrapping it around her shoulders. "So it can just be the three of us, for just a second."

"The three of us. Our family." she says, an involuntary smile curling up the corners of her mouth. "I was so worried about you, the whole time you were gone. I hated the bond being closed."

"So did I."

"And right now...it's so strange. Like, I can feel the bond but it's wrapped in gauze."

"I know. Everything is muted right now. Colors, sounds, all of my senses. Is this how it feels to be born without the force?" he murmurs, burying his face in her hair and taking in her scent.

"Soon you can open yourself up again. We're going to defeat Snoke. You and I together, I know it, I've always known it." she insists.

"I know. When I was hit...my grandfather appeared to me."

"He appeared to me too! He told me when you were going to arrive; and he told me that if we worked together, stood united, we'd win."

"So we will."

"No more protecting me?"

"I didn't say that."

"Trying to protect me is what got you into this condition in the first place!" she growls, but calms when she looks back at her daughter. "Promise me you wont risk yourself to try to save me. When the time comes, I'll fight for myself. You know that I'm strong, and when the bond is open, we're stronger than anything."

"Rey, I can't promise not to put you before me. Always. Without you and Gemma this life is nothing." he says, holding her closer.

"Then protect me by protecting yourself. Because I can't live without you. My heart beats in your chest." she says, lifting his hand up to feel her beating heart. "And we've got to survive to raise our girl. Right?"

"Right." he nods, and she sighs in relief. "Let's get someone in here; Im tired of all of...this." he gestures to the wires and tubes, and she nods.

"I'll be right back." she swings her legs over the edge of the bed, and heads to the door with Gemma still in her arms. "Leia!" she gasps, almost bumping into her as she rushes into the hall.

"Woah, slow down Rey, what's going on?"

"Ben's awake! He's awake!"

"He...he is?" She asks, stepping back a little.

"Yes- awake, alert, and tired of being covered in bacta!" Rey laughs joyfully, giving her daughter a gentle squeeze. Leia calmly states a few orders into her com, and Rey starts to head back into his room.

"One second." Leia grabs her shoulder. "I think we should discuss a few...logistics."

"Oh, um, right now?"

"This is the only time for it I suppose." Leia waves the medics into the room, and pulls Rey over to the bench at the end of the hall. "Now, I know you won't be staying here particularly long, you have a great task to accomplish ahead of you, both of you, but while you're here, I'm assuming you'll want to stay together?"

"Oh, I, erm, i don't- is that, I dont know, proper?" Rey asks, her face turning pink.

"Rey, I know you sleep with my son. Gemma is living proof of that." Leia chuckles, and Rey's face goes even pinker. "I already made arrangements for a compartment for the two of you. It's down the hall from my compartment." , and you can leave the baby with me if you want...alone time." This time Leia's own face turns pink. "I know that whenever Han was away for a long time-"

"Yes, I uh, I get it, thank you for the offer." Rey says quickly. "I should go find some clothes for him."

"Oh, I already took care of it. There are some in the room." Leia says.

"Always so efficient." Rey smiles.

"I know I should talk to him...but I don't know if I'm ready to do that just now- I only meant to stop by before I headed to command...Here." Leia hands her a key card with a number on it. "Your new compartment."

"Are you sure you won't see him?"

"I will. But not right now, when there's not any time. There's too much to discuss, between the two of us, we can't keep saying a few words at a time. That will make things harder." Leia says softly. "And tonight, I think he needs his family."

"You are his family too." Rey insists.

"I'm his blood. You're what he chose, the one who chose him. And Gemma...well, she's a part of you and a part of him. She's his." Leia smiles sadly. "There are years worth of offenses and guilt and anger between the two of us, and were both at fault. Just for tonight, I want him to be able to be a normal father, a normal man with the woman he loves, without having to worry about any of that other stuff. And I think you deserve that too."

"Thank you." Rey says quietly, squeezing her hand. Leia rises from the bench, and leans down to kiss her granddaughter's head.

"Oh- and you might want to ask Eloriah about getting a birth control implant. Not that I don't love Gemma, but I can't imagine you're too eager to have another child right away." Leia suggests over her shoulder as she walks away, her voice changing from motherly to logical general.. "Up to you of course, just something to think about given how easily he knocked you up the first time."

She feels her blush spread from her cheeks to her neck and even her shoulders. Of course, it was probably good that Leia had mentioned it; she hadn't even thought of it. The fact that Gemma existed was proof that she knew very little about these things before she met Ben, and well, every time after the first time she'd already been pregnant, so it hadn't mattered. And in the last several months, Ben had been gone, and sex had been the last thing on her mind. And even now he was injured, still recovering...but it was better safe than sorry. She got up, and headed to Eloriah's station.

"Rey! Is it true? We heard on the com!" Poe calls. Rey flushes. Of course he'd be there.

"Yes, he's awake." Rey smiles.

"Did you come here to tell me? Because I thought that you would be with him?" Eloriah asks curiously.

"No, I was with him, but I was talking to Leia and she um...she made a good point about why I should come talk to you and I wanted to take care of it before I went back in to see him." Rey says shyly, shifting Gemma's weight to her other arm.

"Oh, Yeah, of course, anything, what do you need?" Eloriah asks, standing up and moving away from Poe. "Is it medical? Poe, get out."

"I feel the love." He chuckles. "Here, let me take the kid a minute so you can get your implant."

"Poe!" Eloriah gasps, and elbows him in the ribs.

"What else could she possibly be thinking of?" Poe asks, with a too innocent shrug. "I mean, especially if the General brought it up, General Organa is nothing if not practical."

"Just take the kid." Rey says, gritting her teeth, and Poe obliges.

"Come on little Princess, let's go have some fun of our own!" He laughs, already moving with her in some sort of goofy dance that has her giggling.

"I'd say I was sorry, but you know Poe...So…" Eloriah shrugs, and starts going through a cabinet. "You are here for an implant?"

"Yes." She nods, her face still pink.

"Not a problem." Eloriah says, pulling out a large round needle. "So, this is going to sting a bit, potentially bruise, it's inserted under the skin, on the hip. It'll last six months, then you'll have to get a new one, or you don't have to; you know, depending. It's just if you want to avoid...um, another conception."

"I get it." Rey nods as Eloriah continues to prepare the implant.

"Alright, let's get this done then, so you can get back to your Ben." Eloriah says with a smile, and Rey lowers the waistband of her trousers just enough so that she can get at the skin of her hip. She grits her teeth, sucking a breath through them; it stings horribly, but abates within seconds. "And you're done."

"Thanks." Rey nods, gingerly pressing the small lump beneath her skin. "I guess it's stupid to think that people wouldn't think Ben and I were...intimate." She shakes her head and lets out a quiet laugh.

"Yeah...well, the baby sort of proves it." Eloriah chuckles, and Rey starts to leave. Eloriah catches her arm and pulls her into a quick hug. "I'm really grateful, that you brought me here. And I'm so happy that your Ben is back to you."

"Thank you." Rey returns the hug briefly, squeezing her before releasing. She moves out of the room, and sees that at the same moment Ben is leaving the room down the hall. She's frozen as she stares at him, wearing a simple grey short sleeved shirt and black trousers. These clothes expose his powerful muscles more than anything else she'd ever seen him wear. He's standing tall, and apart from faint bruising, you can hardly tell he'd ever been wounded at all. She wants to run, and launch herself into his arms, but she sees his dark eyes falling on another point of the hall. Exactly between them stands Poe, holding Gemma, who's laughing, and completely oblivious to the tension that has just filled the space. "Ben?" He glances at her, and runs a hand through his hair.

"So, this is the man with the jackets...and the kissing." Ben says awkwardly, and Poe grimances.

"Ben…" Rey cautions as he approaches. She knows exactly what he's seeing; what was so close to having been. The baby, his baby, in the arms of another man, with dark hair and brown eyes, who could have easily passed as the girl's father. Rey takes a step forwards. "This is Poe Dameron. A friend."

"I...we've met." Ben says a bit shamefully. "Sorry about that. I...I'm sorry."

"Oh- yeah, that. Right." Poe nods. "I mean, it's not really okay, but I appreciate the apology. Just...don't do it again I guess?"

"I don't intend to." Ben huffs, and holds out his hands. "May I?"

"Hey, man, she's your kid." Poe says lightly, and passes her over. His thoughts are practically rolling into Rey's mind as he tries to reconcile Kylo Ren, who had tortured him, to the man standing before him wearing a t-shirt and holding a baby as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

"Thanks...for, um, taking care of Rey, when I wasn't...couldn't...Just, thanks." Ben says, and Poe seems taken aback.

"Oh, um, yes. I...I was happy to. We all were. We love her." Poe says, and Ben nods.

"It's impossible not to."

"I love it when you all talk about me like I'm not here." Rey grumbles.

"Sorry, my love." Ben says, closing the small gap between them and reaching for her hand.

"You ready to go?" Rey asks.

"More than ready." He sighs.

"Come on. Let's go home." She smiles, and tugs him along. "Bye Poe. thanks for looking after her."

"No problem. Enjoy your implant." He teases, and Rey shoots him a look that could kill.

"What was that about?" Ben asks as they walk through the mostly empty halls towards their new compartment. "Implant?"

"I um, your mother suggested I...so I got a…" She waits for the wide eyed engineer to pass them by. "A birth control implant."

"Oh." He nods, his face turning a bit pink.

"I just thought, just in case we ended up...Not that I expect anything, I know it's been a while and I'm...well, I'm just me, but I mean, even though I love Gemma, now is not the time for another little Solo to uh, make an appearance." Rey says, keeping her eyes on her toes. He nods, but doesn't respond, his eyes flickering down to Gemma who resting gently in the crook of his arm while she balls her fist into the gray fabric of his shirt, her eyes lids drooping, lulled by the beat of his heart. The rest of the walk is made in somewhat uneasy silence. "Well, here we are. Home." She says softly, opening the door. She can see that Leia has prepared the space for them quite nicely. Gemma's more solid cradle is in the corner, along with her favorite blankets and the few toys she owned. Most of Rey's clothing appears to be in the closet hutch, along with some clothes she knows must be for Ben. There's the door that leads to the fresher, and a double bed. As soon as the door is closed behind them, and the sleeping baby is in her crib, Ben has her pinned against the metal of the closed door, every line of his body pressed to hers.

"What was all that back there about you being "Just you"?" He asks, laying his forehead against hers.

"W-well, it's true. I'm just...Rey. Nothing special."

"Have you forgotten already? How much I adore you?" He asks, trailing his lips from her forehead down to the corner of her mouth. "How magnificent you are? How perfect you are?" His lips connect with hers and she whimpers against him. "You could never be "Just Rey" because Rey is perfection. She is light, she is a goddess...and I intend to worship her every day...every _night_ as long as she will allow me to."

"Oh Ben!" She sighs as his lips move to the hollow of her throat. "Oh Maker, I've missed you, I've needed you...You have no idea how much."

"I think I do." His hands grip at her waist gently, fingers making patterns on her back. "I thought that I was going to die...and all I could think of was that I'd never get to see you again, never get to see Gemma's smile, see her grow up...I knew I didn't deserve any of those things, but I wanted them so badly...I clung to them, they kept me alive." She catches his face in her hands, and kisses him tenderly.

"You _do_ deserve it, Ben. You deserve to be happy." She insists, reveling in the feel of his newly shaved skin beneath her fingers. She presses her lips to his twice more, and wraps her arms around his neck so that she can lean against his chest. She just holds him tightly, and he holds her just as firmly. Gemma lets out a sort of snore, and she pulls away from him just enough to tug him over to the cradle. His arms wraps around her waist, his chin dropping to rest on her shoulder as they watch their daughter's chest rise and fall. "We will never be apart again."

"Never." He agrees, pressing his lips to her shoulder. "You were right. She does look more like you than she did the last time I saw her. And she's more beautiful, which I didn't think was possible...I still can't believe that she's mine. Ours."

"Please, she looks exactly like you...and I love that." She smiles. "I'm so glad that we're all back together again, our little family. I...I've never had this before, really, except when we were together back on the ship. I always knew that I was missing something, not having a family, but I never dreamed it would be something like this- something so warm. So safe. I've always been safe with you."

"Always." He reiterates. "And you always will be."

She doesn't know how long they stay there together, his arms around her, listening to the reassuring sounds of his breathing, watching their daughter's chest rise and fall steadily. She feels him beginning to give into the pull of the bond; his hold on the force grows little by little, opening his mind a fraction, letting her feel the waves of devotion that are rolling between them, the deliciousness of the connection between them. She leans her head against his shoulder, and he kisses her throat tenderly. When Gemma begins to stir, she picks her up, and kisses her forehead. He wraps his arms around hers, tilting his chin to look at the little girl who smiles up at the man who is gazing at her with pure adoration.

"I'll do anything to keep that smile on her face." He whispers, willing his voice to be calm, to keep the gentle atmosphere in tact.

"I believe you." Rey smiles, and grabs her green blanket, laying it on the floor. "It's tummy time."

"What?" He asks, his brow furrowing.

"Tummy time. It's exactly what it sounds like." Rey pulls out of his arms, and lays the blanket on the ground before gently putting their daughter on it. "Come on." She waves him over as she lays down on her stomach, and props herself up on her elbows. He sits on the ground next to her, his long legs awkwardly tucked beneath himself. "Hello little love...Gemma….hello…" She coos, and the baby babbles back, smacking her hands against the blanket, and laughing proudly. "Is that right my love?"

"So...you just...talk to her?" He asks, a bemused smile on his lips.

"Of course; how else will she learn?" Rey asks, as she covers and uncovers her eyes, much to her daughter's delight. He swings around, and joins her on the floor on his stomach, his arms touching hers. She grins and him, and twists her face around to kiss him. "I'm so happy to have you here with me. With us."

"So am I." He half smiles, and turns his face back to the little girl on the green blanket. Gemma stares at him for a moment, and then just sort of pushes herself, and rolls onto her back.

"Oh! Look at you you clever girl!" Rey laughs, her eyes growing wide, and clapping her hands. She pulls herself forwards, and kisses her tiny nose. "Mama is so proud, yes she is!"

"Um, what exactly are you celebrating?" He asks, and though he didn't know, he was grinning too, just at the scene of joy in front of him.

"She rolled over! She's never done that before! Eloriah said this would be coming soon, but I didn't expect it for a few more weeks!" Rey explains giddily. "But I should have known; Gemma is brilliant, and beautiful, and so clever and good!" She kisses her face, and blows a raspberry on her tummy, making her chubby little legs flail as she laughs in delight. "And you were here for it- you got to see a first!" She grins at him, and his eyes are glowing with pride.

"Do you know it's been a little more than a year since we met?" He asks as he watches her playing with their girl.

"Has it? A year…" She shakes her head. "I feel like it's been much longer than that. Like I've known you forever, or at the very least that we were always meant to know each other, but somewhere along the line, everything got scrambled."

"It could be so. You were what, five when I destroyed the Jedi temple? Seven at the oldest, right? You probably would have been brought there as soon as your force abilities were realized, and then we'd have met...normally." He says the word as if it tastes strange. "But I ruined everything, didn't I?"

"If we would have met in the temple, we'd never have been allowed to form the sort of attachment we have now." She shakes her head. "And you never would have noticed me, with all of those other force sensitives around...I wouldn't have been special." He catches her hand in his, hovering an inch away from their daughter's stomach.

"I'd have noticed you. The force always meant for us to find each other. To be together. Even my grandfather said we would be the ones to bring balance." he says. "Of course, things would have been different then. I'd have been a jedi master while you were just reaching the age to be an apprentice. I'd probably have chosen you as my apprentice, actually. Master and apprentice. Much different relationship than what we have now."

"And no Gemma." She frowns.

"No Gemma." His voice gets quiet. "But that's all what could have been if some things had been drastically different. But they weren't. And here we are. All of us." She smiles at him, and then smiles at their daughter, who has begun gently smacking her parent's joined hands.

"It will be like this forever. We just have...one more thing to take care of first." Rey says slowly, and he nods. "And then we'll find our somewhere green, won't we?"

"And you'll have a dozen more of my babies?" He asks, his eyebrow raising, and she colors.

"Oh...I didn't know you heard that."

"It slipped through the bond." He shrugs. "Don't worry, I don't expect a dozen more. Unless you want them. Anything you want, forever."

"Rey! Open up!" The loud knocking on the door makes Rey jump.

"Rose?" She asks, pushing herself up from the floor to go to the door.

"Hey! Alright, give me the baby." Rose says, letting herself in.

"What?" Rey scoffs.

"Don't worry, not just me, Eloriah's great with babies, and we bunk together. We talked about it, and we're taking her tonight." Rose shrugs. "We just thought that you know, with you and him just being reunited, you'd need some time alone, especially since you got that implant-"

"And everyone knows, great." Rey grumbles.

"Because before now there was never any proof, any sign that you'd been sleeping with the General's son- oh wait...there's one now!" Rose's voice gets a bit higher as she stoops down to scoop up the baby. "What do you think Gem? You wanna have a sleepover with Aunt Rose and Eloriah? Yes, I think you do!"

"Rose, that's so sweet, but You don't have to-"

"Rey, we want to do this for you." Rose rolls her eyes. "Besides, we have all the baby stuff from the med unit, so there's nothing for you to worry about. You two take some time together. You deserve it."

"Well...that could be...nice." Rey admits, biting her lip and glancing at Ben. "Rose, this is Ben." She says, and Rose looks over her shoulder at him, acknowledging him for the first time.

"Rey was right. Gemma looks just like you." She observes.

"Oh, I...yes, she does." He gives a little half smile. "Rey talked about you a lot, before. It's good to meet you."

"Yeah. She really loves you. It's why we're all willing to give you a chance." Rose says, never taking her eyes off of him. "Well, that, and because we all love little princess here. And she deserves a good father."

"Rose…" Rey cautions, but Ben raises his hand to stop her.

"You're right. I don't deserve either of them. But I'm trying."

"Good. Say goodnight mama." Rose says, changing the subject and handing the baby over to Rey who kisses her chubby cheek, and brings her over to Ben, who runs his hand over her head and kisses her hair.

"Thank you, Rose. And tell Eloriah I said thanks too." Rey smiles, passing her daughter over.

"Will do. Have a good night guys." She says, heading out of the room while babbling to the baby. Ben gets off of the floor, and comes up to put his arms around her, holding her close to his body, pressing his lips to her temple.

"Is this okay?" Rey asks, placing her hands on his chest.

"I don't mind it." He admits.

"Come with me. I've got somewhere I want to show you." She says suddenly, grabbing his hand.

"Oh- um, okay then." he says, a bit crestfallen.

"Not because I don't want to...I just...come on." She laughs, and pulls him along with her. "Trust me?"

"With my life."


	45. Chapter 45: Green

_**AN: Here's another chapter for my dear readers- this time it's mostly fluff with just a hint of plot...but hey, Rey and Ben have been through a lot, I think they've earned it!**_

She ignores the looks that they get as they walk through the base together. Everyone's thoughts are loud today, too loud to ignore.

 _So that's Kylo- the General's son. He has her eyes."_

 _I can't believe they're letting him walk around freely, after everything he's done!_

 _Damn, why hide that face under a mask?_

 _So the Jedi really did screw that monster. I can't believe we trusted her. She's probably as dark as him- probably just waiting to betray us._

She feels Ben's hand tighten around hers at that. Even with his muted senses, some people are too easy to read. She feels his anger rising, knowing he wants to defend her, feels him contemplating it, reaching for the saber that wasn't there.

" _Ben. Don't."_ She sees him almost jump in surprise as her voice fills his head.

" _I...I know. I shouldn't. But he- how can anyone see anything wrong with you?"_ His voice is faint in her head, but a relief after so long with a closed bond.

" _It doesn't matter what he thinks- what anyone thinks. You're not a monster. You're my Ben. Mine. I know your heart, I know your light. They don't know. Not yet. But they will, someday."_ She insists, and they start moving again. He stays close to her side, and she senses that he feels oddly exposed without his gloves and robes and layers of black clothes. The mask he's gotten used to going without, but all of the other layers...The only people who've seen him without those are medics...medics and Rey. She tries to soothe his fears, transferring thoughts and memories into his head.

 _The first time he'd taken off his tunic in front of her, and she could only think one word. "Beautiful." and then a second, far more ferocious and primal. "Mine."_

 _When she'd kissed along the scars on his arms, seeing them for what they were. The sign of the light that remained in him. Proof that Ben Solo, the man she loved was still there, his heart still beating beneath the mask of Kylo Ren._

 _Watching him train, his body strong and powerful, The training droids no match for him, no matter what setting they were put on. The way his muscles rippled and stretched as he swung his saber, and that same thought came to her mind that she'd had the first time she'd seen him without his shirt on. "Mine."_

" _Always yours. Only yours."_ His whisper like voice fills her head, and chills run down her spine. She clutches tighter at his hand, and moves faster, until they're out of the base. The guards at the door don't question them. Knowing Rey's love of nature and things that were green, and of running, Leia had told them that she was free to come and go as she wished. And she'd often bring a friend with her, a friend or her daughter. She pulls him along until they're in the cover of trees, and then she pushes him against a massive tree trunk, and kisses him. He freezes for a second, and her hands come up to thread in his hair as his arms snake around her waist.

"Come on." She says as she pulls away, tugging on his hand.

"Where exactly are we going?" He asks.

"You'll see. I think you'll like it." She smiles at him over her shoulder as she pulls him along. They keep walking a ways in relative silence. She wants to talk to him, to know everything that happened to him, but she senses that now is not the time. Soon. But not yet. Like Leia had said. Like Rose had said. Tonight they deserved to be a normal couple. Well, as normal as they could be. "Here we are." She smiles when they reach their location, glad to share it with him.

"Beautiful." He says, taking in the landscape of the small clearing quite a ways from the beaten path of the forest. It was a small grassy area, covered in small pink and white flowers, with a small, quiet pond that was glittering in the evening sun.

"This is the place I'd come when I felt...overwhelmed by it all. When I needed to feel you, even though the bond was closed." She walks further into the clearing and kicks off her shoes, feeling the grass under her feet. "I'd bring Gemma with me sometimes, let her kick her feet in the water...she loved that. You'll teach her to swim someday, I know. Like you promised to teach me. But Gemma was the only one I'd bring here. Because this was…"

"Our somewhere green?" He asks, following her. She nods, casting her eyes down. He puts his hand under her chin, and lifts it gently, making him meet her eyes. "Why are you embarrassed?"

"Do you think it's stupid?" She asks.

"No." He says firmly. Cautiously, he opens the bond just a sliver more, letting her feel how touched he is, how he can't form the words to tell her how much he loves her, how honored he is that she needed him, needed to find a place to feel him...here in the grass and the water with their daughter, their beautiful daughter. Her fingers play with the fabric of his shirt as she basks in the feeling of him, of his love, his adoration.

"I know we haven't got stars, and we haven't finished what we'll have to to end this, but maybe we've earned a little part of our dream." She blushes, and goes up on her toes to kiss him, her fingers trailing underneath the fabric of his shirt, feeling skin and muscle and scar.

"Rey…"

"Make love to me in the grass?" She whispers, and she feels his body react to her voice, sending chills of anticipation up and down her back. His mouth is on hers again, his arms pulling her so close, so impossibly close. He breaks away, biting and kissing a trail down her throat to her shoulder, pushing the fabric of her tunic out of the way to get better access.

"You're sure? Here?" He asks, trailing his mouth slowly over every inch of her shoulder.

"Y...yes. It's far enough away, no one will know where we are." She assures him, and wiggles away from his body just long enough to pull the fabric of her tunic up and over her head as he takes her in with hungry eyes. "Off." She demands, grabbing the bottom of his shirt. He lifts his arms to assist her, and she lets it fall into the grass, taking in the sight of him. He looks a thousand percent better than the last time she'd seen him this way, and she could see that his strength had returned. She could just kiss whoever had been in charge of his healing. He growls as that thought drifts across the bond, and she rolls her eyes. "Please, you know that you're...you're the only one. Just you. Forever." She insists, and he pulls her to him again, the bare skin of their chests pressing together, making her gasp in pleasure as his tongue trails along her lip. Energy sparks between them, emotions run through the bond, which he's left just part of the way open.

Slowly, the rest of their clothing is abandoned, and she lays back in the grass, staring at him, inviting him closer. He kneels between her legs, looking at her like she's so beautiful, so precious, and she feels loved, safe, warm. Home. He starts at her ankle, kissing and nipping the skin, trailing his way up to her knee, and higher, his warm breath against her thigh, his mouth caressing her hip bone, the stretch marks from bearing their child, and his hand reaching up, finding her-

"Ben!" She gasps, and she feels his pride through the bond. Pride and waves of desire. And one word enters her mind, in his deep, raspy voice.

" _Perfection."_ She rolls her head to the side, the grass tickling her cheeks as he kisses his way up to her breasts, all the while working with his hand to bring her closer and closer. He swallows her screams into his mouth, shuddering and trembling in his arms. He props himself up, an elbow on either side of her head, looking into her eyes, kissing her lips very softly, tenderly. "I love you." He whispers, and she smiles at him, still unable to speak as she catches her breath. He kisses her cheeks, her nose, her eyelids, relishing in her pleasure as if it were his own.

"I need you. Now." She demands when she regains the ability to speak. She wraps her legs around him, and he groans, his eyes closed as he feels her against him. " _Please._ " She gasps, and he enters her swiftly. She'd almost forgotten how intense it always was when they made love, the way that the bond grew brighter of it's own volition and the pleasure was heightened by it. How they fed on each other's pleasure, lips and fingers feeling, and the friction, delicious friction. How complete she felt when he was inside of her, gazing at her with his intense brown eyes full of passion, desire, love, need, promises. They went over the edge together, and he held onto her tightly, rolling so that she was on top of him, her fingers trailing from his neck to his chest, his long fingers tracing patterns on her back. "I love you. So much."

"I know." He says, a wry smile on his lips. She traces them with her finger and kisses them. "I always will."

"I know. And you know that I am yours. Forever." She whispers, and tucks her face into the crook of his neck. "And you're mine. Mine."

"Yours." He agrees, his chest shuddering. "What would you think of...never mind." She frowns, and props herself up on his chest so she can meet his eyes.

"What? Why are you embarrassed?" She asks.

"I don't want to make you uncomfortable." He explains.

"We agreed to talk, Ben. Always talk." She says softly. He sits up, bringing her up with him. Her legs fall around his waist again, and she wraps her arms around his neck, her fingers playing with the hair at the nape of his neck. "What is it my love?"

"I like it, when you call me that." He smiles, and lets out a sigh. "I'm not great at talking."

"I know. You're better at actions." She says, smiling. "But you don't have to be good at talking, you just have to tell me what's on your mind."

"Will you marry me?" He asks, and she gasps. "I mean- I love you, and you, you love me, and it would just make it...I don't know, more...real? No, that's not right. It's already real. I just...I do want you forever, if you'll have me. I want to be your husband."

"I...you want to marry me?" She asks, her voice small.

"Of course I do." he says, holding her face in his hands. She stares at him with wide eyes for a few moments, and she sees his expression shift from one full of hope, to one that's full of doubt, of fear. "If you don't want to, it's okay. I'm happy to be with you however you'll let me."

"No- no, that's not it. I just...I never even thought of marriage. It's just not really something people did on Jakku, not in the traditional sense. It was too expensive; Plutt charged a fortune for a marriage certificate, and very few people would choose a piece of paper over avoiding starvation. If people loved each other they just lived together, scavenged together, shared portions. Sometimes they had children. But marriage just...was never a priority. A piece of paper didn't change anything."

"No, not technically I suppose." He nods. "I just- There are so many things I gave up for...him. For the voice in my head. I was haunted by the things that I would never have, little things, and big things. I was raised thinking I'd be a jedi, I was supposed to eschew attachments and love, I wasn't supposed to have a wife or a family of my own. But I never fit in there, and then when the darkness came, I knew I'd never bring a woman into that. And it didn't seem important. Nothing seemed important, until there was you. We don't have to get married. We can go on like this, if you want. Just let me be with you, and It's more than I deserve."

"You really do want me forever?" She asks, her eyes prickling with tears.

"Rey...my Rey…" He sighs, kissing her jaw, her cheek, her nose, her lips. "Of course I do."

"Well...I already go by Solo…" She says slowly, tracing his lips again. "I think I'd like to make it official."

"Really?" He asks, his voice full of surprise. "Do you mean it? You'll marry me?"

"Yes!" She laughs, and suddenly she's back on the ground, his body hovering above hers, his lips moving down her neck.

"Say it again, please!" He asks as his lips trail to her shoulder.

"I want to marry you, Ben Solo." She says, catching his face and bringing it back up to hers to kiss him. "And we'll be a real family. You, Me, Gemma."

"We're already a real family." he insists.

"You know what I mean." She rolls her eyes, but then smiles at him again, broadly. "I love you so much. You have no idea how much I love you."

"If it's even half as much as I love you-"

"It's more than that." She insists. "You and Gemma are my world."

"I can't believe I get to keep you." He whispers adoringly. His lips claim hers again, reverently. "Thank you...thank you…" He kisses down her neck again, and this time he shows her through the bond exactly what he intends to do to her.

"Ben, you don't have to do that, I've already...you know...twice, I- Oh, maker!" She gasps as his lips find their mark.

" _Let's go for three...Or four…"_ She can hear the smirk in his voice even as his face buried between her legs. Pleased to be pleasing her, proud that he can please her, desire for her growing every second.

"Well...if that's what you...want!" She manages between gasps.

" _It is….forever."_

"Oh Ben…"

They don't return to the base until the sun has started to rise again.


	46. Chapter 46: His

"Thank you so much for taking her last night." Rey says as she takes Gemma in her arms and kisses her chubby little cheeks.

"It was no problem. We sort of like the kid." Eloriah says with a smile. "She slept almost the whole night anyways."

"That's my sweet girl!" Rey says, bouncing slightly from side to side like her daughter likes. "Being so so good for her aunties, oh Mama is so proud!"

"Where's her dad?" Rose asks.

"He's with the General." Rey explains. She'd wanted to go with him, but he'd insisted he had to do this alone. When they'd woken up, he'd told her to go back to sleep, and she'd been so tired, she'd agreed. He'd left the bond open just a sliver, she caught the odd emotion, but none of his thoughts, or surroundings, but after the weeks of silence, it was everything, and she'd demanded that, even if with his weakened force signature, they never close it again. "He wanted privacy for the conversation he has to have with her, and I can't blame him for that."

"Did you have a good time last night?" Rose asks, and Rey blushes. "I'll take that as a yes. I mean, I did hear that you guys were gone like, all night. Like, geeze, does the force give you like, super stamina or something?"

"When they were on the Finalizer, General Hux had his quarters moved because they were so loud. Said his sleep was being disturbed." Eloriah shrugs, and Rey's jaw falls slack.

"He did not!" She gapes.

"He did." Eloriah laughs, and so does Rose. "It's nothing to be embarrassed about really. You're just...in love."

"Yes." Rey says quietly, casting her eyes down. "Very much."

"What aren't you telling us?" Rose asks, standing up. "You've got a secret- it's just like the face you made when you wouldn't tell where Luke was, or that Kylo Ren was the father of your baby. What is it?"

"He asked me to marry him." Rey admits, and Rose throws her arms around her and the baby while Eloriah claps her hands in delight.

"That's really...congratulations." Rose says, giving her a squeeze and stepping back. "I mean, you did say yes didn't you?"

"I did." Rey nods, and Gemma cooes excitedly.

"Did you hear that little Princess? Your mama and papa are going to get married! They are!" Eloriah says, poking her tummy. "Congratulations, Rey. That's so wonderful!"

"Thank you, thank you!" Rey laughs as her daughter starts grabbing at her fingers. "And thank you again, for keeping her last night."

"It was no problem." Eloriah says at the same time that Rose says;

"Please, you obviously needed to get laid."

"Right." Rey rolls her eyes and smiles at them. "I'll see you both at lunch?"

"You know it." Rose says. "You bringing your fiance, I guess?"

"I hope so. Unless he's not done with the General." Rey says.

"Good. If he's marrying you, we should get to know him. Welcome him into our little family." Rose shrugs. Rey feels a surge of affection for her, and she smiles at her. "We'll save you both a seat."

"Thank you. I know that you don't know him like I do, and you have every reason not to trust him, but I promise you, he isn't what you think."

"You love him." Rose shrugs. "He has to be alright. Plus, Little Princess is half him, and nothing that perfect could have come out of something evil, so you have to assume he can't be all bad."

"I'd better go get Gem fed and dressed for the day." Rey says, heading to the door. "Thanks again!"

"Anytime!" Eloriah calls as the door shuts behind her, and she walks back to her compartment- their compartment. Home. She smiles as she takes in the small space; the room is smaller than his quarters on the Finalizer, but it's cozier, warmer. The bed is smaller, but they certainly hadn't minded sleeping so close. Growing up on Jakku, living in her At-At, she could never have imagined that places and feelings like this existed. She had done her best to make that space her home, but it had always been empty, cold despite the heat, and covered in those endless tick-marks. And lonely. So very lonely.

But here, the pillows on the bed smelled like the man that she loved, and the cradle in corner would hold their beautiful daughter. The closet held their clothing, hanging side by side, their clothes from yesterday, covered in grass stains laying by the door, ready to be washed. They'd barely been there, and yet there were pieces of them everywhere. It was comfortable, beautiful, it was home...Home in a way that no other place had ever been before. She kicks off her shoes, and climbs onto the bed, tugging down her tunic to feed her daughter, who stares up at her face with her curious brown eyes.

"I'm sorry that mama and papa weren't with you last night, you see, we hadn't seen each other in quite some time, and I'm sure you were only sleeping...Don't worry, we'll make it up to you today...oh I just won't put you down...except for tummy time, but I don't think you'll mind that. You've always liked that, haven't you?" Rey asks, snuggling back into the pillows that smelled like him, relaxing as the baby suckled, and curled up her tiny fist against her breast. "And we both love you. We love you so much. We're going to make sure that you have a wonderful life. That you're never alone...you're going to grow up with so much family and love around you...and I'll make sure you always have food. Fruits and veg, too, not just portions. I'm going to keep you safe. I promise." She hums a quiet tune that Leia had taught her, since she'd never known any lullabies before, and she thinks of the future.

Of course immediately, it was filled with danger. They had a dangerous task ahead, and soon, a task that would bring peace to the galaxy, or kill them both. But they would get through it. They _had_ to get through it. And then they'd settle somewhere green. Ben had told her he had a place in mind, and she'd been thrilled, even though he wouldn't tell her where it was; the fact that he wanted to surprise her was sweet, and infuriating. Her Ben...Hers…

" _Yours…"_ His voice comes through the bond, and her smile grows.

" _You're supposed to be focusing, talking to your mother…"_

" _We were talking...for three hours. Now we're doing some debriefing with the other generals and commanders. I'm giving them all of the information I have on the first order. I'm sure that they've scrambled to change what they could, but there's no way they could have changed it all."_

" _I'm sure you're doing a world of good."_ She adjusts the baby, lays a cloth on her shoulder, and begins to gently rub her back. " _You should be listening to the Generals, not picking through my head."_

" _You were thinking about me."_ He protests. " _It's distracting. The way your thoughts change when you think of me...and everything grows so warm, it's humming. It's light."_

" _It's love."_ she scoffs.

" _I'll never understand why."_

" _Because you're my Ben. Our Ben."_

" _I'm trying to be."_

" _You are."_ Satisfied with her daughter's care, she stands up and begins to pace around the room, gently bouncing, and twirling while humming softly. Her daughter giggles, and babbles in delight. She feels him open the bond a little more, feeling the warmth that comes from their child. She feels his lips curl into a smile as he sees them in his minds eye, heart thumping unevenly.

" _Beautiful. My girls."_ He says, and she sighs.

" _When will you come back to us? We miss you."_

" _As soon as I can. We're still pouring over all of the logistics and locations and strategies. It might be a while."_

" _And how was your talk...with your mother?"_ Silence. " _Ben?"_

" _It was...fine."_ She senses his unease, and frowned. " _She's...much too willing to forgive me."_

" _She is your mother. I've found that motherhood does...change the center of ones world."_ Rey smiles and stares at Gemma's happy face as they twirl around the room.

" _I killed my father. The man that she loved."_

" _You were tortured for years. Your mind was poisoned. You were confused. I will not say you are free from blame, but Ben, in that moment, as in so many others, you were not yourself. Your mind was not your own. The few time Snoke was in my head...the anguish I felt...You felt for years, Ben. Years. The fact that you held on to any light at all for all of that time is amazing. Incredible, My love."_ He's quiet for a moment, and then he lets out a long sigh.

" _The light was always holding on for you. Waiting."_ He says, and this time she sighs.

" _I'm afraid that you hold me in such high regard that I will disappoint you."_

" _My love, you could never."_ He insists fervently, and it makes her chest feel warm.

" _You really should focus on your meeting. So you can leave sooner."_ She insists.

" _You're right."_ He groans. " _You're all I can think of."_

" _You're flattering me."_

" _There are other things I'd like to do to you."_ He suggests, suddenly flooding her mind with images of his hands on her skin, his lips brushing her own, holding her close, so close-

" _Ben! You're with your mother! I'm holding our daughter!"_ She scolds, her cheeks flaming, and her lips curling into a smile.

" _Did you really agree to marry me last night?"_ He asks, his voice becoming small again.

" _Of course I did. I love you. I'll marry you today, tomorrow, or any day after."_ She says, pushing her love for him through the bond. " _My handsome fiance...Mine."_

" _Yours. Forever…"_

" _And I'm yours. Always."_ She feels his pleasure rolling through the bond, and so many beautiful memories. Her delighted laughter. The way her hands felt when they stroked across his bare chest. Her holding their daughter against her bare chest while feeding her. The way her brows knitted together when she was angry. " _Focus on your meeting, Ben. Gemma and I will be waiting for you when you're done. We'll be going to the mess hall for lunch, and then we'll be in our room. No training today. Just our family."_

" _I can't wait."_ He's actually a bit giddy.

" _Do I have to Shut you out to make you focus?"_

" _No! I'll...I'll focus."_ He sighs, and she does feel the bond go a bit muted. She frowns, knowing he's cutting off the force again. She knows he feels uneasy, leaving it open, the stronger his force signature, the easier it would be for his former master to find him. Anger flashes through her, leaving strong determination in it's wake.

Soon.

They'd end this soon.


	47. Chapter 47: Training

_**AN: Hello my dears- A new chapter for all of you! I hope you enjoy it! Sorry I only posted one yesterday- I know that's unusual for me, but it was a pretty long chapter, so I hope that made up for it! This chapter we finally get to find out what happened to Ben during his seperation from his girls!**_

Their sabers collide mightily, the energy from both of them humming as his crackled. She spins around, ducking, escaping, manuvering around the back of him, ready to attack again. Physically, he could easily overpower her, he was much stronger, but she was lighter, quicker, she could out maneuver him at least...fifty percent of the time.

They'd done this every day for two weeks. Training, getting back into peak physical condition. But they'd yet to really breach the mental barriers, and work to hone the power that they could muster together when the bond was opened. And she knew that he was afraid; that the months they'd been apart this time had taken a terrible toll on his mentality, that he'd done things he was ashamed of, that made him hate himself. She tried to balance it out by pouring love into him, which worked sometimes. Other times it seemed that their daughter was the only one who could make him smile. She never failed in that regard. She was so good, and light.

"You're not focusing." He growls as he disarms her. She pushes him back with the force, and he stumbles before he rights himself, now wielding both sabers. She dances gracefully around him, ducking under his legs at once point, taking great force leaps. She's tiring though, and she knows that he will be able to keep going. His stamina never ceases to amaze her. Her cheeks flame at the thought, and an idea strikes her. A way to win this sparring match at least. She'll only have one chance, if she misses, he'll be able to overtake her with great ease. She moves quickly, spinning behind him, and leaping onto his back, wrapping her limbs around him, and kissing his neck as her chest heaves, pressing her breasts against his back. She feels his confusion, and she tilts her chin up to gently flick her tongue across his ear, eliciting a low moan from his chest. "Truce?" he proposes, and she responds by tugging his earlobe with her teeth, and he powers down both sabers and swings her around to access her mouth. She rakes her nails along his scalp, and feels him hum in response. So quickly that she's not sure how she does it, she has him in his back, his eyes wide as her saber hovers above his throat.

"What? You called for a truce; I didn't agree to one!" she says with a wry smile.

"That...was a dirty trick." he says, but his amusement tells her that he doesnt really mind.

"Surrender?" she asks, and his brow furrows.

"You know that this is supposed to be training, right? This isn't exactly a move you can use on Snoke." he says when she rolls her hips over his.

"Who says I can't?" she smirks, running her free hand down his chest. "It works well enough to distract you...who knows how long its been since that _thing_ felt the touch of a woman. It might just give us an edge." He growls, his hand rising to grip her hip possessively. As it begins to trail upwards she freezes his hands with the force, leaving it on her waist.

"Mine." he hisses through his teeth.

"Surrender." she insists.

"Fine."

"Say it."

"I surrender." he sighs, and she powers down the saber and bends forward, finally pressing her lips to his. She pulls away to kiss along his face, and down his jaw and his throat, relishing in the feel of his pulse point dancing beneath her lips. She feels the waves of his jealousy at the very thought of her touching anyone else- especially not _him-_

"Oh Ben Organa Solo, you have to know, you're the only one I touch like this...the only one allowed to touch me…" she grabs his hands, breaking the force hold on his limbs, and places them on her chest, feeling him shudder. "Is _you."_ he sits up, his lips connecting forcefully with hers.

"Our room. _Now."_ he insists, standing and bringing her up with him. He pulls both sabers to his hands, and puts hers in her hand before securing his own to his belt. She frowns at the loss of contact. "I'd take you right here, right now, believe me, but we can't exactly secure the door...and I don't want anyone to see what Im about to do to you." she takes his hand, and tugs him along quickly, stopping before they made it to the door to kiss him one more time. She glances down and smirks.

"It's a good thing you've got your robes on." he grips her hand tighter, and pulls her down the hall. No one questions why they're almost running down the hall laughing, but for the most part, people avoid them in general. Rey never minds that though; the people she loved were making an effort to love Ben, and he was making an effort to be worthy of it all. They've nearly made it back to their room when they nearly run smack dab into his mother.

"Rey- Ben!" She gasps. She's holding Gemma, who laughs and reaches for her father, who takes her. Leia grins, seeing her son with his own child. "I didn't expect you back so soon; I was just about to take Gemma with me to show off to a few of the other admirals. Would you mind if I kept her a little while longer?"

"No- I mean, sure- no, it's no problem." Rey stammers, blushing. Ben kisses their daughter, and passes her back to his mother a little reluctantly.

"Thank you!" Leia smiles a bit too knowingly.

"No, thank you!" Ben says mischievously as he winks at Rey. Her jaw falls slack, and Leia just rolls her eyes and walks down the hall.

"And that, Gemma, Is why I told your mama to get that implant." She says, just loud enough for Rey to hear, and now she's positive her whole torso is probably flaming. He almost drags her back into their room, and she gently smacks his chest.

"What?" He asks, holding back a laugh.

"You know what!" She scoffs.

"So you don't want me to-" He reaches for the hem of her shirt, and she beats him to it, pulling it off in one fluid motion.

"Oh, no, I do." She admits, flushing as his eyes grow black with desire. "What are you waiting for?"

"Just admiring." He says, a fond smile growing on his lips.

"Ben…" She starts crossing her arms over her chest, and he steps forward quickly to kiss her firmly on the lips. Her hands change course, and grab fistfuls of his dark blue shirt.

"You never have to hide from me. You are perfection." He whispers when she pulls away, desperate for air. "You are beautiful. The mother of my child...the woman I love..." He starts kissing his way down her torso to the waistband of her pants, and he looks up at her with a question in his dark eyes. She smiles, and his long fingers fumble with the ties that hold them up. She finishes three times before he even undresses. When she finally nearly rips his clothes off, neither of them last long, it's so intense.

"Do you see what you do to me?" She's still gasping for air as he pulls her to his warm, muscled body. "Maker, I hope I can walk after this."

"I hope you can't. Actually, if you can, I feel like I haven't done my bit properly. I'll just have to keep pleasuring you until you're stuck in bed for the rest of the day." He smirks, and she laughs shakily into the skin of his chest. "I love you."

"I love you." She sighs. As she settles against him, she feels him withdraw from the bond, trying to close it up again. "No- I hate it. I hate it when you close it."

"I know." He's frowning. She can tell without looking at him.

"Ben, we need to open it all the way. Imagine how powerful we could be if we combine our power!"

"I know."

"Then why won't you just open it? Connect to the force again." She encourages him, but she feels his hesitation. "What happened, while you were away from me and Gemma?"

"Rey…"

"No secrets, Ben. I feel you fearing my reaction...Ben, you know that I could never leave you, even if I wanted to. I'm bound to you- I love you! We're going to get married, I had your child, for force sake! You can tell me anything. Please. Let me share your pain." She props herself up, and runs her fingers through his hair.

"When you left, it was chaos. I had to go to the surface to try to find you; I killed the troops they sent with me, and blamed it on Skywalker. I didn't know what else to do. They would have questioned why I wasn't finding you, or our child. I couldn't...I didn't think. The darkness swelled in me- you'd barely been gone, and I couldn't control it." He admits, running his fingers over newer scars on his arm near his elbow. "When I returned, Snoke was furious. I know that he sensed something about us, our connection. He accused me of having compassion for you, for the child. I couldn't lie well enough to convince him otherwise. He made it my mission to find you. To find the girl. He wanted me to bring both of you back. He had a vision; a new group of Knights all of a powerful bloodline, our children. He wanted to keep you alive so that I could...Breed you, against your will if I had to. I wanted to kill him. I wanted to kill him so badly, but he departed and no one knew his whereabouts. None of the generals. I checked each of their minds. Nothing. I had to wait it out. He'd call me to him eventually." His anger and shame is rising every second, and she sits up, leaning against the headboard, and pulling his head into her lap, gently caressing his hair.

"What else, my love?" She whispers, knowing how much he loves to be called that.

"We have spies everywhere. They. They have spies everywhere. Every time there was someone who fit your description, I had to go to observe. Most of the time, I'd do it from a distance, and say it wasn't you, destroy something, and leave. But then there was a report on Utapau...there was a small group of rebels on Utapau, and when we arrived, they thought we had come to...to attack them. We hadn't even known. But they attacked us. I had to...I had to kill them. There were too many people watching. Snoke was in my head. I had to kill them. ANd thn I saw the girl; the one the spy had thought was you. She looked a lot like you, really. More so than any of the others had. But she had gray eyes, and her hair was too dark, her nose wasn't right. But she was still so like you. I didn't want to hurt her, I was going to leave, pretend I hadn't seen her, but she shot at me- She was lousy at it. I caught the blast with no trouble. I was going to send it away when I felt Snoke in my head again, stronger than ever. I let go and she…" She brushes her hand over his cheek, catching his tears in her palm.

"Oh my love…" Rey tries to soothe him, using they voice she used for Gemma when she cried.

"He'd sensed my feelings for you. I'd done everything I could to hide them, but it was too strong. He...He tried to have me reconditioned." Rey's body went stiff. Finn had told her what that word meant. "They tried to erase you from my mind. Erase Gemma from my mind. They couldn't. You were too entwined with my mind. And then there was the bond. Somehow, they couldn't reach it at all. I'd closed it tight, tucked it away. When that didn't work, they changed tactics. They made you into my apprentice, that you'd been in love with me while I'd loved another woman, and had a child with her. And….I knew the woman they tried to convince me was my lover."

"...Because she'd been your lover before." Rey says stiffly, her mind filling with images of the beautiful blonde woman who Snoke had shown her. She knows somehow, that this was the woman he spoke of.

"Yes." He admits shamefully, closing his eyes tightly. "She was the only woman other than you I ever slept with more than once. She had...skills. A darkness about her. She was less...afraid, than the others."

"Did you…"

"Love her? No. My heart has been yours long before I actually met you." He says quietly.

"Tell me the rest." She demands.

"There was...torture. Eventually, there seemed to be some truth to their story, that you had stolen my child in a jealous rage, threatening to kill it. But then they brought the woman to me; she kissed me, tried to seduce me, but it was wrong. It was so wrong. I knew that everything was a lie. I was so angry, I managed to break away from the troopers and guards that held me. That's when Snoke broke into my head, the time that it was so strong It broke the wall I'd put up around our connection. When he found you, I felt like I was dying. All I wanted was for you to be safe. I failed you-"

"You did not-"

"I did. I should have been stronger!"

"I saw the wounds Ben- you couldn't have helped it. The fact that you stayed alive at all...Oh Ben…"

"I got to a ship while he was reeling from your attack. I flew to the nearest inhabited planet, ditched the ship, and bought a new one. But I knew it had been too easy. Two of the knights of Ren found me there. We fought. I won." He says, his voice cold. Neither of them speak for a moment, and when he does, his voice is much softer. "And I came home to you. At last."

"My love…" She says, dragging herself down his body to kiss him tenderly on the lips. "Love of my life…"

"I don't deserve that." He sighs, catching her waist in his large hands.

"Yes. You do." She brushes his hair out of his eyes, and rests her hands on his cheeks. "You deserve me. You deserve our daughter. The things you're ashamed of, they're all behind you. Us, our family, that's what's ahead of us. Us. Together. Never alone again."

"Never. I promise." He says, tilting his head to the side to press a kiss to her palm.

"Open the bond." She insists, and he shakes his head.

"If I connect to the force...he's going to find me. Find us."

"Then let him come. I'm not afraid, Ben!"

"Rey. It's dangerous."

"Open the bond. Let it roll between us. Let us find our power. I can get him out of your head; if he can't get in...then you can defeat him. You are strong enough." She insists, tilting her face down to kiss him. As their lips connect, she feels the barrier come down, and it's almost painful for a moment as her mind adjusts, but then it's warm, comfortable, safe, home, _Ben._ She whimpers into his mouth, and he growls possessively.

This time it's slow, lingering touches, open mouthed kisses pressed to slick skin, an agonizingly slow rhythm, as their minds flowed together, heartbeats synchronizing, pleasure growing between them, flowing, sharing, intensifying into the most intense climax she had ever known.

"Maker! Never close the bond again!" She laughs after he's collapsed on top of her, his weight delicious and comfortable. He kisses her eyelids, and rolls to the side, keeping his hand on her skin. She lifts her hand to his chest, trailing it over the muscular planes. She glances around the room, and stifles a giggle.

"What's so funny?" He asks, looking around.

"Look what we did!" She laughs, looking at the sparse furniture that's been knocked about by the intensity of the force that had been flowing out of them. He laughs too, and she basks in the beautiful, low rumbling sound. "I love you."

"I love you." He says, pressing her hand tighter to his heart. "It's about time for Gemma to eat, isn't it?"

"Mm. It is. I should go get her." Rey sighs, reluctantly pulling away from him.

"I'll get her." He leans in and kisses her lips once before he rises and goes to pull on his clothing.

"I know that things are still hard with your mother, I would go with you-"

"I thought you couldn't walk." He teases coming back to the bed with his dark trousers slung low on his hips. He climbs on top of her, and pins her hands above her head. "Or have I not done my bit?" He asks mischievously.

"Ben…" She sighs, her back arching against him. "I have to feed our daughter. Or things will get painful, soon." she explains, pulling her hands free and gesturing to her breasts that feel full to bursting. "And she'll get fussy."

"Well we don't want that." he climbs back off of her and finishes dressing quickly. "Besides. I sort of miss the kid. I kind of like her." He says, winking at her.

"I'm so glad that my months of discomfort and hours of labour resulted in such strong feelings from you." She teases, stifling a chuckle.

"You know how much I love her." He says seriously, pausing at the door.

"Yes, I do." Rey nods.

"You know how much I love you?" He asks, and she grins.

"I think I have a pretty good idea."

"Good." He smiles at her. "I'll be right back."

"I'll be waiting."


	48. Chapter 48 A Good Day

Now, breathe in, breathe in her light….breathe in his…" Luke instructs as they sit cross legged and facing each other. Their hands are clasped together, Ben's large ones completely engulfing hers. Instantly, power begins to surge from the bond, a pale purple dancing behind her eyelids. "Incredible…" Luke breathes as he senses the power running between them. "Alright. For today we're keeping it simple. I want you to use your connection to try to locate me, Leia, and Gemma who's with Finn. I've cloaked our force signatures. Give me a five minute head start." She feels him leaving the room.

"Do you think we can do this?" Rey asks quietly.

"I think we could do it individually. Together, we'll do it in no time." He says confidently, lifting her hand to his lips to kiss it.

"And you're familiar enough with Snoke's signature to locate him, cloaked?"

"I think so." He nods, and she feels his discomfort at the memory of his master in his head. She opens her eyes, and puts her hand on his cheek.

"I'll keep him away. I've done it before." She promises, and he bends forward to kiss her. The bond hums in content, the power surging into a brighter violet color. "No one gets to touch your mind ever again...well, except for me." He smiles, and presses his forehead against hers. "I love you."

"I love you. Shall we?" He asks rising from the floor and offering her a hand.

"Where do we start?" She asks, but answers her own question. "Probably Gemma. We're most familiar with her signature to begin with." He nods, and links their fingers together. They breathe together, combining their power as one, sending out tendrils of the force all over the base, visualizing every turn. They don't need to speak, they start moving in unison, towards the same point on the far end of the base, where the repair shop is. Their daughter is a muted presence, but they can feel her signature growing stronger. Using the force, they lift a broken down x-wing, and move it to the side, seeing a grinning Finn hiding in an opening in the wall with Gemma on his lap, smacking her hands against his cheeks.

"Well Little Princess, I guess we just officially lost your first game of hide and seek." Finn laughs, climbing out and handing the baby to her mother.

"Hello my love! Did you have fun with Uncle Finn?" She asks, prodding her belly gently as she babbles incoherently. "She's such a talker! Just wait until she really learns to speak, she'll never shut up!" Ben sweeps his daughter into his arms, and she squeals in delight, and babbles even more. "Of course she's a daddy's girl. Look at her- she's got him wrapped around her fingers!"

"She's got half of the rebellion wrapped around her fingers!" Finn rolls his eyes. "So, it didn't take too long for you guys to find us."

"No...but it's difficult to cloak her signature from the two of us. I mean, she was literally a part of me for nine months, and she has a bond with both of us." Rey shrugs as she blows a raspberry against her daughter's bare calf, making her giggle and kick her legs wildly. "Leia will be easier to find than Luke, since she and Ben have a bond, but she'll have a better ability to cloak than Gemma. Alright. You'd better take her again Finn, We've got to get a move on."

"Right. Come here little princess!" Finn says, and Ben hands her over reluctantly. "Auntie Rose should be finished with her duties just about now. We can meet her for lunch." Rey kisses her daughter's cheek, and then Finn's before they go away, Gemma still babbling loudly.

"Alright. One down." Rey says, and Ben nods as he watches the man walk away with his daughter with a slight tinge of jealousy. "You know she loves you more than she loves any of the rest of us- which really isn't fair. I'm the one who literally carried her for nine months and pushed her out of my body." She insists, and he nods, and wraps his hand around hers again. At first, there is nothing outside of the ordinary hum of life...and then a flicker, so faint it could have been nothing it all, but they started moving towards it anyways. They find Leia in her office, working.

"Really creative hiding place, Mom." Ben says as she comes up to embrace her son.

"What? I had worked to do. I figured this would be the last place you'd expect to find me." She shrugs, and hugs Rey. "But you found me. Did you already find Gemma?"

"We did." Ben smiles.

"How was my cloaking?"

"Not bad." Ben shrugs. "Not as good as Uncles."

"Hey, he's been practicing a lot longer than I have!" Leia gently smacks his shoulder. "It's going well, though? You're connection?"

"It's stronger than I ever suspected." Rey says. "With a bit of practice...I think we'll be ready."

"Excellent." Leia smiles. "Well, off with you then. Does Finn still have Gemma?"

"Yeah, he was taking her to meet up with Rose." Rey nods.

"I might just go see her...when I'm finished with all of the paperwork." Leia sighs, taking her seat at the desk. "I'll see you both for dinner?"

"Yes, Mom." He says, smiling at her slightly. They leave the office, and walk out of the hall to find a quiet corner. Still holding hands, they let the bond flow out from them, but there seems to be almost nothing aside from the usual hum. Her frustration rises as she tries to find him, and comes up blank. "Hey, hey, calm down love, focus on me, on us. Breathe into me." He whispers, pulling her closer, and she nods.

"Together." She reminds herself, and does as he had said. They start going together, pulling to the outside; a flicker, constantly moving, far too quickly for any average lifeform. They take off sprinting together, bewildering the guards at the doors.

" _He's on the far side of the forest."_ He observes as they run. " _He'll sense us coming."_

" _So we split up when we get close. You give me a boost, and I'll land on the far side."_ She says, and he nods, his hand falling to his saber as if to check that it was still there. When they're close enough that his force signature is unmistakable, he falls to one knee, and boosts her with his hands, watching in awe as she breathes through the force, and leaps through the trees several meters away. That's when Luke comes into view between them. He powers up his saber, and they approach quickly, Rey's saber colliding with his as Ben uses the force to throw Luke off balance. But Luke sees it coming, and pushes back, sending Rey flying into a tree. She feels Ben's anger rising, and the bond starts to go red. " _Ben. No. Please, keep your head. Please, I'm okay."_

" _You're sure?"_ He asks, still parrying Luke's blows. She leaps, and hits against Luke's saber from the other side, giving Ben the chance to straighten his stance.

" _Does that answer your question?"_ She asks, rolling to avoid Luke's blow. It takes nearly half an hour of dueling, but eventually, they do manage to disarm him, Rey's saber at his throat while Ben holds his arms in place with the use of the force.

"Well done." The Jedi master grins, and Ben releases his hold on him before they all power down their sabers.

"I almost lost control." Ben admits, running his hands through his hair, and Rey crosses to him, and wraps her arms around his waist.

"But you didn't." She says proudly. "You listened."

"She's right. Your temper has improved drastically." Luke nods. "And You found Gemma and Leia without trouble."

"Quite easily. You were a little more tricky." Rey smiles.

"I have a lot of practice not being found." he says teasingly, and she gives him a quick hug. "You have come such a long way with your skills. I'm proud."

"Thank you." She says shyly, casting her eyes down.

"And Ben...Nephew…" Luke says, and Rey can sense the tension between them. "You have improved. Your control has grown. Your abilities are...incredible."

"Thank you, Uncle." He says, nodding.

"What next?" Rey asks, taking Ben's hand.

"Now you relax." Luke says.

"Master Luke-"

"Right, how could I forget who I was talking to?" He chuckles. "Well, I know you practiced saber forms this morning, you used the bond all afternoon, and the sparring match with me was lengthy. I'd say you've earned a break, but if you aren't ready to finish, you could meditate together, strengthen the bond further, though that seems a bit superfluous today. I'm going back to the base. I promised R2 I'd give him a good oil bath and rub down. I'll see you both for dinner." Luke says with a shrug as he passes them by.

"So, what do we do now?" Rey asks, crossing her arms, and Ben smiles at her. "What?"

"We have the afternoon off; no training, no baby. Just us." He smirks. "Though, We could go get the baby too, I wouldn't mind that. Though, it has been almost four days since I've actually had you alone…" He kisses her, and she leans into him, standing on her toes to reach him better.

"Well...I suppose one afternoon off wouldn't be so bad...We have been working hard." She relents. "What did you have in mind?"

"Anything you want." He admits, kissing her forehead. "As long as I'm with you." She smiles, and grabs his hand. "Where are we going?"

"Well my love, I thought we'd get a head start on my swimming lessons. That pond is pretty deep."

"Not a bad idea." He nods, following her eagerly. It doesn't take more than ten minutes to reach the pond in the little clearing. As soon as she's reached the grass she kicks off her shoes, and starts peeling off her clothes. She senses his eyes on her skin, and smiles.

"What? I don't want my clothes to be ruined...and now, it looks like you're quite overdressed." He shrugs off his shirt at once. They finish undressing quickly, and he scoops her into his arms and strides towards the pond. The water is cool, but not unbearably so. Carefully, he shows her how to float, which she masters with ease. By the end of an hour, she has started to propel herself around a bit, but she's nowhere near as good as Ben, who looks like he was raised in the water. She floats lazily on her back, and gasps when he catches her in his arms.

"You're incredible, you know." He kisses the nape of her neck.

"You're not so bad yourself." She sighs, relaxing into his hold. "Eloriah told me that soon, we'll have to start teaching Gemma to stand. Holding her like she's standing, letting her bounce, to develop her leg muscles right. She's growing so quickly."

"She's still small."

"Yes. But she's already started to crawl, soon she'll be walking, and eating solid food, and probably causing all sorts of trouble with her force abilities! And it seems like just yesterday, she was inside of me...the tiny little life force that I loved so much." Rey explains sadly. "I wish she would stay small. Just for a while longer...but I also can't wait to see the person she becomes, because I know that she'll be wonderful."

"With you as her mother, she couldn't be anything less." He agrees, and his voice has taken on that gentle quality that only emerges when he speaks about her or their daughter.

"She'll be a good older sister, one day." Rey says, and she feels his surprise.

"Really? You-you want to have more children...with me?"

"No, I'm going to go to Poe and Finn. Of course I want more children with you! I've said as much before." She scoffs. "Well, one more at least. A boy. One of each."

"You know I have literally no control over what gender any child you conceive will be, right?" He asks, a bit bemused though she can feel the creeping fingers of unworthiness still in his mind. She pulls out of his hold, and heads to shallower water to stand before opening her arms to him, and holding him flush against her body.

"Stop thinking you don't deserve what we have. Stop thinking you don't deserve Gemma. Just stop it. I know you, Ben Solo. I know that you deserve us. Us and more."

"If all I ever have is you and Gemma, it would be more than I ever dreamed."

"I know. I never thought I'd have what we have. I never even hoped for it. But here I am, engaged to the man that I love, with the most beautiful daughter in the galaxy, surrounded by people that I love, who love me!" Now she's the one feeling disbelief.

"We're quite the pair, aren't we? Neither one of us ever feeling worthy." He sighs, and kisses her hair. "I'll never stop trying to convince you that you are."

"Likewise." She smiles. "You know...I know I've got the implant, but if we want to have more children one day, there's no reason we couldn't practice." She feels his heart thump unevenly beneath her cheek.

"Sounds practical." He leans back to look at her face. "Practice makes perfect." She leaps up into his arms, and kisses him thoroughly.


	49. Chapter 49: Officially

_**AN: So...here's something really special...can you guess what it is?**_

"Come on! Let's plan something!" Rose almost begs. Rey rolls her eyes and adjusts Gemma under the blanket as she feeds. In the distance Ben is sparring with Luke, and she'd been quite enjoying watching before Rose had come over. "It's been such a long time since we had anything to celebrate!"

"We'll celebrate when this is all over." Rey insists.

"But if anything were to happen to one of you, wouldn't you want to have made it official?" Rose asks, and Rey tenses.

"Nothing's going to happen." she says, gritting her teeth.

"No, of course not." Rose says, biting her fingernails. "It's just...that's what Paige told me before she went out on her last bombing run."

"Oh...Rose, Im sorry." Rey takes her hand. "And you're right. We should make it official; but we weren't really going to plan anything big. I mean, I've never even been to a wedding, and Ben and I don't love attention…"

"It doesnt have to be big- just something pretty." Rose smiles, and squeezes her hand. "So you have pictures to show the kid someday."

"That would be nice." Rey admits.

"We could do it tonight!"

"Tonight?"

"Tonight!" Rose claps her hands together. "Small, just the Skywalkers, Chewy, Poe, Eloriah, Finn, the droids- it'll be perfect!"

"I mean... Sure." Rey shrugs.

"We've got to go find you something to wear!" Rose tugs on her arm like a child, and Rey laughs.

"Hold on, hold on. Nursing baby here!"

"Right- sorry."

"Don't get your hopes up too much. The nicest thing I have is the dress I wore when I left the Finalizer with Eloriah- and its covered in grass stains and several sizes too big now."

"Don't worry, we'll see what your future mother in law has in her wardrobe; most of us have something a little nice, especially in our more permanent bases." Rose explains. "Will Ben be okay with a wedding tonight?"

" _Yes, he is."_ Rey grins.

"Oh, I'm sure he won't mind."

"Good!" Rose sits next to her again, and starts rambling about plans, but Rey's attention is back on the sparring match between her fiance, and her father figure.

" _So, did you just agree that we're getting married tonight?"_ he asks through the bond, his voice a bit distant as he focuses on ducking out of Luke's hold.

" _I did. But you said you didn't mind? I mean, I assume you've been eavesdropping this whole time."_

" _Is it really eavesdropping if we intentionally leave the bond open? I can't help it if I hear everything you hear."_ He insists. " _And I don't. How could I, when I get to marry you? It just seems very sudden."_

" _Rose pointed out that we don't have much time left before...you know. We should live life to the fullest before we have to face him, just in case-"_

" _Nothing is going to happen to you."_

" _But if something did happen to one of us, Id want us to have been married first. And we can holovid the whole thing, so that Gemma can watch it one day."_

" _Gemma and our son."_ he insists. " _and we will watch it with them. because we have a future, Rey. I know we do. I've seen it. It starts today."_

" _I think it started on Starkiller…"_ she says, sending him the memory of the moment he took off his helmet, and then the moment his hand touched her cheek and the bond was formed.

" _That was the beginning of the first chapter."_

" _Is this the second?"_

" _Third."_

" _Third?"_

" _Starkiller was one. Gemma was two. Our family is three."_ Her lips curl into a smile as Gemma finishes her breakfast. She feels Ben's sudden frustration as Luke's saber singes his shirt.

" _That's what you get for talking to some girl instead of focusing on your sparring match."_ She scolds.

" _Don't think about your breasts when you know I'm in your head!"_ He growls, trying to turn his attention back to the spar.

" _I'm feeding our daughter, are you going to hold that against me?"_

" _...No."_

" _I'm sorry for distracting you. I'm going with Rose. Apparently we're getting married tonight, so there's much to do!"_

" _We're getting married tonight…"_ He trails off, and nearly takes another blow from Luke.

" _Focus!"_ Rey laughs out loud, and Rose looks at her like she's crazy. "Sorry!"

"Are you doing that weird...force bond thing?" Rose asks.

"Yes."

"So you haven't heard anything I've said?" Rose asks, and Rey shakes her head apologetically. "Well, then, I'm just going to assume you're okay with everything I said, and we're going to t run with it!"

"...Okay." Rey shrugs.

"Wow, you are so easy going!" Rose laughs. "Like, I could have said that I was going to have Chewbacca perform the ceremony in wookie tradition and dress you in mud and leaves."

"I guess...as long as I get to wake up tomorrow married to Ben...I'll be happy." She sighs. "But also, please don't dress me in mud and leaves."

"Don't worry, I said we wanted something pretty. And I don't think the general would approve of that particular fashion choice."

"I don't think Ben would like it much if I showed up mostly naked in front of other men." The primal, protective growl she hears through the bond is proof enough of that.

"Oh, I'm sure he wouldn't. And I don't want to face his wrath." She teases. "Come on, let's get to work!"

…

"Beautiful. Just...so beautiful." Leia says as she puts a few finishing touches on Rey's hair. She's taken the time to curl it softly, and put a crown of braids laced with white flowers along the top of her head, and Rey has never felt so extravagant. Leia had been so thrilled when she and Rose had come to tell her that they wanted to have the ceremony tonight; she'd told the rest of the generals and commanders that she was taking the rest of the day and she was going to see her son marry the woman he loved. She had even taken the one white dress she'd had in her own closet, a simple floor length dress with long drapey sleeves and a high neck, and adjusted it herself. Apparently, she'd been tailoring her own clothing for many years, since the destruction of her own home planet over thirty years ago. "Alright. Let's let you dressed."

"Leia, I can't thank you enough for everything you've done for me. Not just today, either. Since the first day I met you, you've done everything for me. Treated me like your own daughter. And I love you." Rey says as she stands up, and Leia embraces her tightly.

"I love you too, beautiful girl." Leia kisses her cheek, and grabs up the dress. "There is no one else that could have ever broken through my son's thick skull and brought him back to us." Rey laughs, and her future mother in law helps her into the simple white dress.

"Oh- Leia...it's so beautiful!" Rey gasps when she looks down at herself. The dress she'd put on that morning seems completely transformed. First of all, she's taken it in, and it fits her beautifully. The sleeves are still long and drapey, but now they fall at her elbows. The neckline has been opened, giving her just a hint of cleavage. Around the waist is a thick band of a rich purple fabric, leading to a simple, long white skirt that falls to her toes. It's so simple, but it's so incredible...it's perfect.

"I can't take all of the credit. I took it to a few of the pilot's wives who you stayed with back on Hoth. They were more than happy to do some of the sewing." Leia smiles. "Now, I just have one final touch." She goes to her closet, and pulls out an ornate wooden box. "How much do you know about my mother?"

"Her name was Padme, she was a queen, and she died in childbirth." Rey says.

"That's all correct. I never knew her, but I've heard so much about her...it's actually one of the only reasons I've ever tolerated my father's visits. He's told me so much about her. And I've seen holos of her, she was so beautiful...well, once I found out about my parentage, Naboo, her home planet, they gave me some of her things. I keep most of them in a safe place with an old friend, named Lando, but I've always kept a few things...mostly her jewelry." She gestures for Rey to come sit beside her on the bed, which she does. "And I want you to have something of hers."

"Oh- Leia, I couldn't. They were your mother's things." Rey shakes her head.

"They're our family heirlooms. And you're as much a part of the family as I am. And if not you, who do I pass these things down to? Ben? What would he do with them, except give them to you to wear? And someday, you can give whatever I give you to Gemma." Leia shrugs, and pulls out a golden chain with a perfect round purple stone dangling from an ornate golden flower. "I used the purple fabric to help add some length to the dress because I knew it would go match this necklace...and i thought you'd look beautiful in purple. I was right."

"It's beautiful...I…"

"You do deserve it. Come on. Let me put it on you. Move your hair." Rey knows better than to argue any more. The necklace falls below her collar bones, and she lifts her hands to touch the stone. "Now you're perfect." Rey can't seem to help it when she wraps her arms around Leia again. A knock sounds from the door, and Leia calls them in.

"Oh my gosh! You look so beautiful!" Rose gasps as she enters the room with Gemma in her arms.

"So do you!" Rey grins. Rose is wearing a simple ensemble, a clean white blouse and a knee length grey skirt. She's wearing her hair down for a change, and she looks so happy.

"Oh please, you're so gorgeous!" Rose rolls her eyes, and holds out Gemma. She's wearing her nicest outfit, a simple pink dress covered in ruffles, a gift from Leia. Rey takes her in her arms, and kisses her chubby little cheek.

"I think that Gemma is the one who is gorgeous...oh look at you!" Rey grins, and her daughter giggles. "Do you know what today is, my sweet one? Mama and papa are going to get married...Now, I've heard that usually, people get married and then have babies, but your papa and I aren't really...usual people. And I'm glad, because it means that we have you, and I love you so much. And really, you're lucky. Not every kid gets to be in their parent's wedding holos. You'll have Auntie Rose to thank for all of these memories. She sort of insisted."

"And she's going to thank me for it someday!" Rose insists. "Now, I've got everything all ready out there. Finn's going to film for us, I got a ton of old candles from supply, and the sun is just starting to set. Everything's ready. Ben is ready." Rey feels her heart thump unevenly. "Now, most brides carry flowers at their wedding, but I thought that you'd probably like to carry Gemma."

"You're right." Rey smiles, kissing her chubby cheek again. "Well...I guess we'd better go."

"Look at her- she's all anxious because she's had the bond closed all morning." Leia says with a smile.

"Because someone insisted." Rey shoots her a frown.

"Well, I didn't want him seeing you before it was time!" Leia insists. "And you should thank me, because after this there will be no reason to ever close it again; I was just giving you a last break from my son." The teasing edge in her voice makes Rey smile. But what makes the smile broader is the truth of her words. After today there would be no reason to shut up the bond again. After today she and Ben would be joined as one in every way humanly possible. Rose takes her free hand, and leads her out the door with Leia following close behind. They draw a lot of attention from the people milling through the halls.

 _Holy- who would have guessed that she was so hot underneath all those desert rags?_

 _Oh my goodness, she looks so beautiful! And the general looks so happy- oh, I bet she just never thought that this day would come!_

 _Didn't know Rose could actually look like a girl-_

 _I didn't think she'd actually go through with it. The Jedi and the Sith. There's a holofilm waiting to happen._

 _Can't believe how much fuss the General made over this._

But today, the thoughts mean less than nothing to Rey. She feels lighter than air as Rose leads her out of the base, and as they turn off of the beaten path of the forest, Rey's heart beats faster, because she feels him more and more with each step. She knows exactly where they're going.

"Our somewhere green…" She says softly as they walk.

"Yeah, I uh, I asked Ben if there was a spot that he thought you'd like...I was just going to use the rec room, but he said that this place was important to the two of you. I kind of figured this actually was probably the place you'd go when you'd meditate, and disappear on us for an hour or three." Rose explains. "He said that he didn't think you'd mind sharing it for this."

"He's right." Rey smiles.

"Wait here." Rose says when they're just outside of the copse of trees that conceals the clearing. Leia puts a hand on her shoulder, and smiles at her.

"Will you walk with me?" Rey asks. She didn't know much about weddings, but from what she'd seen in the few holofilms she'd watched with Rose and Eloriah, a bride usually walked with her parents...and Leia was as close as she had.

"I would be honored." Leia says, her voice growing thick. Soft music begins to play from the clearing, and Leia blinks away tears. "This is music from Alderaan, my home world."

"It's beautiful." Rey grins.

"I don't think anyone's played it since I got married." Leia admits as she takes Rey's hand.

"Well, I'm glad they're playing it today."

"So am I. Shall we?" Leia asks, and Rey nods and adjusts her daughter. She let's Leia lead her, and she gasps when she enters the clearing. She'd always thought it was beautiful by sunset, but Rose and Eloriah had outdone themselves. Dozens of candles are strewn about in simple glass bowls that she recognizes from the mess hall. She briefly wonders how Rose got them to agree to let her use them, but she's distracted at once when she looks at Ben, and they open the bond at the same time.

" _Beautiful."_ they both send, and she sees him roll his eyes.

" _You are. To me."_ She insists, her lips curling into a smile. She's always thought he cut a fine figure in black, and she thinks no differently seeing him now in black trousers and his nicest black tunic. She meets his intense stare again, and her face turns pink as his mind fills with his absolute adoration. She casts her eyes to the other faces in the clearing. Luke, standing up front with Ben, ready to perform the ceremony. Rose standing next to Finn, who's holding the holocam and smiling. Eloriah holding Poe's hand and already looking teary eyed. Chewbacca smiling as he stares at Ben, and then at Rey, and then at Ben. BB-8 and R2 are next to him, with C3P0 on his other side. Even the droids seem to be radiating joy. Leia places her hand in Ben's, and takes Gemma from her arms.

" _I love you."_ His soft voice fills her senses, and she lifts her hand to touch his cheek.

" _I know."_ They turn their attention to Luke, who conducts the ceremony with great dignity. They speak and exchange the simple vows, their hearts beating as one in time with the slight pulse of light that seems to emanate from their joined hands. She's surprised when Luke asks for Rings, and R2 rolls forward and presents them from one of his compartments.

" _When did you get these? Where did you get them?"_ Rey asks, as he slides the cool metal band over her finger.

" _Maintenance."_ He smirks, and a closer look at them reveals that they were indeed cut and smoothed pieces of pipe. She grins up at him as she slides the larger ring over his finger, marking him as her own. " _I thought you already did that?"_ He winks, drawing her attention to his scar- her scar, he liked to call it.

"And they love each other so much, they can't stop communicating with the force bond, even in the middle of their own wedding." Luke teases, and everyone laughs. When he finally says "You may kiss your bride." Ben takes her face in his large hands, and kisses her softly, reverently on the mouth before he pulls away and rests his forehead against hers.

"Did you really just marry me?" He asks quietly.

"Of course I did." She puts her hands on top of his, and smooths her thumb over the cool metal of his ring. "Because I love you."

"I love you." He kisses her softly again, and as soon as he pulls away, they're both enveloped in a wookie hug. Rey laughs as she wraps an arm around Chewy, delighted by the familiar scent of leaves and sunshine. He releases Rey, and wraps his arms around Ben, saying something to him with a voice quieter than Rey had ever heard him use, but she hears exactly what he says through the force bond.

" _Your father would be happy that you married her. He loved Rey very much. He never said, but I knew. He loved you very much too. He had so much hope, at the end. He wanted you home so much. And you came home, little Ben. You came home."_ She feels tears sting her own eyes as her hand finds Ben's.

"Congratulations!" Rose cries, running up to hug her. "See, I told you I could plan a wedding in a day- I told you, didn't I?"

"You did. And you were right. Thank you, so much Rose. It was perfect." Rey grins, and squeezes her tightly. "This was exactly what we needed it to be."

"I'm glad." Rose smiles, and waves Finn over. He's still filming. "Get a close up of the bride- she's so beautiful, isn't she?"

"Almost as pretty as you." Finn nods, and Rey rolls her eyes.

"Shut up, everyone knows the bride is always the most beautiful." Rose says as she smacks his stomach gently.

" _She's always the most beautiful."_ Ben says, and she glances over at him and smiles.

"You know, the silent communication thing is sweet, but also super confusing sometimes!" Rose laughs and shakes her head.

"Oh, now here comes the most beautiful girl- just you wait Finn!" Rey says as Leia approaches, and she takes Gemma in her arms. "Now just look at this face? How could I ever compete?"

"What do you think, Solo? Who's the prettiest girl at the wedding?" Poe challenges.

"It's a tie. I could never decide between these two." He says, taking Gemma in his arms and kissing her, and wrapping an arm around Rey to kiss her hair.

"That's so sweet!" Eloriah sighs. "I have never seen any couple more in love."

"Rude!" Finn cries with mock offense as he wraps an arm around Rose. Rey chuckles, and Leia wraps her arms around her son.

"My Ben...My boy...My son." She smiles, and puts her hands on his face, no doubt remembering when he was only Gemma's age.

"Mother- Mama, I'm so glad that you got to be here to see this." He says earnestly. "And I'm so sorry that...he- that father...that he wasn't."

"I know." Leia says, patting his cheek gently, brushing away a single tear with her thumb. Rey is glad that Finn has turned the camera onto an argument between BB-8 and C3P0. "And I think he does too." She turns to Rey, and gestures for her to join their hug, which she does without hesitation. "Well, what are you waiting for Luke? Get in here." She insists, and Luke lays a hand on Ben and Rey's shoulders. "I'm so glad that we're all here together. A family. Like we should be."

"I am too." Luke smiles.

"Now, there is some paperwork that needs to be signed." C3P0's voice gets louder.

"Come on, let's sign the papers before the protocol droid busts a circuit." Ben rolls his eyes, and Rey laughs.

"Here, I'll take the kid." Luke says, and Ben passes her over and takes Rey's hand.

"Okay 3P0, where are the papers?"


	50. Chapter 50: Together

_**AN: And what wedding plotline could be complete without the wedding night?**_

They stay out for a few hours, and have a picnic for dinner under the stars. Rose had planned everything out extremely well, and extremely quickly, a testament to her determination. When Gemma starts to nod off, Leia bids everyone goodnight, and starts back to the base against Rey's protests.

"Dear, it's your wedding night- now, obviously, it's not your first time…" Leia says, glancing at Gemma and then looking back at Rey. "But it's still a special night. I'm keeping the baby tonight, no arguing. You might as well just thank me."

"...Thank you." Rey says, her cheeks flaming. Leia nods, and pats her cheek gently before she turns and starts to go.

"I'll walk you." Luke says, and he embraces Rey before he follows his sister out of the clearing. Rey resumes her seat next to Ben on the grass, and he wraps his arms around her as they stare up at the now starry sky.

"Breathtaking." Rey murmurs quietly, and he nods, never taking his eyes off of her.

"Yes." He agrees, his fingers running over the bare skin of her shoulders. Her whole body starts to tingle.

" _How soon can we leave and not have them think we're rude?"_ She asks, biting her lip. He shrugs, and stands up.

"Thank you guys, for everything." He says, pulling Rey up from the grass. "It's been great, but I think we're going to turn in." Rey's blushing, and she's glad when he pulls her out of the clearing so quickly that their friends don't have time to react. They keep their fingers twined together as they walk slowly, enjoying each other's company.

"Today was perfect." Rey says, glancing up at him through her thick lashes.

"It was. It is." He agrees. "It's not over yet." Her blush spreads. "I love your skin when you blush...when you want me...it's like cream and roses."

"That makes me sound elegant." She shakes her head.

"You are. You're a goddess; how many times do I have to remind you?" He stops walking, and catches her face in his hands, kissing her far more deeply than he had at the ceremony. She moans against his mouth, and her fingers tangle in his hair. "My wife. My perfect, beautiful wife."

"I can't believe that I'm actually a wife...I was just getting used to being a mother." She laughs as they resume walking. "But I'm really yours. And you're really mine...of all the ways I was expecting my day to end…" They're taken back to Starkiller when she speaks those words, remembering the first time she'd spoken them, just after they'd made love for the first time. When they'd made Gemma.

"So much has changed, since then." He observes, his thumb tracing patterns on the back of her hand. "So much still is going to change."

"For the better." She insists, stepping in a little closer to him. "Everything is better when we're together. Always."

"Always." He agrees, lifting their joined hands to kiss the back of hers.

"I know we've got a lot ahead of us-"

"I don't want to think of any of that tonight, Rey." He sighs, running his free hand through his hair. "Tomorrow, we'll think about what we have to do next. But today...tonight...I just want to think about you, about us. Is...is that okay?"

"I'll allow it." She says after pretending to deliberate for a moment. They pause and punch in their ID code at the gate before he scoops her up in his arms. "Ben!"

"What? It's a threshold!" He insists. "Yeah, I've seen the holofilms, I know what grooms are supposed to do." He teases when he senses her shock.

"You...watch holofilms?" She asks.

"Even Kylo Ren got bored sometimes." He shrugs, but winces when he feels the negative memories that the name conjures. "Sorry."

"Shh. no, no apologizing. Not tonight, remember? Only me and you...us?" She asks, lifting her hand to cradle his cheek. He nods, and she cranes her neck to kiss his jaw. "You know, we're well over the threshold, I could walk back to our room."

"And I'd just have to pick you up again when we got there."

"Yes, picking me up is clearly extremely strenuous for you." She chuckles. She's glad that it's late enough that the halls are deserted.

"Extremely." He nods, pretending to let her slip through his arms only to catch her again. She hits his chest gently.

"You're ridiculous." She laughs. "And I love you." He opens the door with a wave of his hand, and carries her to their bed as it closes behind them. He lays her down gently, splaying her hair around her head like a halo, and he stares at her. "What?"

"You look so beautiful...and this dress...I can't decide if I should rip it off or if I should hike up the skirt so I can watch you fall apart while you're dressed like a perfect virgin bride…" He says, and a chill of excitement runs across her body.

"Why not both?" She asks as heat courses through her blood. He smiles, and kneels on the edge of the bed, pulling off her shoes, and slowly working his way up her legs, tugging the skirt up an inch, and kissing the newly exposed skin thoroughly before moving it up another inch and repeating. It's like exquisite torture, and she's embarrassingly ready for him by the time her skirt has reached her thighs. He's radiating pride and desire as his lips brush one thigh, and then the other, and he gently pushes the skirt up over her hips and lets out a low groan against her skin, making her writhe. "Ben!"

"I can't believe you weren't wearing anything under this all day and you didn't tell me." He growls, his hands trailing up her legs. She's blushing now.

"The skirt was too tight in the back- you could see my underthings through the dress." She explains, not mentioning that his mother was the one who'd suggested this solution. It had seemed practical at the time, after all, it was a full length dress, so there was very little risk of an incident where people would see that she had foregone the tiny scrap of fabric...but it was clearly doing very, very powerful things to Ben. "I...didn't realize you'd like that so much." He hums in approval, reaches up to caress her breasts through the white fabric. "Ben- please!" She gasps, arching her back.

"I was going to go...so slowly…" He says, moving up her body to kiss her lips gently. "Watch you fall apart with my hand between your legs…" She can't stop the moan that escapes her lips.

"I need you. Now." She insists, reaching between them for his belt buckle. He doesn't object- he needs her just as much as she needs him. His lips find hers as she frees him, and he enters her swiftly, making them both groan in pleasure. Her legs wrap around him, and his forehead rests against hers, keeping eye contact the entire time. His eyes are deep, and full of love, passion, devotion. She bites down on her lip to keep from screaming, and her eyes flutter shut.

" _Open your eyes- I need your eyes."_ She slowly opens her eyes, and he kisses her as she cries out, feeling nothing but _him._ She sees sparks in her vision, and her whole body is trembling against him as he keeps his pace. " _I love you- Force, I love you!"_

" _I love you, I love you, I love you!"_ Flies from her mind into his as he moves inside of her, already building her up for another crash. He's close, she knows, but he's determined to bring her with him. "Ben!" She gasps as he lowers his head to bite into her shoulder. His pleasure fills her, and she's there again, faster than she had thought possible. He collapses on top of her, his lips moving lazily across the skin of her throat. "Wow…"

"I take it you're satisfied, Mrs. Solo?" He asks, a smile playing on his lips.

"Very." She grins, kissing him. He rolls onto his side, keeping her cradled to against his chest. "Mmm. Mrs. Solo. I like the sound of that."

"So do I. You have no idea how much." He says, kissing her deeply, and gripping her hips tightly in his hands.

"Mm...I think I have some idea." She's beaming now. "Husband." She says, trailing her hand across his still clothed chest. "Off." She says, and he grins.

"So demanding."

"Maybe you just never take your shirt off fast enough." She protests.

"My apologies." He chuckles, and pulls it off, tossing it aside.

"You're so handsome, my love." She says, smiling and kissing his chest. "Someday, when we have our son, I want him to look just like you."

"I want all of our children to look like you."

"Because Gemma looks so much like me." Rey rolls her eyes.

"She's a mix."

"She's perfect."

"I know." He reaches for the back of her dress, finding the buttons keeping it closed, and his fingers begin to work them one by one without ever taking his eyes off of her face.

"You said "all of our children", just how many do you want?" She asks, biting her lip.

"As many as you want." He says.

"That's what you said last time." Rey scoffs.

"I...I don't know. I love you- and I love Gemma...and having more like her...well, that wouldn't be so bad."

"No, it wouldn't." She agrees, lifting her hand to brush some hair out of his eyes as the dress begins to slip off of her shoulders. "Someday. Someday, I'm going to ask you to fill me with your child." His fingers falter for the first time when she says this, and she sees the knob in his throat rise and fall. "You like that?"

"...Yes." He admits. She can feel through the bond just how much he does. The bond floods with images of her, the way she looked while she was round with his child, how she would look different each month as her stomach swelled. She sees an older Gemma climbing onto her lap, patting her stomach. The three of them together in a large body of water, a beach, her sitting on the sand, caressing her stomach while he's holding their daughter out in the surf. And then she sees him kissing his way down her swollen stomach, caressing her breast- it's a memory and a dream all rolled into one. "My beautiful wife." He whispers into her neck as he pushes the dress further down. It catches where he's stopped undoing the buttons, but he's too lost in desire to care as the stitches give way. "Mine."

"Yours." She agrees.


	51. Chapter 51: Afterglow

_**AN: Your reviews never fail to make me smile! Believe it or not, we are getting closer to the end of this story, but I already have like two chapters worth of epilogue, so there will be lots of time for good feels. I do have another Reylo story idea I've been playing around with, so I may or may not have another work in store for you after this one!**_

"We have to finish this." is the first thing that Rey says when she wakes up the next morning. "We can't put it off any longer. He has to be stopped."

"I know." Ben sighs, his fingers playing with her hair, still curly from yesterday. "I wish we had more time."

"We will. After." She says, catching his hand, and kissing his palm. "We'll have all of the time in the world, you and I, with Gemma and the rest of our family. You'll see- we'll have so many years together you'll be quite bored with me."

"With you? Never." he insists, pulling her to his body. "I've said it before, and I'll say it again. If all I ever have is you and Gemma, and a quiet life...I'll count myself lucky."

"Not too quiet, my love." She says mischievously, rolling her hips against his, feeling his body come to life beneath hers, hearing him groan into her neck. "I'd quite miss sounds like that." He sits up, wrapping an arm around her waist and dipping his other hand between them to touch her, making her writhe and gasp. Her legs tighten around his waist, heels digging into his muscular back, wanting him closer, needing him. But he keeps working her with his fingers, dipping his face down to nip at her breasts, the hand on her back splaying and tugging her body closer to his. She calls out his name as she finishes, and he grins cockily.

"I'd miss sounds like that." He says, and his voice is deep and a bit raspy, touching something deep inside of her. Without hesitating, she adjusts her hips, grinding over him before taking him inside her body, kissing him deeply as she does, swallowing his moans, whimpering against his neck as the pace increases, sending shockwaves of pleasure jolting across her body. His movements become erratic, and she bites into his shoulder, drawing a growl from his throat, and suddenly she's on her back, one of his hands between them, making her cry out in a second wave of ecstasy. They lay tangled together, his breath on her neck, her fingers tangled in his hair.

"What was it I said when we woke up? What were we going to do?" she asks, making him laugh against her skin. "You distracted me."

"You're the one who climbed on top of me, naked, looking so beautiful, rolling your hips- if anything you distracted me." He insists, rolling off of her. She's immediately struck by the emptiness she feels, and he pulls her into his arms, kissing her hair. "Don't worry, from here on out, all business."

"Mmm. I don't know about that." She protests, tracing her fingers over his chest. "But we do have to focus."

"Absolutely." He nods, catching her hands and kissing her fingertips. "But, um, first, we could probably use a shower."

"We?" Rey asks, arching an eyebrow.

"I mean, we could shower separately, but I know I enjoy showers a lot more when we take them together." He says, and she grins at him. "Should I take that as a yes?"

"Absolutely." She kisses his chest, and he rises from the bed and heads to the fresher. She stares at him as he walks away, taking in every inch of his skin; taut muscles, riddled with scars, pale skin, crisscrossed with marks her fingernails had made on his shoulders, even a few bite marks.

"Enjoying the show?" He asks, glancing over his shoulder at her as he gathers both of their training clothes from the closet. Her face heats up, and she bites her lip. "Admiring your handiwork?" She sits up, and glances down; he's certainly left her with a number of marks along her skin.

"Ben Solo, I'm not going to be able to cover these with any amount of clothes or makeup!" She gasps, touching the one that she can feel on the side of her neck. His smiles at her, a mixture of guilt and amusement in his eyes.

"Sorry?"

"No you're not!" She chuckles, and he offers her a hand to pull her out of the bed.

"If it makes you feel any better, you could give me one that I can't hide." He suggests, and she rolls her eyes.

"Mhm. I just might."

…..

She's gently rocking her daughter back and forth, singing quietly to her, kissing her forehead. She'd just finished burping her, and was enjoying the few minutes of alone time she had with the precious little girl. She's left her shirt open, letting her daughter rest against her skin, near to her beating heart. Her wide brown eyes are fixed on her mother's face, and a contented gummy smile is on her tiny lips.

"Mama's precious little girl…" She says, lifting a hand to brush a bit of dark hair off of her forehead. "You really are more beautiful every day, every moment. And you are so loved...I love you, your father loves you, Grandma loves you...everyone who meets you loves you. I know that mama and papa have been busy...we've been preparing for something big. I know, it's no excuse. Soon, I promise...soon." She whispers, and she senses him coming closer. "Papa's coming back now. He was talking to Grandma. Sometimes, they don't get along so well, but they had a lot of things happen between them. You and I...well, we've learned from old mistakes. Which isn't to say that I won't make mistakes of my own...I'm sure I will. But I will do everything in my power to make sure you always feel loved, feel safe, feel understood. And Your papa will too. Everything we do, we do for you." The door slides open, and she smiles up at her new husband. As the door slides shut behind him, he strides across the room, and kneels at her feet.

"Every time I see you with her…" He trails off, lifting his large hand to caress the top of the baby's head. "It's so beautiful- you and my child." The love and pride pouring from him is almost overwhelming. Gemma sirs at the sound of his voice, twisting her head gently, and slowly extending her chubby hands to him. "May I?"

"Again, Ben, you don't have to ask!" She laughs, and passes her into his arms. She adjusts her shirt to cover herself, and watches him rise and start pacing around the room, gently bouncing their girl in his arms.

"I never knew it was possible to feel as much as I feel when I'm with the two of you." He says, glancing between them. "I didn't know that so much contentment could exist. And every minute, I think "That's it, that's as beautiful, as perfect as life can be" and then another minute passes, and it's better." She rises from her chair, and wraps her arms around his waist. "A wife and a daughter…"

"A husband. My husband." She kisses his shoulder, and rests her face against his arm. They both know what they'll be doing tomorrow, even if they don't know the outcome, but for the moment, they bask in the beauty that is their family, taking in the force energy that radiates from their beautiful daughter, and from the other.


	52. Chapter 52: The Search

_**AN: Annnnd the action begins again.**_

"Still nothing?" Leia's voice sounds quietly from outside of the bond. Rey and Ben are seated cross legged across from each other, fingers laced, foreheads resting against each other.

"No, not yet." Luke says, and she feels Ben pulling her back in.

" _Focus, my love...we can do this. I know that we can."_ He says, and she nods, closing her eyes tighter. She lets their breathing fall back into sync, in with the light, out with the dark. She feels the force around them, extending far beyond their bodies, beyond the planet, pouring over a great distance, ignoring ordinary lifeforms, focusing in on the force sensitives.

 _A little boy on a distant planet, lifting a broom with a flick of his wrist, smiling to himself-_

 _A woman, using her force abilities to present a show filled with optical illusions-_

 _An elderly man, lazily watching a holovid, using the force to bring himself a piece of fruit-_

 _A girl, probably Rey's age, who has no idea that she has the force-_

 _The stirring of a force sensitive infant in a womb-_

 _An old woman drawing her final breath-_

 _And… a wall._

" _That's him."_ Ben thinks, his voice alarmingly calm.

" _You're sure?"_

" _He's used too much power for it to be anyone else; he's been careless again. The absence of the force there...he's the only one who could manage that, except maybe Luke, and we know that Luke is here."_

" _Where is he?"_ She asks, and they prod along the wall as gently as possible, trying not to let him see that they're there. She's the one who recognizes the planet, and she frowns. " _Jakku. Of course it would be Jakku- the one force forsaken planet it swore I'd never go back to!"_

" _We have to move, before he does. Before he figures us out."_

" _Right."_ Rey nods, and they open their eyes together.

"Well?" Luke asks.

"Jakku." Ben says, rising.

"Jakku? Why?"

"I dont know. As far as I knew there was no base or fortification there...which may be exactly why they chose it. Who would expect it?" Ben asks, pulling Rey up from the floor, and taking her in his arms. "We have to go, immediately."

"Of course." Leia nods, reaching for her comm. "If Snoke is there, we know he's not alone. He'll have guards, troops- who knows how much of the First Order fleet will be near."

"There did seem to be an unusually high number of lifeforms." Rey nods.

"We'll give the two of you an hour head start, give you the element of surprise, and then I'm sending the fleet and the fighters." Leia says, and They nod.

"Where's Gem?" Rey asks.

"With Rose and Finn."

"We have to see her before we go." Rey says, and Ben nods. "Would you make sure our ship is prepared?"

"Of course." Luke nods.

"Come on." Ben pulls on Rey's hand, and they walk swiftly to the outside of the base, knowing that on sunny days, Rose and Finn liked to be outside, and would make themselves little picnics sometimes. Gemma's force signature is easy to sense once they're a little closer.

"Hey- what's up guys?" Finn calls when he sees them coming towards them, but his mood quickly becomes more sober when he sees the look on their faces. "What's wrong."

"Nothing's wrong." Rey says, shaking her head, and reaching for her baby. "We found him. We know where he is. We're going to go find him."

"Maker!" Rose gasps, reaching for Finn's hand.

"One way or another, this ends tonight." Rey says as Ben wraps his arms around both of his girls, pressing a kiss to her cheek.

"We'll give you guys a moment." Rose says, pulling on Finn's arm as they leave. Rey sinks to her knees on the blanket, and he follows behind her. She leans into him, her eyes welling with tears as she takes in every aspect of the child in her arms.

Her fathers eyes, lips, hair.

Her nose, her delicate ears.

Perfect round cheeks, and a gummy grin.

Smelling of sunshine and soap.

So, so perfect, so, so beautiful…

And after this moment, she may never see her again.

"Hey- hey, none of that." Ben whispers into her hair. "We're coming back. We're going to be a family. Forever."

"How do you know that?"

"What have you been telling me since the beginning, Rey? There is nothing that we can't do. We are each each other's greatest strength." He insists, kissing her neck, her jaw, her ear, everything he can reach. "I will never let anything happen to you, or to her."

"What about you?" She asks, turning her face towards him.

"If anything did happen-"

"No!"

"If anything did happen, You know that you'd have to come home alive, for Gemma." He insists. "You know that."

"Could you do it, if I die there, would you be able to come home to her?" He's quiet.

"She needs both of us." He finally says, letting Gemma catch his finger in her hand, holding it tightly. "She'll have both of us."

"Oh Ben…" She sighs, biting her lip as she tries to keep her tears from falling. A new fear strikes her. "Do we even have the choice to live if one of us dies? You've read what I've read about Force bonds...if one of us dies, is the other going to die too? Would we be forced to abandon her?"

"I...I hadn't thought about that." He admits. "I think… most force bonds in history have been between masters and padawans; we have something different, more powerful...we have something that's created a new life...a life we both have to live for. Rey, you're so strong. I know that you could survive it."

"And so could you." She says. "Because no matter what, we don't let her grow up alone." He nods, burying his face in her shoulder. "Mama and papa have to go away, Gem. I don't want to, but we have to. We have to. For you. But...even if we don't come back, you will never, never be alone. Grandma Leia and Uncle Luke, they'll take such good care of you, and they'll just love you so much...and you'll be able to see us all together in our wedding holo, you'll be able to see just how much your father and I loved you, how much we loved each other. Oh my dear, beautiful, sweet girl...You weren't conceived in love, but maker, you were born into it! And you'll grow in it. Safe. Papa and I will see to that."

"I love both of you, so much. More than anything. More than my own life." He says, his grip on her tightening. "I promise you'll come home to her. No matter what."

"I know you'll come back with me. You have to." She carefully turns so that she's facing him, their daughter between them as she hadn't been since before she'd been born. They gaze down at her in silence for a moment, and share a tender kiss. Suddenly, they both feel a dizzying amount of light, that could come from no place, no being, except for their child. "She knows we're upset...I don't know how she knows, but she does."

"It's the force moving through her. It's reading our force signature." He explains, and she nods.

"So clever and good...always so clever and good." She whispers before she kisses her daughter again.

"We have to go." He says softly, and she transfers Gemma into his arms.

"I know." She kisses her daughter again, and they rise together. She wraps an arm around his waist, and they move back to the base. They're met by Luke and Leia, who embrace both of them in turn, kissing their cheeks. Ben finally hands their daughter to his mother, and presses a kiss against his mother's forehead.

"I'll never be able to say enough how sorry I am...for everything." He says softly, closing his eyes. "And I hope you know that I...I do love you, mama."

"Hey, none of that goodbye kind of stuff! Both of you, always with the goodbyes. I'll see you both when you get home." Leia says softly, and Ben smiles. As they move past the Skywalker twins to the waiting ship, she catches his hand, and stares up at him. "I am proud of you, son. And I love you."

"You need to be on your guard, both of you. He knows that you're each other's greatest weakness, but he could never understand, never comprehend the strength you find within each other. He'll do everything he can to divide and conquer. You must not let him." Luke says, keeping a hand on Rey's shoulder as they walk. "No matter what he shows you, because he will show you anything that he thinks will distract you. No matter how much truth there is in what he shows you, you must not let your trust in each other be compromised. I'll be coming with the backup- but you'll need to be well on your way to Snoke before I get there."

"We'll be okay, Luke." Rey says, trying to portray more confidence than she feels. "I trust Ben with my life. I know his secrets. Nothing Snoke could say would turn me against him. Not now." This at least rings resoundingly true. Ben takes her hand as they come to the ramp of the ship. "I love all of you. And I can't thank you enough for taking me into your family."

"We're the ones who should be thanking you, Rey." Leia says, caressing her blissfully unaware granddaughter's cheek. "You've made us a family again. And when you come home, we'll be able to be a family without all of the worry."

"Right." Rey nods, biting her lip. "Take good care of her."

"I promise." Leia says.

"And just in case we don't see Rose and Finn and Poe and Eloriah...make sure you tell them, how much we appreciated everything they did for us. How much we loved them." Rey says, her voice catching.

"Of course." Leia nods. She turns to board the ship, but at the last second turns back and sprints to her daughter, pressing her lips to her hair one last time.

"Mama loves you so much, sweet girl." Ben comes and puts his arm around her shoulder, bending down to kiss his daughter again before he turns them both around, heading to the ship before they can look back again. Rey takes a seat in the pilots chair, but then thinks better of it, and scoots into the co-pilot's seat, much to Ben's surprise.

"You sure?" He asks, and she nods, lifting up her legs and tucking them under herself.

"I...I can't. Not right now." She explains, her breath coming out in trembling puffs. He takes one of her hands in his as he takes the seat, using his free hand to quickly punch in coordinates and prepare the ship for takeoff. She can still feel her daughter's light so strongly right here, washing over her. But as the ship begins to move, it fades, until it's nothing but a flicker in the back of her mind. She doesn't realize that she's crying until Ben has made the jump to lightspeed, and lifted her into his arms. She sobs into his shoulder, and his hands trace soothing patterns over her spine. "This...this is how it felt when I had to leave you back on the Finalizer- like I'm being torn apart; like a part of me is missing."

"I know. I feel it too." He whispers, kissing her hair, his hold tightening around her body. Of course he did, he felt everything she felt on top of his own emotions...and he was always better at concealing his through the bond, to save her from pain.

"Oh my Ben, my dear, dear beloved Ben…" She sobs, and presses her lips to his. She glances at the control panel- they have well over an hour until they come out of lightspeed. She turns back to him with a renewed sense of vigour, desperately pulling at his clothing. His hands move over her, pulling at clothes, caressing. She feels his urgency through the bond; desperate need for her. "I need you too; so, so much!" He groans, pulling her closer, standing to carry her back to the small bunk in the back of the ship. When he lays her down, some of the urgency has vanished, replaced by intensity and adoration as neither of them dares to utter what each is thinking.

That this could be the last time.

His hands delve into her tan pants, finding her core, making her arch against him. She sends him each and every loving thought and memory she has of him, everything she's ever wanted him to know, everything she needs him to know, but as she gets closer and closer, her thoughts become less cohesive, and all she can think is a constant stream of " _I love you, I love you, I love you."_

As she lies back, still trembling, he pulls the rest of her clothing off, and eagerly buries his face between her thighs, not giving her a chance to recover before his mouth is on her, and her fingers are buried in his hair, holding him closer. His lips curl into a smile as they work, and she can't stop the small, embarrassing mewling sounds that escape her lips.

" _Don't be embarrassed. Force! The sounds you make…"_ She feels the pleasure that he feels, bringing her such pleasure. It's almost painful, how much she wants him, needs him inside of her, but he's intent on making her wait, bringing her to the edge as many times as he can before he'll even consider his own pleasure.

"Ben!" She screams, her head thrashing to the side as he moves up her body, his lips finding her breasts, lavishing them with attention as she continues to tremble beneath him. As he begins to kiss his was back down her body, she catches his chin, and pushes him onto his back, straddling him, and kissing him, her teeth dragging his bottom lip between her teeth. "I need you. _Now!"_ She growls, and he grips her hips so tightly that it almost hurts, but oh, the pain is exquisite. She feels like he's everywhere at once; everything is Ben, is their bond, is the two of them together, is that intoxicating shade of violet that always forms behind her eyelids when the bond grows stronger.

When they finally finish, she doesn't move off of him, she just holds him tight, lacing their fingers together, rubbing her thumb over the smooth metal of his wedding ring. His lips find her ear, and he kisses it softly.

"You are everything to me." He says, and she trembles. "You've given me so much."

"No more than you've given me." She insists, shaking her head, letting locks of her brown hair tickle his skin. Energy thrums between their fingertips, and she kisses him again. "He'll never see what hit him." She says after, her voice full of resolve. "We will come out of this victorious. Because he's a coward- skilled, but a coward."

"Rey…"

"No, he is! Think about it! He doesn't do his own fighting; that's what he has the Knights for, and we know from intelligence that the remaining Knights are scattered around the system. His honor guard...they're not Force sensitive- highly trained, but, ordinary soldiers. We have every advantage...especially because he'll want to see you in person. You know that he will. You managed to get away from him. You managed to break his hold after a decade of torture. And I managed to keep him out of my head- he'll want to see us, because as you said, he's grown careless. He'll want to gloat. To boast his power. He won't understand our bond. And that will be his downfall."

"He'll try to find something to use against us. I don't know what it will be- but he's extremely good at finding and exploiting insecurity." Ben sighs.

"Is there something about you I don't know? Something he could use?" Rey asks nervously.

"You know that I've told you everything." He says earnestly, freeing one of his hands to cradle her face. "I know that in the past, he's used...women, against you." His face twists in shame and disgust. "But you know how I feel about you, how much I adore you. I haven't thought of any other woman since the first time I saw you in the forest. You're the only one I want, the only one I could ever want, no matter what he shows you, no matter what he tells you."

"I know." She smiles, kissing his ring. "I know how much you love me. And no matter what he shows you...keep your head, Ben. Don't let your anger get the better of you. Please. You know he's a liar, a snake. A monster. He's going to do everything he can to hurt you, we know that...so don't let him get to you, just don't. That's when he'll get the upperhand. That's when Luke always got the upperhand during our spars. Even if he hurts me, breaks me, kills me, you keep your head. Finish him. Promise me."

"I promise." he nods, setting his jaw. She lays her head on his chest, and lets out a long breath. They stay like that for a long time, the bond pulsing between them, radiating love and warmth. They don't move until the ship pulls out of lightspeed. "It's time." He says quietly, and she nods.

"It is."


	53. Chapter 53: Proud

_**AN: Hello again! Here comes the lead up to the big action...originally It was one long LONG chapter, but I broke it into two, but Don't worry, I should have the next one posted almost immediately after this one. Enjoy!**_

They fix their sabers on their belts, and grab a meager pack of supplies that Ben slings over his shoulder. She makes sure they have plenty of water. She has enough memories of nearly thirsting to death on this planet.

Jakku is exactly how she remembers it. Hot. Sandy. Desolate. Lonely. But she feels so much different than she had the last time her feet had sunk down into this sand. For starters, she is not alone. Ben's hand is wrapped around hers, a physical reminder that she is loved, she is wanted. She has so much more to fight for than a hypothetical family; her daughter, the daughter of the man who she loves is waiting for her to come back. She had friends back at the base, in the fleet and the fighters, counting on her. She had Luke and Leia, who loved her like father and mother she had never had. She has so much to lose now. Too much. She squeezes his hand tighter, and he presses her fingers gently as they begin their trek through the desert sand.

" _Do you feel him?"_ Ben asks through the bond, and she nods. " _I've cloaked us as well as I can- if we're lucky he won't sense us until we're almost there. It's hard to cloak a force bond like ours...it's so powerful."_ He almost sounds smug.

" _He seems...close by."_ Rey observes. The darkness is almost smothering; she hasn't felt it like this since she'd been on board the Finalizer. " _They can't be too close to Nima Outpost- Leia told me we've had a spy there since I showed up at the base, and there's been no report...but there is the village on the other side of the desert...People think it's haunted, so they avoid it."_

" _Lead the way."_ He says, his heart thumping unevenly as he recalls what he'd done in the village she was speaking of. " _Sometimes, I wonder how I didn't feel you when I was on the planet. How could I have missed you?"_

" _I'd never used the force- never shown any signs of being force sensitive. It only woke on Takodana. Which was a blessing- what would you have done if you would have sensed another force sensitive being then?"_

" _I had strict orders to eradicate any force users I came across."_

" _The force was protecting me then...it knew that you and I were meant to meet later. At a time when it would be just the two of us."_ Rey shrugs. " _That much at least worked out well for us. Our beautiful Gemma Bey Solo…"_

" _You never told me why you used Bey as her middle name."_

" _Oh...um, Poe's mother, her name was Shara Bey...and Poe had been so kind to me, and the baby...I just, thought that it would be a good way to thank him. You're not...jealous or upset, are you?"_ She asks, biting her lip and looking at him. He shakes his head.

" _No. I like it. I was jealous of Dameron for a while, but I know that there's only friendship between the two of you. And I can't help but be grateful that he was there for you when I wasn't. I know how much he meant to you during that time...and besides, I did horrible things to him when he was prisoner of the First Order. I'm not saying that using his mother's name in our daughter's name makes up for that, but maybe it helps."_

" _You have grown so much since I met you. You're a man I'm proud to call my husband, the father of my child, proud to call mine."_ She wants to stop and pull him into her arms and kiss him senseless, but they keep trudging through the desert sun and sand. When the charred outline of the village comes into view, the cloak Snoke has put around himself grows easier to see through, and though there's no sign of him, they know he's near. " _Where is he?"_

" _Here...somewhere."_ He grumbles, grabbing her other hand, and she knows what he's doing at once. She tilts her face up, making it easy for him to rest his forehead against hers. They reach out, and at first, there's nothing but a few desert lifeforms, but a bit more pushing reveals something that they hadn't even imagined. Hundreds of lifeforms, all under a cloak, a whole hub of life and activity beneath their feet.

"How?" Rey whispers, opening her eyes and falling to her knees. All she feels is sand. He drops beside her, digging his fingers through the sand up to his elbows before his brown eyes grow wide.

" _Close your eyes, cover your mouth and your nose."_ He instructs, and she does as he had said. She feels sand go flying powerfully in every direction, and she assumes he's used the force to clear it away. " _They've built some sort of tunnel system, underneath the sand...look."_ She opens her eyes, and looks where his hands rest against black metal. She presses her palm next to his; it's cool, but quickly heating in the Jakku sun.

" _How do we do this?"_ She bites her lip, feeling out with the force, trying to find an entry point, but there's nothing. " _We could cut our way in, but there are...Troopers down there, I assume, and who knows how many. If we choose the wrong spot…"_

" _I know."_ He sighs, running his sandy hand through his hair. " _Do you trust me?"_

" _That's a stupid question."_ She rolls her eyes.

" _I think you're right. Snoke will want to kill us himself. He's too prideful to have it any other way. So, we wait until the rest of the resistance makes contact, so we know they're close, and we reveal ourselves. He'll send people out to get us, bring us to him. We'll find the entry point that way, so the rest of the forces can infiltrate."_

" _It seems...risky."_ Rey bites her lip. " _But I trust you, Ben. If you think this is the way, then I do too."_

" _I love you."_ He sighs in relief, kissing her temple. She leans into his shoulder, relishing in his closeness. " _We will do this. We can do this. Together, we can do anything."_ He repeats in like a mantra, his voice lulling her into a sense of calm. She plays with his fingers, always falling back to his wedding ring, twisting it around his finger, smiling slightly despite the dire situation.

" _You married me."_ She observes, and he lets out a quiet laugh.

" _Yeah, I know, I was there."_

" _It's too bad you ripped the back of that dress...Someday Gemma might want to see it!"_ Rey says, and if it hadn't been for the heat causing her skin to be pink, she'd be blushing now at the memory of the fabric ripping when he'd lost patience. She'd been too embarrassed to ask Leia to help her fix it.

" _You shouldn't have looked so enticing then...and who makes a dress with that many buttons on it?"_ He opens the small supply pack, and hands her the canteen, handing it over to her for the first drink before he takes one himself. She wraps her arms around his shoulders, just holding him close again. He leans his cheek against the top of her head, they let the bond flow between them, strengthening with every second. Finally, the comm chirps, and Ben lifts it to his lips, his voice only a low murmur that she wouldn't be able to understand if she couldn't hear his thoughts through the bond. He explains his plan, and Poe responds positively. Of course he'd be the one. "You ready?" He asks, and she kisses him on the lips once before she nods. She can feel the way that the cloak he's put over them falls away, and almost instantly, they're bombarded with the darkness.

" _Well, The traitor and the scavenger, come to pay me a visit…"_ She feels Ben's hand begin to shake as Snoke's voice enters his head. " _Hm...No sign of the bastard though...pity...I should have liked to have you two see it when I filled her heart with darkness…"_

" _Such words from a creature hiding under the sand like a sand rat."_ Rey shrugs, keeping as cool as she could.

" _Perhaps you'd like to come to visit me, my dear...not that there is much of a choice."_ Even as he speaks, she can feel a great amount of soldiers drawing nearer. She taps into the bond, deep enough in their minds to keep Snoke from hearing.

" _Are they watching?"_

" _Look up."_ She glances up, and sees a shape in the sky that she recognizes easily. Poe Dameron's x-wing...far enough away not to be noticed if you weren't looking. Close enough that he could see everything that was happening here on the ground, and she could only assume BB-8 was scanning and filming. She lets out a sigh, and keeps her fingers curled around his.

" _What do we do? Fight? Go willingly? What?"_

" _Go willingly enough. We're outnumbered. Let them think we've come alone. Let them think we are weak."_ She nods, filled with breathless anticipation as she waits.

They would end this together.

Today.

Quite possibly within the hour.

There's a loud groaning sound as a hole opens up in the sand less than ten feet away from them, and they find themselves surrounded by Stormtroopers clad in white, and one dressed in chrome.

"Captain Phasma." Ben says, his voice borderlining respectful.

"Kylo Ren. I must say, I didn't think we'd be seeing you again." Her voice is distorted by her mask, but Rey can pick up a hint of an accent like her own. But she picks up something else too. Genuine dismay at the sight of him, at the thought of taking him prisoner, of taking them to Snoke. There are dozens of blasters trained on them, but Rey knows that with their combined powers, they could stop every bolt midair, and send the ricocheting back...but that would tip their hand too early. "Drop your weapons." She orders, and Rey looks to Ben, who removes his saber, and she follows suit, dropping it in the sand. Phasma picks them up, and attaches them to a utility belt that's slung around her armor. "Bind them." A set of troopers come and secure their wrists with the bulky binders...Rey almost smirks. She remembers hours of training, practicing until she could easily force the binders from her own wrists, and Ben could do the same….and then after they had been satisfied with their ability to escape them, they'd found a new use for the binders back in their private quarters.

They're marched down a long flight of stairs into relative darkness, the whole space radiating the cold of the darkside, buried deep enough beneath the sand to avoid any heat that the Jakku sun would have provided.

" _So, no sabers. No weapons. How do you suppose we're going to do this?"_ She asks, keeping her eyes fixed ahead of her.

" _Snoke doesn't have a saber. He broke his crystal so that I could have a saber...he said I'd be the one who would need such a primitive weapon. His saber wouldn't ignite after that. He said he didn't care. He's always prefered mind tricks, manipulation, lightening. The sabers would have been useful, but we're going to have to use our heads to get out of this."_ He explains, and she nods. As they grow closer to Snoke, she feels him in her head, not hurting her, but lingering, searching, grasping at memories….but she's kept all of the precious ones locked away in the same part of her mind were she'd hidden the bond. " _He wants something to use to manipulate you...something that weighs heavy on your spirit. Something he can twist."_

" _He won't find anything."_ She says firmly. She won't push him out. Not yet. Let him search; it would be fruitless.

" _You'd be surprised with what he can do with almost nothing."_ She knows that if he were speaking out loud, it would be through gritted teeth. She wants to grab his hand, but she keeps her hands directly before her, keeps her eyes fixed on what appears to be a large, intricate metal door….engraved with a language she doesn't know, some ancient form of sith writing. The darkness threatens to choke her, and she knows.

He's on the other side of the door.


	54. Chapter 54: Light Consumes Darkness

_**AN: Sooo, Pre warning, this chapter ends on a bit of a cliffhanger (From me, shocking right? haha) and it might make some of you a little anxious. But you've known me for 53 chapters now, so have faith in me!**_

The door opens slowly, but it does not creak as she had expected it to. Of course, the First Order was nothing if not efficient and well oiled. Phasma waves her hand, and the stormtroopers fall back. She alone walks them in, and takes a knee as the doors clang shut.

"The traitors, Supreme leader. And their weapons." Phasma says, holding them up for him to see.

"Good." His voice is disgusting, Rey decides. He calls the weapons to him using the force, and Rey lets her eyes fall on him for the first time. He's more hideous in person than he had been when she had seen him in Ben's head. "Kylo Ren...I knew you'd come back to me." Rey feels him stiffen beside her.

"His name is Ben Solo." She says, and she feels the force wrap around her body and drag her forward.

"And this is the Scavenger you lost everything for…" Snoke's boney finger lays under her chin, forcing her face up. She meets his eyes without fear as he regards her. "Hmm...Not bad I suppose...not Ren's usual type. He always preferred the blondes, with more ample breasts. Yedda was always his favorite." He attacks her mind then, and she sees the woman in question in her head. It's exactly who she had expected it to be. The blonde woman. Beautiful, moving over the body of her husband-

" _Only you. Forever, only you."_ Ben's voice is quiet in her head, like he's far away from her.

"Husband? So he married you- I'm not surprised. If the force signature of the first child was any indication, any further children would be powerful...tempting, yes, tempting." Snoke observes, and doubts trickle into her head, the familiar voice that she knew had been in Ben's head for his whole life.

 _He only wants you because you're strong with the force...To breed you...your children will be his own army, his own knights...once you've stopped producing children, he'll leave you, naive, stupid girl…_

" _You know that isn't true! Damn it Rey, I love you!"_ His voice is far away, but she clings to it so tightly her head starts to ache.

 _He always liked Yedda best...he loved her...would have taken her as his consort…_

" _Never- you're the only one, you're my heart and my soul, Rey!"_

 _And after you took your child and abandoned him, whose to say he didn't bring Yedda right back into his bed…_

Rey lets out a growl, and she knows it's too soon, but she cannot bear it any longer. She pushes him out, and she flies back, barely catching herself on her elbows which protest against the scraping sensation of metal.

"So much passion...a food of the darkness...you could be so powerful, young Rey, if you only let me teach you." Snoke says, his voice trembling a little.

"I have a teacher." Rey says, pulling herself back up. He laughs, and her anger rises, but she breathes in the light, and breathes out the darkness. Breathes in Ben, breathes out his former master.

"You love him...you love your daughter...such weakness…" Snoke laughs. "You had such potential...Perhaps even more than Kylo Ren; but now the man helps you to block the darkness...but how would you cope without the man?" His force hold on her limbs releases somewhat, and suddenly, she feels him take root in Ben's head, grabbing onto any trace of darkness he can find there, and pushing. Ben grunts, his hands tightly balled into fists. His pain is a shadow in Rey's mind, but it makes her anger rise again. He was hurting him- her Ben, her husband, her family! A feral growl escapes her lips again, and the binders around wrists not only release, but shatter, sending metal scattering around the metal flooring. She feels Snoke's surprise, and she takes the opportunity to dive into Ben's head, pushing the darkness out. His shoulders sag for a moment, and then his binders fall to the floor with far less power than Rey's had.

"Impressive." She hears Snoke murmur. He rises from his chair, which is more like a throne, and she is briefly distracted by his massive height. She takes step towards Ben, making sure to open the bond as far as it will go.

" _You're okay?"_ She asks, and he gives a barely noticeable nod. For a moment it's silent, they regard each other, and then Ben is pushing her aside, tendrils of electric blue barely missing her, instead being caught by his arm as he screams. He steadies himself, catching it with his hands, letting it focus there and fade away. It takes her one second of sitting in horror to react, and she quickly pulls both lightsabers into her hands, igniting them, and Leaping over to her husband, blocking the lightning with her own saber and handing him his own. Snoke hisses, and she takes a step forward. Where Ben's hands had been able to catch it, her saber sends it back. The lightning ceases suddenly, and She becomes aware of the entirety of his Red guard surrounding them. She stands back to back with Ben as the charge, but the two of them are well prepared. They've trained together so many times that their bodies work in perfect harmony, the bond taking over, anticipating what the other would do before it was done. Her hand anchors on his thigh as he bends forward, lifting her to allow her to kick two of the guards square in their chests, the force of the blow sending them flying back. A glance at Snoke reveals his amusement, and his horror, and his clear intent to escape amidst the confusion. " _We have to get to him before he can escape!"_

" _I'll give you a boost."_ He says, and she bites her lip as her saber pierces red armor, flesh, and bone. How can she leave him to fight the guard by himself? " _I'll be fine! Now!"_

" _Right!"_ It's an extremely well practiced move as he carefully squats, boosting her up, sending her flying over the heads of the guard before he resumes the fight. She lands three feet away from Snoke, who has been moving swiftly to what she can only assume is his escape. "We won't let you go so easily!"

"Oh?" He asks, firing the lightning at her again. Her muscles tremble with the force of it as she pushes the saber towards him, deflecting the energy back into his own ragged skin. "When I leave, you'll be dead, and I will find your daughter and she will fulfill the destiny that should have been her father's- I will tell her of your weakness, I will make her hate you!"

"Never!" She screams, adrenaline giving her a boost, allowing her to swing at Snoke, who's surprisingly agile for an ancient creature. She spins, her saber coming towards his hand, and he barely manages to freeze it in time. His hold doesn't last long; the bond is humming and hammering throughout every inch of her body, and she's back on the attack again. He shoots her with another bolt of energy, and this time she lets out a scream of pain as it meets her skin, but the pain drives her, and without thinking, she cuts off his right hand. His blood is a sickly blue color as the wound seals from the heat, and his howl of pain is only eclipsed by a scream from Ben. Her head whips towards him of it's own accord, and she sees him trapped, kneeling amidst the red bodies; there's only two guards left, One has caught him in a choke hold, his weapon inching closer to Ben's face as his saber is stuck to the side, and the other was rising slowly from the ground, injured but unwilling to give up the fight. Snoke is doubled over in pain- she could end this- but not before Ben suffered, before Ben died. She has no choice. "Ben!" She cries, powering down her saber and throwing it to him. He catches it, igniting it so that it punctures the guard's mask, and the hold loosens. The pain Rey feels is blinding, and she cries out.

"You fool!" Snoke growls, attacking her mind even as his lighting makes contact with her flesh. "You could have ended it all here...brought _balance!"_ He spits the last word, and her back hits the cold metal wall. She tries to channel the energy, catching it as she'd seen Ben do, but her hands are stuck as her arms are assaulted by the shocks. "But you chose love...chose him over you...naive, foolish, stupid! And you will pay for it...and then, I'll kill him!" She gives one last try, pushing against his mental hold with all of her strength, but he retaliates by flinging her body across the room. Her head makes contact with the metal, and blood fills her mouth, stars dance behind her eyes, leaving her vision blurred. She sees Snoke take a step towards her, And she knows this is the end. She closes her eyes, filling her mind with beautiful memories as she waits for the pain.

 _The first time Gemma had kicked inside of her-_

 _The look in Ben's eyes when she told him she loved him-_

 _Leia laughing while she tickles her granddaughter's round little stomach-_

 _Luke embracing her with pride when she finally manages to levitate the Falcon, if only an inch off of the ground-_

 _Finn's laugh-_

 _Poe's smile-_

 _Holding Gemma in her arms after the baby finally came-_

 _Marrying Ben-_

 _Waking up in Ben's arms-_

 _Ben's arms around her while she rocks their sweet baby girl-_

But the pain never comes. She hears Ben's roar of rage, distorted by the ringing in her ears, and she forces her eyes open seeing him with both sabers, running at his old master, who manages to fling him away.

" _Keep your head…"_ She finally manages through their bond, and she feels his resolve grow.

"My fallen apprentice...you could have been so much…I could have passed on a galaxy to you."

"I have everything I need. I had everything I needed to begin with, before you took it away from me." Ben growls.

"What? Love? Stupid Child! You will both die...and your child will do what you could not." Snoke lifts his remaining hand, and she feels Ben's mind race.

" _He will never have Gemma- he will never hurt Rey again- he will die, even if I die to bring it about!"_ At the same moment the blue lightning bursts from Snoke's fingers, A brighter, harsher stream of purple light flies from Ben's. It pushes against Snoke's, making the old creature reel as he's forced backwards. Outside of the chamber, Rey is vaguely aware of the sounds of battle. The Resistance is there. And from the sounds of it, they're winning. But she can't focus on that. It's all she can do to keep her eyes on Ben as he slowly overtakes Snoke, his muscles trembling with the strain. "You tried to destroy my family- you lied to me, deceived me, used me and so many others. But you will never do it again! Not to anyone, Not to my daughter!" The light in the room is blinding for a moment, but Rey feels it. The great force presence snuffed out...relief floods her, until she realizes that that's not all that has faded. The bond is going numb, wrapped in gauze- She pushes herself up on her knees, ignoring the pain and the nausea as she crawls to him.

"Ben? Ben!" She cries, finally reaching him, and looking at him. His face is pale, his body covered in burns, and bleeding wounds. She lays her head against his chest, and picks up his heart beat...so slow, like it wants to skitter to a halt. "No. No! No- you don't get to leave me! Not now, not like this!" She lifts shaking hands, and puts them against his chest, right above his heart. Her wounds make it difficult, but a soft blue light slowly envelopes him. His heart beat becomes more steady, but she can feel herself weakening. He wouldn't want her to risk herself to heal him, logically she knows that. But her heart won't let her be logical. Not now. Her energy drains as his increases, but she can feel that it's not enough. "Ben...please…" She begs, her voice breaking.

Around them the darkness is lifting; outside the chamber, there's a powerful light signature, reaching, searching. She stops her healing attempts, and pushes her force signature out to meet his, but she fails...she's not strong enough.

" _Don't worry...I'll bring him."_ She looks up, seeing a tall, hazy blue figure.

"Anakin?" She asks, and he kneels, putting a hand that feels solid on her cheek.

" _My son is trying to find you. I'll guide him. Save your strength. Rest."_ He says, and she believes him. She shuts her eyes, and listens to the uneven thumping of her husband's heart. She doesn't know if she falls asleep, or she loses consciousness.


	55. Chapter 55: Days

_**AN: Hello my dear readers! Your reviews and trust are overwhelming! If any chapter was going to make you want to throw something at the wall, that would be this one...but trust me when I say all will be well.**_

She wakes in a med unit, but she has no idea where she is. There are bandages around her head, and she can tell she's been stitched. Her whole body aches and trembles, and a quick glance tells her she's horribly bruised; luckily, her burning seems minor.

"Rey? Rey?!"

"Leia?" She asks, moving her eyes when her neck refuses to cooperate. Her mother-in-law stands with her daughter in her arms, and she quickly takes her hand.

"Yes, oh my sweet girl, You're awake!" She laughs, brushing tears from her eyes quickly. "You've been out for almost a week!"

"A week?" She tries to clear her throat, but it's horribly dry. Leia nods. "What...happened?"

"You and Ben killed Snoke; You were in terrible shape when Luke found you." Leia explains. "But Gemma has been here everyday, watching out for mama."

"Ben? Where is he?" Leia's face darkens, and Rey forces herself into a sitting position despite the protest in her limbs. "Where is my husband?" She feels out through the force, finding his heart beat, but it isn't strong enough.

"Rey, Ben was hurt very badly. Much worse than when he came to us the first time. The internal damage is extensive...the medics don't have much hope." Leia chokes, and the pain Rey feels in her chest is greater than any amount of Snoke's torture had ever been.

"Take me to him." She demands.

"Rey-"

"Now!" Rey shouts, and her daughter lets out a startled cry. She forces her way up off of the bed, tubes ripping, bacta leaking, monitors beeping. Medics start flooding the room, appalled to see her up on her feet. Unfamiliar nurses and doctors urge her back into bed, But she protests, pushing past them, extremely drivin despite the ache in her bones. She's ready to force push all of them into the walls, but Leia lets out a loud whistle that grabs all of their attention.

"My daughter in law wants to be with her husband! There is nothing wrong with that. Get a chair for her." and no one questioned the General. Rey stood still as she waited; she focused in on Ben's heartbeat, thrumming at a speed that conflicted with the speed of her own. Sluggish, slow, mechanical...yes, she could sense it, the whirring of the machinery forcing his heart to beat in time.

" _Ben? Ben?"_ she tries to reach him, but it's silent, and worse than when one of them had intentionally closed the bond. " _Please...hold on, please!"_

"Rey?" Eloriah's voice breaks Rey's focus. She lays her gentle hand on Rey's shoulder, and eases her into an old wheeled chair. Rey grabs her hand tightly, and Eloriah squeezes it before clearing her throat, and attempting to retain professionalism. "I'll take you to Mr. Solo's room." she goes behind the chair and begins to push it. Leia follows silently at her side, Gemma sleeping in her arms. Ben's room isn't too far from her own, she could certainly have walked the distance, but she could admit she was glad for the chair. She knows which room is his before they open the door. She can sense him and the muted hum of his force signature. The first thought that strikes her is an unwelcome one.

" _Only he could make dying look so good."_

His face is blank, too devoid of emotion to be peaceful. Parts of his hair are singed, but not enough to merit cutting his ebony locks. His body is completely covered in bacta, tubes and wires seem to stem from everywhere on his person, but they clearly aren't doing enough.

" _I told you I would end him...and without him, you will be alone…"_ the voice in her head sounds remarkably like Snoke's, but logically she knows that it isnt. It's her own darkness, her own fear. She forces it down; she'll be damned if she's going to give up on her Ben so easily. When she rises from the chair no one dares to stop her. She makes it to his bed on trembling legs, and she sinks down next to him, putting her hands on his face.

"Ben...oh Ben…" she breathes, kissing his forehead. It's startlingly cold. She breathes in the light, and channels it into her fingertips, forcing it into Ben's body. She feels him responding to her, warmth creeping slowly through his veins. She's nearly to his heart when her attempt fizzles, making her hands fly away from his skin. "No! Ben!"

"Luke and I have both been trying almost non stop since he found you. It's beyond us, Rey." Leia says, her voice weak.

"No! No! Leia, in the time that Ive known you, you have never given up before, even when things seemed darkest! Please, you cant give up now, not on him, not when he's the one who saved us all!" Rey begs desperately. "Please...if you give up, then there is no hope." Leia purses her lips, and hands Gemma over to Eloriah.

"I'm calling for Luke. Maybe the three of us together can make some kind of progress." she says, and Rey knows she's calling for her twin through the force as she strides forward purposefully.

"Yes!" Rey nods, tracing her hands over Ben's face again, lingering on all of the beloved features. Dark eyelashes, long enough to brush his cheeks. Long, proud nose. Ears that she knew he thought were too big, but they made him so endearing. Lips, so kissable and full. "You know you're not allowed to leave me...we've talked about this so many times." She whispers, but he still gives her nothing. "Damn it Ben! Wake up, or I'll never forgive you!"

"Good to see you awake." Luke says as he enters the room. Normally, Rey would smile at him, even embrace him. As it is, she can only manage to glance up at him before her eyes fall on Ben's face again. This should be a joyful time; Snoke was dead, she was certain the First Order was failing. But she felt nothing but dread, and longing. Ben. Oh Ben.

"We have to heal him." Rey says.

"Rey, his wounds are fatal, Rey." Luke sighs. "The odds of him-"

"If Han were here, you know what he'd say." Leia says, almost smirking.

"He never did like to know the odds." Luke chuckles.

"We have to try, Luke...after everything Ben did for us...for them- to come home, to find himself...We owe him this much at least." Leia says, and Luke sighs as he comes to Ben's bedside. They each lay a hand on Ben's chest, and try to envision healing, light, happiness, whatever they think might help. And there's hope, so much hope-

But it fails them again.

"No…" Rey whispers, watching as any color that had returned to Ben's face fades away, and he's once again pale, nearly gray. "No! Ben!" She cries, burying her face in his chest, and curling her fingers around his shoulders tight enough to leave bruises- what did it matter, when he clearly couldn't feel anything. A sob breaks through her lips, and she feels her heart begin to shatter. "Please, please, don't do this- don't tear us apart! You promised me once, you promised you'd never stop trying to please me, and you never break your promises!" Beneath her cheek, his heart thumps unevenly. "Oh Ben…"

"How long?" Leia asks, her voice a whisper in the back of her consciousness.

"Not long, General. Days at most." Eloriah replies, and Rey lets out a wail of agony.

"No- no- no! Ben, please, I'll do anything! Anything to keep you! Please...please…" She cries, her voice strangled. She's nearly on top of him now, her lips next to his ear as her voice grows quieter and desperate. "Don't you want to see it? Our life together? How can you be so selfish- missing Gemma's first word, her first steps? You have to teach her to swim- I'm not good enough yet, I'm not...I can't...I'm not strong enough without you. Please, just wake up, take me to our somewhere green, like you promised. It'll be just us, just our family, and I'll never use the force again- I'll never leave your side- we'll never be involved in any politics or battles. We can name our son whatever you want to call him, even Vader, Just please…"

PHysically, she knows how near he is. She can feel hard lines of muscle beneath coats of bandages and bacta. Hear his heartbeat, his shallow breaths. But he felt farther away than he had when he had literally been on the other side of the galaxy. He held him tighter, as if that could keep him from slipping away.

She could almost hear the clock ticking.

Days at most.

Days at most.


	56. Chapter 56: Sever

_**AN: Here we are, another chapter! Your kind reviews make me smile so much- I'm so glad you're enjoying this story!**_

It's Gemma's crying to be fed that finally breaks her from her stupor. She sits up, and wipes her eyes.

"Give her to me." Rey insists, holding out her arms for the child. "She's hungry. I want to feed her." Rey notices for the first time that her breasts do feel painfully full, and her daughter's cry has made it quite prominent. Leia comes, and lays the baby in her daughter-in-law's arms before backing away to speak to Luke in hushed tones. Rey doesn't care. She opens the top of the hospital smock she's wearing, and guides her daughter to her breast, not caring that she's exposed until Eloriah comes and drapes Gemma's green blanket over her chest. Rey manages a grateful smile, but her eyes keep flickering from her daughter to her husband. Her dying husband. She barely keeps her sob from breaking through her lips.

She had never wanted children back on Jakku. She had never wanted a husband. She had wanted her parents. That was it. She could have been happy with that. But now that she knew knew what it was to have her own family, to have a child of her own body, to have a husband who adored her, who wanted her, loved her...it seemed a cruel thing indeed to have it ripped away from her.

"Oh my little girl...my dear little Gemma…" She chokes as her daughter finishes nursing. She rests her tiny body against her shoulder and rubs and pats her back. "You're safe now. He'll never come for you again. Papa made sure of that, because he loves you. He loves you...and me...more than himself. That's why...that's why this might be the last time that we get to be with him. But we'll be...okay." her voice breaks, and she bites her lip so hard she tastes blood. "I promised him I'd take care of you, such good care of you, just like he promised me if I were the one who...He never breaks his promises, and I won't break mine. You will be my reason for living. You will be my everything. I promise you. I promise you this. And I will never let you forget him. Never. How could you? You have his eyes, his hair, his lips...and I hope you have his heart. His heart is stronger than mine. He...he had such trouble for so long, but he came back for us. To us. He sacrificed himself...for us." She leans back, Her head in the crook of his neck. They sit for a while, and she just lets herself revel in the feeling of the three of them together, three heartbeats, three force signatures. Soon there would be two. "Can't sleep, can you little love? Do you know what's going on? Don't want to miss a minute with him, do you? You always did like the sound of his heartbeat best. It would lull you to sleep… well…" She carefully lays the baby on her father's chest. "One more time."

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Eloriah asks quietly.

"What's the difference now?" Rey asks, putting her hand on her daughter's back. "Yes, that's right love, just lie back, and rest easy. For mama. Please. For Papa too." For a second she doesn't notice the humming feeling shooting through her- through him. She sits up suddenly, seeing the blue haze enveloping her husband fully.

"What in the world…" Leia gasps, coming forward.

"She...she's trying to heal him." Luke says, his brow furrowing. "And it seems like she's succeeding."

"That doesn't make any sense- we couldn't- how could she?" Leia stammers ungracefully.

"Her force signature has always been strong; Even when Rey was carrying her, herforce signature was stronger than even Ben's had been in your womb." Luke says, running his hand over his beard.

"Don't just stand there contemplating, Help her!" Rey insists, her hands already enroute to her husband's chest. Yes, through the bond she can feel it- healing. Luke and Leia almost sprint across the room to join in. They lend their strength to Gemma, since she is the only one who seems capable of reaching the broken places inside of her father. Rey is almost annoyed- how could her infant daughter be doing this when she couldn't? She was the one who was powerfully connected to him, She was the one who knew him better than she knew herself. But then, Gemma was a part of him. Gemma existed only because of the two of them, and her force signature had always been so in tune with theirs… All of her energy is flooding through her tiny daughter and into her husband's chest, and slowly, agonizingly slowly, his heart beat is strengthened, his breathing becomes stable, and suddenly, his eyes fly open. "Ben!" He coughs in response, and she laughs, and scoops the baby up in her arms, kissing her firmly on the cheek before Leia takes her, and Rey puts her hands on Ben's face. She kisses his scar, and Eloriah brings a glass of water forward for him.

"R-Rey?" He asks, his voice still hoarse after drinking thirstily. He lifts a trembling, burn covered hand up to her cheek. "You're crying. Don't cry."

"You were as good as dead, Ben!" She sobs, grabbing his hand, and kissing it. "They said you had days- your heart- oh Ben!" She kisses his lips, her tears falling on his cheek. "Never do that to me again! Never! The next time I'm with you in a med Unit, it had better be because we're having a baby, do you hear me, Ben Solo?"

"Yes ma'am." He says, smiling like he can't help but do so. "Was it real? Did we-"

"You did, Ben. You killed him." She insists, and his eyes droop as he sighs in relief. "You saved us. All of us."

"I love you."

"Oh Ben, I love you. I love you so much." She sighs, kissing him again and again. "Rest. Sleep. We can talk about everything else later." She says, running her hands through his singed hair. He nods, and his head falls back against his pillow.

"Gemma?" He asks, unable to open his eyes again.

"She's here. She's well. She saved you." Rey says, a smile on her lips. "And she'll be so happy to see you when you wake up. For now, rest." He's already asleep when she finishes speaking. Leia and Luke are looking on in awe, and Rey grins up at them.

"Eloriah, is he really-"

"Everything's...in order...I don't…." Eloriah is shaking her head. "I'm getting the doctor. He'll want to see this himself." As she's leaving, Rey's brow furrows and she pushes herself up from the bed to go to her daughter.

"What is it?" Leia asks.

"She…" Rey takes the baby in her arms, staring at her tiny face. She's sleeping soundly, energy probably used up with the efforts of force healing. But something isn't quite right. The light, the blaring, bright beacon of light that always radiated from her was dimming. It wasn't being replaced by darkness though, as she had originally feared. Instead it's just...waned. she holds her ear to her daughter's chest in a panic, but finds her heart hammering at it's usual speed, and her lungs filling with air. "Luke?" she asks, and he takes the baby in his arms with a somewhat grave expression. Even Leia has picked up on the change now, and her brow is creased with worry. The old Jedi Master lays his hand against the tiny girls head, his eyes closed and his head bowed as if in meditation.

"She's...fading? Is she-"

"No." Rey shakes her head. "her vitals are all strong."

"Then why-"

"I dont know!"

"She used up a lot of force energy there. You've told me before that she would sometimes project her light when you were distressed?" Luke asks.

"Yes, me or Ben, since she was inside of me." Rey nods.

"Obviously she's only a baby, but she's finely attuned to the emotions of those around her. Outside emotions influence her force use. Her force felt Ben's slipping, and poured itself generously...perhaps more than it should have." Luke says slowly.

"What does that mean?" Rey asks.

"Sometimes, in extreme cases, a force user can...burn out their connection to the force, so to speak." Luke explains, and Rey just shakes her head.

"I don't understand- What does that mean?"

"It means that they're rendered unable to use the force." Luke says, and Rey feels cold dread wash through her system.

"What?" She asks. "No. No- she can't have...how? She's only a baby-"

"The force works in mysterious ways." Luke says, handing her Gemma. Rey's arms are shaking, but she does everything she can to keep them steady as she looks at her sleeping daughter, her mouth partially open, just like Ben's is when he falls into a deep sleep. So unchanged, and yet…

"Oh my little love, how? Why?" She asks, as if her daughter will somehow answer her. "Is there a way we can get it back? Her force connection?"

"It is possible that it will return with time, and meditation, but, there is no guarantee." Luke explains.

"This isn't fair- she didn't know what she was doing!" Rey hisses, suddenly all too aware of Ben's slumbering form. If this news was unsettling, and upsetting to her, it would be unbearable for Ben. His whole life had revolved around his force connection. Certainly it had brought him to darkness, but it had also helped to redeem him. It had connected him with her, it had helped them fall in love. It had almost certainly been the only reason for her pregnancy, since there was no medical reason she should have been able to conceive while starving and not bleeding. It made colors brighter, sounds clearer, life more vibrant. He'd lived without it- only briefly when he'd cut himself off, but it had been enough that he'd hated it. And Rey had lived without it until she'd met Ben, and her force connection had been awakened. She knew there was a difference. Their daughter had been born with it. It should have been hers. And she had sacrificed it for her father. Rey sinks to her knees, still holding Gemma close.

"The force always knows what it's doing." Leia says, putting a hand on Rey's shoulder. "She's alive. Ben's alive. Isn't that what matters?"

"Ben will never forgive himself." Rey shakes her head.

"I know." Leia sighs.

"Her connection...it's not completely severed. She's stronger than Finn or Eloriah." Rey says desperately, even though the connection is still fading. Leia just smiles sadly at her. "Oh Gem...my little Gem...I'm so proud of you...and I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."


	57. Chapter 57: We'll Get By

_**AN: Good Morning Readers- since your reviews were so kind I decided I should take a moment before work to give you a new chapter!**_

Ben wakes in a panic, and seems almost confused when his eyes fall on Gemma sleeping peacefully in Rey's arms. She's cleared the room already, knowing this conversation won't go well.

"Rey- what's going on?" He pushes himself up into a sitting position, and leans heavily against the headboard. They've removed many of the tubes and wires, though some still connect him to the machinery around him."What's going on- why can't I feel her?" She rises from the chair, and crosses to his bed, climbing in beside him gently to avoid hurting him. She gently extends Gemma to him, and he puts a hand on her chest, just like the first time he'd seen her, feeling her heartbeat. "What's going on?"

"Ben, you have to stay calm, please." She starts, and he nods slowly. She opens her mind to him, and lets him see the events of the previous day in their entirety. She feels so many emotions coming from him that it's impossible to know what he's feeling.

"No." He shakes his head, and withdraws his hand from his daughter. "No!"

"Ben, it's alright- it's going to be alright!" Rey says, trying to reach out a hand to him, but he recoils. "Ben?"

"She has to take it back- I don't...I can't have it- she- this is a mistake!" He puts his hands over his face, raking broken fingernails through his hair almost painfully.

"You don't mean that!" Rey insists.

"I do- she's only a child, she was gifted- it should not have been used for this- for my life!" Ben cries. "There has to be a way, she has to take it back!"

"There's no way, Luke already told me that the connection was severed- you saw for yourself!" Rey explains as she shakes her head. "You can't mean this, Ben. You can't honestly wish that you were dead!" He doesn't respond, only casts his eyes down, his fingers pressing harshly into his scarred arms. "Ben! No- no, you're here, you're alive, with me, with your daughter! That is what matters!"

"She will never forgive me. Not for this."

"She won't forgive you, or you won't forgive yourself?" She asks. "She's only a baby, Ben...she'll never know what she lost. People live happily without the force all the time- most people. If she never gets it back, she'll still be happy. She'll have a family who loves her. That's what matters."

"It was hers. Her legacy. She was the balance." Ben shakes his head. "I stole it from her."

"How could you have stolen something from her? You were unconscious!"

"The force made a mistake."

"You told me that the force makes no mistakes." Rey points out.

"Then why-"

"Because you were meant to live. You were both meant to live!"

"Not like this." Then she feels it. The darkness. She has not felt it in so long, but there it is, encompassing him, ebbing through the bond.

"No, no!" Rey insists, transerferring her daughter to one arm so that she could hold his face with her other hand. "Dont you dare. Don't you dare let the darkness in, not now! Not when you've come so far! Not when you have a wife and a daughter who love you!" His eyes are almost black as he looks at her. "Do you love Gemma any less because she isn't force sensitive anymore?"

"What? No- of course not!" Ben snorts indignantly.

"Why not?" Rey asks.

"Because she's our girl!" Ben cries, his eyes wild.

"Exactly! Exactly." She cautiously scoots closer to him. "Nothing is wrong with her. She's our child, and no matter what, we will love her. We will care for her. Nothing, _nothing_ will change that."

"No. It won't." he says, and she feels him digging into himself, trying to find the light to center himself. Cautiously, she lays the baby on his chest. He winces, but his arms slowly rise to circle her, and the darkness vanishes.

"She still has her light, Ben. See what it just did to you?" she says, stroking his hair tenderly. "She's still just...ours. Our Gemma Bey Solo. She's extraordinary. She's beautiful. She's-"

"Perfect." He finishes, tears streaming from the corners of his eyes. She kisses them away, and lays a hand on Gemma's back. "How will we ever explain this to her? How will _I_ explain it to her?"

"When the time comes, we will discuss it. We'll figure out how to tell her everything. And in the meantime we give her the best life possible, the two of us, that's our mission. Nothing will ever be more important than her." Rey says fiercely.

"Nothing." he agrees, nodding. She leans her forehead against his, and presses her lips to his cheek.

"For what it's worth, I'm grateful to her. Maybe Im selfish, but I'm so grateful that you're alive." she whispers. "I really thought you were going to leave us. I really thought…"

"How could you think I wasnt grateful? I'm grateful for every minute, every second I get with my girls. And because of Gemma...I get more than I was meant to. More than I deserved- of course Im grateful!"

"After what you did, how could you possibly still think that you don't deserve love?" she asks, shaking her head.

"I...used lightning." he frowns. "S- _he_ tried to teach me so many times. I never could."

"Because you didn't use hate to summon it, Ben. I was in your head. You used love- you had to protect me, and Gemma. You used the light."

"I used…" he shakes his head, and looks down at Gemma.

"Yes. And _you_ defeated Snoke. _You_ ended the war. _You,_ Ben Solo." She's grinning now, tucked against his side.

"I was there. You helped." he insists.

"I told you to keep your head. You did the rest."

"You cut off his hand." He points out. He lifts one hand to her head, touching the bandage there. "Are you okay?"

"I'm _fine."_ she almost laughs. "Just a concussion. Some stitches. I've been told I'm healing beautifully."

"Good." he sighs. Gemma starts awake, starting to babble and coo. "Hey there Gemma...don't worry. I'm here. I promise, I'm not leaving you again."

"And daddy never breaks his promises." Rey whispers, running a hand over each set of beautiful jet black curls.

"Never." Ben winks at her, and she leans in to kiss him again. His guilt is still boiling up inside of him, but self loathing had been replaced by love and determination.


	58. Chapter 58: A Family Outing

_**AN: Dear readers, I'm so pleased with the feed back you've given me, especially since I'm writing this mostly for my own enjoyment. I understand that some of you may not like the story, but if that's the case, you're always free to stop reading. I'd just like to adress one thing a reviewer said about my Ben: Yes, he slept with other women in the past and enjoyed it, but that was before Rey. The guy was miserable and lonely, of course he was going to seek human comfort in whatever form he could get it. While he did kiss another woman while he and Rey were apart, as the creator of this particular starwars fic universe, I can assure you he didn't sleep with her again, and he only kissed her after hours of mental and physical torture that was all geared towards making him forget himself. Ben really and truly loves his little family.**_

 _ **Okay. Rant over. Back to adorable Solo family fluff.**_

She's nursing Gemma and watching Ben train again, just like she liked to do before. He's still moving slower than he did before they had faced Snoke, but it was only his second time training after one month of bed rest and two weeks of extreme restriction. Her head injury had taken quite a long time to heal, and she still got a bit dizzy, but Eloriah had told her that it would go away with time. He was still magnificent.

" _You're the one who's magnificent."_ She smiles and looks down at her girl. She's gotten much bigger in the last month and a half, nearly seven months now. And she was gorgeous, absolutely gorgeous. Every day she got closer to being able to speak; "da" and "ma" were constantly spewing from her lips, and it was only a matter of time before she connected them to her parents. Her parents who loved her dearly, and spent every day with her, reading to her, playing with her, teaching her. Most of the Rebellion forces were busy, darting around the galaxy to get rid of the last of the First Order strongholds, or building the new Republic. Things were different this time, the General saw to that. She'd seen the fail of two senates in her lifetime, and knew many mistakes to avoid.

" _Are you almost done?"_ She asks, not that she could complain. It had been a month and three weeks since she had made love to him, and seeing him in his tight black training clothes was quite a sight. He'd lost a bit of muscle mass, but not much, and nothing he wouldn't be able to regain. They may not have been fighting a war any longer, but training was a part of who Ben was.

" _Nearly. I can stop early if you like?"_ He glances over his shoulder at her while meeting the training droid blow for blow.

" _No, no, you can finish what you're doing. I still have to burp her anyways. Then I was thinking we could go to the pond? It's so bright out."_ Rey suggests as her daughter finishes feeding. " _And Gem loves it."_

" _Sounds good to me. Why don't you go get some food, we can make a day of it?"_ He suggests, but she hesitates. She was hesitant to let him out of her sight- she hardly had in over a month now. " _Rey…"_

" _I know, I know."_ She sighs. " _I just...I don't want to be away from you."_

" _Then don't. We can go together."_ He powers down the droids, and shuts his saber off.

"You could have finished your regimen. We could have waited." She rolls her eyes as she jogs over to her, and kisses her over their daughter's head.

"Yeah, Well, I couldn't." He shrugs, and takes Gemma out of her arms. "How's my girl? Huh?" He tickles her gently, and she giggles. "Had a good lunch? I saw you were at my favorite place. One of them anyways." He winks at Rey, and she blushes.

"Ben!"

"What? She doesn't understand!" He laughs, and gives her his hand to pull her off of her bench. She twines their fingers together and keeps him close as they walk through the base together. They're treated much differently now; They're treated like heros, instead of a traitor and a madman. People even smile at them while they pass. It still makes Ben uneasy, and that has to make her smile a little. "Have you heard from Rose?"

"Yes; she's back on her home world right now, working with Finn and Phasma to find the families of the former storm troopers. She says that she misses us, but mostly she misses Gemma." Rey smirks. "Finn stole the transmitter after that. He's thinking of asking Rose to marry him, and wanted my advice."

"What did you tell him?"

"Well, that I wasn't the best one to ask for help with romantic things. He said that that was ridiculous because I was married with a baby, but then, there was nothing traditional about the way that happened, was there?" Rey laughs. "But, then I told him that he should just go for it, and ask her. She obviously loves him, and he loves her. She's been telling me since we met that Finn was obviously the one for her. He's getting a ring for her; apparently her mom used to have a ring with a red stone in the middle, but when the First Order came, and things got bad she sold it. He wants one like it when he asks her." They walk in silence for a few minutes towards the mess hall.

"Are you disappointed that I didn't give you a ring?" He finally asks.

"You did?" She says, holding out the hand where her wedding ring lay.

"I mean, an engagement ring. When a man proposes, he's supposed to give the woman a ring...I didn't do that." Ben says, a little sheepishly.

"Ben...I loved how you proposed to me." She says, blushing at the memory of lying with him in the grass in the setting sun, bare skin pressed to bare skin when he'd asked her to be his, truly his forever. "I barely knew how an actual wedding worked, let alone a proposal. I'd have been confused if you would have tried to give me a piece of jewelry...and this ring-"

"Hunk of pipe?"

"Ring. It's perfect for me. You know that I don't wear jewelry really. I barely wear dresses. This...is perfect." She grins, and kisses the metal before holding it to his cheek. "Like you." He snorts. "You know that I'm serious Ben! I love you...you are perfect for me."

"Right." He rolls his eyes, and passes Gemma over to her. "I'm just going to pop back into the kitchen and grab what we need. I'll barely be out of sight." She nods, and starts to bounce the baby girl, and kisses her hair.

"We're going to our green spot, aren't we? We're going to your pond! You love the water, don't you Gem? Just you wait until you're older; papa swims like a fish, and he'll teach you what he knows. You'll be a little fish, yes!" Rey laughs as a bubble of spit grows between her daughter's lips. "Yes, Blub blub little fish...Good thing Finn and Poe aren't here, they'd never let you live that nickname down. They're still calling you little Princess...but that's growing on me. You are sort of a princess... a princess of Alderaan. Grandma tells me that you still get the title. Can you imagine? The daughter of a scavenger is a princess. They'd never believe this back on Jakku."

" _You know, if you want to start delving into the royal family traditions, you married the Prince of Alderaan, and that makes you a princess."_ Ben's bemused voice sounds in her head.

" _I...never thought of that."_ She blinks and shakes her head.

" _So, don't ever call yourself a mere scavenger again, Princess."_ Leia had told her that Han used to tease her and call her Princess. Use it as an insult. But the way Ben said it made her tingle with joy; his voice so full of worship and adoration. Yes, she was a scavenger, but she was a princess too. And she had a last name. " _Mrs. Solo."_

" _Someday, I'm going to get really tired of the fact that you can hear my every thought."_

" _No you won't."_

" _So sure of yourself."_

" _No. Just sure of us."_ When he made comments like that, Rey wanted to jump him, wrap her legs around him and kiss him until- " _Rey, you're holding our daughter."_

" _She can't hear."_ Rey blushes shamefully nonetheless. It wasn't the time for thoughts like those. No, today was for family...but tonight...She hears him sigh in exasperation as she visualizes what she'd like him to do to her later, and then he almost growls when she shows how she'd repay him.

" _It's been almost two months- you are playing with fire."_ He cautions.

" _Good."_ He emerges from the kitchen with a bag full of food, and takes her hand. "What did you get for us?"

"You'll see." He smirks- that beautiful heart stopping smirk of his that he knows drives her crazy.

" _It's been almost two months. You're playing with fire."_ She repeats his warning, which turns his smirk into a full blown smile. She gets more and more of those these days. "Oh, I told Eloriah that we'd have dinner with her and Poe the day after tomorrow."

"Is he finally back from Coruscant?"

"Any time now. She's very excited." Rey smiles. "She wanted us to join them tonight, but I thought it'd be better to give them some...alone time."

"Wise." He muses.

"I thought so." They walk in silence to their clearing, or in as much silence as they ever had. Their thoughts flowed between them like water, now that the bond remained open. When they arrive in their clearing, Rey sinks down onto the grass, and he sits close at her side. "Alright, what did you bring me?" She asks, and he reaches into the bag and pulls out a package of fresh berries and a pot of cream. The grin that takes over her face is breathtaking; or that's what Ben thinks.

"Don't worry Gem, I remembered you too."

"Pureed jogan fruit- your favorite Gem!" The baby just gurgles in response. They eat their fruit and cream while Ben carefully spoons the mashed purple fruit into Gemma's mouth, but no matter how hard he tries, some still ends up on her face. It makes Rey laugh, especially when a mouthful and then a spoonful flies onto Ben's shirt. She stops laughing when he shrugs and peels it off. She shakes her head to try to snap out of the trance, but she's utterly distracted. Sensing this, he scoops Gemma up, and brings her to the edge of the pond, discarding her shoes on the way so that he can gently dip her toes in the water. Her daughter's delighted squeal does go a long way to bringing her around. She kicks off her shoes, and runs after them, tickling her daughter, and gently splashing her, and by proximity, Ben.

They play in the water and revel in Gemma's joy, taking turns holding her and letting her wiggle her little legs in the water, eating more food that Ben had brought for them, and laying in the sunlight with her slumbering form between them after she's played for hours in the sun and water. She listens in delight as he hums softly, something he only does when he's with Gemma. It's a low, rumbling sound, beautiful and masculine, comforting, safe.

"She's so big." Rey observes, her voice hardly more than a whisper. "Soon she'll be walking...talking…"

"Not too soon." He insists, shaking his head.

"Sooner than I'd like." Rey sighs. "She's so beautiful...I can't believe how much hair she already has! Eloriah told me it was longer than she'd ever seen on a baby this old. Such pretty curls...I never want to cut them! But they are already quite unruly...like someone else I know."

"I wasn't going to say anything, but your hair does tend to be a mess." He says dryly, and she tosses a berry at his face. Annoyingly, he catches it in his teeth.

"Ha, ha." She rolls her eyes, and stands up. She settles next to him, resting her head against his bared chest, and draping an arm over his muscular waist. He kisses her, and it tastes of berries. "I'm so glad we have her."

"So am I." They walk slowly back to the base as the sun sets, where Leia has already offered, and insisted on taking the baby for the night. She'd only gotten back from Coruscant three days ago, and was feeling, as she put it, " _In need of some Gemma General bonding time."._ They hadn't put up much of a fight.

"If you need us for anything- if she needs anything-"

"I know, Ben. You'll be just down the hall." Leia says, kissing her granddaughter, and reaching out a hand to her son. "You don't have to feel guilty for leaving her with me. I'm a grandmother, I want to spend time with my grandchild, and she's pretty fond of me too. Spend time with your wife. Maker knows you've earned it."

"Thank you, mother." He says, and she gives him a dubious look. "Mom. thank you, Mom."

"That's better." Leia grins. "Come on Gemma, Grandma brought you some new dresses on Coruscant, and I think we're going to play dress up."

"Still a princess at heart, I see." Ben says.

"There's nothing wrong with having multiple interests. I'm better than you with a blaster, and I like to wear jewelry and buy dresses with ruffles for my grandbaby." Leia shrugs, and steps back into her room. "Goodnight kids. Enjoy yourselves." Ben looks around, and scoops her up in his arms in one fluid motion. She puts her arms around his neck.

"Ben! You're supposed to be taking it easy!" She scolds.

"I am- how much do you think you weigh? You're hardly heavier than Gemma."

"That's definitely an exaggeration."

"Maybe a little." He admits with a shrug as she twists to open their door. He's kissing her deeply before the door has even closed behind them. They go slow- after two months, she hadn't expected that. She'd expected quick, desperate, even a bit rough. But it's sweet, full of long, lingering kisses, gentle caresses, and declarations of love breathed in each others ears. She curls around him when they're finished, keeping him close, threading her fingers through his hair. She kisses his swollen lips, and smiles at him. "You're the most beautiful woman in the galaxy."

"And I'm yours." She says, and he flips her onto her back. "Only yours. Forever."

"Mine." his voice is colored with more awe than possessiveness. "Mine." She lays a hand on his chest, feeling his heartbeat beneath her fingers.

"Mine."


	59. Chapter 59: According To Plan

_**AN: Hello dear readers! A pretty long chapter coming your way! I won't lie to you, the action (As in lightsaber duels and smashing sith lords) Is pretty much over. The rest of the story sort of just focuses on Rey and Ben settling into a "normal" life together and facing smaller challenges, with lots of fluff along the way because I obviously love the fluff. So if you're only here for fights and stuff, This may not be your cup of tea. But if you want some hella cute Reylo fluff, welcome, you've come to exactly the right place!**_

She has to be mistaken.

That's what she thinks when she starts to feel it again.

She has the implant. It's supposed to last six months...and yet…

Ben isn't even on the planet: after two months he finally relented and gone to Coruscant with his mother for the last of the major trials. He'd insisted Rey stay behind with Gemma. He didn't want them anywhere near the former Generals and fanatics of the First Order, even if they were powerless now. He went so far as to block the bond between them when he was at the trials. She takes advantage of this to visit the Med unit.

"Rey! What are you doing here?" Eloriah asks, rising from her desk to hug her, and tweak Gemma's cheek. Rey hands her over, and Eloriah starts bouncing her on her hip. "Not that I'm not glad to see you- how is everything? How's Ben?"

"Ben is fine. I mean...he'd rather be home with Gemma and I, but he's glad it's ending." Rey says, fiddling with the hem of her tan tunic.

"What's wrong? Something's troubling you." Eloriah observes.

"The Implants are good for six months?"

"Yes?" Eloriah asked.

"So mine should be functioning for another two months?"

"Yes?"

"How often do they fail?"

"Well they're ninety eight percent- oh!" Eloriah's brow wrinkles.

"Oh." Is all she can say.

"You think you're-"

"Yes...It's...after a point, my force signature changes; it gets stronger immediately, but it's...it's a lot stronger now. I thought maybe it was an effect of the bond being open, but now that Ben's not with me...It's still strong. Stronger than mine." Rey explains. Eloriah hands Gemma over again, and Rey takes a seat on one of the chairs.

"We'll do a blood test." Eloriah says, already grabbing equipment. "I can remove the implant, and we can see if it's defective somehow." Rey just nods, and holds her daughter close, smelling the sweet crown of her head. She deftly holds out her arm, and doesn't react to the needle. She watches with blank eyes as Eloriah scribbles notes on the vial.

"Can- could we keep this anonymous? Too much of the base knows our business as it is." Rey says.

"Of course. No problem." Eloriah nods and leaves for a moment before reappearing. They pull the implant and she brings over a scope to look at it. "Hm."

"What?"

"The mechanics of it are off- like it was...fried?" Eloriah observes, looking at it intently. "But that's not possible- the amount of energy it would take to fry one of these would be- The electrical current would have to be-"

"As strong as force lightning?" Rey asks.

"Well...Yes, probably." Eloriah admits. "I'm so sorry- I should have thought about how your injuries would have affected the chip."

"You can't blame yourself, Eloriah. We were all preoccupied." Rey shakes her head.

"Yes, but this is my specialty. Babies, mothers, by extension, birth control- I should have thought about it. I should have checked it. It's just...well, so far as I know, you're the only woman on the implant who's ever been hit by force lightning."

"At least I'm the only one who's lived to tell the tale." Rey sighs.

"There were so many things to think about when you came back; your internal organs, nerve endings, your concussions, and then there were all of the burns and flesh wounds-"

"Eloriah, I wouldn't have taken time to think of a birth control implant either. I know I was in bad shape when I came back from Jakku." Rey assures her.

"Well...this doesn't mean anything. People go without implants and avoid conceptions all the time. We just have to wait for the bloodwork." Eloriah says. Rey nods, but she can feel it. She knows.

She's pregnant.

"Would it...be so bad if you were?" Eloriah asks. "I mean, It is less than a year out from Gemma's brith, I know, but you and Ben are in a stable place...there's peace. You love each other- Gemma is proof that you two make pretty cute kids."

"It wouldn't...it wouldn't be so bad, no. Ben and I...we always talked about having another." Rey nods, and looks down at Gemma, who is chewing gummily on a toy Leia had brought her on her last return. "The timing...isn't ideal." She says, excusing her lack of enthusiasm. Truly, she's afraid of how Ben will react. Her mind drifts to the night before his departure, when Ben had had the dream and spoken words that shook her.

 _It had been a manifestation of the grief he had felt for Gemma's loss of force sensitivity. The pain of it, the fear of ruining her, the primal fear that she would resent him, hate him. He'd woken, and thinking her still asleep, had gone to Gemma's cradle, holding her and swaying as he spoke to her in his rich, sleep thick voice._

" _Couldn't sleep? No, I couldn't either. Be quiet though. We dont want to wake your mom. You're growing more beautiful every day, you know that? You're just like your mother...my beautiful girls. I...I'm so sorry." his voice had broken, and it had made Rey want to shake off her mantle of sleep and go to him, but she was frozen. "I made so many mistakes before you- before your mother...and even after your mother. And those mistakes are what led to this. I have always ruined things. I should have known I'd ruin your light...I will never be able to make it up to you. I know that. You see...the truth is, I never deserved you...and now I've stolen your light. Your mother...she wants more children, but how could I ever explain to you why they have something that you don't? You'll hate me...will you hate them too? I hope...I hope you're the only one. You could be happy as an only child, couldn't you? We'd never let you feel unloved, or lonely. And you are more than I deserve." His thoughts grow more desperate. He thanks the maker for her implant, and wonders if there's one he could get too. It becomes too much, and she shakes off the last of her feigned sleep, and sits up slowly. "Did we wake you?" he asks, his voice nearly panicked, though he tries to keep it calm._

" _No. Did she wake you?" Rey asks, trying to keep her voice even and tired._

" _Yes." He's lying to her, and it makes her heart ache. "What's wrong? Did you have a nightmare?" He comes to the bed, still holding their daughter, and sits beside her. She leans into his shoulder, and runs her hand over the smooth skin of his bicep. His mind flashes to previous nightmares that she had had. All about losing him and Gemma. "It's okay. I'm here. We're here."_

" _I know. I know." She nods, breathing in his scent, and looking down at the girl in his arms. She's so content there, listening to his heartbeat, his strong arms sheltering her from the world. She kisses his shoulder, and looks at their daughter. If he can't bear to have more children, then so be it. She had him. She had their girl. She had a family. It was more than she had ever expected to have. If this was all she was fated to have...well, it couldn't be so bad._

 _But after he left, she cried tears for the children that would never be._

As if to assert their presence, a surge of light travels through her veins, radiating from her womb. She wonders if Ben can feel it too- he had the first time. Would he recognize it for what it was this time? What would he do if he did?

Would he ask her to get rid of it?

She shakes off the thought. He wouldnt do that to her. And she could never do that to her child- to his child. A part of him. No, she'd never hurt any part of him. And he would never hurt something that was a piece of her.

"Rey?" Eloriah says, looking up from her tablet, which had begun to ping at an annoying rate. "They've finished the bloodwork. It's positive."

"I know." Rey nods, holding her daughter even nearer to her body.

"If you want, I could get you all set up now for your first appointment, or- Maybe you should reach for Ben? You look...pale." Eloriah kneels by her chair. "Are you alright?"

"Yes, I...I do. I am." She stammers.

"Would you...like me to take Gemma for a little while? I just...I know you like to meditate, when faced with news." Eloriah offers.

"Y-yes. I would. Thank you." Rey kisses Gemma, and passes her over to Eloriah.

"It's no problem. Poe will be done with his maintenance soon. He says he can get Gem to laugh more times than me."

"What did you say?"

"That he was probably right, because he was generally more funny looking." Eloriah shrugs, and Rey cracks a smile.

"I'll be back soon." Rey promises as she strokes her daughter's cheek. "If you need anything at all-"

"Then I know where to find you. Go on. Every mother deserves rest. You've been without Ben or Leia for almost a week. Taking an hour, or even two or three doesn't make you a bad mother. Don't worry. I'll feed her her lunch- She still likes Jogan fruit?" Rey nods. "Then our first stop is the mess hall." Rey smiles gratefully at her, and slips out of the med unit quickly, running through the halls, not caring about the thoughts of the people she passed by. Her only thought is that she has to run. Not from, or to anything. She just has to run. The air outside of the base is colder now, but it doesn't bother her. It feels good against her overheated flesh. She keeps running until her legs start to burn- only then does she sit, and then leans back against the grass. ANd only then does she feel Ben back in her mind. She hastily forms a protective force barrier around her womb, masking the new force signature with her own.

" _The trial is over?"_ She asks, trying to even out her breathing.

" _For today. Have you been running?"_ She feels his force presence going through her muscles, finding her legs stiff and sore.

" _What gave me away?"_ She asks dryly.

" _Tell me what's bothering you."_ He says after a moment of silence.

" _It's nothing."_

" _That's a lie."_

" _We agreed that some things are better discussed face to face."_

" _I'm coming home."_ She senses the flurry of activity around him as he throws his few things into his bag.

" _Ben- your mother- she needs you to be there."_ She protests weakly.

" _You need me to be with you."_ He says surely. She bites her lip- it's selfish, so selfish to want him to hold her right now, when he needs to help his mother. Help the people. " _It's not selfish, Rey. You're my wife. My first loyalty is to you, to our family. I'm coming home. No arguing."_

" _...Thank you."_ She says softly, a weight lifting from her chest.

" _You don't have to thank me for doing this. I promised to be a good husband to you. I love you."_ He says, sending a wave of his love to wash over her and calm her. " _Are you sure you won't just talk to me?"_

" _I will, when you come home."_ She insists.

" _Okay."_ He relents uneasily. " _I just sent a message to my mother. I'll be home in four hours."_

" _I'll be here."_ She says softly. She can almost feel his fingers dancing across her cheek, tucking hair behind her ear. His force presence becomes less predominate then as he focuses his attention on the task at hand. She sits up, tucking her legs under each other, and breathes in the light. It calms her, and reassures her.

" _You're troubled about the child."_ Her eyes fly open, and she sees Anakin sitting across from her. Her eyes grow wide and he waves off her concern. " _Don't worry. He can't hear us."_

"Yes. I am." She admits. "He doesn't want it."

" _How do you know?"_

"I heard him talking to Gemma...He doesn't want more children."

" _Doesn't want them, or is afraid to have them?"_

"Why should he be afraid? Snoke is gone- there is more peace now than there has been in a hundred years. And Ben is an excellent father."

" _You know the depth of guilt he feels for what happened to Gemma."_

"That wasn't his fault!"

" _No. But Ben feels things deeply. He got that from my side of the family."_ Anakin admits. " _The Force has always been a major aspect of Ben's life. He has always been strong with it. More powerful than me- though, don't tell him I said that. The only higher force signature ever seen was Gemma's. She was hope for him. Hope that he could create something good. I'm afraid this turn of events just convinced him that he was a destroyer."_

"That isn't fair! He's done so much good now...and Gemma is not destroyed! She's alive and thriving and beautiful!"

" _She is. But you've lived without the force before, Rey. Ben hasn't really. He can't quite imagine life without it. And you- could you imagine what it would be like if you were to lose your grip on it now?"_

"It would be terrible." She admits, biting her lip. "But Gemma… She's only an infant. She would hardly remember the force!"

" _It's not totally gone, you know. I can still feel her."_

"Can you?!" Rey gasps. "How- Ben and I- even Luke couldn't sense her beyond what was usual in a lifeform."

" _You'll have to see that I'm a bit more connected to the force than you are."_ He says, an edge of humor in his voice. " _It's not much. A flicker of light. Barely perceptible. But there were Jedi who started with only a she is older, with training, she will very possibly regain her abilities."_

"Luke said that-"

" _Just because he's my son doesn't mean he's all knowing. When it comes to the force, not evenI understand all the mysteries of it. But I've discussed this with the other masters. They Are of the same opinion that I have."_

"If she could regain even an inkling of what she once had…"

" _It would go a long way healing the wounded soul of my grandson. Which is why he will be the one to train her."_

"To make amends?"

" _In his way."_

"But that is years away- how will that help him to come to terms with this child?" Rey asks, her hand floating to her stomach.

" _Because his greatest fear is resentment. If all of the children have force powers, there's no fear of resentment."_

"But there's no guarantee that any children we had would be force sensitive."

" _No. But it would be almost impossible for a child born of you and Ben to have no inkling of the force at all. I'll do everything I can to amplify the glimmer of force left in Gemma. You know that he will need to feel it for himself."_

"That is his way." She almost smiles.

" _I sense your concerns. But in your heart, you know that Ben would never truly be disappointed to have another child by you. He loves Gemma too much for that. He loves you too much for that."_

"You loved someone once."

" _Yes. Padme."_ HIs voice takes on a far away quality. " _I was the one who ruined that. The darkness...the hatred...it broke her heart. It killed her. I did it. Ben was so close to going down the same path...idolizing my mistakes. His grandmother...she would have been heartbroken again, like my daughter was. My poor children…I love them now, the way I couldn't when I was alive. The way their mother would have wanted me to."_

"Leia showed me a holo of her mother. She was very beautiful."

" _She was. Leia took after her. And you remind me of her too. Strong, brilliant, doesn't put up with nonsense. You're exactly what Ben needs."_

"I hope so."

" _I know it. He'll be landing soon. I'll direct him to Gemma first, say there's something he needs to observe in her."_

"Thank you...you have been very helpful, to me and Ben."

" _Well, I had to become the man I should have been at some point. Obi-wan, my old master, says it's better late than never. There's been enough strife in the galaxy caused by my bloodline."_

"That's true enough."

" _You should probably start walking back to the base, if you want to be there when my grandson lands."_ He suggests.

"Yes, of course. Thank you." He fades, and she pulls herself up. She feels out with the force to try to figure out her current location. She turns herself back to the base and runs.

She feels him reaching out for her through the force, but something stops him. Rather, someone. Rey feels it too; the glimmer of light from inside the base. His trajectory changes as he feels it, his curiosity and disbelief flying across the bond.

" _Who...do you feel that?"_ he asks. She nods, knowing he'll feel it. He's closing in on the source, and she's getting closer to him. " _It feels like...but that's impossible? She doesn't...shes not…"_ Rey's feet move faster. She can see it through his eyes as he finds Poe and Eloriah, and takes Gemma into his arms without saying a word to either of them. Gemma's hand rises to his cheek, and he presses it with his own large hand. She makes it into the rec room just in time to hear Ben laughing; a jubilant, joyful, hopeful sound.

"What's going on?" Poe asks when he catches sight of Rey. "Did your husband finally snap, or?"

"Rey! You feel it too, don't you?" Ben closes the space between them in three long strides. She puts her hand on her daughter's back and smiles. Anakin had done well, the force signature of her child had risen significantly, or at least, it was more noticable. "You do, don't you?" he asks, almost begging her.

"Yes."

"Feels what? What the hell is going on?" Poe asks.

"Language!" Eloriah says softly, gesturing to the baby girl.

"It's a weak glimmer, but it's prominent." Ben says, closing his eyes and reaching through the force. Rey does the same.

"It's weaker than your mother's...but stronger than anyone else on base, other than yours and mine." Rey nods.

"Grandfather told me...he said that I had to see Gemma...he told me that the connection wasn't gone. That time was healing it, that she can gain something back."

"She can. And she will. You'll teach her." Rey insists, opening her eyes.

"I don't get it." Poe says.

"The force, Poe. She's still got it." Rey explains, watching as her husband kisses their daughter's curly hair.

"I thought she lost it healing-"

"So did we."

"Then how-"

"The Force isn't always for us to understand." Rey shrugs. "Thank you both for looking after her for a while."

"No trouble. Watching the little princess is always fun." Poe shrugs. Rey smiles at him, and takes Ben's hand as they walk out of the rec room, towards their own compartment. They don't speak; all of his energy has been focused on Gemma, and the hope he feels as her little fingers curl and uncurl in the fabric of his tunic. In their compartment, Ben stares at her as she yawns and curls into his chest, her eyelids fluttering shut.

"I didn't ruin it for her. She's okay- she'll be okay." He says, more to himself than to Rey. "Not that being without the force ruined her, she has always been perfect, but now...I didn't take her birth right- she can work with this, _this_ can grow into so much more!" Rey smiles as she carefully takes Gemma from him and goes to lay her in her crib. She brushes back a few tendrils of dark hair as she tucks her in. Ben radiates pure joy as he comes up behind her, and wraps his arms around her, his hands settling on her stomach. She stiffens in his hold, and curses silently as she feels his confusion. Slowly, he turns her to face him, and meets her eyes. "This wasn't what you wanted to talk about." it's not a question, but she shakes her head anyways. "You're hiding something from me."

"Come on." she gently pulls on his hand, leading him through the open fresher door. She shuts it behind them, and turns to face him. "Before you left two weeks ago, I...I overheard you talking to Gemma. After you had that nightmare."

"Oh." he sighs, and rakes his hand through his hair.

"And then you lied to me."

"I didn't-"

"Lying by omission is still lying, Ben." she says, fighting to keep her voice even.

"I'm sorry." he says, his face flushing with shame. "I know that we agreed to discuss everything, to have no secrets. But how could I tell you what I was feeling? When I knew what you wanted in the future- how could I face you and admit reluctance to give it to you, when I'd promised to give you anything and everything?"

"Ben, you should have trusted me to understand how you felt. I would have- I did, obviously. I was resigned to what you wanted, because I wanted you to be happy!" she throws her hands up in exasperation.

"Rey…"

"I'm not angry. I'm sorry. I want to understand how you feel, Ben. can you explain it to me? Please." she asks, taking a step towards him and clasping his hand. He wraps his fingers around hers and kisses her fingers adoringly. "Was this all because Gemma lost her force sensitivity? Or was there something else?"

"What else would it have been?" He asks, cocking his head to the side. She looks down at her feet, and twists the fabric of her tunic between her fingertips. "What- Rey- no. You can't possibly think… after all of this time together, how could you possibly think that this had to do with you?" She still doesn't meet his eyes, and he tilts her face up with his hand. "Any man would be a fool not to want a family with you. The child that we do have...our Gemma Bey...she's perfection. You are perfection." He whispers, his forehead resting against hers. His hand rests gently against her cheek, and she tilts her face forward just enough to press her lips to his. "All of this was two weeks ago. This isn't what was bothering you today. Not fully."

"No." She shakes her head.

"What's wrong? You're so tense...and you're hiding something from me." He says, caressing her cheek softly.

"How do you feel now?" She asks, grabbing hold of his wrist and meeting his eyes. "About our family- about children? Are you still...do you hate the idea of another?"

"Now- I never hated the idea of another child by you." He says, shaking his head. "I was only afraid of what another force sensitive child would mean to Gemma, what sort of feelings it would wrought. To have a sibling that had something that should have been hers as well…"

"You wanted to go so far as to get an implant without telling me so that you'd never father another child, and I'd never have to know why...I would have thought it was my fault, you know. I would have thought that I was incapable of bearing another child, since Gemma was such a miracle to begin with." Rey says, a slight accusatory tone coloring her voice.

"That was wrong, I know. BUt you have to know that I could never have done it without telling you. Eventually I would have. You have to know." He says earnestly, and she nods slowly. "What's going on, Rey? What are you hiding?" she can feel him fighting the tendrils of betrayal and fear. She takes a step away from him, and lets out a shaking breath. "You went to the med unit today?" He asks, peeking into her thoughts. "Rey- whatever it is- whatever is wrong, you and I have faced much worse and survived. Please, you have to tell me what it is."

She lets out a long breath, and undoes the buttons of her tunic, letting it fall to the ground. She maintains eye contact with him, noting his growing confusion. Slowly, she unweaves the the shield of her force signature from around her womb, until she feels the flickering. His brow furrows, and she drops the last of it, letting the light reach out around her. She watches Ben's face as it reaches him, and he falls slowly to his knees before her. His hand raises slowly, trembling as he hesitates with his palm a few inches from the still flat skin of her abdomen.

"You have...This is...it's my…" She can't help but smile at the look of awe on his face. He looks up at her, his eyes full of question.

"You don't have to ask to touch your own child." She whispers, taking his hand and placing it on her stomach. They both gasp as the child's light leaps across their force bond as if in greeting. They both know that the child recognizes them easily.

 _Father. Mother._

"The implant was fried on Jakku. Force lightning." She explains, answering his unasked question.

"How long have you known?"

"I've suspected since you left. It's hard to think of another explanation for this much light. I thought it was impossible- The implant was supposed to function for two more months. I finally went to the med unit today, to have bloodwork done, but I was already quite certain."

"You've kept this to yourself for two weeks?" He asks, and she nods.

"That's nothing. Last time I kept it for seven months." She tries to tease him, but it does nothing to lighten the mood. She feels the betrayal flood through him like blood, and she pushes her own thoughts through his mind again, letting him feel her every thought she had had since she had suspected her pregnancy.

"You thought that I didn't want it. That I would ask you to get rid of it." He nods in understanding, but the hurt is clear in his voice. "You were afraid of my reaction. Of me."

"No- no, Ben, never afraid of you. Never." She grabs his face in her hands. "And that was a fleeting thought. A thought I was ashamed to have had in the first place." He nods. "I...how do you feel? Ben? Are you angry?"

"Well...It'd be a little ridiculous if I was angry with you about something I definitely had an equal part in." he smirks, and relief flows through her.

"It's not ideal, I know. I would have rather waited until Gem was a little older, but they're here now." She says, and he places his hands on her hips, and presses his lips to her stomach before rising to his feet to kiss her lips.

"Maybe it's not ideal. But it's the will of the force. And I could never say that I didn't want another child by you. How could I when Gemma is everything that she is?" He asks, running his fingers through her hair. "I love you."

"I love you." She nods, and he kisses her again. "We'll have to move compartments. We won't be able to fit the three of us and a new child in here." He smirks and cradles her face in his hands. "What?"

"I have something else in mind. I'm a little tired of living in compartments, and on ships. I haven't had a real home since I was ten." He says, and she tilts her head to the side.

"Okay?"

"Well, I did promise I was going to take you somewhere green."

"Really? Do you mean it?" She asks, barely able to contain her excitement as she visualizes their own home, a house, with wooden floors and carpeting, stone walls, and doors with door knobs. Things she'd never had. Things she desperately wanted. A yard covered in grass where Gemma would run out to play when she was older. Gemma and the new baby. Lakes where Ben would teach them how to swim.

"I don't break my promises." He says, reaching down to put his hand on her stomach again.

"Where will we go?" She asks.

"There's actually a place where I already own a house." He admits, and she frowns. "No, it has nothing to do with the First Order. I actually haven't been there since I was a child. Technically the house was my mother's, but she gave it to me when we got married."

"I thought your mother's homeworld was destroyed?"

"It was. But her mother, her real mother, her family home was left to her by an aunt when it was revealed that she really was the child of her sister that had long been thought dead." Ben explains.

"Where is it?" She asks, reaching up and twining her fingers through his hair. He smiles softly, and presses a soft kiss to her temple.

"Have you ever heard of Naboo?"


	60. Chapter 60: Naboo

**_AN: Hello gorgeous reader friends! Here's another chapter for you! I hope you're ready for some super cute fluff, because you're going to get it right now!_**

"It's so beautiful!" Rey gasps, grabbing excitedly onto Ben's hand as she bounces Gemma in her other arm. "Gemma, do you see that? Do you see it? This is where we're going to live. We're going to have a house." Gemma giggles and clasps at her collar.

Naboo was beautiful beyond what she'd ever dreamed. Green and lush, lakes, rivers, waterfalls everywhere. And the house itself was beautiful; large, white marble walls, and columns, balconies and stained glass windows. They weren't even inside yet; they'd only just landed on the Falcon, and she couldn't stop staring out the window.

"Come on." He says, pulling her down the ramp. She can't help but bounce a little bit as her feet touch the grass. He revels in her joy for a moment, and then takes her hand and pulls her towards the door. "Close your eyes." He says, and she listens. She hears the door open and lets him lead her through it. He pulls her further into the house, and she finally can't take it anymore.

"Ben!" She giggles, adjusting Gemma on her hip. "Can I look now? Please?"

"Just one second." He says, bringing her through another room. "Okay. Go ahead."

"Oh!" She gasps as her eyes open. Lights are shining through the stained glass ceiling on the marble floors, painting the room in glorious colors. The walls are lined with plants, and flowers crawling up trellises, and a small fountain is sticking out of one wall. She steps even further into the room, running her fingers along a clean white sofa. "So beautiful...so peaceful."

"It's the solarium. It was the first thing I wanted you to see...I knew you'd like it." He says softly, watching her with a satisfied air. "And it's yours. You can do whatever you want with it. If you want to grow some other plants, or redecorate it, you can. The space is yours, entirely."

"It's...mine?" She asks, slowly rotating and looking at it. "You're giving me this room? This...beautiful room?"

"I'm giving you the whole house, really." He chuckles. "But I know that you love flowers and plants...so…"

"You hired a gardener to make sure it was ready for when we got here." Rey smiles at him. "Ben...oh, my Ben." She smiles and kisses him. "You're so sweet."

"You're probably the only person in the galaxy who would call me sweet." He smirks.

"Then I'm the only person in the galaxy who really knows you." She says softly. "What do you think Gem? Do you like it here? You want to explore?" She sinks to her knees, and holds her daughter under her arms, letting her bounce gently. Ben sinks down to his knee across from them, a wide smile on his face.

"Look at my girls." He says, reaching out his long arms to grab onto his daughter, and swinging her into the air to kiss her cheek before he assumes the same pose Rey had, letting their daughter's feet rest against the floor. One foot and then the other rises as she attempts to discover the secret to walking.

"She'll have it figured out one of these days. She's always been ahead of other babies." Rey says proudly. "Isn't that right Gem?" She babbles back in reply, sounds almost like real words passing her pretty shell pink lips. "We'll teach you how to walk and talk here. How to swim and how to read." Rey reaches out her arm, and Gemma gently pushes herself forward on shaky legs. "Let go." Rey says, and Ben obliges slowly, though his hands hover protectively at her sides, ready to catch her at the first sign of trouble. But Gemma takes a hesitant step, tilting a bit too far to the left, but managing to remain upright as she ends up in her mother's arms. Rey lifts her above her head, and blows a raspberry against her belly. "Brilliant! Yes! That's mama's brilliant girl!"

"Incredible." Ben says softly. They spend the next two hours on the floor of the solarium, Gemma attempting to toddle between them, more times than not ending up falling on her rear, but that did nothing to keep the suddenly determined little girl from from trying again, and again. It's only when Rey's stomach starts to growl audibly that they realize how long they've been there. "I was going to give you both a grand tour. But I think we'd better start in the kitchens." He scoops Gemma up first, and then helps Rey off of the floor.

"It's not my fault. The baby is hungry." Rey insists. "She's always hungry."

"She?" Ben asks, leading her from the room. "I thought you wanted the next one to be a boy."

"I don't know. I may have. But I have a feeling. A strong feeling. I never had that with Gemma." Rey says, running her hand over her stomach. According to Eloriah's tests, She was three months along now, and already her stomach was starting to swell. Eloriah told her that was normal the second time around.

"I had the same feeling." He admits, his eyes flickering to her stomach. "I didn't say anything-"

"Because you were worried I'd be upset if it wasn't a boy." Rey nods. "No, I'm not. Maybe it's a good thing. I always wanted a sister when I was growing up. Someone to talk to, to help with my hair. Just a best friend. Maybe that's what this baby will be for Gemma."

"They'll love each other." Ben says surely. "They already feel each other. But you already know that."

"I do." Rey grins. She had noticed that when Gemma giggled, the force presence growing in her would reach out curiously, trying to locate the source of the sound. When Gemma noticed it, she'd look curiously at her mother, as if she was trying to see something more, and Rey knew that she was. They were sisters, bonded already. "We're going to look really stupid if this ends up being a boy."

"But it wont." Ben says.

"Yeah, I know."

…..

"I'm glad we brought C3PO with us." Rey says as Ben sits down beside her on the blanket he'd spread out over the grass. He grumbles, but she rolls onto her side and rests her hand on his chest. "I know you don't love him, but he is good at looking after Gemma. If we didn't have him, we couldn't just come out here." She gestures to the sky, covered in stars.

"Yeah. I guess you're right." He smiles, wrapping her in his arms. "Though, she is sleeping. How hard is it to look after her?"

"Just shut up and kiss me." She laughs, and he happily obliges.

"So, what do you think?" He asks, pulling back to look at her.

"Of our somewhere green?" She asks, and he nods. "Ben...it's perfect. It's everything- and more than I ever imagined I'd have."

"It's not as much as you deserve." He insists as her leg comes over his hips, and she leans into him, kissing him again. "You're so beautiful."

"Sure." She laughs and sits up, and his hands come to her stomach. "I'm only going to get fatter from here, you know."

"Yeah, I remember." He smirks and sits up, his mind flooding with images of her while she was heavily pregnant with Gemma. Intimate images, flushed skin, open mouthed kisses, and clashed teeth.

"How can you possibly like that?" She asks.

"Seriously?" He asks, running his hands to her hips. "This…" He says, leaning down to kiss her stomach. "This is a baby we made together, we made her out of our love, Rey. And it's extremely sexy." He smiles, and she blushes.

"Ben?" She says, laying down next to him again.

"Yes?"

"I love it here. I love you." She says, holding him closer. She looks around at the landscape, beautiful hills and a lake right next to them. In the daylight the meadow that they were laying in was covered in flowers, but by night, it was bathed in moonlight. They were far enough from the house and the lights that they could see every star. He rolls so that his body is pressed against hers, and she gasps as his hands make contact with her over sensitive breasts. "Ben!"

"I did tell you that I was going to make love to you in the grass." He whispers against her neck, and his lips trace down to her throat. "Under the stars…" His whisper rumbles against her skin and her back arches. He smiles against her skin and she can't help but writhe.

"Is this real?" She asks. "All of this, you and me, this house, our family?"

"I promise you it is." he says, kissing her deeply. She buries her fingers in his hair and pulls him closer to her. Her legs hitch around his hips, and he groans, a sound that always drove her wild.

"I love you. I love you so much." She gasps, eagerly unbuttoning his simple gray tunic and biting his chest. He rolls onto his back, dragging her with him, and she peels off her shirt. "You know, you'd think that after a while, it would be easier to resist your charms- that I shouldn't possibly want you as much as I always do. But I do- maker I do!" Her hips grind against his, and he trails open mouthed kisses across her still bound chest.

"Good. I must be doing something right." She hears the smugness in his voice, but she can't bring herself to chastise him, not when his mouth and his hands are doing the things they're doing. She swivels her hips the way she knows will drive him crazy, and he moans against her skin, sending a thrill across her body. He almost rips the rest of her clothes in his haste to remove them, and she couldn't bring herself to care even if he had.

She can hardly think, the pleasure is so intense as he joins with her fully, filling her again and again. He sets a slow pace that she meets as she kisses him deeply, but soon it isn't enough. Suddenly she's on her back again, one leg slung over his shoulder, and he has to kiss her to swallow the scream of pleasure that releases from her throat. She feels the waves of his love for her flying through her system, and she sends hers back to him.

"Ben…" She moans, tossing her head back against the grass and his lips lock on her throat. The adoration that he feels for her is overwhelming, and she clings to him as she calls out his name and shudders against him. When he follows her over the edge, he kisses her tenderly, and brushes her hair out of her eyes. "We're going to be happy here, aren't we?" She asks, running her hands over his chest.

"Yes, we are." He smiles at her.

"We'll be happy anywhere we are together." She says surely.

"Yeah." He kisses her.

"Yeah."


	61. Chapter 61: One Year

_**AN: Hello my dear readers! I'm so sorry it's been so long since I updated! I was just finishing up a very successful two week run of a musical, which was delightful, but kept me very busy and tired! But I'm back now, with several more chapters about our favorite Beloved family! Thank you for waiting!**_

Her first real word is papa, and Ben is absolutely glowing with joy.

"That's my girl!" He says, tossing her into the air.

"Papa!" She squeals, her hands grabbing at his too big ears.

"Of course she'd say your name first- I'm the one who pushed her out of my body, and has spent hours feeding her with my breasts, but your name she says." Rey laughs, rolling her eyes, and running her hands over her now well rounded stomach.

"She's a daddy's girl, she can't help it." Leia laughs as she enters the room. "One year old. Look at how much bigger she's gotten! Come here Gemma Bey, come to grandma!" She laughs, and Ben reluctantly hands her over. "I'm never going to go two months without seeing this little beauty ever again. Look at you!"

"You want to see something really good set her down and let her walk." Rey suggests, and Leia does. As soon as she's on her feet, she toddles over to her mother, who struggles to squat to pick her up.

"Mama!" Gemma laughs, and Rey gasps.

"You heard that didn't you? She called me mama- how long have you been practicing that, huh?" She asks, kissing her cheeks. "That's mama's girl! Mama's beautiful, clever girl!"

"Is everything all ready for the party?" Leia asks.

"Yeah, almost. Gosh, I can't believe you're already one." Rey says, looking at her daughter's twinkling brown eyes.

"Mama?" Gemma asks, running her hands over her mother's tear streaked cheeks. She turns her face towards her father. "Papa?"

"Don't worry Gem- mama's not sad. No, not at all. Mama just loves you so much." Rey says softly, and Gemma leans in to kiss her mother with an open mouthed kiss on the chin. "And you're just so big."

"Hey." Ben says, coming over to her, and wrapping an arm around her shoulders and brushing her tears away. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." She insists, clearing her throat. "I should um, I should go make sure the dinner is all ready. Excuse me." She kisses Gemma again, and passes her to Leia before she sweeps out of the room and moves hasitly towards the solarium. She knows he's following her, but she keeps going, and sits on the white sofa. She closes her eyes, and when they open again he's kneeling in front of her and he takes her hands.

"Rey? What's wrong?" He asks.

"Nothing. Nothing is wrong...I just...I'm thinking of everything that's happened in the last year or year and nine months I guess. So much has happened- I was a scavenger on Jakku, I was alone and I never knew where my next meal was going to come from, and I was just...waiting for a family that I always knew was never coming back for me. And now here I am, look at me- I have a house, a huge house, and friends, and a husband who I love more than anything, a beautiful one year old daughter, and another daughter on the way...I'm so happy, Ben. I'm so happy for the first time in my life, I'm so happy. And I'm just...Ben, I just keep wondering when it's going to go away." Rey says, shaking her head as she starts to cry again. "I'm sorry- I'm so sorry."

"What the hell are you apologizing for?" He asks.

"Will you promise not to leave me even though I'm acting crazy?" She asks, putting her hands on her stomach.

"Rey, you're not acting crazy." He insists, and she gives him a dubious look. "Okay, maybe just a little bit. But you're having a baby. You're allowed to get a little crazy."

"I was never like this with Gemma!" Rey shakes her head.

"You asked Eloriah about this. She said it was normal." He says softly, running his hands over her hair.

"Well I don't feel normal. I feel fat and old and ugly." She huffs.

"I can't think of three less true words to describe you." He chuckles, but his face takes on a serious quality as he catches her face in his hands. "I will never, never leave you. You could actually go crazy, and I wouldn't go. Because I love you, Rey. I love you, I love our girls, I love our life. You're never going to be alone again."

"Never alone?" She asks, her eyes flickering to his mouth.

"Never." He nods, and kisses her tenderly. "Stop feeling bad about it Rey. I don't even have to be in your head to know you're feeling guilty."

"Sorry." She shakes her head. "I'm sorry."

"Rey, you're having our baby, okay? For the thousandth time, You're allowed to be a little emotional."

"Ben Solo...What did I ever do to deserve you?" She asks.

"Rey, I'm the one who doesn't deserve you." He scoffs, and his hands fall to her stomach. "Your mother doesn't see how special she is." The baby kicks against his hand, and he smiles broadly.

"I love you." Rey smiles. "Both of you. And Gemma. Our family. I love our family. And I'm so happy, Ben! And I know my emotions just changed, drastically, but how can I be unhappy when you're so sweet, and our baby is moving? And GEmma is walking, and talking, and our whole family is together...Oh Ben…" She presses her lips to his. "I should probably get dinner organized- everyone will be here soon, and I just want everything to be perfect for her first birthday, you know?"

"It's going to be perfect, Rey." He says, kissing her softly. "Come on my love." He takes her hand and helps her up. "Do you want some ice cream?"

"No...actually, yes, I do." She says, her brow furrowing. "How do you always do that? You know what I want before I do."

"Actually, I think it's the kid." He says, and she scoffs. "What? Is that so unbelievable?"

"No, what's unbelieveable is that our kid has a stronger force bond with you than me when she's literally living inside of me." She laughs. "Another daddy's girl. Not that I can blame either of them, not when you're...you." She smiles as his thumb traces over the back of her hand. They walk towards the kitchen. "A year ago today, do you remember how it felt?" She asks.

"I was terrified." He admits.

"Yeah, I knew." She smiles almost fondly at the memory. "You were not very good at hiding it."

"You were so incredible. So determined...you had this look on your face, like I'd only ever seen in the forest on starkiller. And then you gave us this perfect little girl...and I remember just, being so afraid that I was going to ruin everything for both of you- but I also remember this moment when you both were sleeping, and I was just looking at you both, and I knew that there was nothing I wouldn't do for either of you...That was the first time in a long time it really struck me that I was more than willing to die for another human being."

"A point you almost proved." Rey says with a frown. "I'm glad I don't have to have this one on a ship. I'm glad that Ben Solo will be listed as the feather so we won't have to go through the whole ordeal of changing another birth certificate. I'm glad your mom will be able to watch Gemma while I'm having the baby…"

"And you're glad that there's no Snoke trying to get to them." He says, speaking her unuttered thought.

"Do you ever wonder- ever fear that someone else, some other darkness will rise?"

"Oh, I think it's probably a sure thing." He shrugs almost casually. "People and beings are so different, no matter how effective a form of governing is, someone is always going to rise up against it."

"I know. But I'm more afraid of another sith rising, coming after our children, even our grandchildren, one day, if we have any. Your bloodline is the obvious place to look for powerful force users." Rey says, her eyes flickering down to her stomach.

"We'll watch closely, Rey. No one knows better than me, and by extension, you, what it looks like to have darkness poison a mind. We'd be able to see it. And we'll teach our children how to defend themselves." She nods. "And it's not just my bloodline, Rey. If you hadn't noticed you're a powerful force user yourself."

"Miss Tico- it is highly unusual to enter unannounced!" 3po's voice cuts through the room before Rey can respond.

"Rey!" Rose calls, completely ignoring the droids protests and running to her friend to embrace her. "Oh my gosh! Look at you- you look so good! You're five months pregnant, you're not supposed to look this good!"

"Oh, I've missed you Rose!" Rey laughs. "Let me see the ring!" Rose holds out her hand to reveal the red stone set in a golden band. "Beautiful!"

"It's just like the one my mom had...I can't believe he remembered that. I can't believe that he's going to marry me!"

"I can't believe it either, since you left me to placate three-p-o. Seriously, I know he's a good nannybot or whatever, but maybe you have to like, loosen his circuits just like a little bit." Finn says as he enters the room, and he gives Rey a huge grin. "Hey kid."

"You've got to stop calling me that- I _have_ two kids. I'm not a kid." She rolls her eyes, but embraces him nonetheless.

"Sorry kid, nicknames stick." He shrugs, and turns to clap Ben on the shoulder. "How you doing Solo?"

"You boys go ahead and talk. Rey and I are going to go talk about you somewhere else." Rose says, and Finn scoffs.

"That's not fair- he's going to know everything you're talking about!" Finn says, pointing dramatically at Ben.

"No, because I'm going to close the bond." Rey says, and Ben smirks.

"I thought you never shut it?" Finn asks.

"Girl talk is sacred." Ben deadpans, and Rose laughs louder than anyone.

"Don't worry, we can't get into any of the really good stuff until Eloriah gets here, or else we'll just have to repeat everything." Rose says.

"Come on Finn, you can walk to the kitchen with me." Ben says.

"Oh boy, I can?" Finn says, rolling his eyes.

"My pregnant wife wants ice cream. I'd say you could go see Gemma, but it's the first time my mother has seen her in two months, so you're not likely to actually get to see her. So, You can come, or you can talk to 3po. The choice is yours." Ben shrugs.

"Can I also have ice cream?" Finn asks.

"I guess?"

"Let's go." Finn nods seriously, and Rey and Rose laugh as he waggles his eyebrows at them. Rose grabs Rey's hand and pulls her in the opposite direction.

"Just so you know, I actually have no idea where I'm leading you- this place is freaking huge!" Rose says, and Rey easily directs her to the large balcony overlooking the water. "Maker, this is so gorgeous! That's it, I'm moving to Naboo- I mean, once all of the work Finn and I are doing is actually done."

"Well you're certainly welcome." Rey smiles as she eases herself into the cushioned bench.

"I'm serious. I thought maybe I'd want to go back and settle on my home world, where I have memories with my sister, but...it's not like that's going to bring her back, you know? I can keep the memories and live somewhere beautiful. Paige and I always talked about living somewhere beautiful like this, away from mines and big cities. She'd want me somewhere like this." Rose says, leaning over the railing to get a better look at the lush greenery. "Besides, Finn misses you like crazy, but I guess the million holo chats a week probably gave that away...and what sort of dedicated auntie would I be if I wasn't here for all the big things? Yeah. We're moving to Naboo."

"I'd like that." Rey says, and winces as the baby kicks hard against her pelvis.

"Can I?" Rose asks, reaching out a hand. Rey nods, and positions the hand where she'd be most likely to feel the kicking. "What's it like?"

"What? Being pregnant?" Rose nods. "It's...weird, honestly. Less weird this time than last time I guess, since I've known what to expect, but I don't think anyone ever really gets used to the idea of having a person growing inside of them. It's exhausting, and everything hurts and it wreaks havoc on your body and your emotions, but it's also the most incredible, beautiful thing in the world. Like, here's this tiny person who is half you and half the person you love and they have their own heartbeat and they're literally a part of you. It's overwhelming, really, the love you feel for them. Does that answer your question?"

"Yeah." Rose nods, a far off look in her eye.

"Why do you ask? Are you thinking about having kids?" Rey asks, giving her a playful nudge with her elbow. Rose frowns and looks down at her shoes, a wave of sadness hitting Rey through the force. "It's okay if you aren't- I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked."

"No, no, it's fine. I might as well tell you- Eloriah already knows." Rose sighs. "I, um, I just found out that I can't...I can't actually have kids."

"Oh." Rey says, her brow furrowing.

"I mean, I never wanted kids, growing up in a world where kids were used for target practice, you know? Paige was the one who wanted kids, I never did. And I never met a guy that made me think having kids would be worth it, until…" Rose trails off and laughs a little. "Ironically, it happened right after I met Finn. Remember how I told you I got wounded saving his ass? Well, apparently the internal damage to my abdomen was worse than the doctors told me it was. To be fair, they were male doctors and general surgeons, not specialists. I had Eloriah check everything out, and well...there you go."

"Rose, I...I'm sorry." Rey says, laying a hand on her shoulder. She's suddenly hyper aware of the swell of her stomach, knowing that the woman beside her could never experience the same thing, while she was on her second child.

"Don't apologize. The fact that you're pregnant doesn't make me sad. I mean, Gemma Bey is the perfect child, the galaxy could use another kid like her." Rose shrugs. "I'm more upset for Finn than for me. He really likes kids. He never thought he'd have them, being a stormtrooper, you know, but since Gemma was born, he thought that someday he and I would maybe have one of our own."

"Does he-"

"He knows. He was with me when Eloriah gave me the results. He took it really well, but he's always trying to make everyone else feel better, you know? He doesn't like it when people are hurting."

"Yeah. He's sweet that way." Rey nods.

"I know that he and I are going to be fine. I just wish I could give him this, you know?" Rose shakes her head. The baby kicks under her hand, and she jumps. "Maker! That scared me- someone's strong! Seriously, That might bruise!"

"Tell me about it."

"Tell you about what?" Eloriah asks as 3PO opens the balcony door for her.

"Hey!" Rose calls, getting up to hug her.

"Hi!" She laughs, and comes over to hug Rey. "You're looking well- Baby seems to be growing well, but I'll have to measure to be absolutely sure."

"So practical, this one, ever the nurse." Rose laughs. "Where's Poe?"

"Intercepted by Finn, something about a strawberry ice cream emergency run into Theed?" Eloriah says curiously.

"I didn't realize I'd eaten the whole batch already!" Rey groans. "This baby- let me tell you, she wants strawberry ice cream all the time, at all hours of the day and night. I'm so sick of it, but I can't stop eating it because it tastes amazing! After this kid's out, though, I am never touching the stuff again, I swear to the Maker!"

….

When everyone is finally together, they have a picnic out in the meadow. It's a simple party, with few guests, but it's exactly what Rey had envisioned for her daughter's first birthday. Grandma Leia and Uncle Luke sitting off to the side, watching the younger folk and talking and laughing. Chewbacca talking to the droids and absolutely dwarfing Gemma as she rests contentedly in his great, furry arms. Rose and Finn are lying side by side on a blanket, while Poe and Eloriah are running around, evidently lost in their own game of tag or something of that nature.

Home. Belonging. Happiness. Ben grins at her as the words float across the bond, and he hands her the bowl of ice cream he'd gone to fetch for her.

"I'm going to have to double up on my training after this to make up for all of the sugar." Rey sighs, but the pieces of red fruit dancing over her tongue makes her sigh in delight. "Worth it though, for a happy baby. Are you happy?" She asks, glancing down at her stomach. The child kicks in response.

"Is that her way of asking for more?" He asks with a smirk.

"I don't know Mr. I have a Force bond with my unborn child, and I know what she wants even though I can't see her." Rey scoffs, and he smiles. "I'm going to get her to say mama first this time, just you wait."

"To be fair, Gemma said Papa and then said Mama almost immediately after that, so it's not like she did it to spite you." He teases, taking a seat beside her and stealing a spoonful of her ice cream. His nose twitches as he tastes it and he shakes his head. "Mm. Too sweet."

"If you don't even like it, maybe don't steal it from your pregnant wife." She laughs as he pulls her onto his lap. "Be careful- I'm huge, I don't want to crush you!"

"Okay, you're definitely not that big." He scoffs. "I've been hearing a lot of negativity about you coming from you today. I don't like it."

"I can't help it if that's how I feel."

"Do I have to remind you?" He asks, his hand maneuvering stealthily to her inner thigh. She gasps, and then bites her lip.

"Remind me what?" Her voice comes out as a squeak.

"How beautiful...incredible...sexy, you are?" Between each word his hand drags a little higher, and Rey has never been more grateful for the extremely tall grass.

"Ben…" She warns, glancing around at all of the people gathered, but completely unaware of the location of her husband's hand.

"Later." He promises, kissing her shoulder, and moving his hand to rest acceptably on the swell of her stomach. Rey groans and presses her legs together.

"Not fair, Ben Solo." She growls, trying to center herself with force, hoping that will get rid of the flush in her cheeks and the ache between her legs. As uneasy as she was about her changed figure, her hormones were running wild, and she found herself rather turned on in the most inopportune moments- but of course, Ben was always glad to comply, whisking her off and ravaging her thoroughly before they returned to whatever task was at hand before she'd been struck by her rampaging desire for him. She pouts at him. "You love this, don't you? You want to see me suffer."

"Now that's just not true. If I could, I'd literally just rip off your clothes and take you, right here, right now…But something tells me that's not acceptable behaviour while surrounded by family, at a one year old's birthday party." Ben whispers against the bare skin of her shoulder and she sighs.

"You're right...but it just means you have a lot of work to do later." She says seriously.

"And I'm thoroughly looking forward to it." He says, tilting her face to kiss her again. The baby kicks between them, and her attention quickly turns to the slightly melted ice cream she'd forgotten all about.

"Hey, Rey, when are we going to give the kid her cake?" Finn calls.

"What he's really asking is when can he have cake." Rose adds on.

"Now?" Rey asks, looking at Ben.

"Sure." He smiles.

"Now." She calls back as Ben stands, bringing her up with him, and setting her on her feet. "Do you have the holocam?"

"Yeah." Ben nods, and pulls the small device out of his pocket. She can tell by the red light that he starts filming well before the rest of the party has joined them.

"Ben- Stop it, I'm a mess!" She insists, eating a spoonful of ice cream that dribbles down her chin to prove her point.

"You're beautiful." He corrects, making her roll her eyes. "You want to tell us what's going on?"

"Us?"

"You know ,future us, the kids."

"Oh- right, yeah." She hands him the half empty bowl, and reaches to take Gemma from Chewy as he comes over to them. "Well, it's someone's first birthday."

"Oh it is?" Ben asks, making her roll her eyes.

"Whose birthday is it Gem?" Rey asks, and the baby just blinks at her. "Whose birthday?"

"Mama?" She suggests.

"No, not Mama. Gemma!" Rey laughs, poking her round belly.

"Yeah, it's definitely not mama's first birthday. You and your sister prove that pretty certainly." Poe says as he comes over and casually drapes his arm around Rey's shoulder.

"What are you doing, Poe?" Rey asks, arching her brow at him.

"What? I saw you were filming. This face has to be recorded for future generations, I'm not going to be this young and handsome forever." He teases. "Handsome, yes, young, no." Rey laughs. "Now, I was promised cake?"

"Everyone's going to get cake, don't you worry." Rey says seriously. In no time at all they're all sitting on the large gray blanket surrounding the one year old girl who sits happily on her father's lap with a tiny jogan fruit cake with purple icing before her, and a larger cake for everyone else on a small table behind them. Finn has taken the holocam, ready to capture the moment as Rey helps blow out the single candle, and lets Gemma smash her tiny fists into the cake and raise it delightedly to her mouth. She's smudged her face with purple, and soon Rey and Ben are covered too, and everyone is laughing.

Rey is struck by the beautiful domesticity of it all.

Ben smiling and wiping the smudges of purple frosting off of her cheek.

Rose and Eloriah sneaking up on Poe and Finn and diving, fully clothed, into the lake.

Leia and Luke letting Gemma toddle between the two of them, and rewarding her with pieces of jogan fruit. Entertaining her by levitating the fruit in the air and letting her catch them in her chubby hands.

Chewy hoisting her onto his shoulders and chasing after BB-8 and R2D2.

The baby wiggling under Ben's hand, and him kissing her gently.

It's a family. Her family.

She fought hard for this family, Ben fought hard for this family. It was dysfunctional, unconventional, and a third of it was made up of droids.

But it was beautiful, and it was theirs.


	62. Chapter 62: Over Due

AN _ **: Still a few more chapters to go; then an epilogue! I don't have a sequel planned as of yet, but I do have a plan for maybe like a series of one shots that take place in this particular universe? We'll see!**_

"This. Is. Ridiculous." Rey says as Eloriah finishes her exam. "Is she trying to be as late as Gemma was early?"

"Ten days overdue does seem like a lot, I know, but it could be that we had the dates wrong to begin with, or-"

"The dates weren't wrong. She's just being as stubborn as her father." Rey growls. "He's the one who did this to me."

"Well, to be fair, as a professional midwife, I'm pretty sure that it takes two...but that's probably not what you want to hear right now." Eloriah sighs apologetically.

"I feel bad. Everyone's just...waiting around for me to pop, and nothing. Finn and Rose have work they need to get back to, and I'm keeping you away from Poe, and Leia- well, I don't feel bad about Leia, she's getting all of the grandma time in the world and she loves it."

"You don't have to feel bad, Rey. Finn and Rose have been looking for a house, so it's not like they're just sitting around waiting for your water to break. And Poe has to fly a lot anyways, we talk every night, and he's going to be here soon anyways. He's probably thrilled that the baby is waiting for him to get here. And Leia...yeah, I haven't gotten to hold Gemma in like three days, so, you know she's happy."

"Right." Rey smiles and puts her hands on her stomach.

"I'm going to put together a list of ways to help induce labor- but you don't need to be too concerned yet. Every thing does look really good, okay Rey?" Rey nods. "Alright, I told Poe I would call him when I was done with this."

"Tell him I said Hello."

"Will do." Rey pulls her clothes back in place.

"I am surprised that Ben wasn't here." Eloriah says casually as she tucks a few things into her bag. Rey frowns and caresses her stomach. "Did something happen?"

"We...Fought. Or I fought." Rey sighs. "Ben just...listened."

"Oh." Is all Eloriah says. "Where is he?"

"I sent him away. He's with Gemma, I think."

"You sent him away?" Eloriah asks, and Rey nods sheepishly. "That doesn't seem like you."

"It's not. I don't know what came over me."

"Hormones." Eloriah says simply as explanation.

"It was worse than that- I said some awful things-"

"Hormones, Rey. They're sort of a bitch, especially when you're ten days overdue and super apologize to him. I'm sure he'll forgive you." ELoriah says softly. "If he holds a grudge, I'll talk some sense into him, since you are carrying his child."

"Thanks, Eloriah." Rey says, and her friend nods before she slips out the door. Rey pulls herself into a more comfortable seated position, and lets out a long sigh. " _Ben?"_

" _Rey? What is it?"_ He asks warily, and she can't blame him. She'd picked quite a fight with him that morning and forbid him to be there when Eloriah examined her. She'd shut the bond.

" _I...I'm sorry, for this morning. You didn't deserve it."_

" _It's okay."_

" _It really isn't okay, though. You've been nothing but wonderful to me, and I.."_

" _Rey, my love, please, don't cry."_ He says, and she reaches her hands up, surprised to find the moisture there.

" _Ben?"_

" _Yes?"_

" _Will you...will you please come to me?"_ She asks shyly.

" _I'm on my way."_ She lets out a sigh of relief, and lies back against her bed; their bed. Her fingers trace absently across the pale green bedding. He'd chosen it for her, knowing how much she loved light colors. He was just so thoughtful… " _Please don't cry."_ He repeats and she nods. Her hands fall on her stomach again, and she sighs.

"What are you waiting for little one? Don't you want to come out and meet everyone for real?" She asks. "Aren't you tired of running out of space in there? Don't you want to meet your papa? I know you love him, don't you want to let him hold you? Please?" The door opens, and Ben comes to her side at once. He pulls her into his arms as she begins to cry in earnest. "I'm so sorry- I was so cruel to you this morning. I didn't mean a word of it, I swear I didn't."

"I've already forgotten." He says, stroking her hair. But she knew that wasn't true. The memory plays in her mind as harsh and cruel as she recalled it.

" _This is all your fault- she's being stubborn, just like you!" Normally words like this would be teasing, but this time they're laced with a biting edge. She's been increasingly irritable for the last two weeks. He doesn't say anything this time, just finishes helping her get her shoes on. "Oh, the great Kylo Ren has nothing to say?" His muscles grow rigid, and she feels his hurt, but she's too caught up in her own anger and frustration to care._

" _You haven't called me that in a long time. A very long time." He observes after a moment. "Not even when I wanted you to. Only when you were mad at me."_

" _Stop touching me." She groans, shaking him off, and kicking the space in front of her like a child in a tantrum. He was staying so calm, and it only made her more angry. "I don't want your darkness and sin to rub off on me."_

" _Rey…"_

" _Sometimes I still can't believe that I let you touch me on Starkiller. What could I have been thinking?" She shakes her head. "I really hated myself after that, you know."_

" _I'm sorry." He says, his voice pained._

" _Damn it! Fight me, don't apologize!" She growls._

" _Eloriah is going to be here any minute." He says._

" _Your point is?"_

" _I don't want to fight with you, Rey."_

" _Where was that sentiment on Starkiller?"_

" _I'm sorry that fighting my nine months pregnant wife, who I love, doesn't appeal to me!"_

" _Just get out."_

" _What?"_

" _Get out!"_

" _Rey-"_

" _I want you gone! Out of my sight, just go!" She throws a pillow at him, and then another._

" _I'm going to go check on Gemma. If you need me-"_

" _Get. out." He leaves slowly, keeping his eyes on her. As soon as the door closes, guilt begins to eat away at her. She crosses her arms stubbornly, but tears start to well in her eyes._

"Ben, you have...your hands….they are not covered in sin. They're perfect, and I love them, and I love you, I love you so much, and I will never forgive myself for saying those awful, awful things." SHe shakes her head, and takes his hands, kissing them tenderly.

"My love...Rey, I've forgiven you everything already." He assures her, pressing his lips to her hair.

"How can you be so calm? I...I called you-"

"I know what you said. It doesn't matter." He shakes his head.

"It does. You have to know that I don't see you that way, Ben. I only see you, the man that I love, the father of my children, the bravest, most handsome man in the galaxy." She whispers against his neck. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry."

"Regardless of what good things I've done, Rey...it doesn't change who I was in the past. I did do terrible things. THere is sin on my hands...and I- I still can't believe you let me touch you on Starkiller. You didn't say anything that I haven't thought before."

"That makes it worse!" She sobs into his shoulder. "Ben...my dear, thoughtful, Ben. I hate how much pain you feel- I wish I could wash it all away- I think that all the time, and then today, I...Today, I hurt you too. I can never make that up to you."

"Rey...I don't know how to make you understand...You can see into my head, how can you not see?" He sighs. "You have done everything for me, Rey. Loved me, when I hated myself. Waited for me when everyone else gave up hope. You married me, you had my child- you're carrying my child now- there will never be anything you could do that would be unforgivable to me. And I know you didn't mean it. I know how frustrated and tired you are. You've barely slept for five days."

"That's no excuse-"

"Yes, it is, Rey. People do strange things when they're not at their best. Things that are out of character. Things they don't mean." His voice is soothing. She lets out a shuddering breath, and relaxes into him. "How was it?"

"No changes. The baby just...doesn't want to come out." She groans. "She's going to put together a list, of ways to trigger labour, but I'm getting desperate." Suddenly he's kissing her, and she pulls back. "What are you doing?"

"What does it look like?" He asks, kissing his way down her throat. His thoughts ring clear in her head, and she gasps.

"Oh-Oh!" She laughs as he unbuttons the collar of her loose dress. "I don't know Ben...I'm not...In the mood…" but despite this, her back arches up and her fingers tangle in his hair. They haven't slept together in over a month now, since her libido had drastically diminished, and she'd never felt less sexy than she had in the last few weeks. But suddenly, he's freed her torso from the dress and his lips are brushing softly over her breast and she feels herself growing embarrassingly aroused.

"Do you want me to stop?" He asks, looking up at her with dark, soulful eyes.

"Don't you dare." She gasps as his teeth brush her skin. She catches a thought that flickers in the back of his mind, and she pushes him back. "Are you just trying to sleep with me to trigger labor?!"

"What? No!" He says, somewhat guiltily. "Okay, the thought had crossed my mind, but that's not the only reason." His mind flickers to an image of her the last time they'd slept together, when she'd felt significantly less gigantic, and she'd wanted him so much. So much desire pulses through him that she can't help but blush.

"...It has been...rather a long time." She admits with a slight smile. She pushes him onto his back, and climbs over his lap with as much agility as she can muster. "As long as you do...You do want me, don't you?" He looks at her dubiously, and gently presses her against his hips, and she gasps when she feels his arousal beneath her. "Oh- I guess that settles that." She chuckles, and he sits up and kisses her.

After, she falls asleep, and sleeps better than she has in weeks.

And when she wakes up the sheets around her are wet, and Ben's nowhere in sight. She feels out for him through the bond, finding him in the nursery with Gemma. He feels her probing, and his lips curl into a smile.

" _Good morning my love. You slept all night. And most of the day yesterday. How do you feel? Are you hungry?"_ He asks.

" _I feel...I feel fine. I could eat."_ She says calmly, but she knows that the pain is going to come.

" _Ice cream?"_

" _And bread?"_

" _I'll bring it right up."_ She bites her lips and feels her body tense with the pain. " _What- Rey, is that what I think it was?"_

" _Yeah. My um, my water actually broke."_

" _What?!"_

" _My water broke. Can I have my ice cream now?"_ She asks.

" _Should I get Eloriah?"_

" _Oh, yeah, that would probably be a good idea."_

" _You're so...calm."_

" _I used up all of my insanity yesterday, Ben. I'm beyond ready for this baby to come."_ She lets out a long breath. " _And I'm hungry."_

" _That I can take care of. I'll get Eloriah to you right away."_

" _Ben?"_

" _What? What else is it? What do you need?"_

" _Nothing- I just...I love you."_

" _I love you too."_

" _And I'm still sorry-"_

" _You can make it up to me by having my baby today. Deal?"_

 __" _Deal."_


	63. Chapter 63: Ours

_**AN: Hello my dears! Get ready to welcome Solo Baby 2.0! Don't worry, this isn't the end yet, I still have several more chapters to upload! I know they've been less frequent, but I'm afraid I've been more busy! Please enjoy!**_

The baby makes up for being so overdue by having a short labor. The time that passes from her waking up to her water breaking to Eloriah telling her to push is only four hours; and Ben is wonderful through it all. She screams in agony, and he sends all of his strength into her. It helps, but the pain is almost too much to bear.

"Rey, you're doing so well, come on, just a few more pushes here!" Eloriah says.

"Oh Maker- Rey, how are you doing this?" Rose asks from where she stands holding the hand that Ben wasn't.

"It's clearly….super...easy." Rey says through gritted teeth, and Rose lets out a loud laugh.

"Sorry, sorry!" Rose shakes her head, and resumes her serious demeanor. Rey had asked her if she wanted to be there for the birth, and she had eagerly accepted; but Rey could sense that now, she was almost glad to know she would never have to go through this herself.

"Rey, you have to push!" Eloriah says, and Rey nods. She pushes with all of her strength, and a great deal of Ben's, but the baby just doesn't seem to want to budge. Finally she screams in frustration, and falls back against the pillows.

"Why can't I do this?" She asks quietly, her face tilting towards Ben. He brings one of his hands to her cheek, and presses it gently.

"You can, Rey, and you will." He says, and she nods half heartedly. "Come on, you fought Snoke and lived to tell the tale- you can do this. I know you can." He pushes another wave of his strength into her, and she bears down again with more determination than she thought she could muster at this point. With one last loud cry, she feels an enormous flair of pain followed by relief and the shrill, beautiful cry of a newborn.

"A girl!" Eloriah announces, confirming what they've already known for months.

"Thank the maker." Rey sobs, and she falls into Ben's arms. She hardly notices anything else that happens for a number of minutes. The baby's cry is the only thing she can hear, even as she delivers the afterbirth, and is told she'll need stitching, all she can focus on is the baby she's waited so long to meet. Eloriah brings the baby to her, and lays her on her chest. "Ben- Oh Ben, she's so beautiful!"

"I see her, Rey, you did it. Thank you, so much." He kisses her temple, and lays his hand on the child's back. The connection between the three of them sparks, and Rey lets out another sob of relief, and pure happiness. She gazes at the little girl on her chest, taking in her every wrinkled, pink feature.

"She's got my nose. Just like Gemma." She observes.

"Thank the maker." He murmurs, and she laughs.

"I happen to like your nose." She says, kissing it for emphasis. She winces as Eloriah prepares to stitch her, and Ben stops her.

"I'll take care of it." He says gently, and he moves between her legs. Rey knows she shouldn't' blush- this is nothing that Ben hasn't seen before, and everyone knows that he's seen it before. Their child is resting on her chest, for force's sake! But he raises his hand to heal her, and it seems so startlingly intimate.

"Um- We should just, go tell everyone the good news." Eloriah says, gesturing for an awestruck Rose to follow her. Rey smiles thankfully at her as they leave the room.

"For a non force sensitive, she's incredibly good at reading emotions." Ben observes. "She's also pregnant."

"What?" Rey asks, tearing her eyes away from her baby.

"Can't you feel it?" Ben asks.

"Well, I was a little distracted the last few weeks." Rey says. "Does she know?"

"I don't think she does." He shakes his head, and resumes his healing. Rey can't help but stare at him in wonder. He'd been practicing his force healing quite a lot recently. He wasn't as good at it as Rey was, but he still did it well. And when he healed her, it felt, for lack of a better word, beautiful. She could feel all of his love, his focus, and his devotion to her through the bond flaring as he visualized her flesh healing. "She would have told you, if she did."

"Yeah, You're probably right." She turns her attention back to her baby, and he finishes healing her before he pulls her skirt back down over her knees.

"She looks a lot more like you than Gemma did. She has your lips- your hair….she looks just like you." He says, pulling himself up the bed to look at her more closely.

"She's got your ears, and your curls...Look at her, she's a perfect combination, like Gem." Rey says, pressing her lips to her daughter's forehead.

"What do we call her?" He asks, tracing his hand over the smooth skin of the newborn's back. They'd thought on this question for months, but had never come to a distinctive answer. Her fingers trace along the planes of her daughter's face, and she smiles.

"Amara." She says, looking to him for approval.

"Amara Solo." He smiles, and she knows he approves. He leans in and kisses her. "Her middle name- what do we use?".

"The name of someone beloved." Rey suggests. "The way we used Bey for Gemma. Someone she should look up to, someone who is good."

"What about Rose?" He asks, and Rey grins.

"Amara Rose Solo...I quite like that."

" _Can we come in?"_ Leia's voice is gentle in Ben's head. Ben covers Rey's legs with the blanket, and she nods.

" _Yes."_ The door opens, and she marches in with Gemma in her arms.

"Papa!" Gemma calls, reaching for him. Ben takes her in his arms, and kisses her cheek. "Mama good?"

"Mama is very, very good." Ben says, carrying her over to the bed.

"Hi my sweet girl." Rey smiles, and pats the space beside her. Gemma wiggles up alongside her mother, and stares at the baby in her arms.

"Who?" Gemma asks curiously.

"Gemma, this is Amara Rose. Your sister." Rey says softly.

"Amma?" She asks.

"Yes, Amara." Rey nods. She passes the new baby over to Ben, and lifts Gemma into her lap, despite lingering soreness. "Did you have a nice time with Grandma Leia?"

"Yep!" Gemma nods. "Gram Leia good."

"That's mama's girl, mama's big girl." She says, kissing her beautiful, dark corkscrew curls. Ben's free arm wraps around her, pulling her close so that his arms are around all three of his girls.

"Oh my gosh, I'm so glad I brought this." Leia says, drawing attention to the active holocam. "She's gorgeous, Rey. Really, truly gorgeous."

"I wish I could take all of the credit- but I think I have to give some to Ben." Rey says.

"Barely." Ben rolls his eyes.

"Granted, I did do most of the work." Rey laughs. She looks down at her two daughters- Ben's daughters, and smiles. Gemma is staring at her sister, completely enraptured, when Amara opens her eyes.

"Amma!" Gemma claps her hands, and the baby blinks against the light.

"Just like I hoped. She has your eyes." Rey says, looking up at Ben. "Just like Gem."

"Mom, do you want to hold her?" Ben asks, and Leia nods, tucking the holocam away. She comes to the side of the bed, and Ben lays the baby in her waiting arms.

"Hello Amara. I'm your grandma." Leia says softly. She presses a kiss to the baby's forehead. "You got your father's ears, I see. They look good on you."

"They look good on him too." Rey smirks, and leans over her older daughter to kiss him.

"He's my son, of course he looks good." Leia says seriously.

….

In all the time she'd known Rose, Rey had never seen her cry. But she cries when they tell her Amara's full name. She hugs Rey so tight it almost aches, but Rey doesn't complain.

"It was actually Ben's idea." Rey admits, and that's when Rose hugged Ben for the first time.

"Thank you." Rose says, and Ben raises an arm to awkwardly pat her back.

"Thank you." Finn whispers to Rey from the seat next to the bed where he is holding the newest Solo. Rey grins at him, and puts her hand on his shoulder. "She's really cute, Rey. And so tiny- like, I feel like I'm going to crush her, on accident, of course- and I won't."

"I know. I trust you." Rey says. "She's actually bigger than Gemma was when she was born. You just didn't meet Gemma until she was a month old."

"I guess that's true." Finn shrugs.

"Alright, pass her over!" Rose demands. Finn does so a little reluctantly. Rose sits next to Rey on the bed, her eyes glittering with happy tears. "Hi there Amara Rose. You're so beautiful. Your parents just make really damn cute kids. I'm your aunt Rose. I'm going to spoil you rotten, just ask your big sister."

….

When Eloriah comes back a few hours later, Rey takes a moment to feel her through the force. Sure enough, she feels what Ben had been talking about. The extra flicker of life and vibrance radiating from inside of her body; it wasn't a powerful presence, like Gemma's or Amara's, no force presence beyond what was normal in a lifeform, and yet it was there, flickering and growing.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Eloriah asks her with an amused laugh as she fills out the paperwork for Amara.

"Like what?" Rey asks innocently.

"I don't know- like you're seeing me for the first time, or I grew a second head or something." Eloriah says, shaking her head. "Maybe you're just tired. Did you get to sleep at all since this morning? Your body went through a lot."

"No, I didn't yet. Amara has been fussy off and on, and we had so many people to see…" Rey yawns. "But Ben is tucking Gem in for the night, and Amara is finally sleeping. So I may just get a few hours in before I have to feed her again."

"See that you do. You've earned it." Eloriah smiles, and looks back down at the papers again. Rey grins and tries to stop staring as she feels for the little flickering in her friend's body again. "There it is again- what's going on?"

"Nothing!" Rey says, shrugging. Eloriah crosses her arms over her chest. "...unless, you have something you want to tell me."

"Like what?" Eloriah asks, raising an eyebrow at her.

"Like...big news." Rey says slowly.

"Well, Poe should be here tomorrow, but that's not really big news?" Eloriah says.

"Nothing else?" Rey asks.

"Um, no?" Eloriah chuckles. "Unless you have something you want to tell me?"

"Do you have an implant?" Rey asks, and Eloriah colors.

"Um, no, actually, I don't."

"Why not?"

"Well- Poe and I only started...you know, about three months ago."

"Really?"

"Yes, really. We were taking things slow." Eloriah shrugs. "I should probably see about getting an implant though- I've just been visiting on Naboo so often, it's just slipped my mind I guess...Why do you ask?"

"Um, No, no reason. Just curious. I probably should get a new implant too." Rey says quickly. "But do they perform pregnancy tests, before they give the implants?"

"Typically yes. I didn't when I gave one to you because I knew there was no chance that you were pregnant."

"But they do perform the test?"

"Rey, I can guarantee that you're not going to get pregnant again before you can get a new implant." Eloriah laughs.

"No, I know." Rey says carefully, and waits. Eloriah suddenly drops the pen she holds and looks at Rey with wide blue eyes. Rey stares at her expectantly.

"Do you- is this some weird force thing? Do you know something?" Eloriah asks, and Rey nods. "Do you think that I…" Rey nods again. "I'm going to be sick- no, I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm not pregnant, I'm a midwife, I'd know if I was pregnant."

"Whatever you say, Eloriah." Rey says slowly as her earlier exhaustion creeps into her head again. "But maybe you should see about a test, you know, before Poe gets here tomorrow."

"No- yes. Maybe." Eloriah stammers. She's easily the least collected Rey has ever seen her.

"You didn't sound this nervous when I told you we were running from the first order." Rey laughs sleepily.

"You're exhausted. I should let you sleep. I can finish these in the morning." Eloriah says suddenly. She gathers up all of the papers. "You're good? The baby's good?"

"We're all good." Rey assures her with a smile.

"Okay- well, you know where to find me, if you need me." She says, and with that she vanishes through the door.

" _Did you just tell Eloriah that she was pregnant?"_ Ben asks, his amused voice dancing in her mind.

" _I think you know that I did."_ Rey says.

" _She's freaking out."_ He observes.

" _Wouldn't you freak out if someone told you you were pregnant without administering medical tests?"_

" _I think if someone told me I was pregnant I'd freak out for any number of reasons."_ His laughter is warm, and it floods her chest with longing. " _Gem's sleeping. I'm on my way back to you already."_

" _I missed you."_

" _You're really tired, aren't you?"_

" _Huh? Yes?"_

" _You get really clingy when you're tired."_

" _I do not!"_

" _It's okay. I like it."_ She can almost feel his lips curling into a smile.

" _Then hurry up and come hold me."_ she sighs, and settles back into the pillows. They're soft and comfortable, but no substitution for the comfort of her husband's broad, muscular chest, the smell of him and the rhythmic beating of his heart beneath her cheek. The door opens, and Ben shrugs off his shirt and tosses it on the floor as he crosses the room and climbs into bed. "My Ben…" She whispers as he folds her in his arms. She presses a kiss to his bare chest, and he kisses her hair.

"Go to sleep Rey. I'm here." He says softly, and she drifts off slowly, lulled by his even breathing and the music of his pulse.

…

Rey sees it from the distance while she nurses Amara on the balcony that overlooks the gardens. Poe and Eloriah are walking hand in hand when suddenly, they stop. She sees Poe throw his arms around her and spin her in a wide circle, letting out a cheer so loud that Rey can hear it from where she sits. She can't keep the grin off of her face as Poe falls to his knees in front of her redheaded friend, and rests his forehead against her stomach.

"So I guess Dameron knows." Ben observes as he returns to the balcony with a tray of food for Rey.

"I think that's a safe assumption." Rey laughs as she takes a large red berry from the bowl of fruit. "I'm glad for them. They're going to be wonderful parents." Ben nods and sits beside her on the padded bench. She leans into his shoulder and looks up at him. "You're a good man, Ben Solo." She says suddenly, catching him off guard, which is rare since he can see in her head.

"Oh- Um-"

"You are. You take such good care of me, and our girls." Rey says softly.

"I thought you didn't need anyone to take care of you." He laughs, and she frowns playfully at him.

"I don't. But that doesn't mean I don't like having you take care of me sometimes. For instance…" She says as she reaches for a purple berry. "You always make sure the house is full of fruit for me, and you bring me food without me asking while I'm feeding the baby. You hired a gardener, because you know how much I like flowers. You chose green bedding because you know I like bright colors, even though I know you prefer the darker ones. You wake up with Gemma and Amara more often than I do, because you want me to be able to sleep. The list goes on, my love."

"I just…" He trails off, overcome with emotion. She dips into his head, and frowns.

"Oh Ben- I am happy! I've never been so happy, and I never dreamed that happiness like this was even possible! And it's mostly because of you. I mean, I love our daughters more than life itself, they're our girls, and the big house and the gardens are nice, but without you, I'd feel so empty. So lost." She grabs his collar and pulls his face to her own, catching his lips with hers. "I love you. I really, really love you." He grins as they rest their foreheads together.

"I never thought I'd find the perfect woman in the forest on Takodana." He says, and she laughs. She finishes feeding their daughter, and he takes her, draping her over his shoulder easily and gently rubbing and patting her back.

"I wish I had a holocam so I could capture little moments like this. I love seeing you with our girls." Rey grins as she takes another small handful of berries.

"Don't worry, there will be plenty of opportunities for holos of moments like this. I don't ever intend to stop." Ben laughs. "After all, you had to do the actual birthing, It only seems fair that I help with this."

"SHE SAID YES!" Poe's loud jubilant cry cuts through the perfect peace of Rey's moment with Ben; not that she really could mind, with news like that. She turns to look at them, and sees them running hand in hand back towards the house. "Rey! Rey- Eloriah's going to marry me!" He says when they reach the steps to the balcony.

"You know, I heard." Rey laughs. She stands up and embraces him. "Congratulations, Poe. You couldn't have chosen a better woman."

"Thanks kid." Poe's grin is huge when he pulls away. "Ben, let me see that kid." He says as he walks past Rey to her husband. Rey turns her attention to Eloriah, who is grinning like a fool. She takes her friend's hands and squeezes them.

"Congratulations to you too."

"He was going to ask me before I told him, about the baby." Eloriah whispers, still in a bit of shock. "He really wants me- he wants us to be a family. A real family...I haven't had one of those in a long, long time." Rey wants to protest, and tell her that she was a part of their family, but she knows exactly what Eloriah means. "Thanks for telling me. About the baby. He's so happy about it- I was honestly worried that he wouldn't be."

"Of course he's happy, Eloriah. He loves you. And he's always wanted kids- he was just waiting for the right woman." Rey glances down at the engraved golden band that's now resting on Eloriah's finger. She recognizes it as the band that Poe had kept on the chain around his neck since his own mother had given it to him. "And he found her."

"Thanks to you. If you hadn't come along…" Eloriah shakes her head against the thought. "I'm so lucky that you came to the Finalizer when you did. I'm so lucky that you trusted me to help you get away."

"I'm the one who was lucky- I would have _hated_ having a med droid deliver my baby. And I would have missed out on meeting you, and you have proven yourself to be one of the most loyal and loving friends I could ever have." Eloriah embraces her then. She glances over her shoulder at Poe meeting her youngest daughter, and she feels a lightness in her chest. "Well, what do you think Poe?"

"She's real damn cute. Just like her sister." Poe grins. He glances slyly at Eloriah, his eyes landing on her stomach before he looks away.

"Don't worry Poe, I'm sure your child will be cute. Rey says and he starts, and then chuckles.

"Of course you already know." He shakes his head. "Do we have a friendly rivalry then?"

"I think not. If we argued over who had cuter kids, I don't think we would ever come to an agreement." Rey says.

"Besides, they'll be so different. Probably a little red head." Eloriah teases as she rests a hand on her stomach.

"I hope so." Poe says, smiling up at her from his seat.

…

" _I love the sound of their breathing."_ Rey is smiling as her fingers thread through Ben's over their sleeping daughters. Gemma lays closest to her father, resting one of her tiny hands on her baby sister's tummy.

" _So do I."_ Her eyes flicker to Ben's face, observing the beautiful lazy grin spreading over his lips.

" _You're so handsome."_

" _You're beautiful."_ she blushes. " _Still so shy."_

" _I'm not shy."_ She insists, tilting her head to the side.

" _Of course not."_ His grin is broader now. He looks back down at their daughters, his eyes becoming impossibly tender. " _They're both so happy...Can you feel it?"_

" _Yes."_ She lets out a little sigh of contentment. " _Of course they're happy, My love. They're safe, they're loved…"_

" _I can never thank you enough for giving them to me."_

" _You're a fool if you think you have to thank me for them. I could say the same to you. They wouldn't exist without you."_ She smiles at him adoringly, and his heart skips a beat. " _Do you think they're dreaming?"_

" _Focus on their minds...gently...you can catch glimpses of it. Mostly just shapes, and colors, especially from Amara. But if you look at Gemma's mind, you can almost make out faces, voices…"_

" _Ours."_ Rey confirms with a quiet laugh.

" _So much for one boy and one girl, huh?"_ He asks as his thumb traces over the back of her hand. She smiles and shakes her head.

" _It's alright. I wouldn't trade Amara for anything."_

" _I wouldn't either."_

" _Besides...there's still time, if we want a boy. We aren't exactly old yet, Ben."_ She chuckles. " _That is, if you no longer worry what having more children would mean."_

" _I can hardly remember what I was afraid of now. Look at them; they're perfect. How could I object to the idea of another?"_ Ben asks.

" _But not too soon this time. I'm getting a new implant and I'm going to keep it in working order this time."_ Rey says determinedly. " _For now, I want us to enjoy the children already have. I don't want us to miss anything."_

" _I agree."_ She can feel his contentment flooding her system like it's part of her bloodstream.

" _Besides, I don't think I could manage three Solos under the age of two. I don't think anyone actually could."_ He laughs audibly at this, and Gemma fidgets in her sleep. The child's dreams flair, an image of her father picking her up and dangling her feet in the water, letting her feet splash. The sound of beautiful laughter, hers, Ben's, Gemma's, all playing through the older girl's head like music. And then a remarkably tender image flashes in her mind's eye, the face of her baby sister, bathed in soft light.

" _I told you they loved each other."_ Ben says softly.

" _Did you ever imagine we'd get here? To our somewhere green?"_ Rey asks, and he smirks.

" _Honestly...I wasn't always so sure."_ His voice is remarkably quiet.

" _And yet…"_

" _We're here now. Together."_

"Always." She whispers, and raises their joined hands to kiss his fingers.

"Always."


	64. Chapter 64: Families

_**AN: Hello again! Another chapter!**_

"He is so precious!" Rey grins at Eloriah as she holds her newborn son for the first time. "Welcome to our little family, Luke Dameron." Eloriah grins at her friend, and leans her head on Poe's shoulder.

"He looks just like Poe." Eloriah says, as if Rey couldn't see the obvious.

"Really? Just like Poe?" Rey asks, moving aside the blanket to reveal short red hair sticking up at all angles.

"Well, maybe he got a little something from me." Eloriah admits with a shrug. "Thank you for coming for the birth."

"Please, after you delivered both of my girls? I wouldn't have missed it." Rey smiles as she hands the baby to his father. Poe smiles as he takes the boy in his arms, his pride rippling off of him in waves. "He's going to be a looker when he grows up."

"He's a looker now." Eloriah insists.

"Of course he is." Rey nods.

Eloriah and Poe had eloped on Naboo less than a week after becoming engaged, inviting only their makeshift little family. They hadn't wanted to wait to plan anything elaborate, so they just married, and set out on adventures around the galaxy, only settling down on Coruscant when Eloriah had become too pregnant to travel comfortably.

"Well, it was about time someone had a boy." Leia says as she enters the room. Poe grins, stands up and carries the baby over to Leia, who he loved like a mother, and showing him off proudly. "Well look at you...you're certainly handsome, aren't you?"

"Like father like son." Poe says cheekily, and he puts the baby in Leia's arms.

"Right." Leia smiles at him, and looks down at the baby boy in her arms. "I should thank you. You got my son and his family to come for a visit, after all." Rey smiles sheepishly; though they loved Leia dearly, they had yet to visit her at the Capital on Coruscant. They found that even on Naboo they sometimes had a difficult time staying out of the spotlight. On Coruscant it was nearly impossible, and they didn't want that for their daughters. They wanted at normal life for them, and so far they had gotten their wish. They knew that people were curious, and not just about their children, but about them.

Everyone had expected the two of them to be public figures after the war was over. They thought they might be political leaders, or, at the very least they'd start a new Jedi academy. And they had been over that- as the last remaining trained force users in the galaxy, other than Luke, surely they had a duty to train those force users who wished to have training.

But after everything they had been through, they had to have earned just a little bit of peace, and time for their family.

"Luke is going to be flattered when he finds out the name." Leia says surely. "And it suits this little fellow."

" _How is everything? Eloriah and the baby, they're both well?"_ Ben asks. She senses his boredom. The children are both sleeping. She isn't there. There's nothing for him to do except train, but the training droids hardly pose an adequate challenge.

" _Very. he's handsome too. A paler Poe, with red hair...right now his eyes are bright blue, but Eloriah thinks they'll fade over time. I don't though, they look just like hers."_ Rey explains with a smile. " _Did the girls settle down without trouble?"_

" _Amara fell asleep as soon as I had her in her crib. Gemma was...not as easy."_

" _I can't believe she hit her terrible twos a month early."_ Rey sighs. " _I can't believe she's almost two. Only one more month-"_

" _Sh, she's still a baby."_ Ben insists.

" _And our Amara is seven months old...where does the time go?"_

" _It passes too swiftly."_

" _I know."_

"Rey?" Leia asks, and Rey snaps back to attention. "And how is Ben?"

"Sorry- He was just checking in. I haven't been away from Amara for this long since she was born, I just wanted to make sure he had everything under control."

" _Have I ever failed the children before?"_ He asks with light amusement.

" _Not once."_ Leia hands baby Luke to her, and she smiles.

"Let's get you back to your mother, huh little man?" Rey coos as she runs her finger over the bridge of his nose. As she lays him in Eloriah's arms, Rey grins at her. "He really is very handsome, Eloriah. And you did a wonderful job."

"All I know is I have a new respect for every mother whose child I've delivered before! I mean, I knew it was painful, but oh my goodness, I had no idea how painful!" Eloriah shakes her head. "But now I have this beautiful baby boy...and I adore him."

"I'm so happy for you, dear friend."

" _When will you be back?"_ Ben asks.

" _I'm not sure, why?"_

" _Well, with three p o and mother here to keep an eye on the kids...I thought you and I might be able to go out. Maybe have dinner somewhere nice."_

" _I would like that."_ Rey smiles to herself. "I think we ought to let Eloriah rest."

"I could use a nap…" ELoriah admits. "But I just...I don't want to stop looking at him."

"I know the feeling." Rey smiles. "But I'm sure that Poe will be more than happy to hold him while you sleep, even to sit nearby, so you have him next to you."

"Of course." Poe says, coming up beside Rey. She gives him a quick embrace and then he takes his son from his wife after he presses a tender kiss to her forehead. "I love you, Ellie."

"I love you." Eloriah yawns, and settles back into the pillows, her eyes never leaving Poe and baby Luke. Rey grins at the sight in front of her, the sweet little family that would never have existed if she hadn't gone to Ben on the Finalizer so long ago. Yes, Rey could feel the work of the force in all of this.

….

"You know, I almost feel like this is the most normal thing we've ever done." Rey giggles as she sips from her wine glass.

"You're probably right. I don't think I've ever taken you on a date before." Ben observes.

"I don't know about that. We've had picnics, strolls in the moonlight, swimming lessons." Rey shrugs. "All perfectly lovely dates...but I guess that dinner at a fancy restaurant is the most typical holofilm date we could have chosen."

"I have another surprise. I may have gotten us a room in a hotel, for after." Ben says, and Rey raises her brow at him. "Don't worry, my mother was on board with the idea. She said we never really got a honeymoon. She also insisted that we don't come back to her house until after noon, so she can have a proper day with her grandchildren."

"Well then...we'd better not disappoint her." Rey grins.

"We should do this more often. You look beautiful." Ben says. Rey adjusts the neckline of her midnight blue dress, and glances up at him shyly through her lashes. Leia had insisted on taking her shopping while she was on Coruscant, and she hadn't been able to deny such a simple request. "Don't be self conscience, Rey. The dress suits you. You're...breathtaking."

"If you like this…" She says, her voice dropping down to a mere whisper. "You should see what I've got on underneath it." her mind flashes very briefly to the matching blue and gold undergarments she'd purchased when Leia had been trying something on for herself. She hears Ben stifle a groan as the image enters his mind's eye.

"Check, please." He says calmly as the serving droid passes.

"Ben- we haven't even had dessert yet!" Rey giggles. "And you know how much I like sweets."

"And the chocolate jogan fruit mousse cake, to go." He adds before the droid disappears. She grins as she traces her foot up the front of his leg. He bites his full lip,and catches her foot before it roams up any higher, and she smiles cheekily at him. "Careful."

"I'm not doing anything." She says too innocently. His eyes narrow at her, and he shakes his head.

"Where is that damn droid?" Rey can't help but laugh.

…..

"That's delicious!" Rey grins as Ben feeds her a forkful of the cake. He kisses her forehead, and takes a bite of the cake for himself. She's cuddled comfortably into his side, his skin warm and

slick with sweat, and shreds of gold and blue fabric scattered around them. He feeds her another bite, and she laughs as she pinches a piece of gold lace between her fingers. "You know Ben, there were fastenings on these."

"That would have taken too long. Did you see how you looked in this? It's impressive that it lasted as long as it did, really." He shrugs. She chuckles and kisses his shoulder. "It is a shame though. I did like it, a lot."

"Really, I couldn't tell." He sets the cake aside and pulls her onto his lap. "Hey now, I wasn't done with that!"

"And I wasn't done with you." his lopsided grin pulls at his lips before they start their assault on her throat. She tips her head back to give him better access.

"So this is what it's like to have a weekend get away without the kids. How novel." She murmurs. "Though I suppose its only a night without them…"

"Then we'd better make the most of it." He says against her skin. She loves the way his voice feels as it travels down her skin, covering her with goosebumps. Her legs open of their own accord, already prepared to take him in, and she feels him bite gently into her shoulder as he fills her.

…

"We will have to do this again." Rey says she dresses the next morning.

"Oh, absolutely." He kisses her still bare shoulder.

"But I will admit, I missed our girls. With me spending the whole day with Eloriah and the whole night with you...Well, In seven months I've never been away from Amara for so long. And Gem's going through such a testy time right now...I hate to pull her off of her schedule."

"I know." Ben agrees. He kisses her lips. "But you know that they'll be fine. My mom is probably spoiling them rotten."

"I know." Rey grins. "I can't wait for you to see baby Luke though. He's just darling. Eloriah wants us to bring the girls to meet him sometime in the next few days."

"Well, Gem does love babies."

"You say that like she's so big. She's not even two yet...for another month." Rey groans, and puts her face in her hands. "I can't believe I have an almost two year old child...I can't believe we have two children...I can't believe I'm already thinking of having another one!"

"Are you?" Ben asks, genuinely surprised.

"How can you not know that? You're in my head." Rey laughs. "Of course I'm thinking about it. I think having a boy would be...well, it could complete our little family. When I was holding baby Luke…" The swell of love and longing that flows from her chest explains it all to Ben.

"Well...alright." Ben agrees. "Let's have another." Rey's heart skips a beat.

"Really?" He shrugs.

"Why not? We have the room and the means, the galaxy is as stable as it's ever been, Both of the girls are doing well…" Rey smiles.

"Well...My implant is due to be replaced in a month." Rey says. "I suppose that after that we could just…"

"Let the force decide?" He asks and she nods. "Alright."

"And we'll get our boy." Rey smirks.

"Again, I have no control over that." He laughs.

"No...but I just have a feeling."


	65. Chapter 65: Next Time

_**AN: Happy Easter my beautiful readers! I'm sorry I waited so long to add another chapter- I have to tell you it's because I've been working on a same Universe fic featuring Poe and Eloriah, and a glimpse into their story. A reader had asked if I might do such a thing, and I had already been considering it, so I thought, why not? So the first chapter of that will probably be up sometime in the next week or so! It's much shorter than this one, but it is multichapter, and just gives a new POV to events of this story.**_

It's just over a year later that they welcome Magdalena Leia Solo into their family.

"So what was that, about you being sure it would be a boy?" Ben asks as he holds mother and daughter in his arms for the first time together.

"Shut up." Rey murmurs as she presses her lips to the baby girls forehead. She has a headful of black corkscrew curls, and her father's eyes, but other than that, she's entirely her mother's child. "The Force knew what it was doing. She's perfect."

"Of course she is, she's yours." Ben says, pressing his lips to her cheek.

"And yours." Rey almost laughs. She looks up at him with a wry smile. "You're quite outnumbered now, aren't you my love?"

"I guess so." He shrugs. "I don't really mind."

"Incoming!" Rose calls from the hallway, and the door bursts open. Gemma is in first, running as quick as her chubby little legs will carry her, and Amara is in Rose's arms, wiggling and trying to get down on her feet.

"Well hello there my dear one." Rey laughs as Gemma pulls her way up onto the bed.

"Mama!" She cries, clinging to her leg. "You hurt?"

"No Gem, Mama's okay." Rey assures her. Gemma still frowns, her lips pouting just like her fathers. Rey glances over her shoulder at Ben, who leans forward and brings Gemma into his arms so that she's beside her mother. Rey puts a hand on her oldest daughter's cheek, and smiles at her. "See? Mama is okay."

"She's been worried all afternoon." Leia says as she takes Amara out of Rose's arms. "It's incredible, how much she can feel from you through the force."

"Mama hurt." Gemma insists, putting her hands on her mother's face.

"No, no my love. Mama was hurting, just for a little while. But I'm all better now. And look…" Rey shifts the bundle of blankets so that the little girl can see the face of her newest sister. "This is your sister."

"Amara sister." Gemma says, her brow furrowing.

"Yes, you're right Gemma." Ben says. "But now you have another sister. This is Magdalena."

"Meg?" Gemma asks. She reaches a tentative hand to the bundled baby, and puts a hand on her cheek. "Meg."

"Papa?" Amara asks, reaching out from Leia's arms.

"Bring her here." Ben says, and Leia does. The little girl wraps her arms around his neck at once, and presses an open mouthed kiss to his chin. "Amara, meet your sister, Meg." Amara peers carefully over her father's arm, and looks distastefully at the new baby.

"Mm...No." She shakes her head, and Rey laughs. "Mama mine."

"Always." Rey says, leaning over to kiss the newly dubbed middle child. "I will always be your mama, just like I will always be Gemma's mama. I'm Meg's mama too."

"Mmm…" Amara shakes her head, her wavy chocolate colored hair flying wildly about.

"Amara…" Rey sighs.

"Don't worry, she'll warm up to the idea. Gemma did." Leia says.

"Amara, Meg good." Gemma says, tugging on her little sister's green sleeve. "See?" She leans over and kisses her littlest sister on the nose. Rey's heart swells with such great fondness for her precious eldest child.

"Gem Mine!" Amara declares, bringing her chubby hands down defiantly against her father's shoulders.

"Amara Rose, is that how we solve things?" Ben says evenly, his deep voice unbelievably soothing. The little girl plays with her fingers nervously and shakes her head.

" _I can't believe you're giving lectures about temper tantrums."_ Rey teases, and he gives her a sideways glance.

"Now, I think you should give Magdalena a fair chance, Amara." Ben says as if he were speaking to a logical adult. To anyone outside of the family, it would have appeared foolish, but they all knew how deep the bond ran between father and daughter when it came to Ben Solo and his girls. Their level of understanding was incredible. "See? Isn't she pretty?"

"Hm…" Amara muses, staring intently at the still pink and wrinkly face of the baby. Finally she nods. "Doll."

"Yes, she is as pretty as a doll, isn't she?" Rey asks with a smile. "Just like my pretty Amara. Just like my pretty Gemma."

"Mama pretty too!" Gemma insists, and looks to her father for affirmation. He grins and gently ruffles her hair.

"Yes, Gemma. Mama is pretty too."

…..

"You're not disappointed?" Rey asks a bit timidly as she watches Ben settle baby Meg into the tiny white bassinet next to their bed.

"About what?"

"That it's not a boy?" He glances over his shoulder at her with a furrowed brow, and takes a seat next to her on the clean blue bedding.

"Absolutely not." He takes one of her hands in his, and kisses the back of it. "Rey, I don't need a son to be happy, or content. You've given me three beautiful daughters. How could I be disappointed? You've seen Magdalena, she looks exactly like you. That makes me incredibly happy!"

"I really thought it was going to be a boy this time, is all. But I'm not disappointed either. I wouldn't trade any of them for a son." Rey says as Ben pulls her into his side. She nuzzles her face against his neck, and presses her lips to the exposed skin there. "I know we are going to have a son someday. I saw it in a dream."

"Did you?" He asks, tracing lazy patterns all along the back of her arm.

"I did. I even picked out a name for him."

"What is it?" Ben asks.

"Mmm...I'll tell you when you're holding him." Rey laughs.

"That hardly seems fair." He grumbles good naturedly. "Especially when you just gave me a child, so I'll have to wait force knows how long to find out. Where are you keeping it, anyways?"

"Oh, somewhere you'll never find it. Where I keep girl talk and secrets Rose and Eloriah tell me about their husbands." Rey whispers very seriously, and Ben chuckles.

"You're right, I never go there."

"Exactly." She giggles sleepily. His arms hold her a little tighter, and she hums contentedly against his chest. "Thank you."

"For what?" He asks as his lips brush against her hair.

"For the new baby. You thanked me- I thought I should thank you. You did have a part in it." She says, and stifles a yawn.

"You don't have to thank me for that, Rey. For me it's pretty instant gratification." She hears the smile in his voice.

"I know...I just...I love her. And I love you. And Gemma and Amara, and your mother…"

"You're exhausted, darling. I can tell because you're being so sentimental." He whispers.

"Of course I'm exhausted, did you see the size of Meg's head? I had to push that out of my body today. It was exhausting." Rey scoffs.

"And it was incredible. You were incredible. She's incredible." Ben whispers, and then his voice fills her mind. " _Go to sleep my love. I'm right here. Rest easy."_

" _Next time...I'm going to give you a boy."_

…

Next time turns out to be nearly three years later.

They name her Jessa Ani Solo. She's absolutely gorgeous, the very image of her grandmother from the day of her birth.

Rey tells Ben the same thing when they fall asleep that night.

" _Next time...I am going to give you a boy."_

… _._

"She's so perfect." Rose observes as she holds the latest addition to the Solo family. Rey smiles at her from where she sits with her four gorgeous daughters, now eight, six, four, and two. "What are you going to call this one?"

"Ben?" Rey asks, nodding for him to speak.

"Olivia Bail Solo." He smiles fondly at his newest daughter, a gorgeous blend of her father and mother, with the same brown eyes inherited by all of her sisters.

"What do you think Paige?" Rose asks, looking down at her adopted daughter, who is absolutely enamored with the baby her mother is holding.

"She's beautiful." Paige observes.

"Of course she's beautiful Paige, haven't you seen her mother?" Finn asks as he enters the room and sweeps the six year old girl up into his arms. Rey grins at them; they may not have been able to have a child of their own, but there was no doubting that Rose and Finn were wonderful parents. From the moment they had met the little orphan girl on Tatooine two years ago, and found out that her name was Paige, she'd been a part of their little family. She and Amara were inseparable, much like little Luke Dameron and Magdalena. Even little Jessa had become fast friends with the second Dameron child, a girl named Shara, only two months older than herself.

The little makeshift family they had formed from the resistance kept growing, and Rey wouldn't have had it any other way.


	66. Chapter 66: What Gemma Knows

_**AN: Did you think I was done? No, I couldn't leave them quite yet. We still have this chapter, one more chapter, and a short epilogue left for these darlings! Thanks so much to all of you, please enjoy!**_

Rey watches with a smile as Ben works with Amara and Magdalena on lifting rocks with the force. Amara, now nine years old, had the most natural talent with that sort of skill, and she worked on it tirelessly to improve it. Though she'd faced no sort of pressure from her parents, she'd already been begging for over a year to be allowed to go to Coruscant to train with her Uncle Luke at his new Jedi temple. They were getting closer and closer to allowing her to go, though Ben was insistent about her being too young, too unprotected, too alone if they sent her there. Even now she could sense his concern about it through the force.

" _She is not being sent if she goes, Ben, She wants to go. You know that."_ Rey says, and Ben glances over where she sits on a large blue blanket on the grass with Olivia and Jessa napping while she lets Gemma weave flowers into her chocolate colored hair.

" _I know. But that doesn't make it easier to let her go."_

" _I don't want her to go either- I would keep all of our children here with us if I could...but Amara wants to be a jedi, Ben. I can feel her desire for it, and I know you can too."_ His lack of response proves just how right she was.

"Mama?" Gemma asks quietly.

"Yes Gem?"

"Why does papa look so sad when I don't want to train with Amara?" Gemma asks, and Rey turns around to face her. She lets out a long sigh; her little Gemma...her first baby girl, was already ten years old, and more and more beautiful every day. Her force sensitivity, though greatly increased since she'd healed Ben all of those years ago now, was still only a shadow of what it had been at her birth, and greater only than her youngest sister's natural signature.

"You know the story, Gemma." They'd told her years ago, when Amara had started to stack blocks without using her hands, and Gemma had wondered why she couldn't do the same. They'd told her truth simply and honestly, and Gemma had accepted it with a shrug and gone back to playing.

"But it makes him feel guilty." Gemma observes, her dark eyes flickering to her father.

"He's never quite forgiven himself for what happened, I'm afraid." Rey says as she lifts her hand to smooth some of her daughter's ebony hair out of her chocolate eyes.

"But I have!" Gemma insists. "I'd do it again right now if I had to!" Rey's heart swells and she pulls her daughter into an embrace. "I would, Mama. I...I want to heal people. That's all I've ever wanted to do with the force anyways. And I can do that. So he shouldn't be sad. Because I'm not sad."

"I'm very glad to hear that precious." Rey kisses her forehead. "And I know that I'm proud of you, and your healing abilities. Grandma Leia says that soon, you won't have anything left to learn from her." Gemma glows at the praise.

"I'll leave being a jedi knight to Amara and Meg, if that's what they want. But I'm going to be a healer on here Naboo. It's what I want to do." Gemma says surely and Rey grins at her. "And someday, Papa won't feel badly anymore, because he'll know that I would have chosen him over the force a million times."

"You're such a sweet girl. You always have been...My sweet, beautiful little Gem." Rey gently pinches her cheek, and Gemma blushes as she pulls away from her mother's hold. Her inquisitive little girl looks at her, and finally settles her hand on her mother's stomach. "What are you doing?"

"Something...is different." Gemma says, cocking her head to the side. "It's like...when you were having Olivia...only...it's different."

"That's silly, Gem, I'm not pregnant." Rey laughs. After Olivia had been born, the doctors had told her that she would never conceive again. It had made her sad at first, that she would never get the little boy to complete her family, but she had five daughters, five beautiful daughters, and Ben had assured her that he wasn't disappointed that they wouldn't have a son. She had accepted it, and moved on.

"Yes you are." Gemma says, crossing her arms defiantly.

"No, Gem, I'm not." Rey shakes her head.

"Yes Mom, you are." Gemma says, her voice an exact echo of her mother's voice. "I can feel it."

"Oh- are we playing a game, Gem?" Rey asks with a bemused smile, and the little girl huffs, her pout exactly like her father's.

"It's not a game, Mama! I mean it. Feel." Gemma insists, grabbing her hand and pressing it gently, but firmly against her stomach. Rey frowns, because she can almost swear that she feels something. Something that was impossible.

"I...don't feel anything." Rey lies, and her daughter rolls her eyes.

"Then I'll ask Papa-"

"No!" Rey grabs her daughter's hand. "No. We don't need to tell him anything. There's nothing to tell- and I can settle this for you right now." She takes Gemma by the hand and leads her back to the house. She activates the med droid Poe and Eloriah had given them years ago as a gift, saying that with Eloriah traveling so much they'd need someone else to confirm the frequent pregnancies. The little droid had actually proven to be quite helpful, especially when Olivia had been revealed to have several minor health problems.

"How may I be of service?" The little silver droid chirps as it's blue eyes come to light.

"A blood test." Rey says, holding out her arm.

"A general test-"

"No, just a pregnancy test, thank you." Rey says softly, and the droid produces a needle from one of his many compartments. It retracts back into the droid's body, ready to be analyzed.

"Results will be ready in two minutes, thirty seven seconds." The droid says, making a slight whirring sound.

"You're being silly, mama." Gemma says, tapping her foot impatiently.

"You're being silly Gem." Rey insists, every bit as stubborn as her daughter. They stand, eyes dead locked, in complete silence for what feels like an eternity.

" _Is everything okay?"_ Ben asks, cautiously probing her mind.

" _Everything is fine, Ben. I'm just settling something with Gemma."_

" _Settling something? What did she do?"_ Ben asks, almost in shock. Gemma was always such a good girl, never one to disobey or cause problems.

" _Nothing, she was just being a little silly with her force healing. We're checking something with the droid."_ Rey explains. She feels him wince as a small rock grazes his shoulder. " _Magdalena is having trouble with controlling the path of an object again?"_

" _A little. That one was my fault. I was supposed to catch it, but I wasn't paying attention."_ He admits.

" _Shameful."_ Rey teases.

" _You just seemed...worried."_

" _I'm fine, I promise. Focus on what you're doing before one of our daughters hits you in the head with a rock, hm?"_ He laughs, and his presence recedes to a comforting hum at the edge of her mind.

"Results complete." The droid says with a quiet pinging sound.

"Well?" Rey asks.

"Patient tests positive for pregnancy."

"See, I told you-" Rey stops as she fully registers what the droid had said. "Excuse me?"

"Patient tests positive for pregnancy, blood work indicates-"

"I told you!" Gemma bursts out laughing, clapping her hands in delight and cutting off the droid.

"But that's not possible- I haven't had a period in three years!" Rey gapes at the droid, and then at her daughter.

"I could retest with a urine sample, if you would like." The droid says, and Rey shakes her head.

"See mama- I am smart!" Gemma insists.

"I never said you weren't smart, sweet girl...only that this makes no sense." Rey shakes her head and looks at her oldest child. The one who numerous doctors and nurses had told her was a miracle, because she should never have been able to conceive with the state her body was in. "The odds of this happening again…"

"Grandma told me that Grandpa never liked to know the odds." Gemma says, and Rey can't help but laugh. She wraps the pretty little girl in another embrace, and kisses her hair.

"Gemma, do you think you can keep this a secret, just for the night?" Rey asks.

"Sure...why?"

"Well, I want to surprise your father." Rey explains, and Gemma grins.

…

She'd practiced what she was going to say all afternoon. She'd thought it at least five hundred times as she'd prepared herself for bed. She'd closed the bond until there was only a sliver of their connection left, telling him she wanted to surprise him. He'd gone to tuck in the children while she'd dressed in a pretty cream colored night dress. She was completely ready for him.

But when she heard his footsteps in the hallway, every word she'd planned to say left her head at once. She was standing at the foot of the bed, as still as a statue when he came in.

"You look…" He starts when he sees her. "Incredible. Beautiful."

"Come here." Rey says, tilting her head to gesture for him to come forward. He closes the space between them in three strides. "I have a surprise for you."

"This…." He says, gesturing to her nightgown. "Isn't the surprise? Because it's a pretty good one."

"Believe me, this is a much bigger surprise." Rey says, and she takes both of his hands in her own, kissing his palms softly before she sets them on her abdomen.

"What are you-"

"Shh...don't talk, just feel." She instructs, her voice hardly audible. He closes his eyes, and she feels the bond thrum to life, his force signature flooding through her veins next to her own. It settles on her womb, finding the hum of life and light there. He falls to his knees, unable to form a coherent thought or sentence.

"Impossible." Is the first thing he says after almost a full minute of awed silence.

"I know." Rey says with a quiet laugh.

"You can't be pregnant- they told us you could never get pregnant again." He says, his eyes flickering up at her face.

"They also told me that Gemma should never have been able to thrive in my body, but she did." Rey says, pressing one hand on top of his, and raising the other to cradle his cheek. "But you can feel it now, the truth of it, can't you?"

"Yes." The simple word is a prayer.

"I know it's unexpected- I'm more surprised now than when I found out about Amara...but how do you feel?" She asks, and he presses his lips to her stomach in reply. "Are you happy?"

"Oh my love…" He rises to his feet, and presses his lips to her own. "How could I not be happy?" His lips trace all over her skin, and she smiles tremulously. "You're really pregnant? This is real?"

"It is. I hardly believe it myself, but it's real." She laughs, and he kisses her forehead. "So...one more chance for that boy, huh?"

"Or for a sixth daughter, hm?" He asks as his lips continue their trail down her face.

"Mmm...I could take that." Rey sighs as his lips meet hers once again. "I love you."

"I love you." He says, and he puts his hand on her stomach again. "And I love you."  
….

Rey couldn't help but smile as she looked at her profile in the mirror. Her stomach was well rounded in a way that it hadn't been for years, in a way it wasn't supposed to be ever again. But here she stood, somewhere around thirty years old, with the hem of her gray shirt rolled up over her stomach, just staring. She found that she did that often these days. She simply couldn't believe it. She could sense Ben watching her from the doorway, and he came up behind her slowly to wrap his arms around her, and pull her back flush against his chest.

"How are you?" He asks, his hand resting on the curve of her belly.

"Wonderful." She smiles and tilts her head back to rest against his shoulder. "She's moving a lot today."

"I feel that." she can tell by his tone of voice that he's smiling. "So have you accepted that it's a girl, then?"

"Well...It's hard to fight what the force is telling me." Rey says with a smirk. "Seems we're not very good at making boys, are we? Well...I don't mind. She's so happy and healthy. That's all I care about."

"Me too." Ben kisses her shoulder.

"I can't believe this is our sixth child. I can't believe we have six children. Did you ever imagine-"

"No, I didn't." He chuckles. "Back on Starkiller...I thought that was it. We would have that one moment together, and then we would never see each other again. But here we are, ten years later."

"Almost eleven, actually. Where does the time go?" Rey sighs.

"Unfortunately, it passes too quickly." He murmurs.

"Good things always seem to. And things just keep changing." she turns to face him, and catches his face in her hands. "But there is one thing that will never, never change."

"Oh?" He asks, his mouth curling into that delicious smirk.

"How much I love you and our family." She says, and he kisses her breathless.


	67. Chapter 67: Forever

_**AN: Well, this here is the last chapter, except for a short epilogue! You have all been the most wonderful readers- I'm so excited to be able to share this story with you! I have a new story, au from this one in the works, but I also have the Poe and Eloriah companion piece I was talking about. It's called "Hero Mode" and I'll be posting the first chapter today!**_

"Oh, Eloriah, you didnt have to come, but I'm so glad that you did!" Rey exclaims as she embraces her friend.

"I think I did have to come- this baby is a medical marvel, you need the best." Eloriah says with a teasing air. "Besides, Luke and Shara have been begging to come visit. They love Naboo, mostly for the swimming and the Solo and Tico children."

"Well, Magdalena is certainly excited about it." Rey chuckles. From their seat on the balcony they can see that little Luke is carrying her on his back as he runs through the garden, and her musical laughter rings through the air. A few yards away from them Jessa and Shara sit having a tea party with Gemma and Olivia, and several stuffed animals.

"Where's Amara?" Eloriah asks after a quick scan of the garden.

"Meditating with Ben. She takes the force very, very seriously." Rey explains with a quiet sigh. "We've promised her that once she's ten, she can go to Uncle Luke to the temple on Coruscant to train with the other children, if that's still what she wants. She's very determined that it is."

"Well, she'll be close by to Poe and I then. We would help keep an eye on her." Eloriah says, taking Rey's hand.

"Thank you." Rey squeezes it.

"Now tell me, how is baby Solo?" Eloriah asks, no longer able to contain her curiosity.

"She's well, as far at the droids and our local doctors can tell." Rey says as she runs her hand over her stomach.

" _They're_ well, mama." Gemma says from where she sits and Rey laughs.

"They're?" Eloriah asks.

"Oh, It's nothing. Gemma thinks I'm having twins."

"I don't think you're having twins, I _know_ you're having twins." Gemma says, rising and leaving the little girls on the blanket she'd set out for them.

"You've seen the holos from the ultrasounds, Gem. It's just one baby in there." Rey insists as her daughter comes over to them.

"I can't figure out why they're hiding. I've tried to coax them to move during the scans, but they won't. They're shy." Gemma explains, as she places her hands on her mother's stomach. "I was right about you being pregnant, and I'm right about this too."

"Oh yes, I've heard about how you diagnosed your mother. That's very impressive, Gem. One day you might just be a better nurse than I am." Eloriah says, making the young girl blush.

"Do you believe me Aunt Ellie?" Gemma asks, taking her hand. "There are two of them there. I've felt them. I don't know why Mama and Papa haven't."

"Well, Gem, I've seen the holos from the scans, and I have to say that I don't think your mother is carrying twins." Eloriah says softly. Gemma just frowns and goes back to gently caressing her mother's stomach.

"Well...she is. One of them is just hiding behind the other. It's just hard to tell, because their force signatures are so combined, like Mama and Papa's are. It almost just feels like one, unless you focus very hard." Gemma explains. "You'll see. They're there. I wish I could tell if it was a boy or girl. But they're so shy!"

"Alright Gemma." Rey laughs.

"I'm serious!"

"I know sweetheart." Rey nods.

"Gemma! Come back to play!" Jessa calls.

"Coming Jessa!" Gemma calls over her shoulder. "You'll all see soon." She says as she walks back to the blanket.

"I see she inherited her father's stubbornness." Eloriah says with a chuckle.

"Yes, she did...But I'm not entirely convinced it's just her father's stubbornness." Rey says. "I'm sure she gets her fair share of it from me."

"Oh for sure." Eloriah laughs. "I can't believe we haven't been able to visit in almost a full year! I've missed all of you, and Rose and Finn...Poe is just so busy with his work in the senate. I'm incredibly proud of him, but it keeps all of us very busy."

"I'm so proud of Poe's work. He really is an incredible leader." Rey smiles. "Is he still coming at the end of the week?"

"Yes, and he's quite looking forward to it." Eloriah smiles. "He told me to tell you to wait to, and I quote, "Pop this one out until he gets there"."

"Aw, what sweet sentiment." Rey laughs. "I'll see what I can do. But I make no guarantees, you know that Solo babies never like to come on their due dates."

"I remember." Eloriah smiles fondly.

…...

Rey grinned as she watched Ben reading to Olivia across the room. Jessa was curled up into her side, her chocolate colored waves falling over her mother's shoulder.

"Mama?" Jessa asks.

"Yes sweetheart?" Rey looks down at the five year old, who'd looked exactly like her grandmother from the day she'd been born, and she'd only grown to look more like Leia as she'd aged.

"When you have the new baby, will you still tuck me in?" Jessa asks, looking up at her with wide brown eyes.

"Of course I will Jessa!" Rey assures her, and presses a gentle kiss to her forehead. "I will always have time for you, and I will tuck you in for as long as you will let me."

"Promise?" Jessa asks.

"I swear on the force." Rey assures her, and she snuggles in closer to her mother's side. "I love you Jessa Ani."

"I love you mama." Jessa yawns, and leans back against her purple pillows.

"Goodnight my darling." Rey kisses her cheek as Ben comes across the room to help her stand up. Ben leans down and kisses Jessa's forehead.

"Goodnight Jessa girl." He whispers, and she smiles up at him.

"Night daddy." She kisses his cheek. Ben offers Rey his hand, which she takes.

" _Is Olivia already asleep?"_

" _Out like a light."_ He assures her as they creep out of the room. She kisses him on the lips when the door is closed, and he puts his hand on her stomach. "Active tonight, isn't she?"

"She is. She's giving me a little trouble." Rey admits as she presses her hands into her lower back.

"Trouble?" Ben asks, cradling her face in his hands.

"Just a back ache. But I haven't had any contractions since those two or three yesterday." She explains, and they walk hand in hand back to their own bedroom. "So, I think that Meg has a crush on Luke."

"No she doesn't." Ben insists with a shake of his head.

"And Eloriah tells me that it's mutual." Rey teases.

"She's only eight!" Ben scoffs.

"And he's nine- they're well matched." Rey says, fighting to stay serious.

"They're only children!" He shakes his head.

"Ben. It's fine. She's just got a little crush on him." Rey says softly. "Though, Meg did tell me today that she was going to marry him and be Mrs. Dameron." Ben lets out a soft groan. "And if he's even a quarter as charming as his father, she'll just fall more and more in love with him."

"I don't even want to think about our girls being old enough to have romantic feelings for anyone." He holds the door open for her and helps her undo the back of her dress.

"You know that it will happen eventually, Ben. Our girls are beautiful, they'll have men lining up and falling at their feet." Rey insists.

"Well, they do take after their mother." He says as the dress pools around her feet. He goes to the dresser and pulls out a soft green night dress for her. "I've seen the way that other men look at you, heard what they think of you. Some of them are lucky I let them walk away without a broken arm, or nose."

"Ben!" She laughs as he gestures for her to raise her arms. She obliges and he dresses her.

"Hey...I love you." He says as he catches her in his arms.

"I love- oh- ah!" She gasps as she feels a contraction rock through her body. He tenses as her hands wrap tightly around his upper arms.

"Another contraction?" He asks.

"Mmhm." She nods. "Mmm- ow, ow, ow!"

"You're in a lot of pain- it was never like this with any of the other ones." Ben says, his voice filled with concern. "Should I get Eloriah?"

"No- I'm fine." She insists through gritted teeth. "I just...wasn't expecting it, is all."

"Do you want to sit down?" He asks, and she nods. "Come on."

"It's fine. I'm alright." She says, helping her sit at the edge of the bed before he kneels at her feet.

"Are you sure?" He asks, and takes her hands.

"Yeah, It's passed- no, ow, ow!" She hisses. " _I don't know what's going on- the pains usually stop! But I can't even talk!"_

"I'm getting Eloriah." He starts to get up.

"Don't you dare leave me!" She says, gripping his hand like a vice.

"Rey-"

"Force- no, no, you can't go, Ben!" She insists, and her eyes fly open wide. "Oh my- Ben, it's happening right now!" She pulls up the hem of the nightdress, and she feels him tense. "What is it?"

"Yeah, that's a head." He stammers.

"I don't understand- it wasn't like this- it's never been so fast!"

"Just breathe, sweetheart. Just breathe. It's going to be fine." He assures her, sending her waves of calm that she was sure he didn't feel himself. "We can handle this. We can handle anything."

"Okay!" She nods, and bites down on her lip. "Ben- it hurts, it really hurts!"

"I know. You'll be okay. Come on, focus." Ben says firmly, but gently.

"Mama?" Gemma's voice is muffled by the door. "Are you okay? I felt…"

"Gemma, go get Aunt Eloriah!" Ben calls over his shoulder.

"Is mama okay?"

"Mama is fine, sweetheart, but she needs Aunt Eloriah."

"Alright!" She hears her daughter's footsteps move down the stone hallway.

But by the time Eloriah gets there, Rey is already holding onto a perfect, beautiful little girl with a thicker mop of curly black hair than any of her sisters before her.

"When we said that Solo's never come when they're expected,I had no idea how literal that was!" Eloriah huffs, rushing to Rey's side to look at the baby.

"We're both fine." Rey insists, and Eloriah gives the baby a once over.

"You did a good job, Ben." Eloriah observes, and he smiles tightly at her. Only Rey can sense the waves of his panic hiding beneath the wall of calm. "I'll take care of the placenta." The baby wiggles in her mother's arms, and Rey smiles.

"Hello Kyra." She coos, and Ben presses his lips to her hair.

"Mama? May I come in?" Gemma asks from the doorframe.

"Come on Gem, come meet your new sister." Rey says, waving her in. Gemma crosses the room quickly, and kneels on the bed beside her mother. "Gemma, this is Kyra."

"She's so little!" Gemma observes with a grin. "And she's very messy." Rey has to laugh at that.

"I'll tell you what, Gem, when I'm all done here, you can help me give her a quick bath. How does that sound?" Eloriah asks, and Gem nods enthusiastically. Minutes stretch on, and the pains continue. Rey hands Kyra to Ben, and grips at the stained bedsheets.

"This shouldn't still hurt so much, should it?" She pants desperately. She feels Gemma's hands gently stroking her hair, pouring healing light into her like her grandmother had taught her to do.

"I don't…." Eloriah shakes her head, and reaches for her bag. She attaches a heart monitor to her stomach and looks up at Rey with wide eyes. "That- that is a fetal heartbeat."

"What?!" Rey cries at the same time that Gemma lets out a triumphant shout. "But that's impossible!"

"Apparently not." Eloriah says, taking the new development in stride. "Hand me Kyra. I'll get her cleaned up while we're waiting."

"Waiting?" Rey asks with a groan.

"You're close- the second baby is moving into position. I'm sure it won't be long. Come on Gemma." Eloriah says, and the little girl nearly skips as she follows her into the fresher. Rey reaches blindly for Ben's hand, and he lets her grip it like a vice.

"Remind me never to brush off Gemma's instincts again." She hisses. "How did we both miss this? Machines make mistakes, but we can feel things- we didn't feel this!"

"Maybe they aren't…"Ben muses, his brow furrowing.

"What?"

"Maybe they aren't force sensitive." He suggests, and her brow furrows. "Kyra obviously is- we were so taken by her force signature, we didn't think we had to look beyond it."

"Is that even possible? Even Olivia has…" She lets out a deep breath as another contraction hits her. "Even Olivia registers something, and she has almost no force abilities."

"Gemma felt them, so I'd assume they have something." Ben says as he smooths hair out of her face. "Just...less than the other children."

"Mama, look! She's all cleaned up- and she's even more pretty!" Gemma carries baby Kyra with incredible caution as she returns to the room.

"She's beautiful." Rey acknowledges.

"Like her mother. Like all of my girls." Ben murmurs in her ear. She smiles but it twists into a grimace as she's racked with another pain."Maybe Gemma should go."

"Oh, I'm not leaving." Gemma insists. "I'm not scared."

"Gemma is my little nurses helper." Eloriah says as she comes back. "She's a brave girl."

"I don't care who stays or goes, I'm having this baby now!" Rey gasps, squeezing Ben's hand tightly. "Right now!"

"Well, mother's intuition is rarely wrong!" Eloriah says. Rey bears down again, biting her lip so hard she almost draws blood. "Just one more push, Rey! One strong push!"

"I already had one baby- this isn't fair!" She mutters, and Ben gives her hand a reassuring squeeze.

" _You can do it sweetheart. Come on, just one more push. Then you can hold both of our babies and rest."_ His voice is gentle and warm as it rings through her mind. It gives her the strength she needs for one final push.

"Well- what is it?" Rey asks when she hears the wail of a baby that brings on a new bout of cries from Kyra.

"Gemma, come here." Eloriah beckons her over, and whispers in her ear.

"It's a boy, Mama." Gemma says with a giant grin.

"What?" Rey almost gasps. "It's a boy? Is it really?"

"I promise, it's a boy." Eloriah smiles, and hands the baby to his mother. Rey can't help but let out a sob of pure joy.

"Hello handsome!" Rey says, pressing her lips to his dark curls. "Look at you, just like your father. He's so handsome- Bring Kyra to me!" Gemma comes to the bed, and Ben takes the new little girl in his arms and lays her in her mother's other arm. Rey lays against the pillows and stares at the two beautiful children that rest against her chest. "I can't believe it."

"I told you there were two." Gemma says smugly as she stares at her baby brother and sister.

"I will never doubt you again Gem." Rey assures her. Gemma leans to her and she kisses her forehead. "I love you sweet girl."

"I love you mama."

"You should be in bed kiddo." Ben says.

"I wanted to see if mama was okay. I felt her hurting." Gemma says with a frown. She's always been so good at that.

"I'm glad you came, sweet girl. But your father is right. You need to go to bed. It's very late." Rey says, and the little girl smiles and nods. "Do you want papa to walk you to your room?"

"Would you?" Gemma asks, glancing at her father.

"Of course sweetheart." Ben rises, and lifts up the girl in his arms.

"Daddy!" Gemma giggles.

"Always sweeping your girls off of their feet." Rey smirks.

"Always." Ben winks at her, and carries their oldest daughter out of the room. Rey watches them go, and glances down at the children resting against her chest. Their girl bears a striking resemblance to Gemma at the same age, though she didn't have quite as much dark hair. And the boy, her sweet, long awaited boy- he was just like her husband. The baby holos Leia had shown her of Ben proved that. She couldn't find a trace of her own features anywhere in the baby boy's face, and she wouldn't have had it any other way. He was perfect.

"Twins." Eloriah chuckles. "Well, Leia always did say they ran in the family."

"I can't believe it. Two babies- and one of them is a boy!" Rey's beaming now, absolutely beaming.

"Well it's true. Two beautiful babies. Kyra looks just like Gemma did, if I remember correctly." Eloriah grins.

"You do, and she does."

"What are you going to call the boy?"

"Oh, I've had a name picked out since before Magdalena was born. I haven't told anyone. Not even Ben." Rey smiles.

"How do you keep a secret from someone in your head?"

"Well, we don't pry. There's rarely anything we really keep from each other, but if we do we assume there's a good reason, and we don't poke and prod. It's really usually only to surprise each other."

"That's so sweet." Eloriah smiles. "I always knew that the two of you were in love. Even back on the ship. He always stared at you like you were the most precious thing in the world."

"He has, hasn't he?" Rey smirks. "He's an incredible man."

"I know- even Poe has admitted it." Eloriah smiles. "Well, everything looks good here Rey. You don't even need to be stitched this time- though, the times you needed stitches Ben took care of it. That force healing...incredible!"

"Yeah." Rey smiles.

"Well, the babies are a little on the small side, but they appear to be in good health. And they're adorable." Eloriah smiles. "I'll get the paperwork started. Oh- it's still in my bedroom. Will the three of you be alright for a few minutes?"

"Oh, I think we'll be just fine." Rey smiles. She feels Ben's force signature coming closer, and she smiles. "Besides, Ben is nearly back. We can handle a baby each no problem."

"I know." Eloriah says as she exits the room. Rey sits up a little straighter, and Kyra makes a little gurgling sound.

"Hello my little love. Such a surprise, both of you- though one more than the other." Rey smirks, her eyes flashing to her son.

"This is a sight I will never be tired of. You with our children." Ben leans against the door frame and watches them with a half smile on his lips. Rey's lips curl into a full grin as she looks at him. Even nearing forty, Ben was still the most handsome man she had ever seen. He'd hardly changed a bit since the first time they'd met when he was twenty nine. He had a few lines around his eyes, but other than that he hadn't changed a bit.

"Come here." She says, and he comes to her side. "Hold your son." she says, and she easily transfers the baby boy into his arms. She wraps her arms around her baby girl and presses her lips to the crown of her head. "I told you I'd give you a son, didn't I?"

"And it only took seven tries." Ben chuckles. "He's perfect. She's perfect. Force, I love you all!"

"And I love you. Very much." Rey leans her forehead against his, and for a moment they just let the bond flow between them, all warmth and love.

"Well, Kyra Eloriah has a name. What do we call her brother?" he asks.

"Micah." Rey says softly. "Micah Han, if you don't mind it."

"No. I don't." his voice is thick with emotion. "Hello Micah. My son."

"He looks just like you." Rey says proudly. "And she does too. Like Gemma did when she was born."

"I see you in her too. That's your nose, your ears...I think she'll have your chin too." Ben says.

"And your eyes. I always love seeing your eyes in our children." she grins. She kisses her daughter again. "Ten years and seven children. Who would have thought it? Did Gemma get to bed Okay?"

"She did. She was tired, but excited." Ben explains. "She kept babbling on and on about how she knew it was twins."

"Well she did. Her senses and healing instincts are incredible." Rey yawns as she rocks Kyra gently.

"I only wish she would try some other abilities." Ben sighs.

"She doesn't want to, Ben. She's no jedi knight, and she doesn't want to be. She just wants to heal. And that's okay." Rey caresses his cheek. Kyra yawns in her arms, and Rey smiles.

"I'll put her in the cradle." Ben offers. They switch babies, and Rey holds her son against her chest.

"Will you open your eyes for mama?" she asks, caressing the bridge of his nose gently. "Come on Micah Han, Let me see those beautiful brown...oh!"

"What?" Ben asks as he comes back to her side. He stops short when he sees the hazel eyes staring back at him.

"I guess he got something from me after all." Rey says quietly. Ben's heart is thumping unevenly, out of rhythm with her own for a rare moment.

"Is this how you felt when the girls opened their eyes for the first time?" He asks, placing his hand on his son's chest.

"And saw the eyes of the man I loved more than anything? _Yes_. It is." She doesn't need to ask him to define the feeling- she'd felt it with Kyra only moments ago, and five times before that with their five other beautiful daughters. He places the tenderest kiss on her lips, and whispers words of thanks in her ear. For ten years- for loving him- for seven children- for his happiness. Things she would have thanked him for if he wasn't so stubborn about not being worthy. "I still don't feel him in the force. Not like I felt the girls. Compared to what I'm getting from him, Olivia seems like a fully trained Jedi Knight."

"I know. I don't have anything from him either." Ben observes with an almost casual shrug.

"Are you disappointed?" She asks, biting her lip. He looks at her incredulously.

"In the ten years that you've been having my children, have I ever once been disappointed in any outcome?" He asks and she shakes her head. "Because I love them, and I love you. He may not show any sign of force sensitivity now, but who's to say he won't have an awakening later, like you did? And even if he didn't, he's still our son. And he's perfect."

"I know he is." Rey smiles fondly at her youngest child. "I suppose if we wanted to know for certain, we could have his midichlorians counted." They'd done that when Olivia had been born. It had been a number hardly above what was normal in any human life form.

"We could. But it doesn't matter." Ben says, and her smile grows even wider.

"Because he will grow up safe, and loved." She murmurs, and kisses the crown of his head.

"He will never doubt that." Ben promises her.

"He's going to be your little mini me, you know." Rey says, her chest nearly bursting with Pride. "I love you." he smirks and brushes some hair out of her face.

"I know."


	68. Chapter 68 Ever After

_**AN: Oh my goodness...so this is it. The Epilogue. I can't believe it...Thank you so much to everyone who took the time to read this story! You all have a special place in my heart! There are still several more chapters of "Hero Mode" which is the Poe/Eloriah companion fic I've posted, and Later tonight, I do plan on posting my first one shot from this universe, because I really love these characters, and I wanted to hold onto them for just a little longer. it'll be a series of one shots under the title "Never Alone; Quiet Moments", so if you're interested, keep an eye out for that! Love you all!**_

Gemma Bey Solo did become the most powerful force healer since the fall of the old jedi order. She never took interest in any other force skill set, but she continued to have an incredible sense of what people were feeling. At the age of twenty two she married a man named Pax, a doctor, and traveled the galaxy with him offering healing services to those in need.

Amara Rose Solo followed in her uncle Luke's footsteps, and became a true Jedi master. She never did fall in love, choosing instead to dedicate herself to the force, and to the nieces and nephews that would come from the marriages of her various siblings. When Luke passed peacefully into the force at an incredibly old age, she took over his new academy, which she had helped to run for many years.

Magdalena Leia Solo went to the Jedi academy at the age of ten for training, and became a Jedi master in the same right that her mother and father had. Her location on Coruscant and proximity to the Dameron children provided the perfect opportunity for her to fall in love, and at the age of only eighteen she did marry Luke Dameron, despite her father's protests that she was too young. They had their first child three years into their marriage. It was a girl they named Padme.

Jessa Ani Solo inherited her mother's love of vehicles, droids, building, and fixing. She had very little interest in the force, training enough to understand it, but not enough to be truly powerful with it, much like the Grandmother she looked so much like. She opened her own mechanics shop, and married a usual customer named Ranulph, a pilot and adventurer when she was twenty seven.

Olivia Bail Solo chose to live a quiet life as a writer on Naboo. She'd never felt bitter about her lack of force powers- she'd never felt she needed them. She prefered books to lightsabers, and craved quiet instead of adventure. She was a quiet woman, and it surprised everyone of her family members when she announced at the age of twenty four that she would be marrying Boman, the quiet man who owned the library she so loved. They were a good match, despite an age difference of almost fifteen years, but no one, especially not Olivia herself, had ever expected her to be bold enough to make any sort of match.

Kyra Eloriah Solo followed her sister Amara's path, and became her sister's padawan and eventually a jedi master in her own right. Her devotion to the children at the academy filled her life, and made her feel complete.

Micah Han Solo never did have an awakening in the force. When Kyra had started to demonstrate great power with it, he initially felt envious, but his father had explained to him that not having the force didnt make him any less special than any of his siblings, and had still taken him under his wing and trained him in meditation and combat just as he had each of his daughters. Micah followed in his Grandmother and Great Grandmother's footsteps, and became a senator. When he was twenty five, he married Nimue, a former queen of Naboo. They would have the most children out of all of his siblings, totaling at nine, each of them a powerful force sensitive.

Ben lived to be one hundred and fifteen years old, a lifespan just longer than that of his uncle Luke, and Rey passed peacefully into the force one day after he did. In all they were survived by seven children, twenty grandchildren, fifteen great grandchildren, and three great great grand children. In all of their years together, they were never apart for more than two days at a time, and they never did take up a public life style. Occasionally over the years, they had gone out to face a new evil, but their strong bond in the force was always enough to overtake the threat.

Even after their deaths, they continued to advise their descendants through the force, only ever appearing together. Even death could not break the forcebond that they'd forged one fateful day on a first order base when they'd taken a risk that would change the galaxy.


End file.
